


Always Beside You

by Dreamingwithwings



Category: Free!
Genre: Did I mention fluff?, Eventual Smut, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Haru gets jealous, Hidden Feelings, M/M, Makoto gets a girlfriend, Misunderstandings, Reigisa gives me cavities, Slow Build, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, actual shoujo expert Rin, cute side pairings, domestic adorable hell, its angsty in the beginning but trust me it gets fluffy later on, makoharu - Freeform, makoharu gives me life, reigisa - Freeform, sexy makoharu time, sourin, the Tachibana's are all cinnamon rolls, these two are idiots in love, tokyo fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-04 22:40:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 127,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4155681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamingwithwings/pseuds/Dreamingwithwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>or, alternatively labeled in my word document, "Makoto Got a Girlfriend that Asshat" </p><p>Makoto was a stud on campus, and everyone- including the guys- knew it. So it wasn't odd when he received another confession from a smitten admirer. To Haru, it was as common as rain. What made this girl any different? Makoto said yes.  </p><p>When Makoto get's a girlfriend, Haru convinces himself that he doesn't care. Why should he? It didn't affect him any! But not even he can explain away the thumping in his chest, the knots in his stomach, and the halt of his heart as he stares into eyes of green. </p><p>A story that proves not all soulmates are thousands of miles apart. They might even be right beside you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Lets always become even freer here.  
> Lets grasp the light reaching us with our hands and turn it into the hope to go further. "  
> -Haruka and Makoto, duet song "Always Here"

Tokyo was different from Iwatobi in every conceivable way. This Haru had come to understand quite quickly upon his arrival to his new home. It was twice as big, three times more populated, and everything had that unfamiliar feel that made him yearn for the pool way back at school. More than once the new location had filled him with uncertainty, and even left him uncomfortable and wishing to go back home where everything felt just so much more _safe_. But there was one thing that Tokyo had that home no longer did. Makoto. That was enough to ease any worries he had. As long as Makoto was here with him, it would be okay.

After all, there was nobody as comfortable and constant in his life like Makoto was. From diapers to swimsuits and even graduation cap and gowns they had been by each other’s sides with very little change. The closest to separation they ever got was their argument last year at the fireworks and that was a scene that Haru had already long since buried in the deepest cavity of his heart so he would never again have to relive the pain it brought him. No, to him Makoto would forever be that hand offered to him at the end of the pool, and nothing would ever change that. Always waiting, always steady. The great thing about Iwatobi was that everyone knew this. Tokyo, however, did not.

It was like somebody had given baby a new toy, and now everyone was enthralled by Makoto. They grabbed at him like candy as if he was something to be passed around. Really, it was quite ridiculous and it annoyed Haru immensely. They could hardly walk to some café for tea without a group of girls stopping to chat with him, or even some guys wondering if he would sub in for their football team because of a missing player. Even the cats thought he was some amazing toy to snuggle. Haru was rather glad Makoto’s apartment banned pets or the giant orca would be drowning in the furry little devils. 

Really, though, it wasn’t that he was upset others were paying attention to Makoto. As his best friend, he already knew how great Makoto could be and understood why people would be interested in him. No, what got on his nerves was that this happened while it was _his_ time with Makoto. The understanding that had been in Iwatobi where they came as a team had completely dissolved into two separate beings who saw the potential of Makoto and ignored Haru completely, even if they had already had prior plans. 

And with the gentle nature that Makoto had, he couldn’t even say no to these people. Haru wondered if he even knew the existence of such a word. He could vaguely recall him using the word on Nagisa once, but he might have been just winging it there since Nagisa was rather insane and probably didn’t know the word either. So while Makoto was chatting with girls or engaging in sports, Haru was left on the sidelines to watch. 

But Haru dealt with it. He knew it would be selfish to keep Makoto to himself, and really he was sure that though he probably could survive off of Makoto’s company alone, Makoto could not. He needed the presence of other people and that was something Haru knew he could not provide. In all honesty, Makoto was like a puppy. A large, never-say-no puppy. 

 

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Haru knew it was going to be a confession even before Makoto seemed to. He could tell in the way Makoto had been staring right at her, a look of friendly interest on his face. The oblivious giant had no idea that this girl was flirting with him. But Haru knew because he had seen it before. The way she pushed her hair behind her ear no less than ten times a minute, how she titled her body ever so lightly so that she was closer to him, and oh god that laugh. There was no way that could be her natural laugh. Haru could hear it all the way at the entrance, where he was currently waiting for Makoto to arrive at so they could go back to his place for a study session. It sounded like some digital monster. 

He had to admit, though. Makoto’s current predator was quite pretty. She had the darkest of black hair, straight as a ruler all the way down to her lower back. It flowed ever so slightly in the wind, as if the wind was her wingman or something. Her body shape in general was elegant, not like a dolls but with actual curves that couldn’t be natural. _She has to be an athlete_ , haru decided. _Outdoor sport_. He added to the tan noticeable on her skin. _Track?_

Before he could analyze her any further, there was a change in their movement and she was grabbing his hand, looking down at the ground before staring up at him. If Haru could see her face, he would be sure she was fluttering her eyelashes in that freaky ability girls just seemed to be born with. 

The way Makoto’s face cut from a smile to an abrupt ‘o’ shape told him that she had finally cut the act and confessed. Even from here Haru was able to watch the blush start from the edge of Makoto’s ears and dance across his face until he was bright red to the point Haru was sure he could cook mackerel on it. He smirked at the sight, looking up at the sky as a bird flew by. 

He wondered how Makoto would decline this time. This wasn’t the first confession Makoto had received, after all. Even in high school, Makoto had been quite popular with the ladies. He could still remember quite vividly the first one the brunette had ever received. He had been taken off-guard so much that he ended up blubbering out nonsense sentences and Haru had to speak up in his stead. By now, he was used to it and Haru didn’t have to. It was the closest to no Makoto ever seemed to get, though he never truly declined a girl upfront. He was sly in the way he would always come up with an excuse to get out of the situation without dashing the poor girls hopes. 

Honestly, to Haru he thought that was crueler then letting them know right away he wasn’t interested. In this way they couldn’t move on and find some other person to fall for. But Makoto didn’t have the ability to be a heartbreaker. He was too kind. 

When Haru looked back over to where they stood, the girl was gone and Makoto was making his way over to him. 

“Haru!” he smiled, waving at him as Haru pushed off from the wall and grabbed his bag off the ground. “I hope you weren’t waiting too long.”

“Not really.” He replied, stretching his arm a little bit. It was a bit sore from swimming practice. He was going to ask Makoto to help stretch him out later. “Who was that girl?” It wasn’t as if his talk with her had been a private one, and yet Makoto jumped as if Haru had figured out this deep dark secret of his. 

“Ah- uh… a girl.” _Duh_. Makoto itched his cheek like he always did when he was nervous, and Haru eyed him suspiciously. “Uh, she confessed to me.” He admitted. _Again duh_. Haru wouldn’t say that out loud though, and acted as if this was a surprise to him. 

“Oh, really?” did that sound too fake? Probably. But Makoto didn’t seem to notice. They came to stop as the crosswalk light turned red. “How did you let her down this time?” the electricity in the air suddenly seemed to static, and all Haru could hear was absolute silence. Makoto was not answering. Makoto was not telling him how he let her down easy. Makoto was instead pushing back his bangs and laughing a bit and avoiding his eye contact _completely_. 

“Actually I… Didn’t.” More laughter like he was admitting something embarrassing. “I agreed to a date. We’re… going to the movies this Friday.” The light turned green, and automatically they both started to move across the street. 

“Oh?” his voice sounded un-interested, but inside his heart was pounding. He pushed off the reasoning on the surprise of Makoto’s answer. That had to be it. That had to be why all he kept hearing was static. 

“Yeah.” And he smiled. Not one of those fake smiles that he sometimes gave, the ones only Haru knew because there was only a distinct difference if you knew where to look, but a true, genuine smile. “I have a couple of classes together with her and she’s really nice and funny. I thought why not?” he paused, a look of giddiness, _actual giddiness_ , appearing on his face. Had he even ever seen that expression on Makoto’s face before? “It could be fun! My first date!” 

“What’s her name?” Haru asked, not looking away from Makoto’s face for a moment. 

“Hiromi.” Haru didn’t know why, but he thought the name was ugly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It doesn't matter what excuse you make after doing something, it doesn't really have to be some deep reason."  
> -Haruka in the duet "Always Here"

When he was 10 and thought he was unbeatable, Haru had taunted a group of twelve-year-olds into racing him. Makoto had been against it, of course, wishing that his friend would be a little less confrontational, but Haru completely ignored him and got into running position. The three boys he had challenged smirked at him like he was some kind of joke. Makoto told him to be careful. Haru tsked at all four of them.

In retrospect, Haru was sure he would have won. He was smaller, but he had natural long legs and a more fit body while the others looked like brutes that should be off having a wrestling match or something. He clearly was in the advantage here. Makoto even had started cheering him on. Then his foot slipped on some loose gravel and Haru went down just like that, his momentum dragging him across the concrete like some slip and slide. Makoto ran to him. The twelve-year-olds bolted. 

The concrete had not been kind, gashing at his legs with some rather deep scratches that painted a good part of his legs red with his blood. It stung and was hurting within seconds after Haru pulled himself into a sitting position. Not even he had a strong enough will yet to keep the tears from trailing down his face. 

Makoto had been panicked at first, shouting “Haru-chan are you okay!?” and “Haru-chan you’re bleeding!” but the moment he had noticed that it had been enough to cause Haru to cry another instinct had seemed to kick in and it was Makoto telling him what to do and Makoto washing the blood off his legs and Makoto giving him a piggyback ride from the park back home. It was in his later years that Haru realized that this was some sort of parental mode Makoto had adapted from having younger siblings. Mamakoto he liked to call it. He thought the term was quite fitting. 

“Haru-chan, you really should be more careful.” Makoto had even decided that a lecture was necessary on the walk back. All Haru said in reply was for him the drop the –chan, which Makoto just laughed to. “I’m serious though! It’s lucky that it wasn’t worse.” Haru was silent, deciding that burrowing his nose into the back of Makoto’s neck and staring at the hairs there was better than a reply. He could almost feel Makoto biting his lip even if he couldn’t see it. “…Do they still hurt?” 

“Not as much now.” Makoto stopped to readjust him on his back before crossing a street. 

“I’m glad.” This time he was sure Makoto was smiling. “I was worried.”

“Don’t be stupid.” He closed his eyes. Makoto’s back was warm and was making him sleepy. “They’re just scratches. They’ll heal.” 

“I suppose.” He chuckled. They were making their way up the steps now. Makoto was careful to go up them slowly to not jog Haru on his back too much. “Are your mom and dad home?” Haru nodded.

“Mom should be.” This proved true as when they walked in, sounds could be heard from the kitchen. She poked out a head to greet them, only to become frazzled at the sight of her son’s legs. Makoto was told to drop Haru off in the living room while she went up the stairs for the first-aid kit. 

“Do you want me to wait for your mom to come back?” Makoto asked, sliding Haru gently onto the couch as to not disturb his legs. Haru shook his head. 

“No it’s fine.” Makoto smiled. 

“Okay. Feel better than, Haru-chan!” he made to leave, yet was pulled to a stop as Haru reached out and grabbed his shirt to stop him. “Haru?” the boy in question had his head turned to the side to hide his expression. 

“Thank you, Makoto.” A pause. “I… appreciate it. Your help, I mean…” A wide smile spread across Makoto’s face and made it glow. 

“Haru-chan!” Haru felt a dip form on the couch and turned to see why when he suddenly felt warm arms wrap around him and his face was buried into a shoulder. Makoto was shaking his head. “It was no problem. It kind of liked it-“ he then pushed Haru away by the shoulders abruptly so green could look into blue “Not you getting hurt of course! But-“ Makoto couldn’t help but regain his smile as he looked to the side, something he probably had picked up from Haru. “I liked taking care of you. It almost made me feel like I was taking care of my girlfriend or something.” Makoto chuckled. Haru was pretty sure his cheeks had burst into flame that day. 

 

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“’Taking care of his girlfriend’, huh?” Haru poked the dolphin sitting with him in the tub, watching as it bobbled. It had been eight years since that had happened, and while it had been buried and forgotten in his memory, it had suddenly re-appeared like an annoying weed. He figured it had something to do with the fact that Makoto’s date was today  
.  
Haru sighed, sinking into the water and blowing out bubbles. He didn’t understand, but he had been feeling uneasy all day and it had affected him quite negatively. First he had botched an exam in class. Then his times at practice had been lower than they ever had been before, which earned him a scolding from his coach. Neither could compare, however, to missing the train he needed to take to get home and having to wait a whole other hour just so he could get back. No adult, child, or dog dared to stand next to him and the aura he emitted for a 30 foot radius. 

To try and relieve this quite unnecessary tension he had opted to take a bath, which in hindsight had been a good idea. Baths were great in calming him down since it immersed him in the thing he loved most. What he hadn’t counted on, however, was to suddenly reclaim that memory and stupid young Makoto’s statement. Now his stomach was acting weird again, like it had gained density or something. Haru couldn’t even fathom an idea why. It was stupid. It was annoying. It needed to stop. What did that memory have to do with anything? Sure, at the time he had been embarrassed but now he didn’t care whatsoever. Makoto always said weird stuff, so why did that one matter? 

“Bothersome.” Haru spoke out loud to the water, the sound converting to bubbles. This wasn’t even his problem. Makoto could get a girlfriend if he wanted. It wasn’t like he was going to stop him. He didn’t _care_. He decided to place the blame on remembering purely on the fact that a commonality between today and then was the word ‘girlfriend’ and nothing more. It was the logical thing to assume in the situation presented to him. Now as for why his stomach was in knots, he was clueless.

Haru hadn’t heard the ring on the first call. It was to be expected. After all he had been underwater and his mind had been full of thoughts that led him nowhere. As he did finally surface he caught the ringing of the second call, to which he just shook his head to rid himself of the water droplets and let it ring. Who would be calling him? He had no idea. He had no reason to be called. Haru sighed a heavy sigh. He got out of the tub, reaching for a towel as he did so. 

Along with his other school stuff he had placed his phone on the counter in the kitchen, so that was where he headed as the tone died. When he reached it and finally picked up the device, he had two missed calls and a text message. All of them were from Makoto. He decided to open the text first. 

_Haru pick up I’m having a crisis! D:_

A crisis? Haru couldn’t help but wonder what it could be. He decided guessing was a useless effort and just hit redial on one of the missed calls. It rang twice before a very relieved Makoto answered.

“Haru-chan you answered!” 

“Drop the –chan or I’ll just hang up.” 

“What? No sorry! Don’t hang up please I need your help!” Makoto begged. He sounded pretty desperate. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked. There was a pause. 

“I-I… I don’t know what to wear!” Haru blinked. He could have expected many things to be the reason for the call. There was a spider in his shower, for instance. Not like it hadn’t happened before. Or perhaps he forgot about a project he needed to do and now he had to cancel the date. Honestly a fashion crisis was not one of them. 

“… and you’re calling me?” Haru asked bluntly. 

“I don’t have anybody else to ask…!” Haru could pretty much hear him pout over the phone. “Please, could you maybe come over and help me?” Haru looked at the time. 4:12. Makoto’s date was in 3 hours. The poor bastard. 

“Okay.” Haru sighed. “I’m on my way.”

“Oh thank you Haru! I really appreciate this! I promise to treat you to some mackerel for dinner sometime!” Just a bit Haru’s eyes sparkled. 

“I’ll be there in forty.” He hung up the phone. 

 

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Because of the trains delay, it was closer to an hour before Haru was standing on Makoto’s doorstep. He didn’t even get a chance to knock, however, before the door opened and Makoto was pulling him by the wrists inside. 

“Haru, thank you so much! Sorry for just springing this on you.” Haru just nodded, kicking off his shoes and putting his bag down at the entrance like he usually did. He noticed the frazzled look in Makoto’s clothes and the dismay of his hair. Obviously he had been working on this for a while already.

“Don’t worry about it. Do you at least have something narrowed down?” Makoto nodded, leading the way to his bedroom. Haru always enjoyed Makoto’s room the most, secretly finding pleasure in how Makoto had taken up a collage of pictures around the walls. It was nice to see smiling faces of those he knew and missed once and a while. Walking in, he habitually found the picture of last year’s national’s race with Rei and Nagisa. It was his favorite picture amongst them all. 

“I’m between these.” He pointed to the piles of clothes on his bed, an assortment of about five outfits in total. They had quite the interesting range, starting from really casual to a formal vest and tie. He stared at the vest with an amused expression.

“Where exactly are you taking her?” he asked. “Prom?” 

“Well, I don’t know how formal you’re supposed to be on dates!” Makoto protested. His flailing could have rivaled Nagisa’s. “What if we go to a fancy place or something!? I don’t want to look off. And she might have high tastes and expect me to dress the part!” Haru stared at him.

“Makoto. It’s the first date. Relax.” Haru tugged at a shirt, noticed the orange and yellow shirt he was used to wearing, and threw it on the pillows and away from those being considered. “You said you were going to the movies and then getting dinner, right?” Makoto nodded sheepishly. 

“I suggest wearing something casual.” Haru pulled up a green shirt and tan pants before going to Makoto’s closet to pull out his blue jacket. “You look the best in that sort of thing. You want to impress her, right?” 

“I- uh yeah.” He nodded, catching the clothes as Haru tossed them at him. 

“Try that on.” Despite having seen Makoto change countless times in his life, Haru still gave him the decency of looking away and finding interest in a basic fold on the comforter. 

“How does it look?” when Haru looked back over Makoto was smoothing down the green shirt self-consciously. Haru looked at him thoughtfully. His best friend wasn’t exactly unattractive in the first place, not if his muscles, kind face, and fluffy hair had anything to say about it. No, how he looked wasn’t really the issue. Walking over to him, Haru motioned for him to turn around as he took all of him in. 

“You look fine. But it might be a little too informal. Take the shirt off. We’ll try something else.” Haru looked back to the bed and moved a couple aside before he picked up a blue and white striped sweater. It might be a little warm, but the sleeves were elbow-cut, so he figured Makoto would be fine. 

“How about this?” he lifted it in the others direction, watching as Makoto flung the previous shirt onto the floor. “Your mother would be disappointed.” Makoto grinned. 

“I’m a free man now, Haru. I make my own rules! Earlier today, I didn’t use a coaster. It left a ring and everything.” 

“Woah there wild man. Don’t be taking too many risks your mom won’t be able to take it. Now put this on.” Haru threw it rather hard, making sure to hit him in the face. He smirked as Makoto stuck his tongue out at him. For someone who claimed to be a man, his response was quite childish and so incredibly Makoto. Of course, Haru responded with equal maturity. He threw another shirt at his face. “Change, idiot. You’re date will be here in an hour.” 

A look of realization took over and Makoto was quickly pulling the shirt Haru picked out over his head and smoothing it down his shoulders. He spun at Haru’s request.  
“I think that looks good.” Haru nodded. “Though your hair…” he stared at the messed up ends sticking out in various directions. “It looks like you haven’t brushed it in days.” Makoto started brushing it with his fingers to try and smooth it out. 

“Better?” Haru shook his head, Makoto’s effort having done absolutely nothing. He took a step closer.

“Here.” Going up on his tiptoes he started running his fingers through the brunette’s hair, straightening little clumps at a time and placing them where they were supposed to be. “This would be a lot easier if you weren’t so damn tall.” He mumbled, trying to get at the back and leaning even closer. He didn’t even realize how close his and Makoto’s face had gotten until he was done fixing it and he looked back at him, only to be in a sudden field of green. Had Makoto’s eyes always been this bright and big and pretty? Whether or not they always had, Haru was quite aware now and his mind was comparing them to emeralds. Except he was sure that even the gem couldn’t compare to the shine Makoto’s had. It would be better to compare them to the sun. How could they be that naturally beautiful? 

But this was quickly forgotten now as Makoto was suddenly exhaling and he could feel warm breath on his lips and now Haru’s heart was pounding, pounding like a drum. Distance became as much as a requirement as breathing and he slid off his tiptoes and back a step as gracefully as a swimmer like he could muster. “T-there.” He stammered, playing with his shirt sleeve so he would have an excuse to deliberately not look at Makoto. He willed his heart to calm itself because what the hell was it even doing? “You should be all ready. Wear your dark sneakers with this.” 

“Mmm.” Makoto nodded, studying him. “Thanks a lot for your help, Haru. I really do owe you.” Haru knew he was smiling and so looked up to take in the reality of it. 

“I already said it’s fine.” As long as mackerel was still part of the plan, of course. “I probably should get going.” He added. 

“O-okay.” Makoto nodded, his face falling a little bit. “Unless, you um… want to meet her. I wouldn’t mind.” Haru took note of the hope in Makoto’s voice and decided that it won over the pressure in his stomach. 

“Okay.” And so Haru stayed to meet Hiromi.

 

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She was way too beautiful to be real. This girl could not be a real person. Haru was sure of it. He had half a mind to tell Makoto that she must be a robot and to grab him and just get the hell out of there lest they want to be enslaved by the mechanic race. Yet, Makoto seemed convinced that his date was a living human being, and Haru supposed he should rely on his friend’s judgment at least some of the time. Where to swim, of course, was always the exception. The answer was everywhere. Always. 

The first thing Haru noticed was how blue her eyes were. They were deep and expansive, much like the ocean, and pretty too, just like her face. Her eyes were not like most, which often held pigments of other colors. No, instead they were one solid shade of blue. Their depth was mesmerizing to the point of maddening. Together with her rich black hair, pulled back and curled to incredible perfection, she was vibrant and stuck out like a rose amongst wildflowers. 

And them legs. This girl knew she had a figure. Knew what to wear to show it off, too. The skirt she wore was short, pleated, and black, hugging her tightly while in contrast her shirt was ruffled, loose, and lilac. Over her shoulders hung a velvety black fabric that looked like it was supposed to be used to keep her warm, though Haru doubted it could do much to help her. Maybe it was just decoration. 

“Hiromi-chan!” Makoto smiled, his eyes lighting up as he stepped aside for her to walk into his apartment. Haru stood off to the side, doing his best to stay out of the way. “You look very cute today!” she waved her hand in the air, pushing aside the complement like it was nothing. 

“Thank you, Makoto-kun.” Hiromi smiled, displaying perfect teeth. “You look very handsome yourself!” Haru was starting to wish he could melt into the walls. He just felt so awkward being there. 

“Ah!” A blush formed on Makoto’s cheeks. “Thank you! But I had help from Haru, so I can’t take much credit there.” He chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. 

“’Haru’?” she said his name with a question, finally just noticing that Haru was even in the room. Her eyes danced across every feature, taking in all of him at once. It made him ungodly uncomfortable, and he immediately looked in another direction and away from those massive eyes. His heart was pounding. 

“Ah! I forgot!” Makoto sounded embarrassed, waving his hands in the air. He rushed over and set a warm hand on Haru’s shoulder. “Hiromi-chan, this is my best friend, Haruka Nanase. We grew up together.” 

“Haruka?” a smile burst across her face, and Haru could immediately tell she was trying hard not to laugh. “So you have a girly name too?” Haru puffed a breath of air at his bangs. “Sorry, sorry!” she apologized, still trying to stifle it by pressing fingers to her delicate lips painted by gloss. “I’m just- I thought Makoto-kun was a girl the first day of classes too so I’m just a bit surprised as all.” 

“Well, he does need a haircut.” Haru reached up and yanked on a clump of Makoto’s hair for effect. “It’s bound to happen.”

“Haruuuuuuu-“ Makoto whined, trying to shake off his hand. “That’s mean…” meanwhile Hiromi was straightening herself and bowed her head slightly towards Haru. 

“Sorry, Haruka-kun, I really didn’t mean to laugh.” She offered a pleasant smile and a hand. “It really is great to meet you, especially if you are a close friend of Makoto-kun.” Haru stared at the offered hand with a pause, contemplating whether or not to take it before deciding that since Makoto was right there, he better. 

“Yeah.” Her grip was strong and warm, all in all very friendly. And yet Haru got an uneasy feeling from their conjoined hands and broke the shake quickly. It really felt like his heartbeat didn’t know the meaning of calm anymore. Makoto looked at the clock on the television. 

“We better get going if the movie is at 7:30.” He pulled his hand off Haru’s shoulder and led the way to the door, opening it so Hiromi could pass through. “Are you going to leave with us or stay over for a little bit?” Haru grabbed his stuff off from a chair he had left it on, shaking his head. 

“I have homework to do.” An expression of guilt crossed over Makoto’s face for a moment before hiding it, instead giving a nod. 

“Okay.” 

Haru followed behind them, the two walking side by side in front, and found himself looking over the railing instead as they made their way down the stairs. He couldn’t watch as her hand twitched beside Makoto, obviously wanting to grab it, nor could he look at Makoto and see how he was smiling at her and not have his stomach twisting into knots. He hated this uneasiness and the coldness that crept and the pounding of blood and never in his life had he ever looked forward to saying goodbye to Makoto as he did now. 

“Bye Haru!”

“See you.” 

“Nice meeting you, Haruka-kun!” As they turned left towards the theater, he turned right towards the station. He was about halfway down the block when he turned to look back for no reason that he could explain with words. The two of them were holding hands, fingers locked and all. It was at that moment that Haru’s heart stopped and everything burned.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FORMATING ON THIS WEBSITE IS AWFUL THIS IS MY THIRD TIME HAVING TO GO BACK AND EDIT IT GAHHHHHH
> 
> *ehem* fixed it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "At first it was just the two of us  
> and before noticing, we're now a team."  
> -Haruka and Makoto in their duet 'Always Here'

“Haru-chan, Haru-chan! Can you see us? Are we coming in?” Haru sighed into his palm, squeezing his cup of freshly made coffee tightly with the other. Nagisa and Rei had been fuddling with the camera for about five minutes now, and he was getting relatively bored. The fact that it was ten and he had already had a long day of swimming practice probably didn’t help matters. 

“Yes, Nagisa.” The blonde seemed unconvinced, leaning back from his spot on the floor and tugging at Rei’s earlobe. 

“Even Rei-chan and his dorky new haircut?” 

“Nagisa-Kun!” Even through the computer screen Haru could see Rei’s face turn three shades of red. 

“Yes, even Rei’s dorky new haircut.” He put his coffee to his lips and blew the steam at the screen.

“Haruka-senpai!” Rei’s mouth dropped open and he self-consciously slapped his hands over his ears. “Is-Is it really that bad?” 

“No.” Haru granted Rei a gentle smile. “It looks good.” He wasn’t lying, either. Though it was much shorter, cut to above his ears and blue locks trimmed to spikes, it had a mature look to it that made Rei appear older. Rei’s eyes seemed to glow at his compliment. 

“Thank you, Haruka-sempai!” Glad to see him happy, Haru took a sip of his drink.

“Ahh, Rei-chan..!” Nagisa whined, draping over the others shoulder. “You never look that happy when I compliment you!”

“And when exactly would that be, Nagisa-kun?” Rei asked pointedly, crossing his arms. “All you’ve done since I got this haircut was laugh at me!” 

“Well…”

“You were the one who told me that I should get it done!” Nagisa’s voice grew small, pressing his pointer fingers together. Rei huffed out his breath and looked to the side, which Haru was pretty sure Rei adopted from himself. He was kind of proud, to be honest. 

“Because I thought you would look cute...” Nagisa paused as a blush started to form across his face. “And you do Rei-chan!” standing behind him now, he leaned over and pressed Rei’s cheeks between his palms before standing on his tippy toes and putting them nose-to-nose. “You look very cute and adorable and handsome and very very beautiful so please don’t be mad at meeeeee!” Rei’s face was a deep maroon. Haru continued to slurp at his beverage. 

“D-don’t be ridiculous...” he stammered. Nagisa replied with a grin and a light kiss before doing some kind of tumble roll over Rei’s shoulders and into his lap, landing with a thump that rocked the screen. Rei’s eye twitched- it was his laptop after all- but said nothing against it, instead wrapping his arms around Nagisa.

“So Haru-chan!” called Nagisa, to which Haru didn’t even bother to act like he hadn’t seen anything. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to this kind of behavior. Not when Nagisa and Rei had been dating for over three months now. It hadn’t come as much as a surprise, really, when they had told himself and Makoto about the news. They had seen it coming for a long time. The fact that it had been Rei to confess, however, had been a nice plot twist they hadn’t expected. Of course, he won the bet on the when and that was what really mattered. While Rin owed him a trip to the pool, Makoto was too much of a nice guy and had decided that betting on their friends relationship was _indecent_ or something.  
“Where the heck is Mako-chan?! It’s Iwatobi date night! He is supposed to be here! I already set up the movie and everything!”

“He’ll be late.” Haru replied, setting his mug down to stretch. “We’re supposed to start without him.”

“What, why!?” Nagisa pouted, waving Rei’s hand back and forth. “What’s more important than this!?” 

“He’s with his girlfriend.” It was totally silent for nearly 30 seconds, Haru just sitting quietly while Nagisa and Rei stared back at him with their jaws slowly falling down to big round ‘O’s. Then comprehension dawned on them both and suddenly they were trying to press their faces as close to the camera as possible as if they could somehow squeeze through it and be where Haru was. 

“Makoto-sempai has a _girlfriend_!?” 

“Mako-chan is dating someone!? Since when!? How!? Who!? What about-“ and then Nagisa stopped, exchanging a look with Rei. Of course, Haru was coming to the realization that maybe he wasn’t the person who should have shared this information with them. He probably should have said Makoto was with his geography group. Which, really, he was. Hiromi just happened to be part of it. Makoto did say they had a class together. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything…”

“No, Haru-chan you should have told us SOONER! Forget the movie-“ the camera shook as Nagisa picked up the laptop and started pacing around the room, his pink eyes ablaze. “Tell us everything!” 

“Nagisa-kun, if you drop my new laptop I swear to god-“ Nagisa shushed Rei with a palm to his lips. 

“Not now, Rei-chan, mommy and daddy are talking.” Rei looked confounded. Haru was trying to think of exactly when he and Nagisa had conceived Rei. “Now come on Haru-Chan, spill!” The laptop was clattered onto the coffee table, an exasperated whine coming from Rei in response. Nagisa slammed his hands in front of it, attempting to look intimidating. Haru was pretty sure that was impossible. 

“There’s nothing to tell.” Haru finally said after a moment. Nagisa waited for him to continue. Haru didn’t. 

“Haru-chan, do you NOT know the meaning of gossip? Give me moreeee.”

“No.” was Haru’s curt reply. “Its Makoto’s private life.” And quite honestly, even if he felt comfortable sharing such private information, he really didn’t want to talk about it, especially when just the thought about it messed with his body. 

“Haru-channnnnnnn!” Nagisa whined. “Pleaseeeeee~?” 

“If you want to know, ask him yourself when he gets here.” Was his final reply, pulling away from the desk and taking his empty coffee mug to the kitchen sink.  
“But we want to hear it from youuuu!” even across the room Nagisa’s voice could be heard like he was right there.

“Why does it even matter, Nagisa?” Haru tried not to glare too hard as he dug into the fridge to pull out a bottle of water. He unscrewed the lid and drank nearly half of it before he returned back to the desk chair.

“Because Makoto will be biased, and we want to know the truth!” he nodded, and Rei nodded right along with him. 

“It’d be best to hear it from an outside source.” Rei said practically, and Haru guessed he could see their point. 

“If I tell you, will you two finally drop it?” they nodded enthusiastically. Haru sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead. Getting up at 5 this morning had been a bad idea. “She’s… nice. And pretty. In track. Likes dogs.” Trying to describe her now, Haru realized that it was really hard. It wasn’t that he hadn’t met her to know anything, because that was a lie. He had met Hiromi a handful of times now, sometimes when he was with Makoto and sometimes in switched roles. She and Makoto had been dating for three weeks now, ever since (and haru really wasn’t sure who popped the question but he felt like it had been Makoto) they got back from their first date, which according to the excited orca on the phone that night had gone extremely well. Because of this, it was harder and harder to find Makoto without this girl. 

What bothered Haru the most, however, was how nice Hiromi was to him, and how much her kindness kept pissing him off. The girl always tried to acknowledge him and get him to talk, whereas Haru never responded in sentences longer then they needed to be. Too much time in Hiromi presence drove him mad and made him want to jump into the nearest water source just to escape from her. 

Haru knew he was being rude. This girl, who did nothing to him and was now an important person to Makoto, didn’t disserve his scorn. But he couldn’t help it. She made the blood under his skin burn hot, yet turned his skin to cold ice. It was driving him crazy. There was nothing he rather do then push this girl out of his life forever. 

Haru knew he hated her, and the guilt was piling on top of him like bricks. She was Makoto’s girlfriend. Thinking such things was not his right. He should at least give her a chance, let her prove her worth or something like that. But instead, he found himself wishing she would break up with him. It made him feel twice as guilty. He was wanting to sacrificing his best friend’s happiness for something he didn’t even disserve to have a say in, and it was an awful thing of him to even hope for. But he did. Everyday. Haru was sure he was the scum of earth. 

“Where did they meet? How did this, like, even become a thing?” Nagias asked, laying his head on his arm as if he were some dog. 

“School. They have a Geography class together.” Haru started pulling off the wrapper on the water bottle. “I guess they got along really well and she ended up confessing to him. They went on a date and it went alright so Makoto asked her out.” 

“Makoto-sempai did?” Rei sounded befuddled, exchanging yet another glance with Nagisa. Haru was too busy tearing the wrapper into halves now to notice.

“Y-yeah.” Haru paused for a minute so he could clear his throat. “I am assuming so, at least.” He looked up back at the screen, pink and purple staring at him intensely. “He was pretty excited on the phone.” It was silent except for the buzz from his computer and Haru hated it. Never had he wished for Nagisa’s loud mouth more than now. 

“And are you… okay with that?” Nagisa’s question caught Haru off guard and several torn scraps fluttered from his hand. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Haru asked quietly. The look the two were giving unnerved him, and he found himself averting his eyes to the wall. His heart was suddenly pounding dramatically. He was convinced his body was becoming broken. He didn’t understand this. He didn’t understand this at all. Why were Nagisa and Rei looking at him like that? Why could he sense pity? 

“uh- no reason!” Nagisa waved his hands in the air, making the limbs into an ‘X’. “We just thought that, uh-“ 

“You might be feeling a little lonely.” Rei finished for him. “Makoto-sempai must be so busy already and now with a girlfriend too…” Rei drowned off. Haru could see where it was headed without the actual words. Makoto would have less time with him. 

“It’s fine.” Haru finally had enough sense to throw the mess he made into the garbage so it would stop sticking to his sweaty palms. “I’m fine.” 

“But Haru-chan-“

“Nagisa. Rei.” Haru looked at them sternly. It was a look that said this subject ends now. They both looked away like he had just kicked them. Haru sighed, rummaging his hand through his hair. “I appreciate it, though. Your concern. I know you mean well. Thanks.” Nagisa melted like butter as did the heavy atmosphere in the room, though his declaration of love for Haru sounded on deaf ears when Haru’s phone vibrated with a message. His lip turned up just a crack as he read it. 

 

_Got done early so on my way! About 10 minutes! :)_

 

“Makoto’s on his way.” He informed the other two, getting up and stretching. His back cracked soothingly. 

“Yahoo!” Nagisa cheered, pounding a fist to the air. “I’ll get the movie up and going!”

“It’s not a scary one, right Nagisa-kun?” Rei asked nervously. 

“I’m not dealing with that.” Haru said seriously, giving Nagisa the look. He had had to deal with fradey-cat Makoto hours after any scary movie they ever watched, and while he wasn’t going to scold makoto for fears he couldn’t help, his neck sure did appreciate time off once and a while from nearly being strangled to death by an orca unaware of his own strength. 

“You two are so boring.” Nagisa puffed out his cheeks. “But no, Rei-chan it’s not! I went with a spy movie this time!” Nagisa held his thumb and pointer finger up into a makeshift gun and aimed it right at Rei. “Bang, you’re dead!” Rei looked rather unamused. 

Haru just grunted his approval, abandoning the computer screen to head towards his bedroom. Because Iwatobi date nights always tended to take them into the late morning, they had decided that it was best to have the guest just spend the night. That being said, while Makoto had a big enough bed to hold them both, Haru did not. They had figured that out on the hard way when Makoto had rolled off the bed in his sleep, taking all the blankets with him and leaving Haru without one. Makoto woke up with a sore back. Haru had a cold for a week. Now they just slept in the living room on top of a heap of blankets. It was actually quite comfy. More roomy too. 

With the blankets from his bed and two extra from the closet, Haru returned to the living room to find Nagisa and Rei smothering each other with pillows. He stared for probably ten seconds before he just shrugged and started to lay out the blankets for him and Makoto to sleep on. If they both ended up passing out then at least he could go to bed earlier. It was a win, really. 

On his second trip to his room he changed into his pajamas, blue polka doted pants with a black sweatshirt (mostly because though he got cold easily, Makoto was a furnace so he was more than likely to take it off sometime through the night anyways), and grabbed his pillow and an extra. This time when he returned, Nagisa and Rei seemed to have abandoned their pillows and went straight to a tickling fight. Rei was winning, using his larger body to pin his blonde boyfriend with no sign of mercy. Haru had to wonder how they could be so full of energy. He was ready to crash. Of course, this caused him to pause and reevaluate his life choices because when the hell did he become such an old man? He blamed graduating. Haru dropped the pillows with a grunt. 

“Rei-chan, Rei-chan stop I can’t breathe!” Nagisa was begging, kicking his legs. “Haru-chan help!”

“No. Don’t. Stop Rei.” Haru deadpanned, smoothing out some of the folds in the blanket. “Let him go.”

“Haruuuuu-channnnnnnn!” Rei’s ridiculous laugh was almost overpowering Nagisa’s, obviously the power going straight to his head. Haru really couldn’t blame him. Not when he was dating a guy like Nagisa. 

“You started it, Nagisa-kun! Now reap what you sow!” If he hadn’t been missing the two dorks, Haru probably would have been irritated by all the noise they were creating and had pressed mute by now. But the truth was he missed their rambunctious behavior and goofy nature. He just couldn’t quite get signs of irritation to form on his face. Because Tokyo didn’t have this. Tokyo didn’t have Rei and Nagisa. It only had Makoto. 

When Rei finally stopped torturing Nagisa, they were both left there panting for breath. Rei leaned on his elbow for support. Nagisa just laid there, looking like he had just been shot or something. When he finally did move, he stuck up a single finger to the air. 

“I’ll get you back for that, Rei-chan.” It sounded a lot less threatening when half his voice was hoarse from laughing. “I swear this to you.” Still, when Nagisa made a promise he meant it. Rei was in for a rough night. Poor guy. Haru would pray for him. 

A nock at Haru’s door stood as a distraction from Nagisa’s looming threat, however, and he rose from his position to go and answer it. As usual, when he pulled the door open he was met with brilliant green and a bright smile. 

“Hey, Haru!” Makoto panted, giving an enthusiastic wave along with his greeting. Over his shoulder hung a dufflebag, which no doubt held his things for the night. 

“Did you run here?” Haru’s eyes widened at him, stepping aside so Makoto could come in. The brunette itched his nose while Haru shut the door. 

“I was excited!” he admitted, setting his dufflebag on the floor and taking off his shoes. “We haven’t done this for a couple of weeks!” 

“Mako-chan! Notice us!” Nagias seemed to have already gained back his energy, waving theatrically across the screen to get his attention. “Makkooo-Channn!” Makoto beamed in the direction of the computer, scampering like a puppy to its screen. 

“Nagisa! Rei!” he titled his head to the left with a warm smile. “It’s been a while!” 

“Mako-channn!”

“Makoto-sempai!” They were all grinning like idiots and Haru couldn’t help but join them with a soft smile of his own, making his own way to the computer. “We’ve missed you!”  
“Mm!” Makoto nodded in agreement. “I’ve missed you both too.” Nagisa pouted at the screen. 

“You’re way too busy, Mako-chan! We barely get to talk anymore! And Haru-chan says you have a girlfriend now too!” The hair on his arms instantly bristled, and Haru instinctively looked away before he could feel Makoto’s eyes on him. And oh boy did he feel that gaze.

“Sorry. It slipped.” Haru mumbled. Did he always have that water stain on ceiling? 

“I, uh, y-yeah…!” Makoto stammered, and Haru could feel the embarrassment rolling off him without even looking at his direction. Would it kill Nagisa to have any sense of tact? This was obviously not the first conversation the brunette wanted to have with them. Haru was inclined to agree. “I do...” At least Rei seemed to understand where his boyfriend went wrong. 

“Haruka-sempai says she was in track?” God, there were just so many damn stains. He really should get some cleaner for them. Hopefully the landlord was aware of it. Like hell he was going to be held responsible. 

“Y-yeah.” Makoto cleared his throat, his blush increasing with every second. “Hiromi-chan is a long-distance runner.” 

“So her name is Hiromi-chan!” Nagisa pointed dramatically, as if he just figured out some top secret. 

“Sounds like a very lovely name.” Rei nodded politely. Nagisa gave a thumbs up in approval. 

“And here I was going to call her that prettygirlMakotometinGeography-chan!”

“How much did you tell them!?” Makoto rounded on Haru, who was taking a step back because god damn if he ever tells Nagisa anything ever again. 

“I’m going to make some mackerel…“ 

“It’s ELEVEN!” Makoto grabbed Haru by the wrist to stop him. Haru had never seen Makoto so frazzled before, not even when he was being yanked back from trying to swim in a fish tank their 2nd year cause apparently that wasn’t allowed. The bright red of his cheeks, the sudden disarray of his hair. It made his heart pound savagely. The hand around his wrist was warm, way way too warm. 

“Calm down, Mako-chan.” Nagisa finally said with a laugh, which caused both of them to look over at the screen. “We’re just poking fun.” He gave one of his special, im totally serious and not fucking with you for once, smiles. “She sounds nice. Rei-chan and I are happy for you.” _Happy for you_. Something caught in his throat and Haru had to swallow it down with force. 

“Thanks, guys.” Makoto smiled, calming down a bit. He gently released Haru, the heat from his palms tingling away slowly. “I’m sure you guys would like her.” Nagisa, however, waved this remark away like it was unimportant. 

“More importantly, Mako-chan. Do you have a picture? We have to know what she looks like!” apparently that face was just meant to be red tonight.  
“I uh, yeah. I’ll show you.” It was at this point as Makoto dug into his pocket that Haru really did head to the kitchen to make some mackerel. He tried to use the sizzle of the pan to tone out all the information he already knew. But no matter how hard he tried, he _couldn’t_ tone his voice out because Makoto’s voice was the only voice he couldn’t tone out.

So he just listened as Makoto told them how pretty and cute and smart and athletic and amazing and funny she was. How every time she sneezed her nose crinkled in such a perfect way and that since she was tall she was the perfect height for him and their hands fit together like broken puzzle pieces which was nice because he always thought his hand was way too big for things like that. She was his first date, first girlfriend, first kiss, first everything. He was having fun. He was happy. He was making Haru want to throw the frying pan at his head because something wasn’t right. Something had to be wrong with the way he felt inside. 

Haru eventually rejoined them, but only after all talk of Hiromi had long since passed and Makoto was changed into his own pajamas, green polka-dot bottoms, a t-shirt, and glasses making up the ensemble. The matching PJs was Nagisa’s idea of course, the two on the other side sporting pink and purple respectively. It was supposed to strengthen their bond over the distance or something, though Haru thought it just made them look like a bunch of dorks. 

“So you did end up making some…” Makoto sighed, chuckling in the end as Haru sat down beside him. Instead of on the desk, the laptop was now parked in front of them on the floor. 

“Want one?” Haru offered, picking up a piece with his chopsticks and holding it out for him. Part of him thought Makoto would refuse, and it looked like he would for a moment, but then he opened his mouth up with an ‘ah’ noise and Haru gently placed the cooked fish inside. He waited for Makoto to chew for a moment, taking in with satisfaction that yes, his cooking could still make Makoto’s eyes light up, before he took a bite for himself. 

“No Fair, I want to be fed Haru-Chan’s cooking too!” Nagisa whined, pulling at Rei’s cheeks from his lap. “Rei-chan, go make me something.” 

“No! We already bought popcorn.” 

“Oh yeah I forgot!” Nagisa’s eye lit up and he crawled on all fours and out of sight of the camera. There was enough time for Rei to groan into his palm before Nagisa returned, seating himself squarely in Rei’s lap like before. The only difference now was that sitting between Nagisa’s legs was a large tub of popped popcorn. It had to at least be a foot and a half tall and saturated in butter from the way it looked on the screen. 

“That looks so unhealthy, Nagisa.” Makoto cringed, wondering for the millionth time how Nagisa never seemed to get any bigger despite how much junk food he ate. 

“Uh, duh Mako-Chan, that’s the point.” Nagisa unscrewed the lid happily and grabbed a couple pieces. “It’s good for the soul!” 

“Yeah, when you’re dead ten years earlier because of heart failure.” a piece of popcorn hit Rei in the glasses. 

“That was dark, Rei-Chan.” 

“Just start the movie, Nagisa-kun.” 

“Mworkay!” It was a face full of popcorn that Nagisa answered with, and at the site of his greasy fingers Rei seemed to think better of it and grabbed his wrist.

“Never mind I can do it…” to which Nagisa just shrugged and leaned back into Rei’s chest as he fumbled with the computer. As the screen in front of them changed to Rei and Nagisa’s, Makoto turned to Haru with a worried look. 

“It’s not a scary one, right?” Haru shook his head, stifling his first yawn of the night. 

“No. Nagisa said it was a spy movie.” Makoto looked relieved. 

“Thank god… I still can’t forget that last one…”

“Makoto it was Lord of the Rings…”

“That spider was huge, okay!” Though they couldn’t see them, Nagisa’s snickering could be heard through the screen. “Shut up, Nagisa!” Really, it was their own fault in letting Nagisa pick the movies in the first place. But Haru didn’t particularly care, Rei had bad movie taste, and everything Makoto tended to pick was a kid’s movie. 

As the screen in front of them turned black with the movies intro, Haru decided it was a good time to discard his now empty plate in the sink and shut off all the lights. Halfway back he decided against it, however, and switched a small lamp in the corner on. The small light added an ambiance he quite liked. Haru reseated himself with a content smile, sitting a bit closer to Makoto and nudging the laptop over with his toe so it was more center between them. 

The movie was, as Haru had predicted, not one that would gain his undivided attention. In fact, as the action started to peak he became instead more focused with the time on the clock, telling him over and over that, yes, he had been up for nearly 19 hours now and damn was he tired. He was becoming more aware of it now that he had actually allowed himself time to sit down and relax. Makoto seemed to be realizing it too, what with Haru yawning every five minutes.

“Tired?” he whispered, quiet enough so that he wouldn’t disturb the movie playing. 

“Mm.” Haru hadn’t really been aware of it, but sometime in the past hour he had learned his body into Makoto for some support to keep it from crumpling to the floor. “Up since 5…” he mumbled. Makoto’s shoulder was a perfect height for a pillow and it took very little effort for Haru to let his head fall, its comfort giving his neck instant relief. It was firm, but warm and soft and so very comfortable. 

“You can go to bed, if you’d like.” Makoto said gently. Haru shook his head just a smidge, watching some spy stab a guy before closing his eyes. 

“No. Comfy.” Haru nuzzled his nose into the fabric, earning a smile from Makoto as a result.

“Okay.” _Warm_. It was the only single thought Haru had as he felt Makoto lightly pat his head affectionately, their sides naturally forming and accepting one another as his body started to relax completely. The warmth wasn’t limited to the outside, but bloomed inside him too, drizzling like liquid butter and dripping into every nook and cranny of his being. It was as comforting as water felt, and just as accepting. Haru wanted to swim in the feeling, become one with it. He would take all that it offered without resistance. It was perfect and without fault. This Haru was sure of. Makoto’s warmth. 

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

It was mere minutes before Haru was out cold, his mouth lightly opening and breathing soundly as his cheek accepted the bulge of Makoto’s shoulder without complaint. Makoto had always known that Haru had long, thick lashes, but in the position he sat in now he could admire them at their fullest. They were delicate, like most of his features, and had a way of masking the brilliant blue of his eyes in a perfect array of black that made them piercing. Even now as they lay still Makoto could still picture the light flutter they will make when Haru wakes, how they will dance across his soft skin in a graceful way, just like the way Haru always moves.

Makoto knows he is right because he has seen it so many times. Just like he knows that when Haru wakes, he will unknowingly use the edge of his palm to wipe the sleep out of his eyes. How he knows that no matter which way he sleeps Haru is always guaranteed to wake up with disheveled hair sticking out in an aggressive fashion. And how he always knows that Haru will sleep exactly like a cat, his body curled up to his nose and blankets so deeply entwined around him like his own private sanctuary from the world. Makoto sees it all because there isn’t a moment that he doesn’t see Haru. There hasn’t been a single moment in his life that he has ever thought Haru wasn’t worth his time.

Not when he was so beautiful and perfect and pure.

Not when he loved him. 

Any interest in the film evaporated instantly, and Makoto found his eyes trained on Haru and taking in all of him like updating his memory. It had been but a week of separation, but without Haru at his side it felt like an eternity. He took in his smooth cheeks and caressing nose and relaxed eyebrows and gentle breathing and soft hair and delicate lips and allowed his heart to thump like it always did when his gaze fell upon his best friend. Right now he didn’t have to hide how his eyes flooded with longing of what never could be. He could freely soak up how happy he felt that he had Haru laying on him, allowing himself to become vulnerable in the presence of Makoto. The contact was sparkling and maximized his heart with a blazing warmth so particular to Haru and Haru alone that he could immediately tell the difference between anybody else. Nobody could do it like Haru could. 

“Oi, Mako-Chan!” so wrapped up on his thoughts, Makoto jumped at the sound of Nagisa’s voice. The motion sent Makoto swearing under his breath and seconds later Haru was tumbling down from his shoulder, sliding down his chest, and eventually landing in his lap. Makoto sat there frozen, barely even allowing himself to breathe and utterly ignored giving Nagisa any type of response. Haru began shifting, curling his legs in tighter and nestling his face into Makoto’s thigh before letting his arms stretch out and suddenly becoming completely still. Makoto breathed. Nagisa whined his name again. 

“What!?” he snapped, glaring at the screen. He realized vaguely that there was some ending monologue going on. 

“Oh, it’s not frozen.” Nagisa chirped happily. If he heard Makoto’s agitated tone he didn’t show it. “You guys got really quiet so I wasn’t sure.” 

“No, we’re here.” Makoto yawned, subconsciously laying his hand down on Haru’s back. When he realized it he immediately withdrew, only to find himself replacing it with a second thought. It felt nice, even if it was just sitting there. “Mostly.” A bomb went off on the screen and the credits then flashed. 

“Whatttttt?” Nagisa protested. “Now I have to wait to see what happens!” Makoto could hear thumping that must have been Nagisa pounding his feet on the ground. His assumption was proven correct when the screen minimized and Rei put the camera back to the way it started, Nagisa laying on the floor staring at the ceiling in what was probably horror. Makoto couldn’t help but wonder why there was popcorn all over the floor. He decided it might be best not to ask. 

“That was an interesting movie, Nagisa.” It wasn’t exactly a great compliment to the choice, though to be fair Makoto had paid attention to about ¾ of it. “Lots of fire and stuff.” 

“I know wasn’t it- Is Haru-Chan asleep!?” Nagisa shouted, leaning forward to adjust the screen, his face showing a mixture of adoration and distrust. 

“Nagisa-kun, keep your voice down!” shushed Rei, pulling at Nagisa’s cheek while Makoto put a finger to his lips. “Haruka-sempai is sleeping!” The way he said it, it made it sound like Nagisa had kicked a puppy or something. Nagisa’s reaction was akin to just such a situation. 

“Sorry!” he said much more softly. “That’s no fair, though, Haru-chan… We barely got to spend any time together!” 

“Haru has had a busy schedule this week. It’s best if we let him sleep.” Makoto reasoned, smiling sympathetically towards Nagisa. He understood the feeling. 

“Yeah…” Still, Nagisa didn’t look too happy about it, watching Haru sleeping peacefully on Makoto’s lap before glancing at Rei. He grabbed his hand. “Hey, Mako-Chan?”

“Hmm?” he noticed a couple of hairs that had fallen into Haru’s eyes and found himself reaching over to brush them away with a light touch. 

“Are you really okay with how things are?” The question snapped his head up in one swift movement, eyes now trained on Nagisa’s. He didn’t ask for any elaboration because he understood the question without it. 

“I have to be, don’t I?” he asked quietly. “There’s nothing else I can do.”

“But I’m sure Ha-“ Makoto shook his head, finding comfort in brushing Haru’s hair back with his fingertips, soft and like solidized water in its most tranquilized state. 

“I told you before- all three of you.” He looked at Rei now too. “I don’t want to ruin what I have with Haru over this. I cherish his friendship too much for me to make another mistake.”

“I don’t think it’s a mistake though!” Nagisa pushed. “Mako-chan, you love Haru-chan more than anything!” 

“Yeah. I do.” He admitted with a sad smile, not even trying to lie.

“Then why a girlfriend, Makoto-sempai?” Rei asked softly, trying to mask that he was just as upset over this as Nagisa was. 

“Because I can’t do this anymore. It’s too much. I can’t continue on pretending that I don’t love him when I do, and it’s not fair of me to expect Haru to feel the same way as me when it’s been made clear that he doesn’t. But it’s also not fair for me to have to devote myself to something that will never happen. I want what you two and Rin have. I want a relationship. Someone to kiss and hold and love forever. Someone who will make all the bad things go away when life gets tough. I deserve that, don’t I? Haru can’t give me that, no matter how much I wish he could. But Hiromi-Chan might be able to. Other girls might be able to. 

“So I have to move on, because otherwise I will never be able to get over him and continue on with my life. If I don’t at least try to change… How would I be able to forgive myself?” Makoto paused, looking down at Haru. “I don’t think Haru would forgive me either.” 

“Mako-chan, he loves you-“

“But not in the way I love him.” Makoto finished for him. “And nothing I will ever do will change that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh I'm blushing at all the comments and kudos i've received so far! Thank you everybody for your support!! \\(^.^\\) It made me so happy I decided to update a day early! This one was the longest chapter yet, filled up with some wonderful fluff and angst (because what goes together better than that??) 
> 
> Thanks again so much! Feedback always reminds me why I love writing so much! I hope i can continue to offer works worth reading! 
> 
> I'll see you all at chapter 4!  
> May the Makoharu be with you.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Wednesday, another chapter! Hope you all enjoy!  
> Also, to all you precious babies hurting from the angst... I'm sorry. 
> 
>  
> 
> "We'll bask in the light that makes us stronger, always here."  
> -Haruka and Makoto in their duet "Always Here"

There were many things Haru had in mind to do over his short summer break. Swimming, of course, filled up most of it, though doing absolutely nothing peaked his interest too. He had even tampered with a couple of recipes Mrs. Tachibana had sent him to try, saying that the twins loved them and she figured he and Makoto would adore them too. As usual, the woman was right. 

Shopping with Hiromi, however, did not make the cut. He would have much rather been basking in the sunlit water than on the street with all the other temporarily free college students deciding their wallets were a bit too heavy. So how he ended up spending his limited time accompanying her and Makoto in the shopping district, Haru had no freaking idea. He felt like blaming Makoto. In all honesty, he was probably right. 

It wasn’t like the orca was the person who had asked him to tag along on the trip; Hiromi had done that herself. But Haru was pretty damn sure that Makoto was the one who had mentioned the idea and had thrown him under the bus as a result. Five minutes into the first store, however, and Haru couldn’t even blame him. Shopping with Hiromi was maddening. 

She was the ultra-shopper, everything catching her eye the moment she walked into the store. Sale or not, she was thumbing through the racks like a vendetta, tongue out and eyes piercing while looking for something she’d like. And when she did like something, she tried on five versions of it because, as she said, “you never know which one is the best fit if you don’t try them all”. Often she would end up getting more than one. Haru thought that that was ridiculous and told her so. Makoto then brought up his many swimsuits, which Haru didn’t understand how that was even related because they all fit him different, goddammit. It most definitely was not the same. Makoto assured him it was. 

The worst part, however, was that not only did Hiromi take forever to find things for herself, she also insisted that Makoto and Haru try things on as well. Haru found himself forced into shirts of all kinds (he blatantly refused to wear the neon with holes because the color and the practicality of it was as much as damaging to his retinas as it was to his dignity), into skinny jeans that were so tight Makoto had to actually come in and help him get them off, and to his surprise, into an outfit he ended up liking and buying because even he had to admit Hiromi was right on how great his ass looked in it. 

By the time lunch rolled around, he was exhausted and ready to take a nap. As Hiromi and Makoto came back to their table outside a small café, he was silently praying to the water gods that they were done with this little adventure of theirs. Ah. Water. Maybe he would hit the pool later instead of a nap. 

“Here you are, Haru.” Makoto said, handing Haru his sandwich and a bottle of water. “Sorry it took so long, there was a long wait inside.” Haru just shrugged, taking it with a thanks as they both sat on the other side of him, shoulders gently touching. 

“I’ve known you for over a month now, Haruka-kun, and I still have never seen you drink anything but water.” Hiromi noted with a smile, watching Haru unscrew the lid before touching anything else. 

“I like water.” Was all he said, pressing the rim to his lips. She laughed like he had said something funny, biting into her fry thoughtfully. 

“Mhm. Mako-kun has told me all about the misadventures of you and pool-chan.” Haru cast a look at Makoto. If he wasn’t going to make Makoto pay for today before, he certainly was now. “Ah- don’t be upset, Haruka-kun! You’re Mako-kuns favorite subject, so I’ve learned a couple of things.” She cast a caring look at her boyfriend whose ears were shading red. “For instance, I’ve heard you’re a pretty good cook.” 

“I guess.” Haru began unwrapping his sandwich, sulking slightly over how it was chicken and not mackerel. 

“I wish I could cook.” She pouted. “All I manage to do is burn things. One time my dad and I actually had to pull out the fire extinguisher on some grilled cheese. I’m rather jealous!” she was beaming now, like she was proud of him for doing something she couldn’t, and Haru felt the urge to flick a fry at her. He would have if a, he wanted to be immature, and b, he had any fries to flick. Makoto had some, but Haru was pretty sure he would be against him punting a fried potato at his girlfriend’s face.

“It’s not that hard. It just takes practice.” He then eyed Makoto, remembering that there was always an exemption. “Except for Makoto. It’s a lost cause for him.” 

“Haru!” Makoto pouted while Hiromi laughed. 

“I had to throw away three pans because of you.” 

“How was I supposed to know that it would stick to the bottom!?” 

“Everybody does. You always spray it first before putting it on the burner. Even your siblings know.” 

“I-“

“Mako-kun, even I know that…” Hiromi frowned. Makoto’s cheeks were big enough to be balloons from his pout. Red enough too. Hiromi ended up patting the left side, puffing the air out and deflating it as she tried to comfort him. “Don’t worry, maybe chef Haruka-kun can teach us together! With me there, I’m sure you’ll do better!” Makoto smiled at that. 

“I can try!” Haru really didn’t know how her presence could possibly make Makoto a better cook, since he had tried countless times to fix the problem already, but he decided that holding his tongue would probably be a better choice. He took another drink of water and cast his eyes to the side when Hiromi gave Makoto a kiss on the cheek. 

“Mm, Mako-kun, did you find out about Saturday?” The way Makoto answered with an “uhm” made Haru look back at them. He couldn’t help but notice the shifty glance in those green eyes, uncertainly lining up with his own curiously vivid blue. 

“You forgot to ask him, didn’t you?” Hiromi sighed, putting her forehead into her palm. She gave a light flick to Makoto’s ear as if to scold him. “Haruka-kun, what are you doing this weekend?” It took all of two seconds for him to come up with a big flat nothing, but decided that it would probably look better if he pretended to be thinking about it. Even then, he didn’t report his findings. Probably best to know why she was asking first. Like hell he was going shopping again. 

“Why?”

“Okay, now hear me out, Haruka-kun, because I know you and you are a party pooper and you won’t want to go but you really should! It will be so much fun!” Haru looked at her blankly, wondering in what universe she could possibly say that she knew him well enough to decide his personality. Hiromi looped her arms around Makoto’s and smiled at him.

“So, Mako-Kun and I are going out dancing and we really want you to come with. I have this girlfriend- her name is Suzuki, but everybody calls her Zuki- and she’s single and really cute and I’ve told her a little about you and she would love to meet you! Isn’t that great!? It would be like a double date with best friends!” Haru didn’t even skip a beat.

“No.” Perhaps he wasn’t giving Hiromi enough credit on how well she knew him because his reply didn’t even seem to faze her. On the contrary, she was quick to respond just as blunt. 

“I’ll take you to the pool.” Like a reflex his eyes became brighter at the mere mention of it. Still, he forced himself to hold his ground. Two years ago she would have had him. But not this time. This time he was prepared.

“I already have a pass.” More than one, actually, but he decided not to add that factor. 

“Come on, Haruka-kun!” she groaned, pulling at her ponytail. He counted her frustration as a win for him. “It will be a great way to get out there and enjoy yourself!” 

“Now, now Hiromi-Chan,” Makoto intervened, smiling kindly down at her. “If Haru doesn’t want to-“

“You baby him too much, Mako-kun!” Hiromi interrupted, pressing fingers to his lips. “He needs to get out of the water and explore dry land. Besides, you said it would be fun if Haruka-kun came with too!” A splash of guilt crossed Makoto’s face and Haru narrowed his eyes at him. 

He was surprised that Makoto was up for this in the first place. He wasn’t exactly built to dance fluidly across a dance floor. Raw power was more of his forte, his back and arms much more of his essence than his hips. The giant would probably be clumsy in his moves, stepping on Hiromi and other poor souls who got a bit too close to those dangerous feet of his.

Haru knew all too well what he was capable of because he had danced with Makoto before. An overabundance of guys in their gym class had him switch to dancing the girls part, which really he didn’t mind except for the fact that Makoto seemed keen on smashing his feet and ruining his swimming career before it even began. By the end of it he just stood on Makoto’s own feet, deciding beauty wasn’t worth loss of limbs. Rei probably would have been disappointed.

Because of this Haru couldn’t help but wonder why exactly Makoto even wanted to go. It was possible that Makoto had gotten better in the three years since then, but Haru seriously doubted it. So what drove him? He was tempted to say yes just to understand. But he couldn’t do such a thing. Haru may be inexperienced, but he was not ignorant. He knew what happened at dance clubs. There would kissing and touching and grinding of bodies that didn’t know the meaning of personal space while music pounded through the room and the drunks of the night made up the dance floor. And right in the middle would be Makoto with Hiromi wrapped around him like a snake, playing with the fluff of his hair, kissing at beautiful smiles, brushing at taunt arm muscles. They would only have eyes for each other. Haru would be just a member in the crowd, and wanting him to be there would not change that. He would much rather be at home sitting in his tub then be forced to watch Hiromi stick her tongue down his best friend’s throat. In just a month he had seen enough of that to last his lifetime. 

“I may have said something like that.” Makoto laughed hesitantly, scratching at his cheek. “But I would never force you to go, of course!” Hiromi puffed out her cheeks.

“Well I would!” she slammed her palms on the table and leaned forward, eyes intensely staring Haru down. “Come with us! Let loose for once, Haruka-kun. Even if it’s just a little while. Zuki really does want to meet you. When was the last time you got together with another girl? It would be good for you to get out there and meet people!” 

“I’m fine, thanks.” Haru said it in a final tone that sounded ruder than he probably should have allowed, but he couldn’t help it. He was more than done with this conversation in multiple different ways. To exercise his point even further Haru excused himself and grabbed his half-eaten meal to toss it in the trash, heading towards the bathroom afterwards.

Inside, Haru used the coolness of the water to soothe his agitated state, knowing that if he returned like he left he would regret it. He really ought to be nicer to Hiromi. She was probably doing what she thought was kind. And really, how was she supposed to understand him when lately he didn’t even understand himself either? Iwatobi had never made him act up like this. Haru sighed. Tokyo was starting to get beyond ridiculous. If he didn’t sort out his shit soon he was going to go crazy. Maybe then he would stop treating Hiromi as if she was a threat to his very existence. 

To his surprise, when Haru returned, Hiromi was gone and Makoto was left alone sitting at a cleared table. As usual, when Hiromi was gone a sudden pressure around him was released and Haru found himself much more relaxed as he sat back down.

“Where did Hiromi go?” he asked Makoto, looking at her vacant seat. 

“Oh, when you were in the bathroom a friend of hers called and dragged her off.” Makoto smiled at him lightly, though seconds later it dropped. “Haru, look I’m sorry Hiromi-chan sprang that on you. She mentioned it before and I told her you probably wouldn’t be interested but-“

“Makoto, its fine.” Haru interrupted. “It doesn’t bother me. It’s just not my thing.” Makoto nodded, though he still looked guilty. “I didn’t even really think it was your thing.” Haru teased then, letting a small smirk lift his lips. “Do you not remember first year?” Clearly he did the way his face turned red. 

“Well, it was Hiromi-Chan’s idea but I thought it sounded like fun! We never had anything like that back home. Something new to try.” 

“No.” Haru agreed, standing up. “Just make sure you tell her to wear padded shoes.” 

“Harrruuu!” Makoto whined, looking like he had when Haru had insulted his cooking skills. Haru wondered vaguely if it would be weird to deflate his cheeks just like Hiromi had. A part of him wanted to reach over and do it. The other part of him told him he shouldn’t. Instead he watched silently as Makoto followed his example and stood up, both walking in-step as the started down the sidewalk towards the train station. A sudden thought then occurred to him. 

“Makoto, you _do_ know how they dance at clubs, right?” he looked up at the tall brunette, watching him carefully. 

“I, uh, yeah! I do.” Haru could physically see Makoto swallow hard. It sent a shiver throughout his body and he suddenly stopped. 

“Its not the same as school.” The next thing he knew he was grabbing Makoto by the wrist and pushing him up against a wall somewhere to the side. Haru deliberately stepped a foot between Makoto’s legs and pressed their chests as close as he could, pinning his free hand right next to Makoto’s head. His heart was thumping wildly, yet his brain was nothing but calm. “There are no rules, no teachers telling you not to.” His serious eyes looked right into Makoto, tipping himself onto his toes so their faces were a bit more even. Makoto looked as if Haru had just tried to stab him. “She will be up against you like this, grinding her body at every part of yours. The concept of personal body space doesn’t exist there. You know this, right?”

“Yeah.” Makoto breathed out slowly, the warm air sending electricity all over Haru’s body and curling his toes. 

“Are you comfortable with that?” the question was heavy in the air, almost crushing. “Will you be okay?” Makoto was taking forever to reply and with each passing second Haru was becoming painfully aware that maybe this was perhaps the dumbest thing he had ever done. Whatever line that they held between them, Haru was pretty sure he had just crossed it. This he was pretty positive of so when Makoto finally spoke, he couldn’t help but take a sharp intake of breath and widen his eyes. 

“You’re worried about me.” Makoto’s voice was quiet and soothing, like this suddenly wasn’t about Makoto immersing himself into something incredibly different and instead was about comforting Haru. It was so particular to Makoto’s personality that Haru should have figured this would happen. 

“I just don’t want her taking advantage of you.” Was all Haru could say, suddenly feeling embarrassed. The contact between them was rapidly becoming too much and Haru took a step back, allowing Makoto room to breathe as well as letting his own system settle. He was pretty sure he had just fried all of his neurons in one go. 

“Haru-chan really is kind.” Makoto smiled at him with adoration, the power of which was too strong for him and Haru was pushed into looking away. 

“I told you to drop the –chan already…” he mumbled, attempting to give a bristling glare, though he was pretty sure it failed in light of the previous compliment. 

“I’ll be careful. Hiromi-chan won’t let anything happen to me.” Makoto placed a hand on Haru’s shoulder. It wasn’t something Haru had explicitly said, but Makoto understood anyways. It was how their relationship always worked. Some things were just easier to convey through other methods then by words. Haru just hmphed in response. 

“We should get going.” Haru was one who was rarely bothered by anything, and yet standing here was driving a prickling feeling at his skin and he found it both uncomfortable and unnerving and wanted it gone. He allowed Makoto’s hand to slide from his shoulder and he quickly made up a pace back on the sidewalk where other pedestrians were making their way. 

Except now things were awkward, and Haru realized that maybe this was his fault. There wouldn’t be this silence, which usually felt natural yet now felt odd, hanging between them if he hadn’t stopped to shove Makoto up against a wall. It didn’t help that now it’s all his mind was filled with and that he could vaguely still feel the pressure of Makoto’s larger torso against his own and how warm it had been and how it had made his heart beat so dramatically but in a way different then it usually thumped. It was much less panicking and much more driven. It kind of reminded him of how it felt to compete against Rin, except it wasn’t exactly the same. There was something different. He wished he could pinpoint what it was but found himself at a loss. 

A block down Haru became aware that Makoto was watching him. Even without looking to his left he could feel the piercing gaze of emerald on his face and it burned his ears. One more block and it was driving him mad to the point he demanded to know what he was staring at. 

“What is it?” he snapped, eyes darting up at him before back at the road where the lights were showing green. Whatever Makoto had been doing he must have been pretty focused because when he heard Haru’s voice he jumped. “Is there food on my face or something?” 

“O-Oh nothing.” He laughed rubbing the back of his hair, finding interest in the sky up above. “Sorry, just thinking.” 

“Hm.” Haru found himself rolling his eyes, watching the walk light suddenly turn red and stopping accordingly. If Makoto wasn’t going to explain then Haru wasn’t going to push him to. 

It was probably because Makoto’s eyes had re-trained right back on Haru’s once he had looked away that he didn’t see the lights change. He continued on walking, oblivious to the speeding car dashing through the intersection. But Haru did. Haru saw. And it was the third time Makoto Tachibana had ever made his heart stop. 

“Makoto!” Haru was yelling, reaching out and wrapping his arms around Makoto’s middle, pulling him back with as much strength as he could muster. It was abrupt and clumsy and they both teetered back several steps before losing balance and falling backwards onto their butts. The car zoomed by miliseconds later, honking its horn aggressively. 

“Ahh!” Makoto gave a startled cry, his eyes widening at the spot he had been at moments before. His surprise turned into a shaky laugh. “That was close. I nearly became a pancake! Thanks, Haru.” Makoto then frowned because the arms around his stomach did nothing but tighten. “Haru?”

But Haru wasn’t listening. He was too lost in what had just happened. What had almost happened. He could hear the snap of Makoto breaking at the contact of the car, hear the thud as his broken body smeared across the ground. He could see all the blood scattered across the floor, the mangled limbs, the dead, lifeless eyes of what used to be bright green. The way that heart would suddenly just stop, no longer required to bring life to its owner. He wouldn’t even get to see a small montage of everything in life he had enjoyed because his death would have been so sudden, so quick, that he wouldn’t even get to see his family one last time before it was all over. 

Haru had no control over the way his body was shaking, just like he had no control over how terrified he suddenly felt. And he hated it. He hated it because Makoto didn’t get hit, he was fine and safe right there and front of him. Yet, even the almosts were horrifying because they felt so vivid and real in his head. If he lost Makoto, he would lose everything. That thought was enough to cause him to squeeze his eyes shut as anxiety started to creep in. 

“Idiot!” Haru shouted at him, burying his forehead into the small of Makoto’s back. He noticed that his voice cracked but found he didn’t give a shit. “Don’t be so reckless!” 

“Haru…” Makoto seemed to become aware of his tremble then, hooking warm fingers under his hands and squeezing them gently. “Sorry.” 

“Idiot…” Haru said again, his voice much quieter. He hugged his knees tight against Makoto’s sides. “Pay attention…” Makoto was going to give him a heart attack. He was positive, so freaking positive. His heart was not meant to be jumping around like this. 

“Are you okay?” Makoto’s voice was filled with worry and Haru could feel him try to turn around. He squeezed his grip so he would stop.

“Should it really be you asking me that?” He increased the pressure of his forehead against him. “Just… give me a minute.” He let out a shaky sigh. 

“Okay.” Haru burrowed his nose, letting the familiarity of Makoto warmth calm him while the rise and fall of his back helped even out his unsteady breathing. He could feel the tension in Makoto’s shoulders, sensed the will to turn around and probably try to comfort him, but he purposely ignored it because the last thing he wanted was to be fawned over like was Makoto’s nature. This was fine. This was enough. 

They sat there for a while, though for how long Haru wasn’t exactly sure. People walked by and murmurs echoed but he paid them no attention, instead focusing on the light pet Makoto was gracing his fingers with. It was so soft and delicate, like he was some newborn kitten that could only be touched with the lightest of presses. Haru was sure he knew that a tougher pressure would do him no harm, and yet Makoto never switched from circling light caresses onto his thumb. 

How did Makoto do it? How did he manage to always make him feel so warm? He wanted to be left alone to curl in this immense heat, let it wash over him and massage at all that hurt, all that throbbed until he could finally feel nothing but this. Nothing but Makoto. What was the outside world, Tokyo, Hiromi compared to this? 

It was only when the warmth suddenly vanished did Haru become aware that Makoto had been moving, turning around to face Haru with concerned eyes. He grabbed the sides of Haru’s face with warm palms, forcing Haru to look at him. 

“Haru, are you really okay?” Makoto was biting his lip, his brows creased and Haru was sure there had never been an expression on Makoto’s face that he ever wanted to take away so badly. 

“I’m fine.” He said quietly. And he was. He was fine. Because Makoto was here, alive, before him. “Just… “But there were so many things that crossed his mind. _Don’t die. Don’t leave. Don’t let go_. None of them sounded like things he should be saying. Not when he was Haru. Not when he wasn’t Hiromi. “Be more careful next time.” 

“Yeah… Sorry, Haru-chan.” Makoto then leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together and Haru couldn’t even bring himself to tell Makoto to lay off the –Chan. Not when Makoto gave him a new sense of warmth that almost made him want to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So did ya'll see the first episode from the Free! dub yet? I did. I'VE GOT BACKSTROKE FOR DAYS! Ahh.. that line is still killing me. All in all, it was okay. I won't judge it from one episode. No matter how many dudes and bros they throw into it, they won't be able to tame the gay. Not with our swimmers. 
> 
> Well, until Wednesday! Thanks for everyone's continuous support!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I've been working a lot more this week than I expected and haven't had time to work on it. Hopefully the chapters content makes it worth it. 
> 
> "Let's dive into today with all our heart."  
> -Makoto and Haruka in their duet, "Always Here"

Of all the outfits Haru had ever found himself in while sitting on the train, none had ever made him feel as embarrassed as he felt now. This of course was including the several times he had ridden the train in nothing but his swimming suit. Sure it drew attention but it was something he had been comfortable in. The outfit he had on now just made him feel like a fish out of water. It didn’t feel free. It felt uncomfortable. Restricting. 

The dark skinny jeans weren’t really the problem. No, Haru was used to wearing them since they were the only pant type that emphasized his slender legs and didn’t make him feel like he was wearing clown pants. The shirt he wore, a zip-up hoodie with short sleeves that matched the color of his eyes, wasn’t really a bother either. The shoes were the same pair he always wore. His hair was styled its normal way. There was nothing that screamed different. And yet he couldn’t help but pull at his clothes awkwardly, the fabric itching from the inside out. With each passing second he was wishing for the normality of his tub. 

Haru sighed, letting his head fall back as he stared at the ceiling. As for what brought him to this point, haru didn’t even quite understand himself. It had been an impulse mostly to grab his phone in the dead of night and pull up Hiromi’s number. His access to it had been everything short of voluntary, Hiromi snatching his phone right out of his hands and adding it without consent. Well, he guessed now that the action had its uses. 

**‘I’ll go’**. Was all he texted her, finding the action taxing as he hit sent. Haru allowed his phone to drop into the sheets after that, covering his eyes with his forearm so he didn’t have to look at the ceiling anymore. He had no reason he could put into words why he messaged her. He just felt like he had to be there. There were so many things that could go wrong on a night out to a club and he was sure that Makoto would find every single freaking one of them. Just like he did today. He should have seen that stoplight change, he should have he should have he should have-

Haru curled to his side, bringing his legs to his stomach. But as was Makoto’s nature, he was oblivious where it mattered. In the adult world that they now lived in, that was enough to get him killed. He couldn’t count on Hiromi to keep him safe. That’s why he had to go. To make sure Makoto would come back. 

The vibration of his phone startled him and Haru removed himself from his thoughts as he dove into his pocket and pulled it out. The blinking light told him he had a message and he swiped the screen to find one waiting from Makoto. 

 

_Just left from picking up Zuki. We should be there in about 15 minutes_. 

 

Haru lazily formed a reply saying he was almost at the train station. They would be there about 10 minutes before him, something of which Haru was glad for. He was pretty sure if he was the first to arrive he would end up leaving before they even showed. 

An announcement overhead echoed the message he had just sent to Makoto, and as the train slid to a stop a little while later Haru plucked himself off of the bench with an inward groan of melancholy. It wasn’t too late yet, he could always give Makoto a call and say he came down with a sudden migraine. If that wasn’t enough he could add in clammy skin and the urge to vomit. With the amount of apprehension he was feeling it really wasn’t that far off. He could stop this before anything even started. 

Haru began to suck on his inner cheek, feeling a sudden sense of shame. When had he become so cowardly? It was unbecoming. Pathetic even. There was nothing about tonight that should be alarming. It was out of his comfort level for sure, but he would be fine, Haru knew he would be. Because Makoto was there. And Haru knew that as long as Makoto was by his side, he could do it.

Stepping off the train, Haru adjusted the hem of his shirt a bit before heading in the opposite direction of the station. 

The club they, well Hiromi really, had decided on was called “The Nest” and was located in one of the several downtowns of Tokyo, wedged beneath two other buildings of the same business. It was tall and wide, lit up like a Christmas tree in all its bright neon glory. As it was a street filled with bars and clubs, the entire road was littered with all kinds of people. The range was quite miraculous, the tip of the pinnacle being those who believed the brighter the better to those dressed in the blackest of shades like the shadows they emerged from. Of course there were people who dabbled in the middle of the spectrum as well. There were girls in short skirts with lots of cleavage hanging out, and guys with muscle shirts and tight pants that just couldn’t be comfortable. Some people wore costumes. Others were dressed in very little. There were even a fair few who dressed modestly. Haru was surprised to find so many different characters in one place, and he had to admit it made him feel a little bit better about his outfit of choice. 

As he started on the block, Haru didn’t even have to begin searching for Makoto because the moment he made it in near vicinity of the club the brunette was already waving his hand over his head and ushering him over. He was pretty sure Hiromi must have dressed him because never in his life would Makoto be able to put together such a fitting ensemble. Clothed in an elbow-length emerald shirt, dark brown vest, and lightly tinted jeans, the fabric knew exactly where to hug. The vest emphasized his broad chest while the short length of his shirt left his forearms out for exhibit. 

Next to him stood Hiromi, wearing a bright red dress and matching lipstick, chatting away with a girl Haru didn’t recognize. The dress was modest for the most part, the collar hugging her neck and the sleeves to her shoulders. At her middle the hem dipped and hundreds of ruffles bounced out into a diamond shape between her thighs. It was definitely a dress made for dancing. Next to her jet black hair, pulled into a messy bun with framing strands, and ruby red lips, she looked like some exotic beauty pulled out of famous paintings. He figured the girl beside her must be Zuki. 

The most striking part of his supposed date and the first thing he noticed was her hair. It was light pink, almost the color of faded salmon, and sat tied on her neck in a loose braid with little speckles of diamond buried beneath its faint locks. Despite being obviously dyed, it didn’t look necessarily unnatural, the faint ivory of her skin almost making her look like porcelain. This was supported through her outfit, a gray knit sweater hanging off a single shoulder and dark purple skinny jeans drawing little attention in comparison to her hair. Beside each other Hiromi and Zuki were in distinct contrast in their colors and caused eyes to naturally gravitate towards their direction.

“Haru!” even across the mass of people he could still hear Makoto clearly. Relinquishing a curt wave to let him know he did in fact see him, Haru tiptoed around the mass of party-goers, stopping to apologize to a girl in a miniskirt after he accidently stepped on her foot, before making it to their location. 

“Haruka-kun!” Hiromi was on him in seconds, grabbing Haru by the arm and closer to the circle. “You really came!” an overwhelming amount of floral perfume engulfed him and Haru turned his head to the side. 

“I said I would.” was his brisk reply, wishing she would just let go of his arm. He looked up at Makoto, who was smiling a docile ray of sunshine. 

“You did, you did!” she hummed, obviously pleased. “And I won’t let you regret it! Okay, Haruka-kun, I want to introduce you to the lovely Suzuki Anno! Zuki,-“ and she reached across the air to grab her friend by the hand too- “This is Haruka Nanase! ” Taking both of their hands now, Hiromi placed them in each other for a handshake and took a step backwards with a grin. He vaguely noticed that her eyes were the same shade as Makoto’s. 

“Its good to meet you, Nanase-kun!” Zuki took the lead, gripping his hand in abrupt tightness. “I’ve heard a lot about you!” A bit taken aback Haru just nodded. It would have been lying if he said the same thing, since he knew pretty much nothing about her, so he just said, 

“It’s a pleasure.” Haru was in shock of how much of a grip this girl had and so when he finally got his hand back, he found himself quietly flexing his finger muscles as the four of them made towards the entrance of the club.

The one Hiromi had chosen was certainly… well, Haru expected something akin to noisy and troublesome, but he hadn’t actually realized to what scale it would be at. The moment they paid for admittance and the doors were opened, they were deafened by loud, thunderous dubstep that had enough volume to ruffle his hair. 

“It’s so busy tonight!” Hiromi shouted, excited, as she threw her fingers up in a ‘rock on’ sign. 

“Oh, Hiromi, lets go get drinks!” Zuki pushed forward next, latching onto the other girls shoulder and banging their heads together. “The line isn’t too bad!”

“Okay!” Hiromi glanced back at them, and Haru could see that her eyes were already massive from the atmosphere. He never regretted forgetting Tylenol so much. “Did you boys want anything?” While Makoto shook his head and declined politely, Haru just mumbled out water. 

“You boys are no fun!” she pouted, though still didn’t push. “Go grab us some seats, then!” she directed them over to tables lit up in bright neon colors with a finger. To Haru they looked tacky, but he supposed it went with the aesthetic of the rest of the club. “We’ll be right back.” With a wink and a tug from Zuki, the girls disappeared into the flow of the crowd. Immediately Haru looked at Makoto, who looked about as awkward as he felt. Still, when he turned to return the gaze he offered a comforting smile. 

“Come on, let’s get a table.” The club was hopping, so to speak, and cutting through the horde of people quickly became a challenge. While the girls were small and nimble, Makoto was a giant in himself, constantly uttering apologies as he bumped into arms and broke up dancing couples. Haru was in complete opposite, the flow of the crowd acting much like water as it tried to drag him away. Halfway through he was grabbing onto the back of Makoto’s shirt to keep them from separating. 

“This is ridiculous.” He muttered, relaxing slightly as Makoto’s body parted a path much better than his had. Makoto laughed. 

“Well, it is the weekend. Ah- Sorry!” Makoto lowered his head slightly to a guy decked out in tattoos with a green glass in his hand. “It’s bound to be a bit busy.” Haru had to disagree with that. A bit busy would have allowed them to walk casually over to their destination, not in the zig-zag motion they currently were using. If it wasn’t for the bright color of her dress he probably wouldn’t have even been able to pick out Hiromi at the bar, waving her hand high in the air to get the bartender’s attention. It was like a gigantic sea of people, except instead of wanting to swim in it, he wanted to turn on his heels and leave. 

When they finally made it to the tables on the far side of the club, they collapsed into the chairs of a neon orange one with sighs of relief. 

“Phew, we made it!” Makoto smiled to the table, pushing his hair back with a hand. “Hiromi-Chan said it was a popular place, but I guess I didn’t really realize what that meant until now. I don’t think I’ve seen so many people packed together before!” Haru laid his cheek into his palm. 

“I suppose.” he replied, tapping his fingers on the table, completely ignoring the beat of the music overhead. Over by the tables it was a bit duller to make room for conversation, but it still thundered in his temple. Oh, how he wished he had brought the damn Tylenol. 

“Haru, you are okay, right?” Surprised at the sudden gentle tone of his voice, which did not fit the atmosphere of the club at all, Haru looked up at him. “I know you said you changed your mind and decided to come, but I know you don’t like this sort of thing. All of these people and the noise probably are making you uncomfortable and I worry-“ Haru shut his eyes. Stupid Makoto, knowing him too well. Stupid Makoto, thinking of his wellbeing instead of himself. Stupid Makoto, not realizing he came to protect him, not for it to happen the other way around. 

“Makoto.” Haru cut him off with a piercing gaze. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be. Don’t worry so much.” What started out as a look of uncertainty turned into a soft face of appreciation, and Haru found his cheeks getting warm at the expression stretched across Makoto’s face. 

“Thanks, Haru.” The smile Makoto offered was much rarer than any of his other smiles, which usually came with their own sun. This one was more delicate and genuine.  
“Why are you thanking me, idiot?” Haru found an interest in a speck on the table. “I haven’t done anything.” Makoto just shook his head. 

“No reason.” He propped his chin up with his knuckle. “I just felt like saying it.” They both were lying. They both knew this, too. Each of them could tell just by looking at one another, see it through a glance in the eye or change in body habits. But they did each other the favor of not calling it out, as was habit of them since middle school. There was no point in clarifying that Haru’s reason for coming was Makoto, nor was there any point in knowing exactly why Makoto was showing gratitude. They knew, and for them that was enough. Words were a waste of breath when a look was all it took to understand. 

“Mako-kun!” her voice became muffled in the music and the throng of people, but Hiromi’s shout still reached them. In perfect sync Haru and Makoto turned their heads to see the girls approaching, both supporting glasses filled with a light pink liquid and an added glass of water in Zuki’s case. 

Standing up, Makoto waved them over and they slipped between what looked like the cast of Grease as they headed in their direction.

“That was fast.” Makoto commented, pulling the chair beside him out so she could sit. Zuki took the other seat beside Haru. 

“Well,” Hiromi giggled, sipping from the straw of her drink. “As you know, I can be highly persuasive.” She wiggled her eyebrows towards Zuki, who snorted into her drink.

“Let’s just say you should be proud of your girlfriend and leave it at that, Makoto-kun.” Zuki winked. “Oh, and Nanase-kun!” she slid over the other drink she held, the ice cubes clanking against the glass.

“Thanks.” Haru said quietly, nodding his head to her. She smiled back, bringing her own straw to her lips. 

“Aurgh, I really don’t like it!” Zuki burst out. 

“What, the drink?” Hiromi asked confused. “You were the one who recommended it to me, you know.” 

“No, not that!” Zuki pointed a sudden finger at Haru, who had just started to raise the glass to his lips. He paused. “No matter how it looks, calling you Nanase-kun is so formal and stupid. I won’t do it! We’re not in high school anymore, formalities are lame! Haruka-kun sounds so much better- no wait!” she snapped her fingers, pointing at Makoto now. “What do you call him, ‘Haru’? Haru-kun! Yes! That’s what I’ll call you! And you should just call me Zuki, kay?” Haru stared at her, eyes wide. Makoto looked rather bewildered. As for Hiromi, she was wiping her eyes in laughter. 

“Zuki, then.” Haru said after a moment’s pause, glancing towards her. Zuki’s eyes lit up as he actually complied. Haru just figured it was the path of least resistance.  
“Woo!” she cheered to the ceiling, raising her glass before taking another sip of it. “It’s a lot more fun this way, neh?” Haru didn’t respond, instead pressing the rim of his glass to his lips so finally he could drink some of his water. 

“Are you sure you don’t want some, Mako-kun?” Hiromi asked, scooting her chair closer and offering him her glass. It was half empty already. “It’s pretty yummy!”  
“Mmm, I’m okay, Hiromi-chan.” Makoto shook his head. “You enjoy it!”

“Always a gentleman.” Hiromi smiled, pulling Makoto closer to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Oh well, more for us!” stretching her arm across the table she met Zuki’s glass with a loud clank. 

“You bet!” together they tossed their straws and downed the rest of the pink drink in a fit of giggles. 

Haru found in a little bit over an hour that Hiromi and Zuki were not exaggerating when it came to drinks. While he and Makoto shared a single glass of water, each of them had two empty glasses at their sides. Amidst all this was girl gossip, something that Haru quickly realized was about as interesting as a rock, that mostly consisted of Hiromi and Zuki discussing who was hooking up while Makoto offered his own inputs here and there. Haru sat at the side in his own silence, choosing whether or not the information was important enough to listen to. Usually when he tried to care he discovered it was a waste of effort anyways, but he decided to give Makoto the benefit of the doubt since the orca himself seemed to be enjoying the chatter. He personally had never been one for small talk. 

When she came back with her third glass in hand, Zuki finally turned her attention to Haru, giving him a curious smile. 

“Hmm, so are you really as amazing of a swimmer as these two claim?” she asked, gesturing to the two on the other side. Currently Hiromi was whispering into Makoto’s ear and they were paying little to no attention to them. Haru shrugged. 

“I’m okay, I suppose.” 

“You suppose?” she giggled, though Haru didn’t really understand what was so funny. “Aren’t you trying to go pro?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Then I would classify you as pretty damn good.” When exactly had Zuki moved her chair so close? Without his notice, she had moved close enough so her knees were nearly grazing his thigh. He fought the urge to back away. “What do you swim?”

“I only swim free.” 

“Eh? But aren’t there like five other strokes? How can you only swim one?” There were only three, but Haru decided it was best not to correct her. 

“They don’t feel the same.” 

“Feel the same. Hmm.” Zuki looked at him for a moment before she burst out laughing, clutching her stomach like he had said something hilarious. He couldn’t help but narrow his eyes, finding nothing funny nor inaccurate about his statement. “You really are interesting, Haru-kun!” 

“Don’t make fun of him, Zuki!” Hiromi butted in, standing up as she did so. “You can barely swim the doggy paddle.” 

“I’m not, I’m not!” Zuki waved her comment away, grinning. “I think it’s cool you believe in something so much.” She rested her chin in her palm, looking at Haru. “I don’t think I could ever do that.” 

“Haru loves the water more than anything.” Makoto smiled, and Haru couldn’t help but locking eyes with the gleam of green. “He knows it better than anybody. I don’t think there’s a person in the world who could compete with that.” It was a compliment, a high compliment where Haru was concerned, and he found himself burying into his water glass to keep his gaze focused on something else as his heart pounded inside. Stupid Makoto. 

“Where are you two going?” Zuki asked, watching as Hiromi pulled Makoto up to his feet. 

“Dancing, of course! That’s why we came here!” she wobbled on her first step to the dance floor but steadied herself. “We’re heading out first. We’ll catch you two later, okay?” 

“Bye-bye.” Zuki grinned, waving. 

“Haru,” Makoto started, and Haru could hear it, the waver in his voice, the uncertainty of leaving him alone in such a place. He looked as if he had just been told to leave his puppy in the rain. Haru was sure that if Makoto continued to talk he would try to argue to stay at the table, or at least convince Hiromi to bring him out there with him. That’s what Haru wanted the least. 

“Have fun.” Fast and blunt, Haru stopped him before he could even begin. “Don’t step on too many feet. Remember, 1-2-3.” He let out a smirk, then, because a part of him kind of hoped Makoto would. 

“Haru!” Makoto whined while the girls looked at him with curious gazes. 

“What is he talking about?” Hiromi prodded, hanging on his arm. 

“N-Nothing.” He stammered, and they left the table like that, sucked into the stream of dancers as soon as they approached. Haru watched them go, his smirk falling quickly when the two came to a stop and Hiromi grabbed his hands to dance. They started off with a quick pace, Hiromi twirling and bouncing around him, the dress like a ring of fire within the crowd. Makoto was better than he had previously given him credit for, moving in beat enough to match her ever-moving form. He had to admit they complimented each other, a flickering flame prancing around a steady earth. While one always moved, the other acted as a pillar to bring them back. 

“Heh. Hiromi is really going all out tonight.” Zuki grinned, bringing her glass to her lips only to pout when she found it empty. “I haven’t seen her dance like this in ages.” Haru glanced over at Zuki for a minute, only to return his gaze back onto the couple. “She must really like Makoto-kun.” With sudden difficulty, Haru swallowed, working past a lump he hadn’t realized was stuck in his throat. 

“Probably.” He managed, watching as Makoto and Hiromi came together as the song overhead ended. He watched, too, as Hiromi reached up and pulled him down by his neck for a kiss. Hands weaved into his hair and Makoto pulled her closer. They were tightly pressed just like Haru had warned, but his concern seemed to have been unwarranted. From where he sat, Makoto looked to be perfectly fine. Even as the music started back up they didn’t separate. Haru wondered if it really was possibly for a stomach to drop or if it truly was just a metaphor. 

“Hmm…” Zuki thoughtfully sighed, watching the same scene. “Come on, Haru-kun. It’s stupid to just sit here and watch. Let’s dance too!” Reaching under the table abruptly she grabbed Haru by the wrist and tugged, forcibly taking him away from his comfortable chair and out onto the dance floor packed with sweating bodies and lack of personal space. “Sitting at the table is boring! This is where the party is!” Zuki grinned, though Haru had no inclination to agree with her. But at least here, somewhere off to the far right, he didn’t have to watch Hiromi and Makoto dance anymore. “Now let’s dance!”

To concur her own order, her body began moving to the pulsing rhythm overhead, arms swaying, hips twisting, and all of her bouncing. Haru watched her, slightly impressed, at her ability to keep with the beat, and allowed himself to at least sway to the music, if nothing else to keep people from staring at his stagnant form. 

“No, Haru-kun, that is not dancing!” she complained, the alcohol in her body making her words slur just a little. “You look like your about to start singing kumbiyah or something.” She grabbed hold of his hands. “Like this!” and Zuki started pulling and pushing his arms back and forth, bringing them close to the ground before going back to full height.

“I feel stupid.” Haru deadpanned, which she burst out laughing to.

“So!? That’s how it’s supposed to feel, we’re dancing!” Smiling, Zuki twisted her body to the beat as she raised their arms up and down, bringing them closer before spreading them far apart. 

“Isn’t this what children do?” Haru continued to prod, finding himself rather reminiscent of one of Makoto’s birthday parties when they were in middle school. It also featured pin the tail on the donkey and limbo. Zuki rolled her eyes and huffed out a breath. 

“Fine! Then let’s be adults.” Before Haru had enough time to even think about what she could mean by that, she was pulling him by both hands infinitely closer to the point she released his arms entirely and pressed her body right against his, her leg between his thighs, hands clutching his lower back. “How that? Adult enough for you?” Zuki slowly started to slide her hands down his back and rested them on his ass. 

Jolted with surprise, his heart suddenly was threatening to break out of his ribcage as his entire body stung as if his foot had fallen asleep and was slowly waking up. With each passing second he could feel his cheeks grow redder from embarrassment. 

“I didn’t say the dancing was bad.” He mumbled, grabbing her by the shoulders in order to try and create some distance between them. 

“Oh my god, you’re blushing!” she laughed, allowing herself to be backed up. 

“I am not.” 

“You so are, oh my god, that’s adorable!” she giggled, reaching up to grab his cheeks, though he swatted the hand away before she even got a chance. “You really are new at this, aren’t you?” Haru answered with silence, fixating his gaze on the couple beside them, grinding so hard he was sure they would wake up with rashes tomorrow. “Don’t worry.” Zuki smiled, biting her lip as she placed flat hands on his chest. “I don’t mind. I find it…” she clenched her fingers like claws. “… _endearing_.”

Overhead the song came to an end as Haru stared quietly at her, the room filling with whistles and shouts as they all waited for the next one to start up. She looked back with intensity, eyes fierce and bright like fire. But they weren’t warm, as they should have been, like the other bright eyes of green he knew. No, they chilled him. He could feel it in his spine up to his neck where hairs stood on end. Green eyes were supposed to be kind and gentle and safe. He should be able to see stars and feel the sun. Her eyes were frauds. They did none of these things. 

“We should probably go find the others.” Haru finally spoke, taking a step back. Zuki tutted.

“Eh-eh-eh, Haru-kun.” She scolded, following his step and running her hands up to his neck before bringing them back down. “I don’t want to go back yet. I like this alone time with you. Besides, do you really want to go back and watch Hiromi make out with Makoto-kun again?” she stuck out her tongue in disgust. Haru sighed because he already knew his answer. 

“No.” 

“So let’s dance more.” She murmured. As if at Zuki’s beck and call, the music returned, this time pumping in beats a bit slower than earlier. This must have been what they called a ‘slow song’ for a club. “Like the adults we are.” 

He wasn’t exactly sure what made him agree. Perhaps it was atmosphere of the club, or the amount of effort it probably would have taken to convince Zuki to go back to the table. It was most likely, in reality, the apprehension he felt towards going back to Makoto and Hiromi, who may or may not be still breathing souly through the oxygen in each other’s mouths. Regardless of what the truth was, Haru slowly nodded to Zuki. 

“Okay.” 

“Okay, he says.” She smiled, bringing their bodies into a slow sway around the dance floor. It looked a bit odd with the beat currently running through the air, but Haru wasn’t exactly in the mood to care how it looked either. “You really are a man of few words. But I suppose it is part of your charm. Still, you could work a bit harder to flatter a girl. ‘I would love to dance with you until the sun rises in the morning’ yeah, something corny like that would be great.” Towards that, Haru couldn’t help but scoff. “I agree, it would ruin your image.” 

“My image.” He repeated. 

“Yes. You kind of have a mysterious, cool persona going on.” Haru hmphed at that. “We can’t ruin that, now can we?” She dusted air off from his shoulder. “Big blue eyes, a stoic expression. You could give a girl shivers just by looking at you. And to top it off you’re an athlete!” Zuki laughed to the air. “I’m surprised some girl hasn’t scooped you up yet.” Haru found himself shuffling his weight back and forth on his feet, unsure of what to say for the umpteenth time that night. This movement must have come to a surprise to Zuki because the moment he moved his feet she lost her balance and came tumbling into him. 

With genuine concern, Haru wrapped an arm around Zuki to hold her steady, wondering if the alcohol had impaired her more than he had previously thought. She looked up at him, practically using his body for support, before a mischievous look spread over her face. An uneasy feeling rapidly built inside him, twisting his stomach into knots he thought should be familiar, but weren’t. The music was suddenly louder. His temple was pounding. Was her perfume always this strong? 

He was sure he could count her eyelashes. 

His head hurt. Why hadn’t he brought Tylenol? He should have brought Tylenol. The lights were killing him.

Makoto. Where was Makoto?

Right. He was with his girlfriend. 

Stupid Makoto, leaving him alone. Even if he had said it was fine, even if that’s exactly what he had said, it really wasn’t. Because this was Makoto, gentle and kind and oblivious. He would find a way to get into trouble. 

Haru was positive of this. 

“You know, you’re very pretty, Haru.” Zuki whispered to him, her eyelids becoming heavy. “Almost like a girl. I don’t know why but,” she leaned in closer with green eyes that lacked warmth and a smile that spoke nothing of a sun. “I find it incredibly attractive.” In a suddenly aggressive pull, Haru found Zuki's lips on his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until next Wednesday, 
> 
> swim free my little Makoharu babies.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO LEARNED HOW TO DO ITALICS!? THIS GIRL! Something so small shouldn't make me so happy, but it was bothering when the italics from Word didn't transfer over. To be honest, i should have googled it sooner. Well, whatever. 
> 
>  
> 
> "It's as if we were destined to become like this from long ago-"  
> -Makoto and Haruka in their duet, "Always Here"

Haru had only been kissed by three women in his life: His mother, his grandmother, and Mrs. Tachibana.

His mother was a forehead kisser, always brushing his bangs out of the way and giving a light press before wishing him goodnight or good luck or goodbye. They were more abundant when he was younger, but even as he grew up his mother would occasionally surprise him with one. They were always soft and gentle, and the words his mother sometimes didn’t say were etched into its touch. 

His grandmother was a lot more direct, often planting her kisses on the corner of his mouth. They had unnerved him at first, trying his best to avoid them when she would visit. But after she moved in and his parents left, he grew accustom to the affection. Each morning started with a kiss after he headed out to school, Makoto smiling in the background, and each night ended with one before she shuffled off to bed. He became so used to them that when she passed away, it felt like a piece of his day was missing. It took him a while before he stopped looking around for her. 

Mrs. Tachibana, unlike the other two, was a loose cannon. Haru never knew what to expect with her. When he was little, she would kiss at the paper cuts on his fingers, the back of his head when she came through the door, and the bruises on his knees when Ren and Ran played a bit too rough. She held him close and kissed at the tears on his cheeks when his grandmother died, and on lonely nights when he felt the emptiness of his home to the point he had to stay over for days. He was kissed goodnight on the temple at sleepovers, and thanked with kisses to the forehead. There weren’t many places left on his body where Mrs. Tachibana, with her pleasant mothering nature, hadn’t kissed at some point in his life. 

Haru had never been kissed by anyone else. He had never been kissed by someone he didn’t consider family. And he had definitely never been kissed by a girl. 

He expected it to be different than the kisses he had received before. He didn’t expect it to feel this awful. Zuki’s lips were hot, burning even, against his cooled ones, and yet he felt no warmth, no compassion from their press. It was nothing but a thin line of eagerness, impatience pushing her to kiss him harder. He could feel her nails press tightly into his skin, could feel her jaw working to open his own mouth as she begged for access with flicks of her tongue. Haru was suffocating. Everything about this felt wrong. It wasn’t supposed to feel like this, right? It was supposed to be better than this, right!? 

Makoto always smiled when he was kissing, always touched Hiromi in such a gentle way. It was something that made him happy, right? There was supposed to be caressing trails of fingers and light presses of lips that always left a warm trail. After all, there was no way Makoto’s kisses couldn’t leave Hiromi feeling warm, not when they came from him. They would feel just like Mrs. Tachibana’s, sweet and full of genuine love. They had to make her heart pitter-patter and skip and even stop. Haru shouldn’t be feeling as if he had been shot: He should be flying on cloud nine. But he wasn’t. He was ice cold, Zuki’s touch strangling him like rope.

It was supposed to be warm palms against his neck, soft and safe. His ears were supposed to be burning bright red. His heart was supposed to be pounding. Fingers were supposed to be weaving through his hair. Green eyes were supposed to be reflecting back at him. There should be a smile. Noses were supposed to brush. Lips were supposed to be warm. _Haru-chan_. Lips were supposed to be loving. _Haru_. Lips were supposed to be home. _Haruka_. 

Zuki was all wrong. It wasn’t supposed to be her. It was supposed to be someone else. It was supposed to be-

Supposed to be-

Makoto. 

It was supposed to be Makoto. 

Why couldn’t he have been kissed by Makoto? 

“Get off me!” Haru cried, pushing Zuki off him with sudden aggression. Was the ground shaking? No it was him. He was trembling. Of course he was, after thinking something like that... He was panting too. Zuki couldn’t have been on him any longer than a few seconds, but he was breathing like he had just run a marathon. He couldn’t quite catch the oxygen floating around the room, the air too stuffy to be of any use. He needed to leave. He needed fresh air. He needed…

“What the hell, Haru-kun!?” Zuki shouted, causing a few of the couples nearby to look in their direction. Haru covered his mouth, looking at her with bright eyes. His heart was in his throat, he could feel it. _Thunk-thunk-thunk_ , faster than the dubstep overhead. Breathe. Breathe. 

“I’m going.” He managed to relay to her, despite everything, and started making his way off the dancefloor. She looked livid, as if he had just insulted her mother. Those green eyes were such a mockery about everything. He wanted them gone. 

“Wait! All I freaking did was kiss you! Haru-kun, wait! I said wait!” she reached for his arm but he yanked away from her immediately, slipping through the throng of people and out of her reach. Immediately he was overwhelmed with unbearable heat as bodies slid around him like a pulse. He fought against its current, shoved couples apart and stepped on toes, even accidently felt up a person as he desperately tried to get her out of the way. Many shouts became aimed at him, a kind soul even asked if he was okay, but he ignored it all. He just wanted to leave, he just wanted to get out. When he at last saw the doors, he danced around a group of three and sprinted towards the entrance. 

He flew through the door with ease, running past security, the waiting line, everyone. Eyes followed, drunks giggled, some random person even shouted “where you goin’, cutie!?” Haru told himself he could stop. His feet kept running. _I can’t breathe_ , his mind, his lungs, begged. _Farther, farther,_ his heart demanded. _Until it no longer hurts_. 

Blocks later, his body finally crashed, and Haru clutched the bricks of an alley with pale fingers. He inhaled the oxygen in rigid gasps, beads of sweat sliding down the back of his neck. The air refreshed his lungs and steadied his breathing, even felt nice against his skin. But it did little to help the loudness of his heart or the tremble of his body. 

Slowly, Haru turned himself around, sliding down and pulling his knees to his face. Except for the faraway sounds of cars honking from time to time, it was complete silence around him. It was much more pleasing than the constant pound of the club. Seconds ticked by. He began to wish for his bathtub. He wished for Makoto too. 

Haru squeezed his knees. No, no he didn’t wish for Makoto. He was the reason for him sitting here in the alley in the first place! If he hadn’t gotten a girlfriend, if he hadn’t been dragged by them to this club, then—well then he would be sitting at home in the comfort of his water. If was their fault—Makoto’s fault!—for all of this. Zuki touching him, Zuki kissing him, Zuki making him think something like that… 

_Why couldn’t he have been kissed by Makoto?_ Haru’s heart missed a beat. He remembered it, pictured it. Soft touches, green diamonds overhead, graced lips gentle but eager. Everything would tingle, from his nose to his toes, with each placid kiss. They wouldn’t fall in one place, but in a trail. _Buzz-buzz_ his skin would vibrate. His body was on fire; all he wanted to do was keep kindling the flames. 

Haru weaved his fingers into his hair and twisted the black locks. Why was it like this!? His relationship… his relationship with Makoto was nothing like that! They were best friends and nothing beyond it. Why was he thinking such things? It wasn’t right, he shouldn’t… he shouldn’t be thinking of anything like this at all! Before tonight, he had never thought about Makoto like this. It was a ruse, a simple misunderstanding. There was no way it could mean anything. It was just his adrenaline messing with his brain from being kissed so suddenly like that. It would all go away in a moment and just be a forgotten memory. He would forget these thoughts, forget them… _forget them!_ But if that was true, then, well then why did just the idea of it hurt so much? 

_Because you love him_. Haru froze. Somewhere far away, a cat meowed. Cars honked. A bunch of giggling drunks sung to Oldcodex out of tune. He was frozen. Haru sat there, staring wide eyed at his knees, not even twitching a finger. His heart didn’t beat, he didn’t dare breathe. If he stayed there long enough, perhaps he could merge into the wall. _You love him_. 

The pressure in his chest, that rock in his stomach, continued to pull and stretch and sink beyond what was possible until is frayed and tore in half, the thousands of little strings that were holding him together just completely gone as the rock cracked and crumbled into dust. The feeling left him utterly numb, almost weightless. In that moment he felt like a soul without a body, as if there was nothing to hold him there. It felt like he was swimming. It felt like he was free. 

And then his mind jump started and his head was swirling at this impossible realization. What- what the hell was he even thinking? Him, in love with Makoto? The idea was simply preposterous- impossible! He wasn’t. He couldn’t! Makoto was his best friend, his family. Of course, if he did think about it, he did love Makoto. But they had known each other since they were infants- they were practically brothers! Makoto had been there for everything, from his ups to his downs, and even the in-betweens. Always there, always smiling. Denying that he didn’t love him would be cruel. 

But what his mind was promoting was inconceivable. He couldn’t be in love with Makoto. Because being in love meant… 

Haru’s eyes went wide.

It meant caring about someone with all of your heart. It wasn’t just pitter-patters of hearts and adoring looks and warm touches, though that was definitely part of it. No, being in love was so much more than that. It meant total acceptance of a person, not just of the good, but of the bad and the quirky. The person of affection was their world, the center of the universe. When they smile, you smile from the sheer brightness of light. When they laugh, you laugh too because something so beautiful is nothing but contagious. And when they are passionate or upset or determined or stubborn, you feel it, feel it in every fiber of your being because being in love meant understanding and comfort and trust and oh god what had he done? Haru buried his face into his hands. 

“Could I really be…” he found himself murmuring, doubt starting to take over any previous reasoning he had. Because it was impossible, completely impossible—and yet there was no way Haru could ever deny Makoto’s importance in his life. He would never want to. Makoto was… Makoto was the only one who wholly understood him. He was the first to offer him a hand, the first to give him comfort, and the first to accept him, strange quirks and all—and there were a lot of them. Makoto was the light that led him to the water, and yet allowed him to soak as he pleased. He gave him the pushes he sometimes needed to take a dive, but never once did he shove him into the deep-end alone. He was always there, always beside him. There to support him, to scold him, and to care for him. Haru appreciated Makoto, appreciated him more than he could ever say. But was he really in love with Makoto?

The way his heart began to pound at just the thought of love furthered his doubt. It hadn’t always been like this, had it? There was a time in his life where the thought of Makoto didn’t affect him at all. Before Tokyo, everything had been normal. So what had changed? Haru couldn’t help but scoff at his own obliviousness. Hiromi. Hiromi is what had changed. 

All of this had started when Hiromi had come into the picture. Before she and Makoto had started dating, he hadn’t even given Makoto a single thought in that way. But now… he was becoming a mess. His nonsensical heartbeat, the knots in his stomach, the strong dislike for Makoto’s girlfriend, all the symptoms made sense now. He couldn’t remember blushing this much towards the brunette before, nor could he remember being so blinded by his sweet smile and gentle gaze. Nagisa never made his stomach flip. Rei never made his hands sweat. Rin never set his heart aflame like this. None of them made him imagine what their lips might feel like. This was all just because of Makoto. Makoto was the one doing this to him. And Hiromi was the catalyst. 

There was no denying it. There was no way, no way at all. Not when he could see it now, not when all the pieces of the puzzle fit. He was in love with Makoto, so deeply in love that it was ridiculous. 

“I’m in love with Makoto.” Haru whispered, touching his lips as he said it. He could feel his cheeks burn pink and his insides squirm like they never had before. It was a strange sensation, and it took him a moment to realize what this feeling was. He was having butterflies. He, Haruka Nanase, was having butterflies in his stomach after admitting that he was in love. It shocked him so much that he burst out laughing, giggling into his knees like some lovesick school girl. It echoed around the alley and he laughed harder, clutching himself into a tight ball. His eyes began to sting. Tears slid down his cheeks like rain. He ignored them and laughed, laughed until his stomach hurt. Let it hurt like the rest of him. He couldn’t find a way to make himself care anymore. And when the laughter stopped it was replaced by sobs, and Haru cried into his hands as his body shook with this newfound revelation. 

What a pitiful person he was. How dare he fall in love with a straight man? How dare he fall in love with his best friend? How dare he fall in love with Makoto? Haru didn’t want to know what kind of past life he had lived before to disserve this. He just wanted to swim. That’s all he ever wanted. To swim with Makoto. Why did it have to turn out like this?

Because what could he do, even with knowing? Makoto had a girlfriend, had Hiromi. Even if he had enough courage to tell Makoto how he was feeling, it was too late to do anything about it. Makoto was happy with her. He was just the friend. He now understood why he had taken so long to come to this conclusion. His mind had been desperately trying to protect him from the truth. That even if he loved Makoto, he could not have him. It was easier to live in ignorant bliss than to know and be able to do nothing.

The vibrate from his phone sounded otherworldly as it sounded off and it took several rings before Haru was able to understand it was real and not just his imagination. With clammy hands he reached for it, more so out of habit than a wish to answer it. Reading the caller ID, his stomach fluttered again, and he couldn’t help the small quirky smile he got as he wiped away lasting tears. Makoto. Why was it that, no matter the situation, Makoto always knew when he was needed? Haru pressed answer and put the phone up to his ear, music blaring before he even heard Makoto speak.

“Haru!? Haru, are you okay?” Alarmed, Makoto was alarmed for him. This idea shocked him, and yet he couldn’t help but feel a bit pleased at his best friends worry. He really was messed up, wasn’t he? 

“I’m fine.” Haru managed into the phone, hoping that his voice didn’t sound choked up or broken. In the background he could hear the pounding of the club music grow quieter. Had Makoto left the club? 

“I’m so glad you answered!” came his response, a sigh of relief buzzing into the phone. “Zuki said- oh sorry- she said that you just took off running and I was so worried! What happened, Haru? Are you sure you’re fine? Tell me where you are and I’ll come find you.” Haru’s insides did a flip. The way he was now, there was no way he could face Makoto. Not when tears were still drying on his cheeks and realization was still pumping through his veins. 

“Makoto, I’m fine.” He tried to reassure, clearing his throat. “I couldn’t handle all the people, so I left. It just wasn’t my thing.” 

“But Haru… that’s…” Even without being there, Haru could tell Makoto was biting his lip, contemplating what he would say next. “Look, where are you?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Haru shook his head, closing his eyes and laying his head against the bricks. “Stay at the club. I’ll just catch the train and go home.” Makoto’s response to that became panicked. 

“What no! Haru, it’s so late! It’s not safe for you to ride so far alone.” 

“I’ll be fine. I’ve ridden the train plenty of times before.” 

“But not this late! Please, if you want to go home at least let me come and take you back…” Haru couldn’t help but snort at this.

“What about Hiromi?” saying her name made a strange tingle travel down his spine and left him uncomfortable. “You can’t just leave her alone at the club. She’s your girlfriend.”  
“Well yeah, but-“ Makoto struggled with forming a coherent sentence. 

“Like I said, don’t worry about it. Go back and have fun. Don’t keep her waiting.”

“Haru, if you really want to leave can you at least go to my house instead, like we had planned? I don’t feel comfortable with you out in Tokyo by yourself so late at night…”  
“Nothing will happen to me Makoto.”

“Please Haru. I’d feel so much better if you did as I asked. Please.” Makoto was begging now, and Haru found himself caving in seconds. He couldn’t say no, not when Makoto was caring so deeply about him. 

“Okay. I will go there instead.” Makoto’s relief was vocalized on the other end. 

“Thank you, Haru. Text me when you get there, okay? Just so I know you made it there.” 

“When did you become my mother?”

“Please, Haru…” 

“I will.” Haru assured him softly. “Goodbye, Makoto. Have a good time. Step on some feet.” There was a light chuckle at the other end.

“Bye, Haru. Be safe.” Haru hung up the phone with a sigh, looking up at the star-less cloudy sky overhead. His body felt exhausted. Too many emotions in such a short time had ransacked his reserves and left him feeling numb once more. Makoto was probably right. It was more than likely best that he just go to his house instead. It would be safer than an alley. More comfortable too. He could take a shower, maybe make a snack. And then he could sleep. Just the mere thought of no longer having to think sounded like heaven. 

Still, even with a plan in mind Haru found himself unable to move for quite some time. His legs still felt like jelly, even with a trained body like his. He was afraid that if he stood up, he would just fall back down again.

The thought of worrying Makoto if he didn’t arrive soon was what eventually pulled him to his feet. He brushed off some dirt from his clothes, then wiped at his eyes once more before leaving his make-shift sanctuary to find out where the hell his feet had taken him. 

 

It turned out that his sprint from the club had lead him further away than he had thought, but not down to a place he had found unfamiliar. In fact, it had lead him not two blocks from a small café he and Makoto often frequented for coffee and sweets. From there he was able to figure out a path back to Makoto’s quite easily, walking along the hidden footsteps they had previously left. 

He could understand Makoto’s worry about the darkness of Tokyo a bit better now, now that he was walking through downtown without the light of the sun. Shapes jumped in the shadows, and a couple of times he became wary at the presence of other individuals, most of which moved in crowds. 

When he finally arrived at Makoto’s door, Haru was able to find the spare key hidden in the dirt of a flower sitting off to the side. After wiping some of the mud off- Makoto must have just watered it-, he inserted it into the lock and pushed the door open. Darkness from the apartment greeted him like an old friend as he closed the door behind him. He scanned the room for whatever reason, as if checking to make sure nothing was out of place, which really made sense since it was all darkened blobs anyways, and found it to be somehow satisfactory. 

Forgetting the lights, Haru kicked his shoes off to the side and pulled out his phone to send a message to Makoto because he was pretty sure the brunette would not be able to relax until he received confirmation that Haru had made it through Tokyo safely. 

_I’m home_. 

He hit send and looked away for only a moment before realizing what he said, alarm quickly overcoming his features. 

“Shit shit shit-“ Haru stammered at his phone, clicking unsuccessfully as the word **sending** changed to **sent**. It wasn’t really a big deal, but yet it was, because this wasn’t his home, it was Makoto’s. Makoto’s, who he now knew he was in love with, and that changed everything. Claiming this as his home now felt so wrong, like he was invading on a space he shouldn’t be, and now he was afraid Makoto would call him out on his mistake, say that no, he wasn’t at home. He was just at Makoto’s. 

Haru squeezed his phone tightly, sitting against the back of Makoto’s couch with his knees drawn up. How could something so small drive him this crazy? The dark did nothing but amplify the pounding of his veins. Waiting for a reply from Makoto was agonizing, and he wasn’t even sure if he would receive one. Maybe Makoto was off dancing with Hiromi again with his phone left at the table? Or perhaps he did see it and saw what he wrote and found it so weird that he couldn’t bring himself to reply? 

The buzz in his hand startled him out of his thoughts and Haru had to swipe to unlock it multiple times because he was so nervous about the waiting reply. 

_Good, I was starting to worry… There is water in the fridge if you want some. I shouldn’t be too long. I’m glad you made it safely_. 

Haru stared at the message, his ears ringing. Makoto didn’t say anything about it. He didn’t even tease him. He was just happy he was there. It was all so very… Makoto. Haru sighed into his knees, setting his phone to the side. He didn’t understand this… any of this. Of course Makoto wouldn’t. Makoto was too sweet of a person to find what he said strange. He probably would even chuckle at the message and think how very Haru it was. 

He released a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping. Why did everything have to get so complicated now? Back home everything came so easy. Friends, swimming, school, Makoto. He had felt so in control- now everything was spiraling. Haru wanted his stability back. He wondered if that was possible. 

Standing up, Haru meandered through the dark towards the bathroom. If there was any way to find the answer, it was in the water. He could already feel the calming liquid on his skin as he stepped through the door and flipped on the lights. 

More than 20 minutes passed by before Haru finally stepped of the shower, cheeks flushed and hair dripping, wearing borrowed clothes from Makoto. He did have some of his own clothes laying around somewhere, as it had been the initial intention for him to spend the night anyways, but in his desire to get into the shower he had forgotten to go searching. In the end, it was just much easier to grab some clothes off the floor, especially since one of the items was his favorite orange shirt. Besides, he always felt comfortable in Makoto’s clothes. They were always a bit big for him, and so offered room for his limbs to breathe. They also smelt like Makoto, but Haru was pretending that he didn’t notice that factor for the moment.

His next task became somewhat that of a maid as he began picking up little things Makoto had left around the apartment. A single forgotten shoe, a poorly folded blanket, a few dishes in the sink. Makoto wasn’t exactly messy, but compared to Haru’s lifestyle and the way he kept his own home, it was a bit of a distraction. And really, he didn’t mind chores. He would be lying, though, if he wasn’t a bit glad for it. 

Though he was tired, much of his body was still buzzing with the day’s adrenaline. With so much going on his mind wasn’t yet ready to power down and leave him be. He needed to keep busy, just for now. If this meant re-organizing Makoto’s movie collection, then so be it. 

It was nearing 2 when Haru started stifling yawns, and he finally made his way towards Makoto’s bedroom, eyeing up the larger bed with pleasure. He all but collapsed onto the fluff, instinctively curling his legs into his stomach and covering his face. It was cool and soothing against his face, still relatively warm from his hot shower.  
Face pressed up against it like this, Haru was overwhelmed by Makoto’s scent. 

It smelt like fabric softener, but also him. Through it he could feel the warmth of his gaze and gentle touch of his smile, even hear the ring of his laugh. And it was sweet, the smell, because Makoto liked sweet things. There was chocolate cake and whipped cream frosting and even a small scent of blueberry, just like the flavor they used to share in their ice cream back home. The blankets lulled him like nothing else could and he wrapped his limbs around them tighter, buried his face deeper, because the sensation was just so soothing and wonderful. He never wanted it to stop. 

I’m home Haru couldn’t help but think as he snuggled his face into the fluffed fabric. Because who was he kidding? Makoto was his home. 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Makoto had never been so impatient in his life. The moment Zuki came up to them and said Haru had ran off, he had wanted to leave. He wanted to race after him, find out what had happened, and make sure he was okay. In the end, all he got to do was make a simple phone call and wait for a text message. 

The waiting was nerve-racking. There was something in Haru’s voice that made it all the more worse. He didn’t sound as he usually did. It was subdued, even more so than usual, and the words felt forced too. Makoto was positive something must have happened. But as to what that was, he had no idea. Zuki told them nothing but that Haru left before latching onto an arm of a guy she said she knew and disappearing off towards the bar. 

Hiromi did her best to try and distract him for worrying about Haru, assuring over and over that “Haru was a big boy and could handle himself” and “he even told you he would be fine!” but even so, he refused to go back on the dancefloor and sat at the table with his phone tight in his hands. She ended up just sitting across from him, tapping her nails to the beat as she watched others dance. 

When the phone finally vibrated, he flipped it open with ferocity, hoping it was from Haru, hoping that he was okay…

_I’m home_. 

Makoto could feel his insides melting into a warm gooey mess, the message causing a wide smile to spread across his face with a giggle. Home, huh? So cute… Makoto knew what Haru meant- there was no way he could mean his actual home, it would have taken way longer- but just the thought of Haru calling his own apartment home made his whole body tingle with happiness. Haru probably didn’t think anything of sending something like that, probably didn’t find it weird at all, and that made it all the better. It was so like Haru. He always said and did things from time to time that were a bit quirky from the usual, but Makoto couldn’t help but find it anything less than adorable. Humming, he began to text back. 

“See, Mako-kun, I told you he would be fine.” Hiromi reached across the table and squeezed his arm. 

“Yeah, sorry Hiromi-chan.” Makoto shut his phone and gave her an apologetic smile. He really did feel bad for abruptly ending their dancing. 

“You should put more faith in your girlfriend’s words next time.” She winked. “And, well, Mako-kun…” this time Hiromi moved out of her seat to sit on his lap, his arms automatically wrapping around her to prevent her from falling. “I know you care about Haruka-kun and that’s fine but… don’t you think you baby him too much? He’s not your son, he’s your friend.”

“Do I?” Makoto chuckled nervously, scratching at his chin. 

“You do.” She poked him in the chest. “You fawn over him like some mother hen! Just last week you were wiping his face with a napkin when we went out for ice cream. And you’re always standing so close to him and always looking at him and smiling and just… It’s not what you do with your friends! It’s weird how close you two are, even with knowing him for forever.

“And I know I’m probably reading into this too much but I just feel like it’s “Haru” time all the time and just… Mako-kun, I’m your girlfriend, not him…” she ended with a whisper, looking up with eyes Makoto could only consider number 2. “Please don’t forget that. I want attention from you too.” He found that swallowing took twice as much effort. 

“Yeah. I know.” And so he wouldn’t have to say anymore, he kissed her. Because this was concerning Haru and when it came to him he was spineless in the best way. He wouldn’t be able to stop the affectionate gazes and sudden smiles for her. Not when he still loved Haru, not when she was still second. 

“Let’s go dance some more.” Hiromi hugged into his chest as their lips parted. “Just the two of us. Forget about everyone else.” 

“Okay.” Makoto helped her off his lap and to the dancefloor. 

 

By the time Makoto made it back to his apartment, it was nearing 2:30 in the morning and he was pretty sure his feet were about to fall off in protest. At first the darkness of the room caused his shoulders to tense and he quickly began to worry that Haru had lied to him and actually had gone home, but a quick flick of the light relieved him of any worry when he caught sight of familiar shoes. Also, was it just him or was it cleaner in here? Makoto lazily kicked off his own shoes before setting them beside Harus’s, then unbuttoned his vest. He glanced towards the kitchen. Yes, it was definitely cleaner. Haru had freaking cleaned his house.

Locking the door behind him and hanging his keys up on a hook, Makoto began his expedition to find him. If this was any other house, the first place he would have thought to visit was the bathroom. He had had enough experience with Haru to know that if he couldn’t be found, he was more than likely soaking in the tub. But as Haru constantly reminded him, his bathroom was shower-only and not worthy. So, with that in mind, Makoto made the way towards his bedroom. 

Through the light from the hall shining into the room, he was able to find Haru quite quickly, curled up on the bed with his face hidden and legs wrapped around a mound of blankets. Without a thought Makoto smiled, leaning his head against the doorframe. 

“You’ll catch a cold like that, Haru-chan…” he whispered, but didn’t move from his spot right away. Instead, he allowed himself to look just a bit, admired the smallness of body and the cuteness of his toes. The back of his shirt was pulled up a bit and he could see the smoothness of his skin, slightly bronze from spending time outside at the pool. He wondered if the rest of him was the same color. Were there perhaps red marks from spots missed with sunscreen? Maybe along the jut of his spine, or across his shoulders. Makoto wet his lips, realized what he was doing, and quickly distracted himself with getting a blanket from the closet to cover Haru with. 

Since it was summer, he pulled out a thinner quilt their neighbor Ms. Tamura had made him for his 18th birthday and draped it over Haru’s shoulders.

Up this close Haru’s hair looked incredibly soft, and though Makoto already knew it would be, he had the urge to touch it and so reached over to run his hands through blackened locks. It was a little damp to the touch, but that just made him want to run his fingers along the strands all the more, perhaps even graze them down the back of his neck. _I really want to kiss him_ …

Abruptly Makoto pulled his hand away and stepped back, heart pounding. What was he doing? He needed to leave, needed to walk away before he did something he might regret. His friendship with Haru was more important to him than all the urges his body was screaming at him. He was dating Hiromi. He was supposed to be falling in love with Hiromi. So why did his yearn for Haru seem to be increasing day by day? Makoto aggressively ran his hands through his hair, leaving the room for someplace safer. 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Haru woke just as the morning’s light started to filter in through the windows and sprinkle his face with sunshine. Much like a cat he stretched his limbs with a silent yawn, rubbing at his eyes. He was a bit surprised when his feet didn’t meet cold air and took quick note of the blanket covering him. Probably Makoto’s doing. Just that thought was enough to remind him of the previous night’s events. Haru twisted over and groaned silently into the blankets, his mind wide awake now. Speaking of Makoto, Haru dimly noted his absence in the room. Where was the brunette anyway? 

Despite the warmth of the bed, his curiosity soon got the better of him and Haru ended up sliding out of the bed and tiptoeing into the hall. The apartment was deathly quiet in the silence of the morning and Haru found himself treading lightly as to not stand out. It was the living room where he found Makoto, all sprawled out on the couch. It was rather an amusing sight, actually, as the piece of furniture was obviously not meant for someone as tall as Makoto to sleep on. Though turned on his side and knees tucked in, his feet still ended up hanging over the edge. His head, too, was oddly propped up on the other side, where even a pillow wasn’t probably enough to give comfort. Still, Makoto was fast asleep, his peaceful face and gentle breathing coming in clearer as he walked around the couch to stand in front of him. 

He never knew Makoto could look so sweet while sleeping. With all of his features relaxed and his mouth slightly open, he looked like the poster boy of complete innocence. It was like this that the subtle baby fat in his cheeks showed, moving slightly with each temperate breath. Haru couldn’t help the warmness rising in his cheeks the longer he stared at Makoto. Was it strange to map and memorize the precise layout of the hair framing his face? Was it odd to be transfixed by the rise and fall of his chest? Haru supposed it was, and found himself on his knees before Makoto with a pounding chest. 

Never had Haru wanted to touch Makoto so much. He wanted to grasp hands and touch skin and stroke through fluffy hair. 

“I love you, Makoto.” Haru whispered. And there wasn’t a doubt in his mind. Not now, not when he was looking at Makoto like this and could feel it. His heart was burning with adoration, with love, and he knew it was the real deal. _I want to kiss him_ … Haru stared at Makoto lips and found himself biting his own, leaning forward before he let his mind catch up with the rest of him. It would be their first, their last, their only, Haru promised. Just something to hold onto when he had to give Makoto away to somebody else. And even then, he would be sure to stay by his side. 

Because yeah, being in love meant adoring smiles and loving gazes and comforting touches. But it also meant broken hearts. For when you are truly in love with someone, you want them to be at their happiest. Even when it’s not with you. And he would do anything to keep Makoto’s smile from fading. 

Haru gently pressed his lips against Makoto’s in a small chaste kiss, lips tingling as he slowly pulled away seconds later. They were warm and chapped and held no response, but Haru didn’t care because it felt like everything it should have been with Zuki. 

“I think I’ve been in love with you my whole life.” Haru murmured, and he lost breath as he watched Makoto start to finally stir before him. Soft lashes slowly rose and Makoto yawned, eyes fogged over before gradually coming into focus. When he noticed Haru, he smiled. “Good morning, Haru.” 

“Morning, sleepy.” Bathed in radiance, his lips still tingled, and Haru couldn’t help but offer a small smile back. “Want some breakfast?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, six chapters in and I'm still blushing by all the kudos and comments i have on this! Thank you all very much for all the support you've shown me! It means a lot and keeps the words coming. <3 
> 
> Now, lets truck through this angst and get to the fluff. Haru finally is aware. Soon shits about to hit the fan. 
> 
>  
> 
> Until next time, swim safe my precious Makoharu babies. Sharks are lurking nearby.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY SORRY SORRY  
> I'm so sorry it took so long to get this chapter out to you guys! I got busy with work (and maybe procrastinated a smidge ooops) and then i went on vacation since last Thursday and didn't have any time to write on it.   
> But i finally finished it!  
> Here it is, all 14 pages of it!   
> I didn't initially intend for it to be this long but shit happens. 
> 
> Also, if there are any errors, sorry! i have to work in like 20 minutes and this JUST got finished so im pretty much slapping it on here.
> 
> Enjoy!!

“Haru, put that down.” 

“No.”

“Yes! Don’t make me tell you again. We are not having that tonight.”

“Shut up, Makoto.”

“Haru, I swear to god if you put that in the basket, I will make the smallest of cuts in one of your swimming suits, and you will never know where. You will have to live with it and suffer.” Haru glared over the pack of mackerel in his hand, trying to gage the seriousness in those lovely green eyes of his. 

“You wouldn’t dare.” 

“Do you really want to make that bet?” Haru couldn’t help but feel slightly offended as Makoto stabbed him in the back with the threat of his suits. It was a low blow. As dramatically as he could, Haru dropped the pack of fish back with others, cheeks puffed out in a pout. Not even mackerel was worth the risk.

“I don’t see what’s wrong with having mackerel.” 

“We’ve had it the last four nights I’ve been over!” 

“So? It’s good.” Really, why must Makoto be in such denial over the obvious? 

“Well, I want something else!” Makoto replied hotly, grabbing Haru by the wrist to steer him away to another isle. The touch caused Haru’s fingers to tingle and he flexed them instinctively. “We will turn into fish ourselves at this rate! Hm, well I suppose Haru already has that covered.”

“Makoto, are you calling me a fish?” Haru looked up to find playful eyes looking down at him.

“You do spend a suspicious amount of time in the water.” Makoto looked thoughtful. “But you have legs, so not quite a fish. More like a mermaid. Hey, didn’t you write that down for what you wanted to be in kindergarten?”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Haru felt his face heat up because yes, yes he had. Leave it to Makoto to not forget about it, either. “I’m going back for the mackerel.” 

“Don’t even think about it!” Makoto snagged his elbow before he could even try. “Let’s broaden our horizons! Try new things!” 

“Fine.” Haru crossed his arms. “What are we eating, then?” Makoto grabbed some rice of the shelf and added it to their shared basket. 

“Green curry!” Haru narrowed his eyes  
.   
“Isn’t that your favorite?” he accused. “How is that something new?”

“It’s not mackerel.” 

“I’m not making it.” Haru refused, looking the other way. It was Makoto’s turn to pout.

“What Haruuu…! Please?” 

“No. If we can’t have what I want, then we can’t have what you want either.” Haru didn’t care if it was selfish. He was bitter, dammit. 

“That’s not fair! Then what are we supposed to eat?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Then let’s just have curry! Please, Haru?” Makoto clapped his hands together in prayer, bending down so they would be eye level. “You haven’t made it for a while and I’ve been craving it bad. No other place can make it the way you do. Not even Mom.” Haru’s ears perked a bit at the compliment and he made the mistake of looking back at Makoto. The puppy-eyes hit him like a brick, and left him momentarily speechless, the overall cuteness getting the better of him. Nobody should be allowed to make their eyes all big and sparkly like that. It was an incredible weapon of mass destruction. 

“W-whatever.” Haru exhaled deeply, looking away again. “Fine. We can have curry.” 

“Really?” Makoto’s eyes lit up and he grinned broadly. 

“Yeah.” It wasn’t really that much of a loss, anyways. Not when he got to see Makoto so happy like that. The brunette was practically buzzing with joy, humming softly as he grabbed the rest of the ingredients Haru would need to make their dinner.

It was on Makoto’s own demand that he would pay for everything, despite Haru’s protests, and after another stare down at the register, they left the small grocery store with two bags full of groceries. 

“Is it really this late already?” Makoto groaned, staring at his phone with annoyance. “Crap, I didn’t think it would take us so long to buy groceries.” 

“You’re the one who couldn’t decide between chocolate and white cake.” Haru reminded, feeling the cake heavy in his bag. Sometimes Makoto could be as bad with his sweets as he himself could be with mackerel. Oh. Was this some kind of retribution? 

“It was a hard decision!” Makoto whined, his voice reflexive of his recent struggle. “I don’t want to make a bad impression on Hiromi-Chan’s friends! What if one doesn’t like white? What if someone is allergic to chocolate!? Someone could have died Haru.” 

“Because choosing marble solved that problem.” 

“I just want to try and make the best of both worlds. At least this way everyone gets a bit of both. Ah, bu what if someone doesn’t like cake…”

“Relax, Makoto. It’s free food. No college student is going to say no to that. You even said that Hiromi wasn’t expecting you to bring anything.”

“Yeah, I know…” Makoto chuckled, scratching his cheek with his free hand. “I just don’t want to make her look bad.” Haru stopped walking and stood on his tip-toes, reaching up to flick Makoto in the forehead. “Owwie!” 

“You’re going to get wrinkles from worrying too much. There’s nothing to worry about. You’re a great guy. They’ll like you, dumbass.” I like you plenty. 

“Haru…” A shock of electricity ran through him and curled his toes, making him bite his cheek. He thought he had gotten used to this feeling, but every time Makoto said his name like that, with care and adoration, he couldn’t help but feel a bit loss for breath. 

“W-well, unless they care about punctuality.” Haru held his hand out expectantly. “Give me your bag and get going already.”

“I can’t make you carry these by yourself!” Makoto held the bag to himself like it was something precious. 

Its two blocks, Makoto. I think I can handle it. Or are you forgetting that I usually go here for groceries?” This seemed to soften the idea a little, but Makoto still handed them over grudgingly.

“I should be over around six, then.”

“Okay. Have a good time. Don’t forget your ‘best of both words’ cake.” Haru reached into the bag and managed to somehow get it into his hands despite both of his being full.   
“Oh, right. Bye-bye, Haru! Sorry for making you carry it all.” He offered a sweet smile to go with his apology. 

“It’s nothing. Bye, Makoto.” Haru watched him backtrack the other way and turn a corner before continuing on his journey to home. Had he been able to get over Makoto smiling like that? Not in the least. A small smile crept over his lips. With nobody familiar around him, he allowed it to stay.

It had been three weeks now since he had realized that he was in love with Makoto. He had gotten used to the idea in theory quite quickly. But in practice, well, at least he was getting better. Most of the time it felt like Makoto was the wrecking ball and he was the wall getting crashed into over and over again. Haru had at least learned not to think about it too much. At least, not when he was with Makoto in person. The hardest part was Hiromi. 

When it came to her, he struggled. Being around the two of them was a lot harder now that he knew than before. He had watched enough kisses and touches and whispered secrets now to last him lifetimes. It was beginning to take its toll. Now even just being around her was enough to fill his stomach with dread and apprehension. He didn’t want to see it anymore. He wanted it to stop. He wanted Hiromi to just not exist. Of course, he knew that this desire of his was just the jealousy talking. He had to share Makoto. Haru knew this. But again, theory was a lot harder than in practice. It was also a lot less painful too.

Arriving at his house, Haru was greeted by his neighbor Lulu, a spunky 27-year-old lady with an orange pixiecut and tattoo all along her arm. Though a bit unpredictable for him, she was probably the only neighbor in his apartment complex that he liked. Not only was she a professional artist, she had two cats. He had been over several times to both learn some of her techniques and to play with the furry felines. In return, he had made her food. It was a mutual give-and-take relationship, really. 

“Oh, Haruka! Hows it goin’? Where’s your tall friend?” She currently was leaning against the railing, waiting for something to dry. 

“He had to be somewhere.” Haru replied to her, setting one of the bags down to grab his keys. Lulu eyed the bags up.

“Ah… What’s with all the food? Got a date coming over?” she winked at him. 

“No. Makoto is coming over to study. I said I’d make dinner.” 

“Saying you’re studying doesn’t make it less of a date, Harukaaaaa~” Lulu smiled, singing his name. 

“It’s more of a date than you’ve ever had.” 

“Hah! So you admit it!”

“No. I just mean your dating life sucks.” 

“Like your boyfriend.” 

“For the last time, Makoto has a girlfriend.” Haru rolled his eyes at her, kicking his door open. 

“Yeah you!”

“I hate you.” 

“I believe the word you’re looking for is ‘love’.” 

“Go home to your cats.” 

“Sourpuss.”

“…”

“Are you still coming over Tuesday?”

“Yes.” Haru slammed his door shut. Okay, so their relationship was a bit weird. Haru did actually like her though. Lulu had been kind enough to help him around Tokyo when he was still new to the area, and could even offer some deep conversation now and then. She sort of felt like an older sister. Annoying, but tolerable. Also cats. 

Lulu did, however, seem hell-bent on believing him and Makoto were currently in a relationship. Even before Haru realized his feelings, she had been so sure they were dating. Not even Haru’s assurance could deter her. Now, with him actually being in love with him, it just got that much more annoying. He had half a mind to introduce her to Hiromi just to spite her. Of course, that meant proving that Makoto really wasn’t his boyfriend, and he didn’t really want to do that either. 

Haru sighed, kicking off his shoes before making his way to the kitchen to put away the groceries. If he would have told his high school self he would be having troubles in his love-life, he would have scoffed before diving into the pool. Now look at him. In love with his best friend and nowhere to go. Haru slid the rice into the cupboard. 

He was just finishing up when his phone blared from the counter. Haru knew who it was right away because when it went off, the theme of Jaws started to play. 

“Hey Rin.” Haru said into the receiver, shutting the fridge door. 

“Haru, go on Skype!”

“What? Why?” He raised an eyebrow, taking quick notice of the excited tone in the red-heads voice. 

“Don’t ask questions, just go on! I have something exciting to tell you!”

“No way! We’re already on the phone. Just tell me now.” Rin sounded positively offended that Haru would even suggest such a thing. 

“No! Just freaking—ugh go on Skype, okay? I want to be able to see your face!” 

“You’re being stupid. I don’t get why you can’t ju-“

“Fucking GO ON SYKPE HARU!” 

Oh my god, Rin, okay chill.” Grumbling all the way, Haru made his way to his laptop and pulled open the screen.

“Was that so hard?” Haru felt his eye twitch. 

“I’m shutting the screen now.”

“No GODDAMIT HARU! I’m not asking for the world here!” 

“I’d beg to differ.” Haru shrugged, watching the little loading circle dance on his screen. 

“Just- just go on skype.” Rin’s voice came in muffled then and Haru was sure he was rubbing his face in frustration. Well, that made two of them. 

“Alright, I’m on. Oh wait, shit, I need to update.” Haru could practically see the steam coming out of Rin’s ears. 

“Are you freaking kidding me!?”

“It was a joke Rin. I was trying to be funny.”

“I hate you so much right now.” 

“I for one thought I was hilarious.” 

“The day you’re funny will be the day pigs fly.” 

“Better start flying.” There was a silence, then: 

“Goddamn Haru! Who’s been messing with your swimsuit?” 

“It’s been a rough couple of weeks.” Haru answered honestly. “Now are you going to video chat me or not because either way I’m hanging up.” 

“Oh right!” seconds later a green calling circle appeared on the screen, followed by ringing. Haru hung up his cell phone just as the lines connected and Rin’s face came into view. “Hey Haru.” He grinned, waving at the camera. 

“So what’s so important that you must see my face?” 

“Alright, so do you remember when you came with me to Australia and the Olympic team was there swimming?” It was rather hard for him to forget the place where he had discovered his dream, but he decided to humor Rin and nodded along. That guy who had the curly blonde hair? Yeah I raced him. Guess what else? I won.” Rin flashed his shark teeth in triumph. “It was so cool!” Haru’s eyes widened. 

“Seriously?” his ears peaked a little in interest. He could still remember the head of the blood rushing through his veins, the shake of his hands from the nerves, the excitement, just from standing on the platform beside them. 

“You bet your ass I did! I mean, it was only by like a second but hey, every moment counts. When we finished he even congratulated me! I may never wash my hand again…” Rin looked at it like it was his most prized possession. 

“Nice. Still can’t beat me though.” Haru grinned, knowing he sounded way cockier than he should. On a normal basis, the two of them were pretty evenly matched. Jokes on Rin though the water still liked him better.

“Heh, we’ll see about that. Next time we race I’ll be leaving you in the dust.”

“As if!” Haru could already feel the fire in his eyes. He was itching to go swim now. 

“Anyways, that’s my news.” Rin smiled, laying his chin in his hand. “What about you? You mentioned earlier it’s been rough.” Haru found himself biting his lip, avoiding his eyes.   
“It’s nothing.” Rin, obviously, didn’t buy it. 

“Does this have anything to do with Makoto getting a girlfriend?” Haru widened his eyes in surprise. 

“How did you know that?” 

“Because unlike _you_ , Makoto calls me up once and a while.” Haru noticed the bitterness in his voice and quickly made a mental note to call Rin more often. “Is that really what’s been bothering you?”

“No.” Haru replied quickly. A bit too quickly.

“Haru.” Rin said seriously. 

“No Rin, really. It’s nothing. Sorry I mentioned anything.” 

“You’re good at a lot of things, Haru, but lying really isn’t one of them.” Rin pulled his hair back with his fingers, holding it like a ponytail, before letting it go to reframe around his face. “So what’s up? Is she a bitch or something?” 

“No.” Haru sighed heavily. “Not really. She treats him well.” 

“Then what?” Haru fidgeted with his fingers, his stomach in knots. He forgot how much Rin liked to pry. He was regretting more and more with each breath he took. 

“Don’t worry about it Rin.” 

“Well of course I’m going to worry about it!” he gestured at the screen angrily. “Look at you. The moment I mentioned Makoto’s girlfriend you all but curled up into a ball. What happened? Are they spending too much time together without you or something? Get canceled on? Does she not like to swim?” Haru narrowed his eyes.

“That isn’t it.” Rin slapped his face to his hand. 

“Have I ever told you that sometimes it’s easier to talk to a brick wall than you?”

“Yes.” 

“Good.” Haru couldn’t help but make a small smile, which Rin joined in with his own. “So are you going to tell me what’s wrong or not?”

“Probably not.”

“It’s not healthy to keep things bottled up, ya know.”

“Thanks mom.” Haru rolled his eyes, all the while still appreciating Rin’s concern. 

“Hey, I mean it. If this Hir-whatever is bothering you, I’m sure Makoto would like to know too.”

“Don’t you dare bother him with it, Rin. It’s not something he can fix, anyways.” 

“Haru, are you jealous?” Though Haru did expect the question to more or less come up, he didn’t expect his body to flinch at the question. It was a dead giveaway and Rin noticed right away. “I thought you said he wasn’t ditching you.” 

“He’s not.” Haru insisted. Rin raised an eyebrow. “No really, Rin. He’s even coming over tonight to study. Big exam or whatever. Besides, it’s his life. I don’t need to be part of every single second. I really don’t care that he’s spending time with her.”

“Then I don’t get it!” Rin leaned back in his chair, looking positively flustered. “What the fuck is the problem?”

“I told you. Don’t worry about it.” Looking at the webcam, Rin narrowed his eyes, more than likely hunting for the answers Haru refused to give. Haru stared him down, pressing his palms tightly together under the table in attempt to calm himself. He willed Rin to let it go, to let his curiosity evaporate into nothing. Stay out of his business, just this once. Please. Rin reached for something in front of him. 

“I’m calling Makoto.” 

“What? No!” Haru suddenly found himself on his feet, chair teetering before finally resting back in its spot. “Rin you can’t!” His legs felt like jelly and his hands shook no matter how firmly he pressed them against the desk’s surface. Shit, he was not ready for this. If Rin called Makoto, he’d lose. He’d have to tell, have to confess. Because the moment Makoto would learn that something was wrong, he would never let it go. And then where would their friendship go? Fuck, he was so not ready for this! He wasn’t ready to think about all the complications and consequences the truth would bring. There was so many unknowns and unsures, all with questions that he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer to. Silence was always better, always safer. Why did Rin always have to shove him right into chaos? 

“And why the hell can’t I?” Rin was looking at him like he had gathered enough evidence to be actually concerned. “This obviously concerns him and he should know whatever is bothering you!”

“Because I don’t want him to freaking know, okay?” Haru took a sharp breath in, anxiously running his hand through his hair. 

“Why can’t you tell me, then!?” 

“I just…. Can’t.” Because telling someone else made things a lot more terrifying and real. It was so much safer when everything- his emotions, his fantasies, his truths- were kept inside. He was afraid that if he opened the lid, it could no longer be contained. The leak would spread and spread until he suffocated in it and then Makoto would be gone, lost forever in the smoke that Haru had created. 

“Then I’m calling Makoto!” 

“Rin please.” Haru begged, his eyes bright. “All calling will do is worry him and I can’t do it, I just can’t tell him, okay? Telling him will ruin everything.” Rin’s gaze softened towards him and the red-head set the phone aside. 

“He’s your best friend, Haru. I’m sure you can tell him anything.” 

“Not this Rin.” Haru buried his face in his hands. “I just can’t.”

“You’re really starting to worry me, Haru…” Rin leaned forward into his camera, his face serious. “Did she get you involved in something illegal?” the accusation surprised Haru so much that he looked up.

“What the? No!”

“If you’re honest with me we can work it out together.” Well, at least he knew he could always count on Rin to bail him out of jail. 

I didn’t fucking break the law, Rin.”

“Shesh, it was just a question. What about just her then. Did you somehow find out that she is a secret hooker?”

“No.” 

“I know! She’s a secret thief looking for her next sugar daddy.” Where did Rin even get some of his ideas? Jesus he sounded like Nagisa.

“ _No_.” Rin paused for a moment. 

“Haru. Did you sleep with her?”

“God _no_!” Haru shouted angrily. 

“Then what is it!? I’m getting sick of tiptoeing around the topic! We’ve been friends for years, Haru! Open up to me for once, goddammit! Am I really that untrustworthy? What have I done for you not to believe I can keep a secret? I’m not going to call him up the moment we stop talking and tell him. I’m not that kind of guy! I wouldn’t betray your trust like that! If you really think that all our friendship amounts to is a couple laps in the pool then you really need to sort out your pri-“ 

“I like him, okay!?” Haru couldn’t listen to Rin any longer, not when Rin was starting to take things personally. “…I like him.” Rin stopped with his mouth partially open, looking at Haru as if he had just turned into a fish right before his eyes. 

“When you say like…” Rin started, his eyes wide with what? Shock? Wonder? Anticipation? Disgust?

“I’m in love with him, Rin.” It was the first time he had said it to somebody besides himself and it left him with a sort of light-headed feeling. “I’m… in love with Makoto.” 

“For real?” Rin covered his mouth, leaning back to stare at the ceiling before looking back at Haru. “You’re not joking with me, right Haru? This isn’t some red herring or whatever to distract me from the truth?” Haru shook his head.

Rin’s response was to burst into laughter, leaning into his palm for support while Haru was left blinking at him. It was by far not what he had expected and it left him feeling uneasy. Confusion? Yes. Discomfort? Probably. Disbelieving? He hadn’t even believed it at first. But laughter? It made him feel like he had just made the biggest mistake in his life. 

“Of all the things, this wasn’t what I expected.” Rin admitted as his laughter died down, rubbing his nose. “But I wouldn’t say I’m that surprised.” 

“… What do you mean?” he asked, confused at the comment. 

“Call it… a hunch.” When Haru remained silent, he added, “Look, you and Makoto are… closer than most people. It’s not that much of a stretch to believe it, to be honest. He’s the only one your eyes light up for besides water and mackerel. Yes, I have noticed.” Haru felt his cheeks burn hot. 

“Oh.” After shifting his eyes to the bottom left-hand side of the screen, Haru found courage to look Rin back in the eyes. “You’re not… weirded out?” Rin snorted. 

“About what? You being gay for your best friend? Last time I checked, I’ve been there, done that.” Haru couldn’t help but lose a small smile at that. 

“I suppose you’re right.” Little by little, Haru could feel the stress of the conversation melt away. He no longer felt like his entire world was going to be destroyed. Instead, it almost felt… good to have told Rin. Like a weight that had only rested firmly on his shoulders had been distributed so that Rin held some of it now too. 

“So how did it happen? When did you realize you felt this way?” 

“I got kissed by a girl.” If Rin would have been drinking something, Haru was sure that he would have sprayed the liquid all over his screen. Instead, he ended up sputtering. 

“You _what_?” 

“It’s a long story.” Haru shrugged. “I don’t really feel like talking about it. All that really matters is that when she kissed me… I hated it. It felt so wrong, Rin. Like I was swimming in quicksand instead of water. It wasn’t what I wanted. So… I thought of what I did want. All I could think of was Makoto. And then I kinda just figured it out from there.” 

“How long ago was that?”

“Around three weeks ago.” Rin whistled. 

“Nearly a month, huh?” Haru shook his head at that. No, that sounded wrong.

“I think I’ve been in love with Makoto for longer. He’s… always been the most important person to me. It’s just because of Hiromi that I’ve realized what exactly this feeling is.” He smirked a little. “I never knew until she came into the picture that you could hate somebody so much just for existing.”

“Somehow I always pictured you as the jealous type.” Rin grinned. “You get strangely possessive over your things. I guess Makoto is no exception.”

“You really are an ass, Rin.”

“And you’re in love~” Covering his mouth and looking away, Haru did his best to hide the expression on his face as his eyes brightened from Rin’s words. God he still couldn’t figure out if telling Rin was the best or worse decision of his life. 

“…shut up.” He mumbled. “Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I got it. Mums the word!”

“I mean it Rin. Not even Sousuke.” Haru narrowed his eyes to show he meant business. “If you tell anyone I’m never talking to you again. You can forget swimming at the Olympics together.”  
“Jeeze, alright already! Have some faith, man. I can hold my tongue long enough for you to tell him, at least.” Haru found himself focusing on the keyboard in front of him in a very loud silence. “You… are planning on telling him, right?” 

“Not really.” His voice felt very small compared to Rin’s boisterous one. 

“Jesus Christ, Haru! You can’t keep this a secret forever.” 

“I can try.” Rin stared at him with disbelief. “I’m not going to confess to him, Rin.” 

“I don’t believe this. So what, you’re going to live in a one-sided love forever?” 

“That’s the plan.” Haru hugged himself tightly, feeling a chill up his body. 

“You have to tell him, Haru.” Rin continued to press. “He would want to know…”

“Maybe. But no good would come out of it.” 

“That’s bullshit! You never know if you don’t try.” 

“No, Rin. I can’t…” He felt as if he had said it a million times now. Why couldn’t Rin accept that it was impossible, just as he already had? “It would be a disaster.”

“Says who? What I don’t get is why you’re making Makoto look like an unaccepting ass! All you’ve done so far is put words in his mouth about something he doesn’t even know about. You don’t even know his feelings on the matter-” 

“And what would you know about it, Rin!?” Haru spat, getting angry now. When Rin knew nothing of what he felt, understood nothing of the situation… “I just- I can’t tell Makoto about this…! Stop pretending you understand-“

“I obviously understand more than you!” 

“No you don’t!” Haru felt tears stinging in his eyes now, hot and angry and painful. “He’s with someone, Rin! He’s happy and in love with someone else! I can’t just go and confess to him! It won’t work out and then nothing will be the same between us. I don’t want things to change, dammit, I want to keep staying by his side! If that means things will suck for me, then so be it! I don’t want to lose him, Rin. I love him. I love him so damn much I can’t stand it...” 

“Haru…” the look on Rin’s face did nothing but worsen how he felt. 

“I’m going to go take a bath…” Haru murmured, grabbing the top of the screen. “Thanks for telling me about your news. I’m proud of you.” He didn’t even wait for a goodbye before he closed his laptop.

 

~~~

 

To his displeasure, the soak in the tub didn’t do much to fix how crappy he felt. It pruned his toes, warmed up his insides, but no matter how long he sat there he couldn’t shake the constriction surrounding his throat. It was as if he had swallowed lead and couldn’t quite get it down. That didn’t stop him from trying, of course. He sat in the bath until it was nearing 5 and would soon be too late to finish his and Makoto’s meal on time. By then the hot water he had chosen to soak in had turned lukewarm, almost cold. Haru drained it in sorrow, despite finding the air a bit more comfortable. 

With a towel loosely around his hips, Haru changed into something comfortable before making his way to the kitchen to prepare dinner. On the way he glanced at his phone and found two calls and three missed messages waiting for him. All of them were from Rin. 

Come on Haru, call me back! Along with the two missed calls, the first message was dated around the same time Haru had hung up on him. The next message was sent about ten minutes later.  
Look, I’m sorry Haru. I guess I really don’t understand. But I want to. Call me back, okay? The last message had sent around an hour ago. 

I just want you to be happy. Haru sighed heavily, distracting himself momentarily by turning the burner on before looking back at the message. Rin’s sentiment on the situation warmed him up a bit on the inside, made the block in his throat feel a bit more manageable. It was nice to know that he had support from someone. It was more than he had expected. 

Don’t worry about it. Was the reply he sent back, pulling out his apron as he did so. And then, with another thought, he sent a second message. Thanks, Rin. Because really, he was thankful. Thankful that Rin had accepted his feelings without a second thought. Thankful that he was willing to listen, to help. It made him feel like he no longer was in the corner all by himself . While he still wasn’t so sure about having another person know about his feelings, he was more than grateful to have such an amazing friend at his side. 

 

 

Makoto texted him about 10 minutes till 6, letting him know he’d be there shortly. This put Haru in a slightly better mood, as the thought of Makoto generally did. He wouldn’t let his own personal feelings get in the way of their precious time together. Putting the curry to a low simmer, just enough to keep it warm, he stood on the tips of his toes to reach for plates. Honestly, he really had to stop letting Makoto put the dishes away when he came over. His arms could only reach so far. 

When he finally did manage to get them down, he placed one at each end of the table, next pouring a glass of milk for Makoto and water for himself. Haru was just giving the rice another stir when the doorbell rang. His heart fluttered a bit out of reflex.

After double-tapping the spoon on the side of the pot, Haru wiped his hands on the front of his apron and quickly walked through the apartment to answer the door. On the other side he was greeted with the face of Makoto, expression as bright and soft as ever. 

“Hey, Haru.” Something was wrong. Haru had nothing to go off, no basis or reason that could be proven, but even so he could tell that something about Makoto was off. He was smiling a bit too wide. Those green eyes were a bit too bright. And the air around him. It felt way too heavy compared to what Haru was used to. 

“Hey.” Haru stepped aside, letting Makoto into his home. He watched him carefully, trying not to look too obvious. “The curry is pretty much ready.”

“Yum!” Maybe he was overthinking it. Perhaps the conversation with Rin earlier had messed with his senses. Makoto looked fine now, putting his shoes beside the door and humming as he went to take a sneak peek of the coming meal. “Oh, Haru, it smells so good!” 

“What are you, a kid?” Haru smirked as Makoto began bouncing on the balls of his feet. Yes, it had to have been his imagination. Makoto was fine. “Sit down and I’ll serve it to you.” Doing as Haru asked, Makoto sat down while he messed with a couple of knobs, did some last minute stirring, and pulled off his apron to set on the counter. Makoto licked his lips from the side.

“It’s hot.” Haru warned, scooping some rice onto his plate. It was followed closely by the green curry sauce. “So don’t just go scarfing it into your mouth like some wild animal.”

“I promise to behave like a perfect gentleman.” Makoto smiled, raising his right hand. “Scouts honor.”

“Hmph. Well, just in case, here’s some napkins.” Haru dropped a large stack of them in the center of the table. As he reached over to serve himself, he couldn’t help but watch Makoto scoop up his first bite. The moan that followed was enough to make Haru’s cheeks burn pink. 

“Delicious!” the brunette praised, already scooping up another spoonful. “It tastes amazing, Haru!” Haru set the pan back on the stove and took his seat across from Makoto, refusing now to look at him. 

“It’s just green curry.” Makoto didn’t seem to think so though, not the way he was packing it away. He was slurping it up almost like soup. Haru made a mental note to pack up the leftovers for him to take home. 

Comparatively Haru ate slower, nibbling at his curry. It was silent at first, and Haru didn’t mind it much. Comfortable silences were something the two of them were used to. But after a while of just looking at his food- and sometimes Makoto- Haru decided he might as well start up some kind of conversation. 

“So, how was Hiromi’s?” and just like that, everything dropped. Haru could feel the tension in the room increase from nothing to static, all of it surrounding Makoto. He bit his lip, squirmed in his seat, and worst of all avoided Haru’s eyes entirely. Haru couldn’t even find a speck of green glancing in his direction. Instead it all seemed to focus on the half-eaten plate in front of him. 

“It went fine!” He chuckled then, and Haru lost his appetite. Makoto was lying to him. It was obvious, plain as day. He didn’t even need the words to tell. Not when he could read Makoto just as well as the brunette could read him. “Her friends were really nice.” 

“And the cake?”

“Eaten with no casualties.” He smiled at Haru, but Haru could tell it was forced. It was as if he was putting on an act, pretending that everything was okay. Something had happened. Haru was sure of it. But what? His immediate thought was Rin, and his heart pounded in response. Rin hadn’t… told Makoto, had he? 

Haru watched Makoto take a hesitating bite as anxiety filled his system. The way Makoto was behaving, it definitely made sense. Awkward, a bit off, and hiding something. It wasn’t that much out of character for Rin to jump right into things. But he had to have taken Haru’s feelings into account before doing something so rash, wouldn’t he? 

Now his stomach felt like mush. Where part of him believed that Rin wouldn’t do that to him, the other part assured him that that had to be the reason Makoto was behaving so weird. What else could it be? He moved a piece of rice with his spoon. Haru felt like he was going to throw up. 

“Makoto-“

“Haru, sorry, I have to go to the bathroom.” Blinking, Haru could do nothing but watch as Makoto stood up and quickly left the table. You’re kidding. Haru set his spoon down and pressed the back of his thumb to his mouth, thinking hard. _Does he know does he know does he know_

Sitting soon became too much and Haru was on his feet, dumping the remaining food into the trash and setting it in the sink. Maybe he was just jumping to conclusions. Maybe Makoto didn’t know. Maybe whatever it was had nothing to do with him at all. After all, it wasn’t until he mentioned Hiromi that Makoto really started acting weird. Maybe she did something… 

Haru dropped the dish irritably. Why was his entire world made of maybes lately? He was sick of them! They were heavy, unbearably crushing. Everything would be easier if he just knew and didn’t have to guess. He wouldn’t have to be trying to avoid invisible pitfalls. 

“Haru, I heard a crash, is everything okay?” Makoto was back now, peering over at him curiously. He looked a bit more composed now, like he hadn’t just had to run off to the bathroom. “Finished eating already?”

“Yeah, sorry, I just… dropped a dish.” 

“You didn’t cut yourself, did you?”

“No. It didn’t crack.” Probably a good thing, too. The plates were his grandmothers, after all. 

“Okay.” Makoto walked over and grabbed his plate, about a ¼ of curry left on it. “I think I’m finished too.” Haru looked at him in surprise. 

“Are you sure? You can keep eating, if you’d like.” Makoto shook his head. 

“I’m not really hungry anymore.” Eyeing Makoto up suspiciously, Haru took the plate from him.

“I’ll wrap the leftovers up for you to take home, then.”

“Thanks Haru.” Ah, there was a genuine Makoto smile now. It made him feel a bit better, knowing that whatever was wrong, Makoto could still give him one. He started running the water. “Do you want help with the dishes?”

“No, it’s fine.” Haru shook his head. “I’m just going to let these soak.” 

“Alright, then I’ll go set up in the living room. You said you needed my English notes, right?” Haru couldn’t help but make a face in disgust. 

“Yeah.” Even if they were going to different schools, the language was the same. Besides, he needed all the help he could get. Why couldn’t everyone just speak Japanese for god’s sake? But because he was planning on competing all over the world one day, his couch required him to take it.

“I’ll grab them, then.” While Makoto left to prepare the living room for studying, Haru set to taking the leftover rice and curry off from the pans and poured them into their own separate containers. He set them in the fridge, then grabbing the glasses and spoons and putting them in the sink along with their plates. Not really feeling in the mood to scrub, Haru just left the pans on the stove. 

“How many notes do you have?” Haru made a distressed noise, walking into the living room and finding a rather large pile of notes waiting for him. Fuck, was he expected to read all of these? He’d much rather read a dictionary. 

“Huh?” Makoto looked at him, previously having been glancing at his phone. “Oh, yeah. I take a lot of notes.” 

“No freaking kidding.” Haru walked over after grabbing his backpack from beside the door. “It’s going to take me hours to read those.”

“The highlighted stuff is what’s most important.” Makoto said, trying to be helpful.

“Makoto. It’s all highlighted.” Rolling his eyes, Haru took a seat across from his over-achieving best friend. “I hate this stupid language. Do they really need to have so many words that contradict each other?”

“Just work on memorizing.” Makoto, the poor soul, was leaning over a math textbook as big as his head and as wide as his hand. “It’ll get easier. Maybe do some practice sessions with Rin.” Haru’s heart skipped a beat. 

“Hey… Makoto, speaking of Rin. Have you… talked to him lately?” Makoto looked up from his book, his eyebrows creasing in thought. 

“Maybe a week ago? Why? Did something happen?” Haru felt his shoulders relax. 

“No. He just called me today with some news. I was wondering if he told you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. He said he won a race against an Olympic swimmer the other day.” 

“Really? That’s great! I’ll have to give him a call…” Makoto seemed to pin it at the back of his mind for later. “Wow, he must have been really happy.”

“He was.” Haru fiddled with a corner of Makoto’s notebook. So Makoto didn’t know. Whatever was wrong, he really had nothing to do it. Ease filled him, and Haru found it much easier to focus on the notes in his lap. Haru wasn’t going to force Makoto to talk to him about what was bugging him, not if he didn’t want to talk about it. It was sort of a mutual understanding the two of them had created over the years. They always meant for each other to be an oasis, a sanctuary to get away from the stress of everyone else. It was a secret promise only between them. They would always be each other’s peace. With this in mind, Haru began working on the notes in front of him. 

“Hey, Makoto, what does this English word mea-“ but Haru stopped in his tracks as he looked up, his question no longer feeling important as he watched Makoto rapidly wipe at his eyes. He couldn’t miss the tears starting to slide down Makoto’s face. 

“S-sorry…!” Makoto wipes became aggressive with the realization that he had been caught. “Haru, I’m sorry.”

“Makoto what’s wrong?” Haru pushed his books aside and crawled closer, kneeling beside him with uneasiness. He had known something was wrong, but hadn’t realized it was to this caliber. Why? Why was Makoto crying? If there was anything he couldn’t take, it was this. Nothing could be a greater sin. Makoto was always meant to be smiling and happy and bright. Nobody was allowed to make Makoto cry. 

“I didn’t want to do this to you…” Makoto was sniffing now, and he lost all effort in wiping his face. Instead he clutched his knees, hands trembling. Haru stared at them and struggled to swallow. “It’s not your problem… but Haru, I don’t know what to do!”

At the sound of anguish in Makoto’s voice, Haru reached out and clutched the others forearm with a sudden need to touch. He held it tightly, hoping that some kind of warmth would spread to Makoto and give him comfort, let him know that he didn’t need to worry, that Haru was right there with him…

“What happened?” He hoped that his voice sounded strong despite how his insides were trembling. 

“I hurt Hiromi-chan.” Makoto’s voice shook as he used his palm to wipe at one of his eyes. “I hurt her really bad!”

“What do you mean, hurt her?” Haru placed his other hand on Makoto’s wrist, giving it a gentle squeeze. When Makoto didn’t reply, Haru spoke again, much more softly. “It’ll be okay, Makoto. I’m here for you. Go on.” He hooked his fingers through Makoto’s. “I’m listening.”

Makoto sniffed and shifted, fingers tightly curling around Haru’s immediately. 

“Haru, I’m so horrible…” Makoto whispered. “I’ve been so unfair. Hiromi-chan… Hiromi-chan said she loved me.” 

“She… did?” 

“But I messed up!” Makoto’s lip trembled. “I couldn’t say it back. She looked at me, waiting, and I couldn’t say it! I feel awful! And now she won’t even reply to me.” Fresh tears started making their way down Makoto’s cheeks as he fidgeted with something on the other side of him. Haru recognized it as Makoto’s phone. Had he been texting her all this time? He had noticed Makoto on his phone once or twice, but hadn’t thought anything of it. “I don’t know what to do, Haru… I don’t know how to make this better…!” A choked sob escaped between Makoto’s lips and it made his body go cold.

“Makoto…” In a swift motion Haru was releasing Makoto’s hands and straddling his lap, sliding his palms along wet cheeks. Makoto looked so lost, so sad… He would have done anything in that moment to make such a precious face become happy again. With a careful touch he weaved his fingers into Makoto’s hair and pulled him close, burying his best friend’s face into his chest. “It’ll be okay.” Hot arms wrapped around Haru’s waist, tightly holding on. 

Pressed against him like this, Haru could feel Makoto shaking. His body, usually so naturally strong and stable, felt as if it was going to crumble into a million pieces. 

“I wanted to say it,” Makoto continued, voice muffled against him. “It’s just three simple words! But I couldn’t- couldn’t do it!” Why couldn’t you? Haru wanted to know, wanted to ask. He had always assumed that they had already gotten passed this stage. Makoto was always loving things- cats, swimming, chocolate- so why was it this hard for him? Were he and Hiromi not as close as he thought? 

“I didn’t think this could hurt so much...!”Haru pet back the fluff of Makoto’s hair with a shushing noise. _I love you Makoto. I love you, please stop crying_. 

“I’m sure,” Haru swallowed, hating what he was saying, hating the way it tore him up inside. But he wanted to make Makoto feel better. He had to. “You and Hiromi will work things out. You care about her, don’t you?” 

“Yeah.” Makoto’s fingertips dug into his back, his voice shaking. “I-I do.”

“Then make sure she knows that.” Haru could feel himself dying, piece by piece. He hoped Rin could understand now. 

“I’m so sorry, Haru…” Makoto whispered again, his voice sounding broken. Haru didn’t understand what he was apologizing for. 

“Makot-“ the both of them jumped as Makoto’s phone suddenly vibrated on the carpet next to them, completely breaking Haru’s train of thought. Makoto pulled away slightly, eyes red and wet, as he reached for it. Haru leaned his forehead against Makoto’s as **Hiromi** stared back up at them. 

 

_We need to talk, face-to-face_. 

 

Makoto exhaled with closed eyes, leaning against Haru for support. 

“I should go.” To his obvious words, Haru said nothing, didn’t even move. He wished Makoto wouldn’t go, wouldn’t leave him. But he knew Makoto would. And Haru had no reason to stop him. He wished he did. “Thank you, Haru.” Makoto reached up, pushed some of Haru’s hair back, and kissed him on the edge of his forehead. “I appreciate you so much.” 

Haru held back his own sob now as Makoto grabbed him by the hips, sliding him off his lap onto the floor. Makoto wiped his eyes twice more. Haru curled his knees in. He hugged them close.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t study.” Makoto grabbed his bag, stuffing things inside. “But I’ll leave my notes for you, okay?” Haru simply nodded. 

The last thing Makoto grabbed was his phone, reading the message one more time before going to his shoes. 

“I’ll call you.” And Makoto was gone, papers still scattered on the floor. He hadn’t even grabbed his curry. 

Haru hid his face in the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that got angsty. 
> 
> I should let you guys know i might be a bit more spotty on updates since im going camping next week mon-wed, and I'm working so much. I'll do my best! 
> 
> Until whenever!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i made a comment below that i would have the next chapter up no later than Saturday. It is 11:29 pm. it COUNTS. 
> 
>  
> 
> "The happiness we'll grasp together is surely close by."  
> -Makoto in "Always Here"

The train smelled like old newspaper. The child across the way was screaming bloody murder. His ass had a cramp. 

Haru was not happy. Makoto knew this too. 

“Look, Haru-chan, it’s a lake!” Makoto pointed out through the glassed window. “Doesn’t the water look pretty?”

“Hm.” Ignoring the use of –chan, Haru leaned on his arm and made a point to look in the exact opposite direction. 

“Come on, Haruka-Kun,” Hiromi playfully gave him a shove at the shoulders. “There’s no use pouting now. You’re already here with us, might as well enjoy the view!” If looks could kill, Hiromi would have been dead in an instant. Well, that certainly would solve things. 

“I’m fine, thanks.” And why exactly was he here with the two of them in the first place? Because Hiromi wanted to go get a one-of-a-kind figurine from some thrift-store out on the outskirts of Tokyo and wanted Makoto to come with, who in turn wanted Haru to come. His strict reasoning, was, of course, that the store she wanted to go to looked haunted. And because he was a boy in love, so whipped that he didn’t even need to see Makoto in person to be _persuaded_ , he agreed.

So here he was, sitting on a train for three hours with the love of his life and his girlfriend, going to some sketchy store in a town none of them had ever visited before. Yes, best freaking Sunday ever. Even if it was his only day off from practice, a day set aside specifically so he could _rest_ … Ugh! Dammit he was _irritated_! He needed a swim. The lake Makoto had pointed out looked pretty tempting right about now. 

“That’s no way to talk, Mr. Grumpy gills!” Hiromi, apparently, was hell-bent on making Haru have a good time. Well, good luck with that. “Think of this as some sort of an adventure!”

“Yeah!” Makoto nodded along. “Like when we were six and Mom hid that buried treasure for us to find in the backyard. Except this time it’s hidden in a, uh, castle. ...And we have to pay for it.”

“Oh yeah?” Haru looked over at him with a raised eyebrow. “Then where is your newspaper hat and cowboy boots? A good explorer doesn’t leave home without them.” 

“You wore _what_?” Embarrassment flushed Makoto’s face and Haru couldn’t help but smile despite his best efforts. Six-year-old Makoto wearing a hat colored (badly) with green crayon and shiny brown cowboy boots a bit too big for him- it was definitely a picture to remember. Good thing the Tachibana’s had copies.

“We were _little_ , Haru! Besides, you wore the hat too! But Mom made yours too big so it kept falling over your eyes.” Makoto chuckled. “That was back when you were still taller than me.”

“Wait, hold on a minute.” Hiromi looked like she had just struck gold. “You were taller than Mako-kun?” Haru narrowed daggers at her as she started to laugh. It was around nine years ago but he was still bitter about losing out to Makoto. “I can’t even picture this! I always just assumed you were a giant, babe.” 

“Well Haru is a couple months older, so he was bigger for a while. But then we hit middle school and I shot up there while Haru just kinda…” Makoto made a so-so motion with his hand. 

“Simmered? Dwindled? Never truly grew a pair?” Hiromi finished, trying to help. Makoto nodded solemnly. 

“He didn’t grow into our middle school uniform until the last year.” 

“I fucking hate both of you.” With a pout Haru retrained his gaze back to the window. For the record, those uniforms were _huge_. Only someone big like Makoto could make them look somewhat normal. Middle school was filled with him tripping over the hem of his pants and constantly shoving the sleeves up his arm. Thank god he grew up enough to fit into his high school uniform. 

“Well I think you grew up very nice, Haruka-kun.” Hiromi smiled. “Besides, anybody who stands next to this guy is bound to be thought of as short.” She thumbed a direction towards Makoto. “I always feel like a little kid next to him.” 

“Yeah.” Okay, this was something Haru could get on board with. “Or an ant.” It’s not that he didn’t really like that Makoto was tall, though. Actually, he kind of liked it. When Makoto stood at his side it gave him a sense of reassurance and comfort that could only really come with someone being bigger than you. Need that lightbulb changed? Makoto had your back. Can’t find him? No not Makoto he always had his head poking out in the crowd. What about the top shelf? Makoto could it down in a heartbeat. No more climbing on the counter for you. Not to mention that despite his appearance, Makoto was the biggest softy in the world.

It wasn’t always all fun and sunshine, though. For one, Makoto’s strides were like two of his and keeping up with him often involved Makoto slowing down, and for another, restraining him from doing something was about as easy as shoving a wall. But even so Haru still loved to share his clothes, loved having to stand on his tippy toes to reach for his nose or ears or whatever was in need of teasing. And by far his hugs were the best. He could nestle right under Makoto’s chin and burry himself in the warmth of Makoto’s arms. No, Haru would definitely not change Makoto’s height for the world. 

“Guysss…” With a whine-like noise Makoto slid down his seat while he covered his face with his fingers. Haru could see his ears burning red. “Is it really that bad?”

“Aww, we’re just teasing.” Hiromi reached over to run her fingers through his hair. “I love each inch of you, even the extra inches.” Haru clenched his fists as Makoto gave a weak smile.

The situation with Hiromi wasn’t fixed. Not really. When Makoto had called him the next morning after their failed study session, his voice was heavy and cracking as if he hadn’t slept well. 

Hiromi and he had, apparently, spent much of the night talking. About what, Haru wasn’t really sure. Makoto didn’t really want to talk about the details. But he did know two things. The two of them were still together, and Hiromi was no longer going to pressure him into saying I love you until he was ready. When he would be ready, though, was the question. The simple thought of Makoto saying that to someone else made him miserable. Haru hoped in every selfish way that the moment for that never came. 

“Ooo, I think I see it!” Hiromi broke the semi-uncomfortable silence she had created with her own voice, making a visor with her had to peer out the window. “Limited 2nd edition BooBoo bunny here I come!” 

“We’re going all this way for a _bunny_?” 

“Shut up, Haruka-kun, you collect swimming suits.” And Haru couldn’t even argue back because he had her there. But his situation had to be different because at least he wore his suits. He was wearing one now. Yup, so not the same. 

“We are now arriving at Tekichuu Village of Nagano prefecture.” Haru wiggled his toes, itching to get off the seat and do something. Even if it was to get a collectable bunny. 

“My joints are so stiff!” Makoto stretched his arms above his head. “I’m never going to complain about commuting to your house again, Haru. Imagine if we were this far away.” Like hell Haru could survive such a distance, but he just shrugged in response as the train slowed to a stop.

They all hopped up at about the same time, eager to get out of the claustrophobic walls and breathe in some fresh air. Makoto led the way, following an older lady and her husband and the lady who had finally managed to shush her son to sleep in her arms. Whereas Tokyo’s stations were massive and filled with people, the station here was borderline empty. Minus the employees, there was, at most, ten people wondering around the area. The walls seemed to be some cheap brick, stone already chipped off, and the tiles of the floor were scuffed over with dirt, rust, and constant wear. What made the most impression was probably the lady sitting on a cooler smoking a cigarette. Obviously, this town was out in the boonies. Haru was a bit surprised they had a station out here. 

The plaza outside the station was a bit better off in terms of quality. Upon entering the unfamiliar city, they were abruptly greeted with a large red and white sign that read ‘Welcome to Tekichuu Village’ with a painted basket of apples faded to its side. 

Overall, in comparison to Tokyo, it was actually quite quaint. Little shops with handmade signs and decorated with flowers all smiled at them. It almost reminded him of Iwatobi with its rather simple architecture and smaller buildings, but a bit sparser. 

“Which way is it?” Makoto asked with a glance towards Hiromi, watching as she pulled out her Iphone to navigate. They were all sort of dancing about, trying to stretch out their limbs from sitting for so long. 

“Let’s see…” she pushed some hair out of her face. “We’re supposed to follow this main road a couple of blocks and then turn left at Jace Avenue.”

“Sounds easy enough.” Haru made a sour face in a different direction as the two met in the middle to hold hands. A lady holding a basket of apples looked at him funny. “Coming Haru?”

“Is there really anything else to do?” Haru replied grumpily and Makoto had the _audacity_ to chuckle at him. And not in a normal way, either. It was in that very cute way of his where he covered his mouth with his knuckles to try and prevent a smile that already formed, all the while the corners of his eyes creasing in enjoyment. Stupid Makoto, being adorable and making his heart go all pitter-patter like that. It was completely uncalled for, especially since he was still mad at him. 

“Fair enough.” And in actuality, there really wasn’t much to this town, made evident as they walked down what was supposed to be the highlight of the area. Even Iwatobi had a swimming club for its residents. All he noticed that was even remotely interesting here was a shabby looking bait shop and that was only because there was dancing lit up fish on the door next to the word open. Haru would have bet all his spending money that there was mackerel inside that shop. Of course, all he got to do was bet since Makoto said he couldn’t go inside.

“If you get fish it’ll just spoil on the way home!”

“Yeah, well you’ll spoil!” 

“That doesn’t even make any sense!” 

“Girls, girls. You’re both pretty. Let’s keep moving.” 

But, Haru supposed, the town did seem to thrive on one thing. Apples. Lots and lots of apples. He wished he was kidding, but really, he wasn’t. Apples in baskets, apples in widows, crappily named apple themed stores, apple decorations, kids playing with apples, throwing apples, _eating_ apples, there even a giant freaking apple sitting in the middle of a fountain.

“Haru no.”

“I didn’t even do anything.” Not yet, anyways.

“I can tell.” Makoto gestured to his head. “You don’t even know how clean that water is.”

“It’s all rules with you.” Didn’t they understand he was a man with real needs here? Regardless, Makoto kept him in reach for as long as the fountain stayed in sight. 

To be honest, Haru was surprised they all weren’t dressed in apple costumes and praying to their overlord for a good harvest. Obviously this place only had one thing to live for and it was juicy, sweet, and coming to a store near you. How had he not noticed this when they first got off the train? There were so many signs. No really, those posters for Applefest actually meant something here. 

“I’m starting to crave an apple, to be honest.” Makoto squinted as some of the baskets for sale, probably contemplating going on over.

“I want to take a picture.” Hiromi did. 

“I understand why you guys didn’t want to come by yourselves now. Obviously you need some protection from the apple dumpling gang in case they turn on you for not eating enough apples.” Haru didn’t mind the red fruit, but couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the merchandising from it. Did they _seriously_ have action figures? Iwatobi-chan was _much_ better. 

They did end up taking Makoto’s advice and stopped in a small café, called _A Slice of Life_ for something to eat. Inside, they were given a menu that did not disappoint based on the restaurant’s name. Highlights included and were not limited to “Turn down for what?”, an apple turnover glazed in icing, “leaf pile” a salad topped with you guessed it apples, dressing, and surprisingly bacon, and “Wrapped to the core”, a chicken apple wrap with spinach and ranch. Each table was even set up with a basket of smoked-apple bread. Surprisingly, it was pretty good. After some serious contemplating about leaving an apple for a tip, they left with full stomachs. 

Hiromi’s directions led them up to Jace Avenue, which they then followed a couple more blocks. Thankfully, by then they were led into the more suburban part of town that had a bit more houses and a little less fruit. Flowers smiled at them, windows shined in the sunlight, and the air had a peaceful silence to it that Tokyo always lacked. It was actually quite nice. 

The scenery changed drastically as they turned up another road and were greeted with a large hill. Though not incredibly steep, it was long and disappeared into a canopy of trees, winding up to some unknown destination. Around the road the trees were rapidly spreading, become dense and thick like a forest. 

“Are you sure it’s this way?” Makoto asked, looking a bit unsure. Haru was thinking along the same lines. This road seemed to take them away from the town, not towards something that could be considered a store. 

“He said it was a little out of the way.” Hiromi shrugged. “My phone says its right up this hill.” And what a hill it was. More than difficult, it was tedious. The road wrapped around and waved like a snake, leading them in an S like shape that brought them into compact trees and onto sidewalk-less roads. Still, it wasn’t completely unhabituated. On their walk roads branched off and Haru could see paneling from nearby houses through the gaps in trees. This was probably the more secluded part of town. More than likely included the people who didn’t like to interact with others much. 

“Ah, here it is!” Hiromi stopped in front of a wooden sign with a bounce, face beaming. Written in rather poor handwriting was _Eito’s Collections_ , more than likely written by the man himself. In paint. On splintering wood. High class quality there. Underneath it sat a big white arrow, pointing off to a road to the side. This road only lasted for a couple of feet before it disintegrated into a field of grass in need of a trim. 

“This is it?” Haru looked at the building with an eyebrow. Like the man’s lawn, the building wasn’t in that great of condition either. It was a flat-roofed one story with an overhang that covered a porch filled to the brim with odd commodities. Just with a glance Haru was able to pick out a spinning wheel and a stone statue of a naked angel on one knee, his arm raised up towards the sky. Who the hell wanted that on their doorstep? The shutters on the windows hung limp, broken flower pots laid off to one side, and a bird’s nest was clearly visible in the crack under the roof. What made the place, however, was how the trees behind it loomed over and cast a huge shadow over what could have been filled with sunshine. Because of this, it was given an eerily presence that made it feel like an abandoned cabin in the woods. But hey, the sign said open with a smiley sticker next to it. 

“Are you sure this is… safe?” Makoto, of course, was looking at this house with super scaredy-cat vision, and didn’t see it truly for the dump it was. Probably was a bit too distracted by the dancing shadows that were created by the afternoon sun and trees or by the slightly ajar door up ahead. Haru supposed if he squinted he could see what that was all about. Sort of. To be fair, he didn’t get scared by much. Apparently, neither did Hiromi. 

“Of course, silly!” Hiromi assured, tugging him forward. Haru followed naturally. “We’re not about to be trapped by a mass murder and stabbed to death.” 

“Hiromiii-channn-“ Makoto dragged his feet. Of all the things she could have said it had to be that, didn’t it? They had been dating for three months already, how had she not picked up that he was the biggest fraidy-cat when it came to creepy and the haunted? Size didn’t matter when Nagisa announced a surprise Horror marathon and all Makoto had to hide behind was Haru himself. How the orca managed to squeeze behind like that, Haru would never know.

Hiromi stared at Makoto, looking perplexed, and Haru sighed. He guessed he had to handle the situation. 

“If you don’t want to come inside, then don’t. Wait out here and I’ll go with her.” As suspected, Makoto didn’t seem to like that option much either. The moment the two of them moved towards the entrance he was grabbing onto their forearms, trailing behind. 

“Wait, I’ll come, I’ll come!” 

“My poor baby, don’t worry I’ll protect you.” Hiromi giggled, leading the way up to the door. It matched right along with the rest of the buildings aesthetic, white-washed red with wooden splinters for decoration. She knocked on the door thrice. “Hello? Eito-San?” 

Forcing Makoto between them so he wouldn’t run away, Haru followed Hiromi in and was greeted exactly how he expected. By dust, dim lighting, and a disarray of junk. The room was illuminated by a single light hanging from the ceiling over wooden tables stacked with a horders dream and his own personal nightmare. Clay things, wooden things, paper things, metal things, things in boxes, things framed on the walls, it was piles and piles of just random _things_. Could he at least organize them by category or _something_? It bugged him, way more than he would have liked to admit. 

“Eito-San?” Hiromi tried again, walking over to where a register sat. Behind that was doorframe covered by a curtain and she began peering at it like she could somehow see through it. “Eito-San!” Haru jumped at the volume of her voice, knocking over some miniature copper pots and pans. He bent down and picked them up, scowling at the floor. 

“Maybe he isn’t here?” Makoto suggested, itching at his cheek nervously. “We could come back another time…” Or never. That’s definitely the expression Makoto was supporting right now. Haru watched as Makoto rolled a toy car back and forth with his fingers with a smile he kept entirely to himself. 

“He said he would be…” Hiromi pouted, her cheeks puffed out. “The sign does say open.” 

“Maybe he is- YEEP!” Before Haru could even register what happened Makoto was on the floor with a cry, the tables bouncing from his sudden tumble. 

“Makoto-“

“Something touched me!” Makoto interrupted, his eyes wide as he scanned the room around them. Nothing, at least to Haru’s eyes, was moving. “It was hairy and fast and ran right into my leg!” 

“Mako-kun, I think you’re just imagining things. I don’t see anything.” Hiromi bent down, peering through the tables. 

“I wish I was!” Makoto said miserably, pulling himself to his feet. “Maybe this place really is haunted!” Haru looked at Makoto skeptically. 

“I highly doubt it, Makoto.” 

“Holy shit it’s real!” Haru turned around at Hiromi’s cry in time to see a mound of fluff flash through the legs of the tables into the far end corner of the room. 

“That’s not a ghost.” Haru started weaving through the tables towards its direction. He had a pretty good indication of what it was now. 

“Maybe it’s a badger or fox or something…”

“Haru, don’t touch it! It could have rabies!” Ignoring Makoto, Haru did just that, grabbing onto their so-called demon ghost and pulling it tightly against his chest. 

“Wrong.” 

“Oh, it’s a kitty!” Hiromi immediately cooed, weaving through the tables to meet Haru half way. 

“With a collar. She’s a housecat.” A pretty one at that. Unlike the rest of the place she was groomed well, her dark gray hair fluffed and soft to the touch. A bit afraid of the new people around her, her green eyes peered at them cautiously. 

“Oh…” the tension in his shoulders relaxed a bit and a smile grew across his face. “What a pretty one she is!” Makoto offered his hand in front of the cats face and after a moment, she grew enough courage to sniff it. Makoto took this as an indication that it was okay to pet her head and began scratching her on the side as Haru held her. “I can’t believe I thought she was something scary.” 

“I think I need to have a word with Nagisa about having you watch so many scary movies.” Haru gave the cat a good scratch underneath the ears and she nuzzled into his hand affectionately. Apparently caution was no longer needed when people were willing to pet you. 

“Please do!” 

“Kiki, are you causing trouble again?” They all turned from ogling the cat to the curtained door, where a short, plump man with a blonde mustache now stood. He grinned at the sight of his cat in Haru’s arms, what remained of his teeth shining brightly. This guy had to be at least 50, if the large bald patch on top of his head was to go by. He wasn’t completely hairless, though. Blonde hair poked from behind his ears and slid down into a ponytail behind his back. It wouldn’t have been so bad, really, if the man hadn’t tried to dress like a teenage boy. Plaid shirts with a vest? Rei would faint at the sight. 

“Oh, she’s fine.” Hiromi smiled, walking over. Her face became visually relaxed with a narrow in her eyes. “Precious little thing.” 

“She’s a beauty, all right. Knows it, too. Been raising her since she was a kitten.” He paused for a moment, probably thinking back on old memories or whatever. Haru nuzzled her ear with his nose. “So what can I do you get for? Not very often I get young folk up here like yourselves.” 

“Oh, how silly of me. I haven’t introduced myself.” Hiromi offered her hand. “I’m Hiromi! We spoke via email the other day, Eito-San.”

“Oh, that’s right! The little girl who wanted the BooBoo bunny.” Hiromi continued to smile but Haru was sure he saw her eyebrow twitch. 

“Yup, that’s me! Do you still have it?” Eito put his hands on his hips, leaning his head back as he pretended to think. 

“Hmm… I believe I do. Let me just check.” He walked around the counter and peered down to look at something that none of them could see. “Aha! Here she is.” There was a bit of clinking of glass and something hit against another surfrace rather hard before Eito emerged before them again, this time holding a small figurine in his hands. 

“Oh my gosh she’s perfect!” Hiromi gave a small squeal as she bounced closer, looking like she was putting all her energy into not yanking it out of his hands. 

“You bet! I treat all my merchandise with careful hands.” Yeah okay. Eito set it down on the counter, and Haru couldn’t help but bend his neck a bit to get a closer look. Two inches tall, standing on a little patch of grass, and pointing a little umbrella to the sky was the whole reason they were out here in the first place. A fluffy white bunny with big blue eyes and a yellow polka dot umbrella. Nice. 

“She’s even cuter in person.” Hiromi was obviously ecstatic. “I can’t wait to add her to the rest. How much do you want for her?” 

“Hmm…” Eito scratched his chin. “I’m thinking about 25,000 yen here.” 

“What!?” Hiromi slammed her palms down on the table and both Haru and Makoto jumped. “In the email you told me around 15,000!” 

“I realize that but this _is_ BooBoo bunny, you understand. And a limited addition. There are plenty of collectors out there itching to buy.” There was a twinkle in his eyes. 

“That’s not what you agreed to.” 

“People change, and so does my mind.” He shrugged. 

“We sat on a train for three hours to get here! You can’t just do that!” 

“Oh what a shame. But hey, if you really don’t want Booboo, then that’s fine.” He began to pull the figure off the counter. “Maybe next time, little girl, if you’re willing to pay.”  
“Listen here, you jackass.” Hiromi looked him dead in the eye, and Haru felt the room drop about 10 degrees. “I’m not leaving here without that bunny, and I’m not paying any more than the 15,000 you already agreed to.” Eito laughed nervously. 

“A price is the price. I’m afraid I can go no lower.” He lifted his hands and shook his head as if to say his hands were tied. 

Hmph. Well I guess…” Hiromi walked away the counter with a sigh, stopping in front of a large painting, framed in a glass-less wood, which had large chains sticking out of it. It was a rather beautiful painting, showing two women dancing around a lake in pastel water colors. It had a signature in the bottom right-hand corner. “What is this, Eito-San?”

“That? It’s a classic water painting from Riko Honda. Very old, very cool. I even found it signed.”

“How much is it?” Eito gave a chuckle.

“Look, little girl. If you’re unable to give 25,000 for this, you certainly can’t pay for that. It’s chained up for a reason. I’ll take no less than 120,000 yen.” 

“So it’s worth a lot, huh?” Hiromi began digging in her purse, pulling something out in a clenched hand. “It is very pretty. It’d be a shame if something… happened to it.” Clicking the bottom of a pen, Hiromi pressed the tip centimeters away from the painting. 

“Oi!” Eito went from pudgy pale to brick red in a matter of seconds. “What the hell do you think you’re doing!?”

“Getting what was promised to me, obviously.” Hiromi stuck out her tongue. “Now sell me that Booboo bunny for 15,000 or I’ll be marking a mustache right on this pretty little lady. Ooo, and I bet a smiley face would look great on this sun over here…”

“You wouldn’t. That’s defacing private property!” 

“Oh, I think I would.” Hiromi’s blue eyes were sparkiling with a devilish gleam while Makoto and Haru exchanged glances. Haru had no doubt she would if it came to it. Makoto seemed to think this too, based on his nervous expression. 

The silence that hung in the air was stiff, and Haru wasn’t sure whose gaze was more intense. Hiromi’s, which crackled with electricity and power, or Eito’s, which looked more stubborn than a mule. In the end, it was Eito who began sweating and he broke as Hiromi lowered the pen until but a hair could fit in the distance between ink and paper. 

“Fine, fine alright already! A deal is a deal! I’ll sell it for what we agreed! Now get away from that before you mark it! I have a collector coming in on Monday to examine it!” Hiromi smirked in victory.

“See, was that so hard?” 

“You freaking kids these days, think you can do whatever you want…” He grumbled, shoving the statue towards her direction. “Just give me the money.” 

“Thank you!” Hiromi smiled sweetly, handing him the money over. He began counting it with scrutiny as she kissed the bunny on the nose. “Well, pleasure doing business with you!” She bowed, making her way to the door as she slid her new prize into her purse. 

“Yeah, yeah. Get out of here already.” Hiromi stopped to look over at him with another smile, this time looking a hell of a lot more forced. 

“Oh, by the way, I’m not a little girl. I have the parts to prove it.” And without another word, Hiromi headed out the door with all three boys looking after her. 

“Uh, have a good day.” Makoto stammered out to Eito, and Haru followed him out to Hiromi, regretfully leaving the cat behind. 

“Well, that’s taken care of!” Hiromi smiled brightly, jumping over to them and pulling Makoto into a loose hug. 

“Yeah, you did great!” Makoto praised. “That was pretty awful of him, changing the deal you had like that.” Hiromi nodded, pouting. 

“I can’t believe the nerve of him! Ugh, that makes me mad! I’m a poor college student, you know. I can’t afford to spend so much on something like this, even if it is BooBoo!” Poor student or not, she still spent 15,000 yen on the stupid thing. 

“So what now, should we head back and wait for the train?” 

“Hmm, I guess.” They looked at Haru for his opinion, to which he just shrugged. He was just happy to finally be able to go home. 

“Then home it is!” The two split apart from their hug, opting to hold hands instead, and the three of them made their way towards the road. 

By now it was nearing four in the afternoon and the birds were all noisily flying in the skies above them, probably looking for a late night dinner before the skies became too dark and the nightlife emerged. Joining them in their sounds was the occasional sound of woodpeckers and the swoosh of the trees from the wind. It all felt so surreal compare to the noises of Tokyo, which only consisted of cars honking, people shouting, and the occasional burst of loud music. It was kind of nice, he had to admit, to actually be able to hear the sounds of the world. Iwatobi offered a lot of those experiences too. 

“Hey, guys, lets go through here!” So lost in the sounds of the creatures around him, Haru hadn’t even noticed Hiromi had pulled Makoto to a stop. He turned around to find Hiromi pointing into the woods. 

“Through the forest?” Makoto stared at the dense trees, looking a bit nervous. “I dunno, Hiromi-chan… That’s…” dangerous? Stupid? Come on Makoto, take your pick. Lots of options here.  
“Come on, Mako-kun, it would be fun! We have some time before the train comes, anyway. Think of it as a final adventure through the woods!” 

“No thanks.” Haru was having none of that. He was getting sick of all this adventure nonsense. 

“You guys are no fun! Fine, I’ll go by myself! See you at the station, I guess.” Letting go of Makoto’s hand, Hiromi abruptly turned and stepped into the grass, heading straight into the large array of trees.

“Hiromi-chan!” Makoto called after her, but she didn’t even turn to look back. “Haru...” the brunette opted instead, his eyes creased with newfound worry. 

“Yeah.” Was all Haru answered, already stepping onto the grass. 

 

 

Adventure? Adventure his ass. Haru was starting to think Hiromi wouldn’t know a good time if it smacked her in the face, which he was perfectly willing do to right now. Where was the fun in getting snagged by bushes, tripping on twigs, and having to crawl over fallen over trees? Not to mention they were on a slight incline because of the hill. He certainly didn’t see it, and if another branch caught onto his leg one more time he was more than likely to kick a tree. That whole appreciation for nature thing? Yeah, he wasn’t feeling it much anymore. 

Haru looked up at Hiromi, hoping that she was coming to regret this decision, but no, she seemed to be having the time of her life. Smiling bright, humming a song, god he wanted to go home. 

“Haru, you have a bur in your hair.” Grumbling, Haru came to a stop as Makoto began ruffling through his hair. He would have enjoyed the situation a bit more if not for the fact it felt like his hair was being ripped from his skull. “Jeeze, where did you even run into this guy?” Makoto held the prickle sphere up between his pointer finger and thumb as Haru rubbed his head.  
“I have no freaking idea. Everything in the forest keeps attacking me.” 

“Hurry up, slowpokes!” Hiromi’s voice rang back to them, and looked over some distance to see her standing on a rock. “This is no time to be doing each other’s hair.”

“Hiromi-chan, how much farther?” Haru was a bit too satisfied in noticing that Makoto sounded as tired of this as he was. 

“Oh, not too much longer.” She winked at them. “I see a clearing not too far up ahead. Probably a group of houses or something.” At this Makoto gave a smile as Haru sighed with relief.  
“As much fun as this is, it’s probably best we get back to the station. It’d be awful if we missed our train.” 

“You worry too much, Mako-kun! I know exactly where we’re going.” Haru didn’t know why, but that sounded exactly like something Nagisa would say. That just made him nervous. He wished he hadn’t made the comparison.

“Well as long as you know.” He smiled down at her. 

“I shall lead us to victory!” She pumped her fist into the air. The clearing she had been referring to was now slowly coming into view, the midafternoon sun causing the area to practically glisten. It did seem like there were way fewer trees and to be a pretty open area. Maybe Hiromi was right and they were at the edge of the city. They followed a small dirt path that opened them up to the skies above. 

Wrong. She was so wrong Haru almost wanted to laugh. It was a clearing, alright, but not one that led to homes and people. It was a cliff. 

“Well this doesn’t seem right.” Without the trees blocking the wind, the long grass and plants swayed freely in the wind, minus a large patch of dirt towards the drop-off point, which was deprived of all life. The cliff was high up, but not massively steep. It was a long incline of dirt, bushes, and tuffs of grass. Eventually it stopped and returned to the mass of trees below. So much for getting out of here. 

“This view is gorgeous.” Hiromi praised, shielding her eyes from the sun to see better. “The trees look so pretty. Hey guys, let’s take a picture!” Haru scowled at the dirt. How about no? Haru was quick to decline her offer. 

“Fine, then you take a picture of me and Mako-kun!” Well, Haru didn’t really want to do that either but he supposed it was better than being in the picture himself. 

“Say cheese.” He deadpanned, holding up the smartphone. He was coerced into taking several for her, like Makoto and her hugging, Makoto getting kissed by her on the cheek, Makoto holding her in a deep, loving kiss… Haru may or may not have purposely covered half the lenses of the camera with his thumb for the last one. He reached over and handed Hiromi her phone back when they finally parted. 

With her camera back, Hiromi went towards the edge and bent down, gazing at the depth of the hill. 

“I wonder how long this is.” She said out loud. “Can you imagine sledding down something like this?” 

“Be careful, Hiromi-chan, we don’t know how steady the ground is there.” 

“Don’t worry, it’s perfectly sturdy.” She pat the ground for reassurance. 

“Even so…” 

“We should probably get going anyways.” She stood up, stretching her arms. “We’ll have to go back and around. Oh hey, look at that!” Hiromi took one step forward, teetering on the edge, and the ground began crumbling beneath her. She started to fall forward. 

“Hiromi-chan!” Even as Makoto shouted, Haru was reaching for her, trying to grab onto her hand, her wrist, her anything, and found he was still too far of a distance away. With a tsking noise, he took another step forward and Haru was finally able to grab Hiromi around the waist as the ground slid away from his feet. Hiromi’s screams echoed. Haru felt something warm wrap around him. 

And then everything became chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well how's that for a Cliffhanger (*snorts at her own pun*)   
> For anyone whose curious, 15,000 yen is about $120. 25,000 is about $200. Hiromi spends all her money on anime merch just like the rest of us. The painting was about $900.
> 
> Also, fun story, this isn't actually the full chapter i had originally planned on. It was supposed to have a bit more to it. But i was already 14 pages deep this morning and i realized that this chapter was going to end up being like 20 pages at the rate it was going. That just seems... too long. So i decided to split it up and move my plans around a bit! This just means i already have a start on the next chapter, so perhaps I'll actually update when i want to! Hah, well, a girl can dream.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! It's a little bit less angsty than the past few chapters. 
> 
> If you're a little like me and enjoy little spoilers for what to come, look up what "tekichuu" means. Huh. Why would i name the village that? Yup. No idea. 
> 
> Until next time, my precious Makoharu babies.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was aiming to have this posted on Sunday. It is 12:19 am. I'm counting it. 
> 
> "Looking into the water, we can understands each others' feelings."   
> -Makoto and Haruka in their duet "Always Here"

It wasn’t like it was in the movies. There was no slow-motion fall, no slight delay in the air before gravity finally took hold. They fell like any other object that was air-borne. Hard and fast.

The impact from air to ground was enough to send Haru’s head reeling and caused the world to spin, a sharp pain coming from his lip as a metallic taste filled his mouth. Haru tried to catch a breath, a whisper of oxygen, anything to fill his lungs, but the task was near impossible. It felt like he was choking on the heart pounding in his chest. 

Was the sky up or down? Haru couldn’t even tell if they were rolling anymore. His head was too dizzy to make any sense of his surroundings. All he could think to do was squeeze his eyes shut and wait. It felt like forever. In reality, it couldn’t have been any longer than 10 seconds. 

Haru was numb as they slid to a stop, keeping his eyes shut even as he was sure they were no longer moving. He wiggled his toes, slackened his grasp on Hiromi’s waist, and waited for the rest of him to catch up. Makoto groaned behind him. 

“Haru, Hiromi-chan, are you two okay?” Makoto’s voice, thick and a bit disoriented, was enough to open his eyes, the blast of green from the tree canopy blinding him for a second. His senses were now coming back a mile a minute and he became increasingly aware of Makoto’s hand tightly secure around his waist as he laid on the brunettes chest. Hiromi was on the other side of Makoto, laying on top of both of them and starting to turn around. In his flurry to grab them, Makoto must have fallen off the cliff as well, sandwiching Haru between Hiromi and himself to try and prevent either one of them from getting hurt in the fall. 

“I’m okay, thanks to you and Haruka-kun.” Hiromi said quietly, sliding off of him to sit next to Makoto in the grass. Haru mirrored the same, his joints cringing as he attempted to sit up. Makoto’s hand didn’t leave his side right away, sliding gently along his back and staying there until Haru was situated safely in the grass to his right. Haru felt his cheeks warm up at the softness and warmth of the touch. 

“Oh, Haru-chan you’re bleeding!” In a quick motion Makoto was pushing Haru’s hair back, pressing the bangs back so he could get a better look at his face. Haru jumped at the sudden contact and quickly shook the hand away, gliding a finger across his bottom lip and looking in the other direction. 

“It’s just a split lip, I’m fine.” 

“But-“

“What about you?” Haru interrupted, peaking an eye over in a sudden stare down. “You took most of the fall, didn’t you?” his brows creased a bit in worry, now looking up to the marks skidded into the dirt from their slide. One bad land and Makoto could have broken a bone or at least gotten a concussion from the impact.   
“Yeah, are you okay baby?” Hiromi reached up to caress his cheek. “How’s your back?” 

“I’m fine.” Makoto shook his head. “Just a bit sore is all.” As if to prove his point, Makoto started to pull himself into a sitting position, wincing a bit at the motion. Haru was quick to his side, placing firm hands onto his back to help him up. 

“Oh, Mako-kun, I just feel so awful about this…” Hiromi bit her finger, eyes sparkling. “I should have been more careful.” 

“Its okay, Hiromi-chan.” Makoto smiled sweetly at her. “I’m just glad you’re not hurt.” Oh good god now they both were smiling at each other like that. Haru found himself looking at the ground with a bitter taste in his mouth. He stood up.

“We should get going.” Not to interrupt a moment, but well… 

“You’ve been saying that since we got here.” Hiromi stuck her tongue out at him, but nonetheless stood up as well. They both reached over to help Makoto his feet, who staggered a bit upon standing. 

“Hmph.” Haru gently tried to swipe the dirt that marked up Makoto’s back, but found it not very successful. It looked as if he was a cabinet that hadn’t been dusted in years. 

“Haru is right, though, Hiromi-chan. I think we’ve all had enough of this town for one day.” More like forever, but Haru decided not to correct him. 

“Well I don’t think we will be going back the way we came.” Hiromi noted, and they all looked back up at the cliff. “Let me pull up the map. Town can’t be that far.” Pulling out her phone she did a couple of flicks to the screen. She stared at it with a furrowed brow before pointing off to the left. “That way!” Makoto smiled at Haru in relief. Haru just stared at the direction dully. 

“Lead the way, Hiromi-chan!” She made some kind of captain salute and started moving, Haru and Makoto taking up the rear once more. 

Unlike their trek before, there was less to climb over and trip on as they hiked through the woods. Haru figured this was a good sign and meant that town had to be close enough by. 

Hiromi led them through the woods as if that was true, anyway. Despite falling down the cliff being quite a downer, she quickly returned to her happy spirit and was brightly humming as she had been before. Well, that was nice for her, he guessed. Haru was quickly supporting a burning temper that was forming as the time ticked on. 

Every now and then he would look up at the sky and notice that the blue had turned a touch darker as the sun started to lower itself. It was a constant reminder of how long this stupid adventure was taking. Makoto, meanwhile, was mostly quiet, a perfect neutral zone in-between Hiromi’s happy attitude and Haru’s brooding atmosphere. As was Makoto’s nature, he seemed to be trying to keep both of them at peace. It worked for a while, but Haru was beginning to lose patience. 

“Makoto, don’t you think this is taking a while?” Haru looked up Makoto, meeting the green halfway. “We should be there by now.” 

“Yeah.” Makoto sounded unsure, and Haru could read him well enough to know that the orca had more than likely been thinking about this for a while. “Hiromi-chan,” he called, this time loud enough to reach his girlfriend. “Are you sure we’re going the right way?” 

“Of course!” Hiromi replied with a smile, but fell to a stop. She pulled out her phone again to stare at it, only to look up at the woods behind her. “Yeah, definitely just a little farther.” 

“Do you want us take a look?” Makoto suggested, offering a hand out. 

“Don’t you worry you’re pretty little head, Mako-kun! I’m the navigator, you guys just sit back and keeping enjoying the trip! I’ll have us out in no time.” 

“When did the enjoying start?” Haru whispered bitterly. If he and Makoto had had their way, they’d already be on the train on the way back to Tokyo. There would have been no tumble down a cliff, nor there any need to navigate through a stupid forest. 

“Oh shush you.” Hiromi waved him away with the back of her hand and began leading them through the trees once more. 

Twenty minutes later, they came to another stop, and Haru could feel his heart pounding faster. Compared to before, Hiromi looked nowhere near as sure of herself as earlier. In fact, she was squinting into the woods as if trying to read invisible answers. 

“This way, this way!” she gave a giggle, changing their direction slightly. “Oh, I can almost taste the apples.”

The next stop came at a huge pile of rocks, where they stopped to take a breather. The whole time Haru clicked his nails on the hard piece of earth, impatience rising in his gut. Hiromi told them a story about hiking with her aunt. Makoto listened kindly. Haru wanted to shoot her. 

“Was she the one who led the way?”

“Yeah, why?” she titled her head. Figures. Haru clutched his hands tight. 

“Just curious.” They moved on when a centipede crawled cross Makoto’s hand. 

The trees were getting taller as was the foliage around them, becoming less tamed and more wild. Thorns tugged at their clothes like rabid fans and they no longer had a forest floor but carpet of dead leaves. The animal life was becoming more abundant as well, a rather ugly looking snake and some hybrid of rabbit making an appearance. It wasn’t the characteristic of the edge of a forest, but deeper into the center. They were lost. Haru was quickly beginning to realize this. 

At a tree that oddly had a shape of a cactus they came to a stop yet again and now Haru could feel the hair on his arm bristle. They were lost, so freaking lost that it was almost hilarious. Almost. He took a deep breath, tension forming in his jaw. Haru was seconds from his breaking point. At this point, anything could set him off. A branch could crack too loud and it would still make him want to throw something. He was sick of this trip, of this adventure, of everything. 

“I think we came from that way…” Hiromi pointed into the woods, though she looked completely unsure. “So, that way?”

“What does the _map_ say?” Haru asked, his voice sharp. Hiromi bounced her phone in her hand, looking sheepish. 

“Well, the thing is… I don’t have any connection anymore. I lost it a little bit ago…”

“You’re kidding.” Haru’s eye twitched. “So we’ve just been walking around with no idea where we’re going!?”

“No! Not… really!” Hiromi planted her hands on her hips. “I thought I knew where we were going, okay? It’s not that big of a forest, so I just figured if we kept going one way we’d make it.”

“Hiromi-chan, we’ve been in here for two hours already. You should have said something earlier.” Hiromi bit her lip, down-casting her eyes.

“I was going to, but I didn’t want you to get mad at me.” Yes, because this was so much better. Getting lost in a forest they didn’t know while the sun kept getting lower and lower to the ground. “… Do you guys have connection?” 

Makoto shook his head after pulling his phone out of his pocket. “I don’t. Haru?” 

“Mines at home.” Haru said honestly, rubbing his temple. Why would he bring it with when the only person he really needed it for was right here beside him? 

“So we’re lost.” Makoto said blankly, pushing his hair back. 

“Well I feel like if we kept following the same direction…” 

“Cause that’s been working.” Haru rolled his eyes, glaring into the woods so he wouldn’t be glaring at her. 

“We should have run into something by now, though.” Makoto added to Haru’s statement, voice way softer than Haru’s own. “Maybe we took a wrong turn somewhere?” Yeah, down a cliff. 

“We could retrace our steps back?” Hiromi suggested, biting her lip. 

“Won’t that take too much time?”

“Yeah, I guess. We could just go in the opposite direction we’ve been going in, then? If towns not this way, than maybe it’s the other way.” 

“I suppose that could work…” Haru sighed, walking off into the trees. He didn’t stop until their voice’s were nothing but incomprehensible whispers, choosing than to squat against a tree. The quite was a blessing he had been wishing for for a while. It was no bath, but at least he could sit in comfortable silence. 

Without Hiromi’s loud voice or Makoto’s noisy footsteps breaking through the air, he could actually hear the sound of leaves ruffling through the late September wind. The breeze was peaceful to the touch, too, and petting against his face Haru could feel some of the tension in his body leave him. The smell of grass began to fill his nose, accompanied by unknown wild flowers. A bee buzzed nearby, probably on its way to its hive. Water trickled from not that far away. Wait, water?

Haru quickly stood up, facing the direction it was coming from. He hadn’t noticed the sound before, but now that he had it was all that he could hear. Loud and crisp, the beautiful noise called him like a siren and made his toes curl. Would it be wrong if he felt like drooling? Probably. 

“Haru, what are you doing over here?” Makoto asked, stepping over towards him. Hiromi was at his side, rummaging through her purse. 

“Do you guys here that?” he asked, but was greeted by confused eyes. 

“Hear what?” 

There’s water nearby.” 

“Haruka-kun, now really isn’t the time to go for a swim…” Well, rude. Anytime was a good time for a swim, for the record. He was wearing his swimsuit.   
“That’s not why I pointed it out.” He snapped. “It could lead us to town, or at least a road.” 

“Really?” Makoto’s eyes lit up at this revelation. 

“Yeah. When I was younger I went hiking with my parents a couple of times. Dad taught me stuff like this.” Apparently having spontaneous, adventurous parents could be a good thing once and a while. 

“Okay, then lead the way. I don’t really hear it.” Probably because the water didn’t like her. Why would it when she was a land dweller? Just look at Rei. It took months for the water to accept him.

“I kind of do.” Makoto said excitedly, cupping his hands behind his ears. “Is it that way?” Haru nodded. 

“It doesn’t sound too far off.” Focusing all his energy on listening for the trickling water, Haru took up the lead. The sound bent them to the right of the direction Hiromi was heading towards, bringing them to a thicket of branches home to a bunch of rabbits. 

“Sorry Peter!” Hiromi called out to the family as they ran, both she and Makoto looking a bit sad that they had disturbed the creatures. Haru ignored it all, happy that his senses were right. It wasn’t the biggest of streams, only stretching around three feet across, but it was water. Actual flowing water. Haru was quick to kick his shoes and socks off, stepping into the cool liquid with glee. It went only up to his ankles but was enough to satisfy his need for the moment.

“If we follow this down, it might meet up with a river that leads to town.” Haru said, pointing as he talked. 

“How do we know it will, though?” Hiromi asked, shifting in the mud. 

“We don’t.” Because her idea was much better. 

“I say it’s worth a shot.” Makoto smiled. “Better than wondering the woods and having to call for a rescue.” Hiromi couldn’t argue with that, so they began following the streams trail, Makoto and Hiromi walking along on land while Haru enjoyed his stroll in the water as most he could in this type of situation. 

It turned out Haru had been right. After about a half an hour of walking, louder rushing water filling the air as the trees around them grew shorter and sparser. He got out of the stream just in time to watch the water wind down a bunch of rounded rocks to join a larger river, nearing at least 20 feet wide. 

The highlight of the discovery? In the distance they could see a bridge raised above it. A bridge meant people. People meant town. Town meant thank fucking god they were free of these blasted woods. 

Immediately they adjusted their course, heading straight in the direction of their holy grail. The bridge itself was metal, but along its sides on either part of the river were stacked rocks, similar to the one they had sat on earlier but much more trimmed and humanized. They were like nature stairs. 

Makoto climbed up them first, then offering a hand up for Hiromi and then Haru. A bit out of breath from the climb the three of them all stood there for a moment, staring at the setting sun and relishing in the fact that there were _houses_ around them, located on either side of the bridge. They had made it out, had actually survived with little damage. 

And it was great, at least for a second. But reality struck almost immediately as they kept looked around. Nothing was even remotely familiar. They were definnently not where they started. In fact, they really were no better off than in the woods. 

“Um…” Makoto bit his lip, looking at the unfamiliar street sat on. “This isn’t how we came in.” 

“Well, at least we got out?” Hiromi said, her voice too optimistic. “See, it wasn’t that bad.” 

“You got to be freaking kidding me.” Haru had never been so done in his life. Unable to calm down, he found himself rounding on Hiromi. “What part of that was _good_?” 

“Well, if you would actually try and look at it from a different _perspective_ -”

“Fuck that.” Haru growled, his eyes ablaze.

“Haru!” Makoto tried to interrupt, but Haru completely ignored him. 

“I’m sick of this! No, don’t look at me like that. This trip has been one disaster after another. Calling it an adventure is just trying to cover up all your mistakes. I’ve had enough of this stupid childish nonsense!” Before she could stuttered out a reply, Haru grabbed hold of Makoto’s wrist and tugged, hauling him down some godforsaken street he didn’t even know the name of. There were no tingles, no fluttering butterflies forming from touching Makoto so closely. All feelings were fried in his anger. 

“You’re being ridiculous!” Hiromi patterned after them, keeping up despite Haru’s efforts to get away from her. “Who’s the child now?”

“Hiromi-chan!” Makoto was looking at them both helplessly, his gaze lasting the back of Haru’s head with worry. 

“I didn’t even want to be here!” Haru spat at her, gripping Makoto’s wrist tightly. His feet pounded nosily on the pavement. 

“Well, nobody forced you to come!” Hiromi replied just as hotly. Her eyes were burning electric. “You could have said no, so don’t act like we kidnapped you! We were just trying to be nice and do you a favor. But obviously that was a big mistake, since you’ve been hell-bent in spoiling our time since we got here.”

“I didn’t _ask_ for anything from you. I have much better things to do than be a fucking third-wheel on your stupid so called ‘adventure’. If you think that your plans are worth any of my time then think again, Hiromi.” 

“My god, you’re being such a freaking asshole right now! What is your _problem_?” Haru skidded around and turned to look at her, eyes like ice. 

“You.” She was the problem, the problem for every fucking thing going on his life, and he hated her, hated her so much he could barely stand it. It wasn’t just this stupid trek through the forest. It was her stupid smile and her stupid giggle and the stupid way she clung onto Makoto and kissed Makoto and loved Makoto. It drove him crazy. Sure he could push the feeling down and avoid it for a while, but it always came back and always burned like a fresh new wound, lasting longer and longer with each and every passing day. 

But what sucked the most was that he knew Hiromi didn’t disserve this behavior from him. It wasn’t her fault that he had realized too late how he felt. It wasn’t her fault that she beat him fair and square. It wasn’t her fault that he couldn’t say what he wanted to say. It was just her fault that he became aware of the pain. 

“Haru.” A gentle warmth encased his hand and Haru looked over to Makoto, who was cradling his fingers like they could break. It was warm, soft, comforting. Haru felt his tension begin to melt. “Please don’t get mad at Hiromi-chan. It was me who asked you to come. I’m sorry.” The look in Makoto’s eyes filled him with guilt. He had attacked Hiromi and had hurt Makoto as a result. That was not what he wanted at all. 

“No,” Haru pulled his fingers away from the touch that warmed him. “Makoto. It’s just me. Sorry.” He took a few steps away. “Lets… just go catch the train. I want to go home.” 

 

 

Through the use of Hiromi’s phone, thanks to it re-connecting, they were able to find their way back to where they had started. Haru never realized he would be so comforted by the smell of fresh apples. Even more than that, the train station called him nearly as much as the water had had before, his stomach tumbling over with the knots he had created himself. 

If he thought his troubles were over, though, then he was sorely mistaken. 

“Sorry, you folks missed the last train heading out tonight by a half-hour.” The guard informed theem not really looking sorry in the least as the three of them all stood before him. 

“You’re kidding.” Makoto and Hiromi shared glances while Haru stood behind them, feeling defeated. “You mean there won’t be a train back to Tokyo until the morning? But that doesn’t make sense! It’s like seven o’clock!”

“Is there no other way?” Haru protested. “I have important training tomorrow morning.” 

“Not my problem.” He adjusted his keys. “The train is in for maintenance for the rest of the night. Somethings up with the engine, so the schedules been changed just for tonight. Next time think before you decide to go on a hike on a school night. Now if you excuse me, I have to get back to my job. You three will have to leave.” With a shooing motion, he directed them to the door with his eyes. 

Back outside, Haru leaned his back against the wall and slid down, hugging his knees. Well, on a scale to 10 on how screwed he was, Haru was surpassing triple digits. His coach was going to _flip_ when Haru didn’t show up to practice tomorrow morning. He could already feel the strain in his legs from all the laps he was going to have to run as punishment. Haru hated laps. Regretfully his coach knew this too. 

“Haruka-kun, I’m sorry.” Haru looked up to see Hiromi kneeling in front of him, their eyes level. “This really is my fault. And now because of me you’re going to miss something important to you. I’m sorry, Haruka-kun, I really am!” Her eyes grew wet and Haru realized she was seconds from crying. Well, that certainly was something he didn’t want to deal with right now. 

“No, I’m sorry.” He whispered, looking at the cracks in the cement. “It’s not like you planned for this to happen.” 

“Oh Haruka-kun!” Haru jumped as she threw her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. A Bit panicked, Haru looked up to Makoto for some help. The brunette, of course, was freaking useless and just replied to him with a shrug. Stupid Makoto. “I really am sorry, you know? I didn’t mean to call you an asshole, I was just stressed from arguing with that asshole seller and then I just wanted us to have fun but I just made you two get hurt and then got us lost and-” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Haru interrupted, patting her back awkwardly. “We can’t do anything about it as this point. Might as well forget about it.” 

“I wish there was something I could do to make it up to you, though…” 

“Run the laps my coach is going to give me tomorrow when I don’t show up.”

“I don’t think it works that way…”

“I know. It was a joke.” Haru sighed, shifting under her weight. He wished she would stop hugging him already. 

“So what should we do now?” Makoto asked, looking at Haru for suggestions. 

“Check into a hotel, I suppose.” Haru shrugged. “I saw signs for one up ahead. How much yen do we have?” Dumping all their money on the ground in front of them, they were able to pool together enough that would at least get them a decent room. 

Well, decent was kind of a big word. Bearable seemed to fit better. 

“This seems… nice?” Makoto walked over to pull back a curtain. “You can see the apple fountain from here.” Nice would have meant they weren’t all sleeping on what felt like concrete. Nice meant there wasn’t rust stains on the bathroom tile or that the carpet was actually stapled down to the floor. And nice definitely meant that there was an indoor pool because what kind of hotel would even think that not having one was a good idea? Oh right, this one. But yeah, it was nice. Completely nice. At least there was a freaking bathtub. 

“Oh goodie.” Hiromi sat down one of the beds. “It’s just what I always wanted for a view.” Haru, ignoring them both, walked towards the bathroom. He grabbed the handle.

“I’m taking a bath.” The door slammed behind him a bit more aggressive than he meant to. 

The water was everything he needed and more. It refreshed him, washed away the dirt and the stress and aggression and filled him up with a pleasant heat all over. The situation didn't feel quite as bad as it had before. It's not like things could get any worse at this point. 

Dunking his head into his sanctuary, Haru slipped under the surface and enjoyed the peace and tranquility until a good long hour passed. His hand twitched in front of the drain when it came time to finally get out, and he almost had half a mind to just forget it and stay in the bathub for a couple more hours. But he had to figure Makoto and, god forbid Hiromi, wanted a hot shower after rummaging through the woods for a good part of the day. Haru knew he needed it. 

With a heavy heart Haru pulled himself to his feet and stepped onto the tile, water slithering down in gentle paths towards his toes, leaving wet lines along his tan skin before Haru wiped it all away with a swipe of his towel. Since there was nothing to change into, Haru opted with wearing his swimsuit and shirt. It was a lot more comfortable than jeans to bed, that was for sure. Rubbing his towel into his black locks, Haru took a deep breath and opened the door. 

On the other side he found Makoto and Hiromi sitting on opposite beds, Makoto looking texting something into his phone while Hiromi flipped through one of the town’s brochure. At his presence Makoto smiled, setting his phone down and walking over to a plastic bag sitting on the dresser. He wished the big apple stretched across the front would be a surprise. 

“Haru, we went and got something to eat for dinner. You want some?” Ruffling his hair a bit more in the towel, Haru looked over to see the sandwich Makoto was offering.

“It doesn’t have apples in it, does it?” Makoto gave a soft chuckle. He eyed the sandwich up suspiciously.

“No, it’s just turkey and cheddar.” Haru’s stomach grumbled. 

“Okay.” He carefully took the sandwich from Makoto, letting the towel settle on his shoulders as he peeled the plastic wrap from his heavily wrapped meal. It tasted… well, as he expected. Less than fresh with fake ingredients. But it was enough to fill him for the time being. 

“It’s not great, I know.” Makoto grimaced, probably remembering his own sandwich. “But it was all we could find.”

“It’s fine.” Haru shrugged. “Where’d you get them?”

“There’s a convenience store not too far away. Hiromi was able to find it with her phone.” At least her map was good for something, then. “We also got some blueberry muffins for the morning and some milk.” 

“Wow, the catering here is fantastic.” Haru smirked lightly at Makoto, taking a rather large bite from his sandwich. “I feel like royalty.” 

“At your service, Nanase-sama.” Makoto curtsied with an invisible skirt, and Haru could feel his cheeks burn as his heart bathumped aggressively in his chest. Makoto _never_ used his last name. Ever. They never had to, having known each other before either of them could even talk. Hearing his last name come out Makoto’s mouth made him dizzy, his veins pumping hot throughout his body. He was well aware that it had nothing to do with the hot bath he had just taken. Makoto was always doing that, surprising him when he least expected it. It was enough to knock him on his feet. 

“Haru, how hot of a bath did you take? Your face is all red!” Haru quickly turned his head to the side, sliding away before Makoto could attempt to take his temperature. Yes, because that’s what he needed. If Makoto touched him he’d probably explode on contact right now. 

“There’s enough left, if that’s what you’re asking.” He hid behind his half-eaten sandwhich, rubbing his toes together. 

“Hmm, well I’ll be the judge of that.” Hiromi, who had been watching the exchange between the two silently from her bed, now stood up with a stretch. “I’m taking over the bathroom, if you don’t mind, Haruka-kun.” Haru wasn’t sure if he should feel insulted by that or not. Whatever, he didn’t care too much. He was still trying to somehow calm down with a sandwhich for crying out loud. He nibbled at the bread. 

“Save some for me, Hiromi-chan.” Makoto smiled at her. 

“Hmm, I make no promises.” She giggled, shutting the door gently with a click. Haru looked at Makoto out of the corner of his eye, only to be startled with Makoto was already looking at him. The shower tap thundered from the bathroom.

“Did you have a nice bath?” Makoto asked with a gentle look. Haru nodded shyly. 

“I enjoyed it, yes.” He was dismayed when he finished up his sandwich, unable to focus his attention from Makoto any longer. 

“I’m glad.” Makoto voice dropped a little then, and a frown formed on his face. Haru didn’t like that at all. “Look, Haru… I’m sorry I made you come with. It was very selfish of me.” 

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But I _am_ worried about it, Haru!” Makoto bit his lip, looking at Haru with bright green eyes. “I forced you to come when you didn’t want to, and look what happened! You got hurt…” Haru felt a pressure on his lip, only to realize it was Makoto’s thumb gently rubbing against his cut. His skin buzzed. 

“It doesn’t hurt…” Haru said quietly. Right now, it felt pleasantly warm. He would take a hundred split lips if it meant Makoto touching him like this.

“It could’ve though. It could’ve been much worse. You wouldn’t have to deal with any of this at all if I hadn’t made such a big deal.” 

“If you think I blame you for anything you’re not as smart as I thought.” Haru pulled out of Makoto’s touch, only to grab onto his wrist and hold it tightly. “What’s with all the self-deprecation all of a sudden, Makoto?” Makoto wouldn’t meet his eyes so Haru pulled him a bit closer. 

“What you said to Hiromi-chan, about being a third-wheel… Do you really hate it?” Haru felt his heart skip, his body start to twitch, and used all his strength to not show Makoto an ounce of the truth that he felt. 

“Makoto, I was mad at the time. I was just trying to piss her off.” 

“They say every lie has bit of truth to it.” The brunette lowered his head. If he was a dog Haru was sure his ears would droop. 

“Look, I told you before, I was grumpy about coming with. It wasn’t about having to be here with the both of you, it was having to be here in general.” 

“I’m sorry.” Makoto whispered. Having enough of it all, Haru reached forward and pushed Makoto’s hair out of the way so their eyes would meet. He didn’t need Makoto digging where he shouldn’t, not when it teetered towards the truth. 

“Makoto, I’m not mad. Not anymore at least. And not at all at you. So stop apologizing, okay? The day is over, everything is what it is. It will all go back to normal once we get back to Tokyo.” 

“Okay.” There was a wisp of a smile now. “I really am sorry, though, Haru-chan.” 

“Oh my GOD Makoto, have you’ve been listening to me?” Using the power of surprise Haru was able to shove Makoto down on the bed and leaned over him with a scowl. “If you apologize one more time I’m going to freaking _tickle_ you until you cry. And while we’re at it, drop the –chan already. You’re well over the limit just from today.” 

“Okay, okay!” Makoto laughed, looking a lot more like his usual self. “I’ll just call you Nanase-sama then.” Haru quickly grabbed a pillow and shoved it into Makoto’s face. 

“Absolutely not!” He pressed the fluff against his grinning face once more for added measure. That was definitely going into the ‘never call me that again’ pile. His heart couldn’t take it. 

“You could have just said no.” Makoto pouted, throwing the pillow up by the others. He attempted to sit up, rubbing at his back as he did so. 

“Does you’re back still hurt?” Maybe pushing his best friend down like that was a bad idea.

“Yeah, a bit. Everything feels really tight.” Haru took a deep breath. 

“Do you want me to massage it?” It wouldn’t be the first massage he’d ever given Makoto, what with them being on a swim team and running together and all, but it would be the first time touching Makoto’s back since he realized his feelings. This would either be the best thing, or the worst. Haru really couldn’t see an in-between. But Makoto was hurting and Haru decided giving him some relief was worth the risk. 

“…would you?” Makoto was looking at him with sudden hope. Haru nodded.

“Take your shirt off and lay down.” Makoto was quick to oblige, grabbing the hem of his t-shirt and pulling it over his head with ease. To prevent himself from staring, Haru deliberately looked away, waiting until he felt the bed shift and then become stable. 

No matter what he did, Haru couldn’t shake the fact that Makoto was now laying with his bare back to him, muscles shining in all their glory. Fuck this was probably a bad idea. He swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before he crawled over. 

Makoto truly had the back that would put all Gods to shame. Years spent on the backstroke had done nothing but benefit him, the training sculpted great muscles capable of being their own little mountains. Out of all of them it was probably best for Makoto to have taken the impact, his strength probably the only reason he hadn’t broken a bone. He wasn’t without injury, however.

Up this close, Haru could see purple bruises starting to form, dotting along his spine. There were a couple of scratches, too, some just white curved marks while others had seeps of red. Haru carefully traced the worst one with his finger. 

“Ahh, Haru that tickles!” 

“Sorry.” Haru slid his hands up to Makoto’s upper back. His hands felt positively cold against the heat of his skin and Haru was tingling in every fiber of his body. Makoto was so warm, so very very warm. It felt like heaven against his palm. “Where should I rub?” he asked quietly. Anywhere, he’d rub anywhere. 

“The middle of my back would be great, actually…” Haru gracefully ran his fingers down the first half of Makoto’s spine, letting his fingers touch the bulge of his muscles without any attempt to hide it. 

“Okay.” Haru pressed three fingers into his back and pushed, beginning to rotate the digits clockwise. Makoto reacted instantly, the muscles tightening under his grip from impulse. Haru remembered his previous massages rather well, and was quick to find exactly where Makoto’s highest tension area’s were. It wasn’t long before Haru had Makoto moaning in painful happiness below him. 

“Oh god Haru this feels amazing.” He breathed into the pillow, a groan puffing out as Haru pressed tightly with his thumb onto his lower back. “I really appreciate it.”

“Yeah, yeah. You should have said you needed this earlier.” Thank god Makoto couldn’t see him right now. Haru was blushing up a storm, his body just as hot as Makoto’s natural temperature. He had lost all dignity at this point. Hopefully Makoto was too invested in his back being rubbed to notice. 

“Forgive my insolence.” Makoto voice dropped low as Haru worked at a tight knot. “I forgot how good you were at this.” 

“I’m not that good. I’ve just done this for you often enough.” 

“Mhh. Either way, please don’t stop.” Not like he really wanted to, anyways. Haru rubbed from his upper shoulders to lower back, making sure to massage every inch of the skin given to him. He didn’t have any worry at hurting Makoto and so used his full strength to take down the knots, twisting the balls down until they either vanished or provided Makoto with little pain. 

“Hows that?” Haru asked after a while, relaxing his hands. 

“I feel like I’m in heaven.” Makoto sighed, entire body conforming to the crevasses in the sheets. “I may never move again.” Well, that’s what he said. But Makoto was shifting seconds after he spoke, pushing himself up by his palms and turning around to face Haru. “Thanks Haru.” 

“It was nothing, really…” Haru mumbled, fiddling with the spandex on his suit. “If it starts to act up again, let me know and I can give you another massage.” Completely for Makoto’s benefit. Nothing for Haru out of it. Yep nothing at all. 

“No, Haru…” Makoto reached forward and grabbed him around the waist, pulling him to his chest and hugging him tight. Against a shirtless, burning hot Makoto, whose lips could only be mere centimeters away from his ears, Haru’s system completely crashed. He was aware of nothing but the fingers pressed into his back, the warmth across his chest, and of the smell only Makoto could give off. Sweetness and sunshine. 

“It’s not just that. You’ve done so much for me lately, and it just… it means a lot. You didn’t have to go to the club, you didn’t have to comfort me two weeks ago, and you didn’t have to come with today. But you did.” 

“Well… you’re my best friend.” Haru whispered quietly, pressing his nose into Makoto’s neck. Summer and cake filled his nostrils. “I’ll do anything for you, no matter what.” 

“You spoil me.” Makoto leaned his head against Harus. “I want to do the same for you.” Makoto didn’t understand anything. He had already given him the world. Beautiful smiles and heartfelt words and special touches. Haru was already happy, being right here beside him. Only one thing could make it better, but that would be impossible. And so where he stood, everything was as bright as it could be. 

“You already have.” Haru whispered, pulling away to look at him fully. “Makoto… I-“

“What are you guys doing?” eyes wide, Haru stared with increasing anxiety as Hiromi stood by the bathroom door, hands on her hips. Makoto was completely startled by her voice and grew red, letting go of Haru to turn to face her. 

“Oh, Hiromi-chan!” he chuckled nervously, itching at his cheek. “Nothing really. How was your bath?” 

“Fine.” She replied, visibly biting on her cheek. 

_Shit shit shit_. Haru was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, his heart feeling like it was being struck with pinpricks with each passing second. His toes and his fingers felt suddenly so cold that they became numb. 

No matter how one looked at it, Hiromi’s reaction was completely understandable. They had been hugging, saying sweet things… Makoto had been shirtless for god’s sake! And his own expression… Haru knew better than to assume the face he had been making was anything but innocent. He had been caught up in the moment, in the blanket that was Makoto. Love was all he had felt at that moment. How long had she been there? How much had she seen? 

“Well, that’s good.” Either Makoto was oblivious to the situation they had just created or was trying to ignore it, standing up and stretching his arms like he had just taken a pleasant nap or something. Haru wasn’t sure which option hurt most. “I guess it’s my turn then.” 

Makoto turned to grab his shirt as Haru looked at him in horror. Was he _seriously_ going to leave him alone with her? Might as well make his grave right now. Throw him right in the dirt with some crummy flowers from the woods. Oh god he’d probably have an apple headstone. 

“I think I left enough.” Hiromi told him, sitting on the edge of her bed. “I don’t like very hot baths.” 

“Thanks!” and the door shut with a click. Silence, awful _awful_ silence followed. Haru studied his nails. Hiromi combed through her hair with her fingers. If he could have picked between this and being stuck in a room with a tiger, he would have preferred the cat. 

“What were you two doing?” Haru jumped at the repeated question, looking over at her. She was looking straight at the wall. 

“Nothing.” Yes, way to go Haru. The situation is definitely resolved now. 

“Oh?”

“I was just giving him a back massage. He said it was hurting him.” 

“It didn’t look like that to me.” 

The situation was laughable, really, because there wasn’t anything for Hiromi to be digging at in the first place. What he was saying was the truth. Nothing was going on. As much as he wished for it, it was far from happening. 

“He was thanking me.” Haru sighed, pulling at the flower pattern of the bedding. 

“Okay, Haruka-kun.” Hiromi glanced over at him. “Are you done with that towel? I’m going to go lay them over the railing.” 

“…Yeah.” Haru slowly took the towel around his neck and tossed it to her. 

“I’ll be right back.” Left alone in stale air and lingering tension, Haru hugged his knees and let out a hefty sigh. At the rate his life was going, he was going to have white hair before he even reached his twenties. 

When Makoto emerged from the bathroom, Hiromi had already been back for a while, scrolling through her phone on the free Wi-Fi as she leaned into her pillow. Haru was already curled under the covers, his eyes shut but his mind still awake. He was done with this day, done with this situation. He just wanted to go to bed and end it all, just for a moment. 

“Hey baby.” Hiromi called to him. “How was it?”

“Warmer than I thought it was going to be, actually. Is Haru asleep already?” the sound of Makoto’s voice stirred him a little, and Haru couldn’t help but listen in despite his best efforts to ignore them both. 

“Yeah, he was in bed when I got back.” 

“Today was a bit rough. I’m pretty tired myself.” Haru heard him yawn. “Is something wrong, Hiromi-chan?” Haru tightened his fists, body stiff. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to overhear anything that might be said. 

“No…” she paused. “I’m just… tired. We should probably get to bed.”

“You sure? You look down.” 

“I’m just tired, really.” She gave a quiet laugh. 

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Makoto sounded like he was frowning. “I’ll see you in the morning, then.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep over here with me? You might wake him up.” 

“Normally I would but it’s… awkward… when Haru’s here.” He heard Makoto whisper. “I’m sorry, Hiromi-chan.” There was a silence and Haru figured she was kissing him again. The two of them were going to drown in saliva at this rate. 

“It’s fine. I understand. Goodnight, Mako-kun.” Another kiss, this time loud enough for Haru to hear. “I love you.”

“Night, Hiromi-chan.” There was silence and then the lights shut off, enveloping them all in darkness. Haru tightened his grip as the blankets around him moved and the bed shifted behind him. Seconds ticked, the room was filled with small little movements. A move of a foot, a squeak of a spring. And then they were all drenched in total silence once more. 

It was a painful silence. With new knowledge that it was _normal_ for Makoto and Hiromi to lay next to each other, his throat was burning and he bit his lip just in case he didn’t make a sound. Of course it was normal for them, that’s what couples _do_. But each and every little fact he learned about their relationship always made it hurt all over every time. He knew they kissed he knew they held hands and cuddled and whispered stuff that made what Makoto said to him look like nothing, but it hurt to be reminded. It hurt to know he wasn’t number one. 

Despite it all Haru couldn’t help but lean back into Makoto’s hand as he felt the brunette grab his shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could have easily put in a backstroke for days reference in there, but I didn't.  
> You're welcome. 
> 
> So, you guys will never guess whose going back to college tomorrow! What no guesses?  
> really?  
> SUPRISE its me.
> 
> So what does that mean for this fic?   
> Nothing, really.   
> I'm Still planning on updating this fic somewhat regularly. I will probably stick to having a chapter out at least every two weeks or so, more than likely on Sunday nights. As we know, having a chapter a week flew right out the window. It seemed easy at the time. Then the chapters just grew and grew in length and I just couldn't jam them in in 7 days anymore. 
> 
> But this might change once I get there. I'm a fulltime student, but I work less during the school year, so to be completely honest I feel like I will actually have more time to write.  
> I guess we will find out. 
> 
> For those reading who are about to start school, have a great first day!  
> If you've already started, keep trucking the days are already ticking!  
> and those of you perusing other tracks, you got this~ treat yourself to a you-day! 
> 
> until next time, keep swimming free~


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm just going to throw this out there now: you might want a tissue or a cushy stuff animal or something to hug while reading this chapter. 
> 
> I love you all and I'm sorry. 
> 
> "The happiness we'll grasp together is surely close by."  
> -Makoto in the duet "Always Here"

People say that when bad things are about to happen, it’s supposed to storm. The rain should be pounding, the wind should be howling, and lightening should blaze across the sky. All signs of sunlight should be corrupted by the dark. Those people were wrong. 

The sun could shine. The sky could be clear, and the wind could be gentle. Birds would still fly, and others would still laugh. The world would still move and flow at its ever rapid pace. Your universe could completely shatter and flutter away, but life would continue to live. Instead, the storm would strike elsewhere. 

The violent rage of nature took place in you. The snapping of trees, the crashing of waves, the blowing and tumbling and tearing. You were the wreckage, you were what was destroyed. Those bolts of lightning were to your heart, hot and painful as they struck, the thunder its erratic beat. The dark, menacing clouds was your mind. They hid all light, all hope from sight. Nothing could calm the waves of terror because nothing was meant to. 

Only time could heal. Time and warmth, where the sun would finally peak into your heart and give it the gentlest of loves. It would stroke the wounds, sooth the tears and sew them back together. They would never restore to what they once were. There would always be a scar, something to commemorate all the pain that suffered inside. But that was okay. Because in that eventual bliss of happiness, you finally get to understand what it means to be alive. 

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

For Haru, it all started with a text. 

Haru was just finishing up an assignment when his phone clattered on the table beside him, the hum of the vibrate echoing throughout the room. He eyed the phone with distrust, almost in disbelief that it would be going off so late at night. Normally he himself would have already called it a night if it wasn’t for being dragged off by a couple of swim team members to some karaoke bar. Apparently ‘no thanks’ meant ‘drag him anyways’. 

His eyebrows rose when he read the senders ID. Why would _Hiromi_ text him? 

_We need to talk_.

Something rose in Haru’s throat and he swallowed hard, the pen he was using falling right out of his hand. Hit with such a loaded statement, Haru’s mind buzzed with what it might mean. Some answers jumped at him. The obvious one leaped the highest. 

_About what_? He sent the reply with shaking hands, holding the device in-between his knees. 

_Meet me at the Green Bean tomorrow at 4_. Hiromi completely disregarded his question, and it just tightened the knot on his stomach. Not only did he have his suspicions of what she wanted to talk about, he was pretty damn sure he was right. 

Any desire to fulfill her request flew right out the window, and yet he couldn’t stop himself from touching the phones keyboard. 

_Okay_. Haru had no idea why he agreed. 

Maybe he just wanted to prove himself wrong, that it was all in his head. What Hiromi had to say could have nothing to do with Makoto at all. Maybe he was giving Hiromi too much credit. Maybe it was nothing to be bothered by. 

Or maybe he was just a masochist. 

 

Nervously clutching his duffle bag to his side, Haru pulled the door open as the little bell chimed to announce his entrance to the Green Bean. The café was relatively dead, only a few number of people currently seated inside. He was able to find Hiromi in the far corner, sipping some tea while clutching the bottom of the glass.

Seeing Haru approach her she gave a small smile, though it wavered as he got closer. 

“Hey, Haruka-kun.” She greeted him as he took a seat across from her. Haru just nodded in response. “Do you want something to drink or eat? My treat.” 

“No thanks.” Haru wasn’t sure he could stomach anything right now. Not when the air around them felt so heavy, sticking to his body and weighing him down. His arms felt like jelly at his sides. 

“Hmm… Well, okay.” She twirled her straw around before taking another sip. “So how are you?”

Why was she doing this? Why was she beating around the bush? Inside Haru’s body was practically crushing itself from nerves and all Hiromi was doing was making it worse. She needed to talk? Then _talk_. But don’t make him have to wait. 

“I’m fine.” He replied bluntly. “Why are we here, Hiromi?” She jumped a little out of surprise from his impatience, but overcame it quickly, a nervous smile slipping over her lips as she pushed her glass away. 

“I suppose small talk is useless with you, isn’t it.” She began tracing shapes into the wood. Haru watched as she went from drawing a heart to a star to a square and than back again. “I just… I don’t want to- Argh, this is hard!” Exasperated, Hiromi slapped her hand to the table and looked away. 

“You’re the one who asked me here.” Haru whispered quietly, watching her face. 

“That doesn’t make it any less difficult.” She replied, almost sounding bitter as their eyes met. Through the glow of the setting sun outside the window, her eyes were dazzling even as they grew a wet glaze, sparkling as though they were made up of a bunch of shiny little crystals. Haru’s reflected back much the same, his showing the innocence in which Hiromi had always lacked. 

“Haruka-kun… About Mako-kun… what is he to you?” It was a broad question, one of which that could be filled with as many answers as there were stars in the sky. To pick one was selling Makoto short. In the end, Haru went with a bit of honesty. 

“A very important person.” He was the sun in the sky, the bright stars at night. Makoto lit up his world like nobody else could, like nobody else ever would. He was his life, his world, his _home_. 

“Yeah.” She looked at him with a struggling expression, gazing out of the window to avoid his eyes. “He said the same thing too.” Haru clenched his hands, not even able to regain his breath from her words as Hiromi looked back at him again. She saw through him, eyes piercing right into his crumbling facade and took away any chance he had to hide. He was there right in front of her now, as clear as day. The stare on her face looked devastated. 

“Don’t- Don’t make that expression!” she cried, running her fingers through her hair. “It’s not right of you!” A bit caught off-guard, Haru shrunk back into his booth. “Why must you…” Hiromi stopped herself, trying to gather her bearings with a deep breath of air. When she spoke again, she sounded more composed. “Look… Haruka-kun. I-I know.” 

In any other situation, that could have meant anything. It could have been something small and stupid, or even something from a very long time ago. It could have even been an embarrassing story that she had heard about him through the passing of Makoto. But here, in this very moment, I know could mean only one thing. 

“What do you know?” but he feigned ignorance anyway, feinted the fact that he very well knew what she was talking about. He hated this conversation, hated it with every fiber of his being but he could not bring himself to stand up and walk away. It was all too heavy to move. He should have never come in the first place.

“I’ve noticed something was strange for a while, you know.” She laughed, though there wasn’t an ounce of happiness in it. “You two were always close, and I… tried to respect that, really I did, but ever since the club it’s been different. _You’ve_ been different. Mako-kun hasn’t noticed anything, maybe because you don’t want him to see, but I have.” Hiromi took a deep breath, preparing what she was going to say next. Haru did much the same. 

“Haruka-kun, you’re in love with Mako-kun, aren’t you.” It didn’t come out as a question, but a statement. How could it be when they both knew the answer so obviously? Haru fiddled with his fingers, pressed his foot into the ground, and looked up at her awaiting eyes. 

“Yes.” There was no struggle in his answer, the word coming out as easy as breathing. What was the point when there was no way to deny how he felt? 

“You won’t even deny it?” she wiped at her eyes, which were glazing over with tears. 

“You already know it’s the truth, don’t you?” Haru asked her quietly. “I’m not going to put a show on for you and try to deny my feelings.” Her lip trembled as some tears started to roll down her face. 

“I still wanted to be wrong. I wanted to be imagining things or _something_. But I’ve seen the way you look at him when you think nobody can see you. It was such honest love… anybody would be a fool not to see it.” She sniffed into a napkin. 

“Do you understand how this feels for me to know this? I love him too, you know! I’m his girlfriend! You-you have no right to look at him like that!

“He’s with me now, Haruka-kun. You can’t just waltz into everything with your feelings and expect it all to go your way. It’s not fair to Mako-kun, and it’s definitely not fair to me. I hate to be m-mean but I just… I can’t take this anymore… Haruka-kun, I… I don’t want you to hang out with Mako-kun anymore.”

Static. All that surrounded him was static. Hiromi’s voice, the sound of the radio, even the sound of his heart. Haru could hear none of it through the sound of his world crashing down on him. It was the same as when he had first learned Makoto had said yes. The same feeling, the same sensation. In all this time nothing had changed. 

“What?” It was the only sound he could articulate as he struggled to sturdy the wall he was using to shelter himself. Bit by bit, pieces were flying off and clattering to dust at his feet. The defense he had been setting up for weeks was utterly destroyed by Hiromi. 

“I-I know it’s awful of me to request something like that, but think about how I feel! If you were me, would you want someone else who’s in love with Mako-kun hanging around? I can’t even sleep right now because of it. I’m so worried that something is going to happen if I’m not there. Do you realize how much it sucks not being able to trust your boyfriend? It makes no difference that you’re a guy, or his best friend. I don’t think I can handle you two being alone anymore. I can’t do it, I really can’t.” 

“You want me to take Makoto out of my life? I can’t do that, Hiromi.” Who could take the sun, the moon, the sky away from someone and think they could live? 

“You can’t hold onto him forever, Haruka-kun! Both you and Mako-kun need to learn how to live without each other. The closeness the two of you have is _weird_. How do you expect to survive out here when all you do is coddle each other? Besides,” she hugged herself, looking right into his eyes.

“What are you going to do when Mako-kun finds out, Haruka-kun? Do you think nothing will change when he knows?” Haru’s face went pale, all heat in his body replaced with numbing cold. “Do you think Mako-kun will be able to look at you the same way once he knows the truth?”

“M-Makoto isn’t like that.” Haru tried to convince her, tried to convince himself. “It won’t change anything.” But Haru was sure he was lying because there was no way it wouldn’t change anything. For better or for worse, their relationship would never be the same again once he uttered those three words to him. Haru was convinced it would be for worse. 

“He could never say it back. Not in the way you want. He can’t even say it to me, and I’m his girlfriend.” 

“I-It doesn’t matter. I don’t need him to say it.” 

“If things stay like this, you’ll hurt him.” Those words sunk in like needles to the heart, and Haru clutched his bag to himself like it would somehow keep him adrift in this storm. “You don’t want that, do you?” 

“No.” Haru was shaking, his mind frozen on those three words. _You’ll hurt him_. He would sooner jump off a cliff than allow any harm to come to Makoto. If being by his side truly became painful for him, than that was no longer a place he wanted to be. 

“I didn’t think so.” Hiromi whispered quietly, her eyes no longer wet. “I won’t belittle your feelings, Haruka-kun. I know you care about Mako-kun more than anything. But you’ve had your chance for 19 years. It’s my turn now. Mako-kun is no longer yours. Please respect that.”

Haru’s throat burned and he struggled to swallow, but could barely keep any oxygen down around the lump that continued to grow. If he had done things differently, he wouldn’t be here right now. He wouldn’t be sitting here, agreeing with Hiromi that it might be best to leave Makoto’s side after all. 

But he hadn’t and so here he was, with each ticking second coming to terms that his life with Makoto was about to abruptly end.

Hiromi was right, after all. Him sticking around in this type of situation would do nothing but hurt all of them in the end. He known that since the beginning, but had been avoiding it like the plague nonetheless. A story like this wasn’t meant to have a happy ending. 

Makoto wasn’t his anymore. He was tired of trying to resist this fact. In the beginning it had seemed like it would be easy, pushing his feelings to the far off reaches of his mind. He couldn’t have been more wrong. Every day felt like he was pushing his body a bit more beyond its limits. It was too painful, now, to try and smile and pretend everything was okay. His heart had to accept that. 

If he would have known this would happen, he would have tried to schedule one more café break, or gave him something special, or even just have texted him a good morning back this morning instead of just setting the phone aside. He would have tried making the time more memorable, if not for Makoto than at least for himself. Makoto would survive without him in his life. Haru knew he couldn’t.

Grabbing his stuff, Haru abruptly stood up. Like elastic stretched too thin, Haru could feel his body about to break down and snap. 

“Is that all?” the corners of his eyes burned harshly and he could barely see straight anymore. Hiromi nodded. 

“I said all I wanted to say.” She murmured quietly, unable to look Haru directly in the eye. Haru turned his back towards her. “Wait, Haruka-kun, where are you-“ 

“I won’t bother you anymore.” Haru bit his cheek to stop his voice from wavering. “He’s yours Hiromi. Take care of him.” 

“Haruka-kun I’m sorry...!” Haru didn’t care what she had to say beyond that, grabbing the handle of the café and swiftly leaving before his entire soul tore in two. The bell clanged loudly at his exit. 

The moment he was out of site from the windows, he burst into a run. The path home was all a blur, the people, the buildings, the cars, everything. His feet knew the way and he trusted them, not allowing his thoughts to act in fear that he would lose it before he arrived at someplace safe. 

When he reached the door of his apartment he was shaking so badly that he dropped his keys on the ground twice before he was able to click it into the lock, throwing it open with enough aggression to dent the wall inside. 

Haru slid the door closed with a click, clutching the handle tight enough to turn his knuckles white. Just like that, the adrenaline from his run was gone.

Was he really not going to see Makoto again? Was this truly the end for them? No more cheery smiles or gentle touches or tender talks. There wasn’t going to be any more hands offering to pull him out of the pool, nor any more surprise study sessions and green curry dinners. 

Haru pressed his forehead against the wood of the door, his lips beginning to tremble. 

He wasn’t going to hear Haru-chan again.

A sob escaped between his lips.

_I want to swim with you!_

_You really are the best in the water, Haru-chan!_

_It’s meaningless without you!_

Haru let out a broken cry, kicking the door as tears started sliding down his face. He couldn’t do this. How could he survive without Makoto?

His toe throbbed as he pathetically slid down the door, crying into his knees. The pain in his chest was unbearable, and he was so positively sure that his heart was going to twist into two. A life without Makoto was not a life he wanted to have. He would sooner get rid of water. 

At this thought he let out an ugly croak, snot dripping from his nose as he began to cry harder, curling into a ball at the foot of the door. His head ached, his throat throbbed, and he was sure was breaking into nothing. He couldn’t do this he couldn’t it was too much too fucking much… 

With gasping hiccups Haru reached for his bag, throwing items left in right in search for his phone. Once found he kicked all of it to the side and pressed the contact he was searching for. Haru lost another sob as the phone began to ring. 

“Haru? Well isn’t this unexpected!” 

“R-Rin.” Haru stuttered into the phone, sniffing into the receiver. “Rin can you talk?” There was a pause on the other side.

“Haru are you crying?” despite being on the phone Haru nodded, wiping at his eyes with his palm. 

“Rin please, I don’t know what to do anymore. I c-can’t do this!” 

“Is this about Makoto?” Just at his name Haru gave a whimper as fresh tears slithered down his face, and that was more than enough to let Rin know that he had hit the nail on the head. 

“Okay okay. Shit, umm-“the phone made a loud static noise as Rin shuffled with some things on his end. “What happened?” 

“I don’t think I can see him anymore.” 

“Wait _what_? I don’t understand-“ 

“It would be better for everyone if I didn’t…” 

“Like hell! Haru-“

“But Rin, it hurts so much! It hurts to even breathe right now-“

“HARU!” Rin shouted, loud enough to stop Haru mid sob. “Okay, listen to me. Take a deep breath. I can barely understand you right now.” 

“I’m sorry…” Haru mumbled into the phone, pulling at his hair. “I just…” 

“Shhh.” Rin shushed gently into the phone. “Haru can you do something for me? Get yourself a big glass of water, take a deep breath, and crawl into bed with your laptop. I want to talk to you about this face-to-face.” 

“Okay…”Haru’s voice came out weak in reply, biting his lip hard when he heard Rin hang up. 

Getting up took a good five minutes, Haru continuing to stay in his ball as another wave of hot tears spilled down his cheeks and down onto the carpet. His ribs ached with each sob that shook his body, hands trembling as they pulled at the fabric covering his shoulders. He could sense his nails digging even into his skin, but everything felt numb to the point where he couldn’t even feel the pain it should have been bringing him. 

It was exhausting to even get onto his feet. The whole way to the sink Haru wobbled on his legs, unable to even care if the glass he used was clean or dirty. He filled it up about halfway before pressing it carefully against his lips, sipping it as if testing for poison. Seconds later he was swallowing it in big gulps, the coolness of the liquid calming his tender throat and burning insides. He drank two more glasses before being satisfied. 

His laptop was already in his room so Haru headed straight there, grabbing it with one hand before pulling his blankets over his shoulders with the other as he sat on his bed. Seconds after having the screen up the volume was already ringing with a call. 

“Do you feel better now?” Haru shook his head at Rin, pulling his blankets closer to him. The redhead looked at him with worry. “Tell me what happened.” Haru took in a shaky breath, eyes shining bright. The wetness of his lashes felt good against his burning hot face.

“Hiromi realized my feelings.” He curled his knees to his chest. “She sent me a message last night saying she wanted to talk about something, so I met up with her today and… she told me how she felt about the situation. She… doesn’t...” Haru took a deep breath, voice breaking. “She doesn’t want me to see Makoto anymore.”

“That… bitch!” Rin’s face looked livid, Haru jumping at the aggressiveness of his voice. “Who does she think she is, asking you not to hang out with Makoto anymore? If I was in Tokyo I’d freaking slug her right across the face.” Haru hid his face away out of sight from Rin. 

“I’m not going to see him anymore.” Rin was silent for a good 30 seconds. 

“Oi, Haru. You can’t be _serious_.” 

“Rin, I can’t do this anymore!” Haru rubbed at his eyes because dammit he was crying yet again. “This whole situation is too much for me. I thought I could do it but I can barely pretend I’m alright anymore! If I keep hanging around, It’s just going to cause everyone else problems.” 

“The only one who’s truly hurting from this right now is _you_. Makoto doesn’t even know what’s going on because you won’t fucking tell him. I mean look at you, Haru! Just the idea of it is tearing you apart! I’ve never seen you go even a week without seeing him, let alone talking to him.” Rin gestured to the screen. “You can’t do this to yourself… It’s self-destructive.” 

“Don’t you get it, Rin? I’ve lost…”

“No, you’ve given up. You’re not even trying to fight for him anymore!” 

“Rin… please…” Haru’s voice broke and he bit onto his knuckle to stop himself from letting out another sob that was nestled in the back of his throat and threatening to come out. 

“You can’t survive without him, Haru.” Rin whispered gently. “I know you don’t need my help in realizing that.” 

“I hate Tokyo… I _hate_ it so _much_.” Haru buried his face in his knees with a cry. “I want to go _home _.”__

__“Har-“ a loud click of a doorknob stopped Rin before he could even start, and the red head turned around with a groan._ _

__“Why aren’t you answering your phone?” Haru knew that deep voice, even without glancing up._ _

__“Shit, Sousuke.” Rin looked to be at the end of his ropes. “Sorry I was talking with Haru.”_ _

__“Nanase?” He seemed to become suddenly aware of the computer screen sitting in front of the redhead and bent down to see the picture better. Of course, all that greeted him was the bundle Haru had curled himself into._ _

__“He’s going through some stuff…” was all Rin elaborated on. Sousuke stuck his hands in his pockets._ _

__“Oh. Not to tear you away or anything, but we need to get going if you want to make it to the meeting on time.”_ _

__“Shit, it’s that late already?” Rin looked at the clock, pushing his hair back with exasperation. “Crap. Uh, Haru?” Haru remained unmoved. “I have a really important seminar I _have_ to go to, couch required it and everything and I-“ Rin paused for a moment, as if contemplating something._ _

__“You know what, fuck this. Sorry Haru, I can’t leave you to suffer alone. Sousuke, sit with him.” He pushed his boyfriend right into the seat. “I’ll be right back.” Before either of them could even utter a single noise Rin was snatching his phone and walking right out of the room._ _

__Sousuke blinked at the screen. “So… uh. Rough day?” Haru peered over his arm, eyes red and tears stained onto his cheeks._ _

__“What do you think?”_ _

__“I guess that was a stupid question.” Sousuke itched at the back of his neck, hoping Rin would get back damn soon. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on or whatever but… my old coach always told me that the world is only negative when you look at it that way. If you believe it will get better, than it will. But if you mope about, than all you will see is black and white instead of color.” He awkwardly shifted his feet. “It was the advice that got me through my shoulder injury. Maybe it’s helpful to you, I dunno. It might not pertain to your situation. I Just- yeah.” Sousuke summed up lamely._ _

__Haru tightened the grip on his legs, looking at Sousuke with a tilt of his head._ _

__“…Thanks.” Out of everybody, Haru would have never thought words from Sousuke were the ones that made his body tingle slightly with warmth._ _

__Dramatically flinging the door open as Rin does, he return with a loud _thunk_ , stuffing his pocket with his phone and leaning over Sousuke shoulder. _ _

__“Okay Haru, listen. Don’t get mad, but I called Nagisa up and told him what was going on-“_ _

__“ _Rin_.” Haru’s voice cracked in pitch, staring at the redhead in betrayal. Rin held up his hand to silence him. _ _

__“-and him and Rei are going to be on skype for you in just a second. I know, you’re mad, but I can’t leave you here like this with good conscience.” Haru hid his face into his knees again. Well, so much for that warm spark Sousuke gave him._ _

__“Look, I know you don’t want anyone to know. But if you can’t tell Makoto, at least trust in your friends to be here for you.” As if on time, the skype tone began to ring. Rin added him to the call._ _

__“Uwah Haru-Chan!” Nagisa was jumping at the screen as soon as the video connected, looking like he was just about to burst into tears. “I want to hug you so bad! If it wasn’t a school night Rei-chan and I would fly out to you in an instant!” Rei, who was at his side, was nodding in his own agreement._ _

__“The distance has never felt so long, Haruka-sempai.” Haru bit his cheek to try and contain his emotions. Just hearing Nagisa and Rei’s voices was enough to fill his stomach with homesickness to an overwhelming point. He missed them, he missed Iwatobi, he missed his pool, his tub, his ocean... Most of all he missed the way things used to be. Makoto at his side, Nagisa pestering Rei up in front, and the world just being… right._ _

__But that was all just a memory now. Such moments could only survive in the past. There was no way to return to such a fairytale anymore._ _

__“Take care of him, okay guys?” Rin said to Nagisa and Rei quietly. “I hate to run but I really can’t miss this. Cheer him up, get some mackerel in him, and try to talk him out of anything stupid. Haru,” Rin glanced over to him. “The seminar won’t be too long, I’ll call you when it gets done, okay?” Haru nodded into his knees. “Hang in there.” The screen filled with Nagisa and Rei as Rin ended his side of the call._ _

__“Haru-chan…” Nagisa’s voice wavered, as if unsure of what to say. He exchanged a glance with Rei. Nagisa decided to try again. “Haru-chan, Rin-chan said that… you fell in love with Mako-chan. Is that… true?” Tugging at the hem of his pants, Haru tried to breathe and calm himself before answering._ _

__“Yeah…. I love him.” Haru squeezed his eyes shut. “I love him a lot.”_ _

__“Haruka-sempai, do you… really mean that?” Haru’s eyes began to sting. How could Rei even ask something like that?_ _

__“ I’ve never been so sure about something in my life.”_ _

__“See, Mako-chan. I told you.” A voice, thick with emotion, filtered in from off-screen._ _

__“Haru…” Haru gave a sob of agony, covering his mouth with trembling fingers as the third voice registered to his ears. He couldn’t see, couldn’t feel, couldn’t breathe. _Makoto… Makoto had-…__ _

__“Nagisa what did you do!?” Haru cried at the screen, sharp needle pricks surrounding his chest and spreading outward, his entire stomach feeling like it had all but disappeared. He looked left and right, up and down, to the corner of his room and back, his eyes searching for everything and yet nothing as panic began to shatter him. Heavy breathing filled the room, Haru reaching up to his throat to pull off the invisible fingers suffocating him, his head so dizzy that the room swam and swirled. The look he gave to his kouhai was nothing short of betrayal._ _

__“Haru-chan, I’m sorry!” Nagisa had his own tears now. “This was Rin-chan’s idea… He said- He said that you were suffering and this was the only way to help you!”_ _

__“I didn’t ask for anybody’s help! I-I just-“_ _

__“H-Haru I’m coming over.” Makoto interrupted, his own voice cracking. “We need to talk-”_ _

__“N-No!” Haru shouted at him. “I don’t want to talk about anything!”_ _

__“Haru-“ Haru grabbed the top of his laptop and slammed it shut, burying his face into his blankets. Not three seconds later his phone was buzzing, Makoto’s name lit up on the screen. Haru pressed ignore. Two more times he called, Haru ending them as soon as the buzz rang. Nagisa called. Rei called. On Makoto’s fifth try, Haru pressed green and set it against his ear._ _

__“Makoto, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”_ _

__“Haru-“_ _

__“It’s best for either of us.” Haru continued, desperately trying to cut him off._ _

__“It’s not-“_ _

__“You have Hiromi, you don’t need me anymo-“_ _

__“HARUKA PLEASE!” Makoto’s voice shook with a sob. “Don’t… Don’t say anymore!” Of the heart that he thought was already broken, another piece of it managed to shatter more. Both lines were silent, Haru crying quietly into his pillow._ _

__“Haru, listen to me.” Makoto was struggling to even talk, his voice slightly muddled from background noises. “I’m… I’m getting on the train now. Please just… wait for me.”_ _

__As the line went dead Haru searched for Rin’s number and sent him a text._ _

_Why?_

Why did Rin do this to him? Why couldn’t Rin mind his own business? Everyone knew now. Makoto knew. Now all he could do is drown in the abyss that he had created, uncertain of so many things except for his desire for everything to just stop. 

To his surprise, he received a reply minutes later. 

_Because Makoto feels the same_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will stitch you all back together with fluff, I promise.  
> in the meantime, here's a stress ball. ( ~ ) 
> 
>  
> 
> To the person who asked whether or not this is tortuous to me, you should know that I nearly cried twice while writing this chapter. Haru is my precious child and making him hurt makes me hurt :( . But I know how this story will continue so you can say I get to cheat and peak ahead at the upcoming chapters. It definitely keeps me going. Hopefully that thought will give you strength as well :). 
> 
> As for people commenting about Makoto being ooc, I get where you're coming from. Though I love my Mako-chan dearly, he is a complex character that's hard for me to grasp as a writer. You can say that he's the biggest challenge for me in this fic. Haru I can relate to. Makoto I can't really say I can. 
> 
> But please also keep in mind that we have only seen into his head twice in this story. We are seeing most of this from Haru's point of view, who, in some ways, kind of shows Makoto as the bad guy. 
> 
> In no way do I want Makoto to come off as such. 
> 
> Makoto has his reasons for the things he is doing, and I would like to request that that is kept in mind while reading this story until we jump into his head once more. With that said, I'll do my best to keep improving on my writing and provide a Makoto we all can be proud of.
> 
> Again and again, I want to thank you all for giving my fic a chance and I appreciate each and every one of you.
> 
> Until next chapter, Swim free precious Makoharu babies.   
> I'm seeing things looking up in your future.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I wish to link my dreams to reality like this again."   
> -Haruka in their duet, "Always Here"

Rin’s words refused to sink in, no matter how hard Haru tried to understand them. It was impossible. He could recognize the words contextually, but the meaning was far beyond his abilities. It was as if reading a foreign language- he could announce the words out loud, even in perfect annunciation, but all that he could take from it was that it meant _something_. The intent was lost in some labyrinth of a maze with walls so tall they reached far beyond the sky. Haru couldn’t even move, unable to persuade his feet to head towards unveiling the truth hidden in the depths of Rin’s words. 

Instead, Haru hid. Grabbing the edge of his blanket he covered himself, burying into his make-shift shield and attempted sanctuary. In here, he felt that maybe the outside world would stop and he wouldn’t have to understand anymore. After all, it was easier to hide, to run away then to confront what was soon to blow down his door. 

He was being a coward. Haru knew that more than anybody. He was afraid of Makoto, his best friend, of all people. The person that he loved. Surely he had the strength to stand up and fight, if it was towards him… 

But Haru didn’t. Because it was Makoto, he was spineless. Instead of pushing the fear out like he normally did, he was left consumed by it. All the worries, all the un-sures. They roamed free while Haru curled up in the corner of his mind, too terrified to move. There was no light anymore. 

At the sudden sound of his apartment door colliding into the wall for the second time that day, Haru curled himself tighter into his bundle of blankets. His heart pounded faster than the footsteps that ran, thudding even more so when they came to a stop. There was a brisk, unrelenting silence that filled the air. 

“Haru…” At Makoto’s voice Haru twitched further into himself, cuddling his hands and the fabric that covered them tight against his lips. It felt wrong to avoid Makoto, almost as if he was betraying himself for doing so. But he lacked the strength to uncover himself in fear of what he might find. An indifferent Makoto. A regretful Makoto. A Makoto that did not love him. 

“Haru.” This time Makoto’s voice was stronger, more resolved in calling out his name. Haru did his best to ignore him, even as his body felt a primal need to respond. _Makoto… Makoto was calling for him_...

That was when a warmness spread across Haru’s shoulder.

In an instant Haru sprang to life and was pulling away from the touch as if it burned him, attempting to run, because how can the pain gnawing at your chest possibly be soothed by the person causing it? It was impossible- futile! 

But Makoto didn’t seem to believe so. The moment Haru started to move he kneeled one leg onto the bed and desperately grabbed at his shoulders, tearing the blanket away from his face as if he was suffocating underneath it. At the loss of his last sanctuary, Haru gave a whimper before using shaking fists to try to push away from the brunette’s chest. 

“Why are you fighting me!?” Makoto voice broke as he tried to pull Haru’s fists into his hands and stop the resistance against himself. With Haru’s current lack of strength he succeed, grabbing both fists tightly and holding them above their heads, forcing Haru into an unsteady kneel.

“Because!” Haru refused to look up and so instead stared at the crumpled blanket between them, eyes wet as new tears began to form. He bit his lip hard to stop them. “I have to! I can’t-” 

“Are you really that afraid of what I came here to say?” Makoto tightened his grip. “Are you really that scared of me?” A palm that was always so gentle and kind was now holding on with shaking fingers. Any more pressure and Haru would have surely felt pain. It terrified him. 

“…Yes.” Haru breathed, looking up into green as a tear escaped down his cheek. All he found there was devastation. 

Makoto looked at Haru with the gaze of absolute despair, his eyes, so usually filled to the brim with sunshine, now dark green and trembling before him. They were no longer wide and excitable, but instead heavy, weighed down into slits as Haru’s words hit him in full force. 

“H-Haru…” Meant to be strong, Makoto’s voice came out in a barely-there whisper. “You know I’d… I would never…” With a choking noise Makoto abruptly stopped, words suddenly too hard for him to convey. Instead he lowered their hands so they laid between them, curling his fingers into Haru’s fists and unraveling them with some effort, petting the back of Haru’s hand with a gentle stroke of his thumb. 

Quietly, Makoto began to cry. It wasn’t like how it was with Haru. There wasn’t any sobbing or choked breaths, or even an ugly sound. His tears were completely silent, gliding down his face like rain to a window in quite somber. There was no way to know where they stopped and where they began, just a steady stream to join in Haru’s already created lake.

“I’m sorry Haru I just… I have to know.” Makoto sniffed, rolling his eyes around like that would somehow stop his tears. “Is Haru-chan really in love with me?” 

“What, you want me to say it again!?” Haru tried to pull his hands away but Makoto wouldn’t let go, holding on as if he would float out of his reach if he did. It was cruel of him, unbelievably cruel to expect him to say it all over again. “Didn’t you hear it clearly the first time!?” Able to get his hands away with a frantic tug, Haru reached for what was closest to him and began pathetically smacking Makoto with a pillow. 

Makoto easily grabbed it to a stop, Haru struggling to gain control of it. 

“I-I did but..! Right here, right now! I need to know! I need to hear how you feel!” 

As aggressively as he could Haru shoved the pillow into Makoto’s chest and head-butted him, burying his face into the disarrayed pillow. 

Why? Why was it like this? Did the world really want to see him die this much? 

“Yes Makoto I love you!” Haru practically screamed, his throat burning. “I love you so much that everyday hurts and it feels like I can never breathe! God I fucking love you, Makoto! But,” Haru attempted to breathe, but all it sounded like was a wheeze. “But I know you can’t return it! I’m-I’m not stupid! So please-” 

“Haru-“

“You have Hiromi-“

“ _Haru_ -!” 

“I know where I’m not wanted-“ The pillow was tossed away and blazing palms grasped both sides of his face, pulling Haru in a swift motion up to Makoto’s level, nothing but a breath apart. His hands practically sizzled against the wetness of Haru’s cheeks. 

And then Makoto’s lips pressed against his and the world ceased to exist. 

It was small and chaste, soft with a gentle pressure that made Haru’s head dizzy and his insides melt. His heart didn’t just spark; it ignited. Every inch of him burned with an untamable fire, his soul lit with a bright flame. And yet he was frozen, taken completely off-guard by the fact that Makoto was _kissing_ him. 

_Because Makoto feels the same_. 

Oh. _Oh_. Rin’s words no longer seemed foreign. They seemed right. They seemed _perfect_. His doubt in the red-head was completely gone, all sense of betrayal fluttering to the wind as Makoto pulled him closer.

What he had imagined couldn’t even compare to the reality. His lips were certainly soft, but there was a toughness to them too, strong just like the rest of him. And the heat of them; Makoto was a natural furnace but his lips burned the hottest, enflaming his cooler lips until they nearly burned at the same intensity. 

But Haru had been right on one thing. His lips were home. Like this he felt completely safe, the threat of his fallen world no longer reaching him. As far as he was concerned, there was no other world.

Gently, like coaxing a baby bird, Makoto titled his head and began to move his lips, carefully deepening their press. Haru, sure of only his desire to keep this feeling in his heart alive, timidly moved his own. 

He had no idea what he was doing- it was quite obvious from the start. But Makoto seemed okay with that. He took the lead with tender grace, moving their mouths together in a simple rhythm that Haru quickly caught onto, visibly shivering at Makoto’s touch. Shyly he clutched at Makoto’s shirt, unsure of what to do with his hands but still harvesting a desire to be touching Makoto. 

When Makoto began to pull away, Haru yanked his shirt to bring him right back, cold air touching his lips for but a second before Makoto once again was kissed him. He couldn’t let Makoto stop, not yet, not when he had been graced with a bit of heaven. 

He didn’t need the oxygen. He didn’t need to breathe. All he needed was Makoto.

Makoto smiled into the kiss this time, rubbing at Haru’s tear stains with his thumbs before sliding his fingers back into his hair, entangling them into the messy black void. Haru, unsure but eager, kissed at Makoto lovingly, enjoying the way Makoto’s lips caressed against his own, how amazingly sweet they tasted and how sunny they now felt with a smile now adorning across his face. 

He could have stayed as they were forever. 

As their lips once again were torn apart Haru immediately felt a small sense of loss, though that sense quickly left him as Makoto bonked their noses together. 

“Haru I love you. My feelings are the same. So please… don’t say that you’re not wanted. Don’t take yourself away from me. I couldn’t bear it if I lost you. I love you… I love you so much.”

Makoto… loved him. It was the same. Their feelings were the same. Haru couldn’t even fathom this thought, he mind frozen and thick like mud as he tried to grasp onto the situation. His heart had impossible rhythm, beating rapidly at one second but then stopping the next. It was too hard to grasp the meanings and connotations that could be behind Makoto saying these things to him, but there was one thing he could understand. Love. And that was really all he needed. 

“O-okay.” His voice thick with emotion, Haru reached up and wrapped his arms around Makoto’s neck, burying his face into his best friend’s cheek. “If you’ll have me…” 

“Not a day has gone by that I haven’t wished to have you at my side.” Makoto whispered, brushing Haru’s hair back with careful fingers. Last minute tears fluttered down Makoto’s face as he blinked.“To have you say that you suddenly don’t want to see me anymore… I thought my heart stopped beating. I could barely breathe…” Makoto pulled away slightly to look at him, and Haru could see the pain of his words reflected in Makoto’s eyes. “What happened Haru? What suddenly changed?” 

Biting his lip, Haru turned his head to the side and tightened his grip on Makoto’s shirt. He couldn’t bring himself to state the reason, the truth of it all weighing heavily upon his tongue. 

“Noth-“

“Please don’t say nothing.” Makoto interrupted quietly, stroking the nape of Haru’s neck with his thumb. It was a gentle touch, but Haru could feel the tension in his press. “I know that it’s not true.”

In that instant Haru realized that nothing in this moment would cause Makoto more pain than being lied to. He took a deep breath. 

“Hiromi told me she didn’t want me to see you anymore…” 

“ _...what_?” Makoto’s response was breathless, slowly pulling away his fingers to hang back at his side as the rest of his body grew ridged. 

“She… didn’t think it was right of me to stick around with such strong feelings for you. She said it was in the best interest of all of us if I… left you alone.” Haru’s voice faded to nothing, releasing Makoto to place his hands in his lap. Even with Makoto here, offering actual proof that all of those words were completely _wrong_ , Haru was still left with a sharp pain in his chest at the simple idea. If Rin hadn’t interfered, If Nagisa and Rei hadn’t agreed to help, he would be sitting here all alone without a home to return to. 

“…When did she do this?” Makoto’s jaw was unbelievably tight, making the words come out sharp and abrupt. Even without touch Haru could see him shaking, his knuckles turning white as he clutched his knees. 

“This afternoon.” 

“Hiromi-chan made you cry.” It was not a question, but a statement, one of which turned Makoto’s eyes stone cold. “Hiromi-chan hurt you.”   
Haru looked at his hands, rubbing his thumb against a finger in unanswerable silence. Like searchlights he could feel Makoto’s eyes on him, exploring each and every inch of skin with not even a hair forgotten. 

“She had no right…” Makoto whispered, his voice thick. “No right to ask that of you.” 

Makoto was angry. Haru could feel it through the air, dangerous sparks practically flickering right off the brunette’s skin even as he just kneeled there. It wasn’t an often occurrence, rarely ever, but Haru knew well enough to be cautious when Makoto became this way. It wasn’t so much his physical appearance that changed, but that his inner-self flashed electric. 

Because of that, Haru could sense it the most. His lips became thin. His body grew hard. His eyes lost their usual brightness. But there was also this overall sense of gravity, as if the air around Makoto suddenly grew thicker and pulled the breathable oxygen right out of the room. The sensation was akin to that of a fierce beast, strong and overbearing in a way that made you want to run. It could make Makoto terrifying. Haru had never been on the opposing force of it. He had, however, been a witness when Makoto confronted a bully teasing his siblings. 

“Makoto…” Haru reached over to grab one of his hands, hoping to somehow soothe him. “She wasn’t- Hiromi was just trying to do what she thought was best. It wasn’t her goal to upset me-“

“I don’t care!” Makoto cried, face animated. He desperately held onto the hand Haru offered him with both his own, squeezing it tightly. “Her reasons don’t matter to me! She _hurt_ you Haru!” 

“It was supposed to be for your best interest.” Makoto laughed at Haru’s words, sounding all but natural from the sheer force of it. 

“My best interest? Haru, _you_ are my best interest. If there is a life that I could never live without, it’s yours. Without you, it’s all meaningless.” Haru swallowed hard.

“You’ve said that before.” He looked at Makoto shyly through his bangs. “Back in Iwatobi about the relay.”

“I meant it. About swimming, about the team. Even now, here in Tokyo. Everything feels meaningless when I don’t have you here with me.” Haru felt his cheeks grow pink, though a frown crossed his lips as a thought crossed his mind. 

“Is that how Hiromi makes you feel?” Haru expect Makoto to pause, to stop and think about for at least a moment. Instead the response was instantaneous. 

“No.” Haru’s heart swelled in his chest, thumping against his ribs in a peaceful drum. Having drowned in painful aches for weeks, the change in beat felt nothing short of sensational. He would have liked nothing more than to swim in the warmth forever. 

“Hiromi-chan is sweet, and I do care about her. But Haru, it’s only you that I love.” Caught off-guard by the use of love once more, Haru could only blink as Makoto placed a soft kiss on his cheek. 

“A-are you sure?” He was stupid to question, stupid to bring it to attention, but as long as some doubt lay waiting in his stomach, he had half a mind to call this entire encounter a dream. Haru yearned for proof that showed Makoto’s decision was his own and not just another fantasy. 

“As sure as your eyes are blue.” There was no hesitation nor lie in his eyes, the ice from before chipping away to show honeyed emeralds that only wished to prove his words. 

Softly, his eyes lighting up like candles, Haru began to smile. It rolled like waves inside him and spread to all his parts, engulfing even the deepest part of himself with a delicate light. There was no weight, no sense of mass pulling him down and taking him back into the great abyss that he had been drowning in. He could finally float along and be free. 

Haru no longer needed to be immersed in water to feel bliss. 

With that in mind he began to cry, not out of despair but for everything. He cried for all the pain he suffered for the past two months, all the rough times when he thought he could no longer keep going, and all the lies that he told not to just Makoto but also himself. He cried for the lost time for not knowing things sooner, and the missed opportunities his indifference had caused. But mostly he cried out of relief, knowing that he was not going to lose Makoto, that their feelings were the same. All this time, Makoto would have accepted his love. There had been no reason to be afraid. Haru cried for this most of all. 

Makoto held him in quiet compassion, cradling him like a small child to his chest with gentle strokes to the back, his face pressed into the softness of Haru’s hair. Every now and then he would press light kisses to Haru’s forehead or to the top of his head, offering gentle noises in hope of giving comfort. 

By the time he hiccupped to a stop, Haru could barely keep his eyes open from the sheer weight of his puffed lids.

“Do you need some water?” Makoto asked him, resting his hands on Haru’s lower back. Though the answer would always undoubtedly be yes, Haru shook his head. 

“Makoto, what are you going to do?” Though a rather broad question, Makoto didn’t need any clarification to understand. Haru didn’t expect he would need one. 

“I’ll break up with Hiromi-chan.” At this point, Haru figured as much. He felt Makoto lean into his shoulder. 

“I’ve ruined your relationship. I’m sorry, Makoto.” Haru bit his lip, knowing that no matter how Makoto tried to swing it, he would always be the factor that broke them up. 

“Haru, no.” Makoto shook his head. “All you’ve done is hurt yourself trying to keep me and Hiromi-chan together. It’s me who should be apologizing. I never should have started dating her in the first place. Not when I had feelings for you already.” 

So Makoto had had feelings for him _before_ Hiromi? This made him as happy as it made him sad. Had he been as oblivious as Makoto had been to his own? 

“Don’t regret it.” Haru slowly pulled away to look at him. “At least, I don’t think you should. If… If it wasn’t for Hiromi, I don’t think I would have ever realized how I felt. Things would have just stayed the same. Even if it was painful… It was what I needed to know the truth.” 

“Haru-chan really is kind.” Makoto brushed the hair sticking to his face with an affectionate gaze. “If you say so, then I won’t. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not mad at her for what she said to you. Nothing can make up for that. Is that okay?”

“Mmm.” Haru nodded, finding his response more than acceptable. 

“But,” Makoto sighed, stretching his arms above both their heads. “I’m not going to worry about that right now. Everything can wait until tomorrow. My first and only concern tonight is you.” 

With a gentle slide Makoto separated himself from Haru, standing up and pushing his deranged hair out of his face. “What does Haru want? Some food maybe?” 

His hollowed stomach echoed in answer, causing him to turn a bit pink despite Makoto being unable to hear it. From the anxiety the entire day had brought him, Haru hadn’t been able to stomach even the idea of food. With that, as well as the energy spent on crying and trying to understand all that was going on, Haru was able to conclude the obvious quite easily: he was famished. 

“I could eat.” Haru answered, carefully maneuvering his way off the bed. He felt a bit wobbly as he stood, the after-effects of all his emotions making his legs feel like jelly. As he was now he probably couldn’t carry a pile of books without tipping over. 

“Do you want some mackerel?” Haru looked over at him with a bit of surprise, a very faint gleam in his eyes. 

“I might have some squid if you’d rather have that…” He whispered quietly, not wanting to force the option directly onto him. Makoto just shook his head with a light smile, grabbing Haru’s hand. 

“Rin asked me to get some mackerel in you, remember?” 

“Oh…” That’s right. Makoto had been there when Rin had left. “So he was talking to _you_ before he left.” He felt a squeeze to his hand and looked at Makoto curiously. 

“Rin loves you, Haru. He did all this because he wanted you to be happy. Don’t be too angry with him. Nagisa and Rei too.” 

“I know.” Haru offered a weak smile. “I’m not mad.” At least, not anymore. “They were doing what they thought was best.” 

“Mmm.” Makoto nodded, starting to lead him out of the bedroom and into the rest of the apartment. “Because of them I now know how Haru feels about me. I almost feel as if I should be thanking them.”

Haru felt the same. They were all meddlesome in a way that was almost maddening, but he would be nowhere without them. Rin, and Nagisa and Rei too, they all saved him. 

“Makoto, can you get a new box of rice from the shelf up there?” Arriving in the kitchen, Haru regretfully let go of Makoto’s hand to reach for a pan to cook the fish in. “Some tall idiot decided to put all my groceries on the high shelf.” 

“Wait no Haru, I’m supposed to cook for you!” Makoto looked most upset, pouting his cheeks in puffs as Haru reached to turn the stove on. 

“You touch this pan and I fry you instead.” With a stern gaze, or at least with the strictest expression he could muster in his condition, Haru pointed the frying pan at him. “I appreciate it.” He added. “But I won’t let you cook on my stove until hell freezes over.” 

Chuckling, Makoto held up his hands in submission. 

“Alright, I’ll stay away. You wanted rice, you said? Should I also grab the mackerel out from the fridge?”

“Yeah.” Makoto did as he asked, setting all the ingredients Haru required next to him on the counter, as well as with a bottle of water that he hadn’t asked for. 

“You should drink some of this.” The brunette tapped the cap thrice, calling attention to it. “Your body can’t be used to losing so much water.” Haru wasn’t sure if his words were all out of concern or if Makoto was poking a little fun at how much of his life revolved around water, but he nodded to the request anyways.

“Okay.” 

“Good boy.” Makoto reached over to pat him on the head, then leaning in to kiss the side of his neck with a small peck. 

“W-what am I, a dog?” Haru tried to use words to distract from the fact that he totally had jumped at the contact, already forgetting that Makoto could (and would!) do that now. Makoto, of course, was not fooled, and just laughed instead. 

“Did I startle you?” 

“…no.” God if that wasn’t the most pathetic-sounding lie he had ever given in his life. 

“Hmm.” Makoto hummed, still smiling. “I won’t distract you anymore, don’t worry. Let me know if you need help.” Watching Makoto walk away towards the living room, Haru gave a small sigh of relief. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy the contact, because he most definitely did, but it was just that his heart wasn’t ready yet. His body was still trying to adjust to the fact that things were _different_ now. A good different. An amazing different. To expect himself to go from utter defeat to a heavenized dream in less than an hour and to be totally accepting of it would be like expecting an infant to know how to walk without instruction. He knew it would take adjustment- he hoped that Makoto understood that too. 

“Hey Haru, why is your backpack all over the floor?” Looking up from his train of thought, Haru noticed Makoto leaning down to pick up the contents splattered all over the carpet. 

“I couldn’t find my phone earlier. I just kind of threw it all over the ground and left it there.” Makoto held up something in response.

“I think I stepped on one of your notebooks.” He grimaced. Even from here Haru could see a dirty print of Makoto’s shoe on the cover of his English notes. Haru shrugged in response, looking back at his cooking fish. 

“Its just English. I couldn’t care less.” 

“You really should take your studies more seriously.” Makoto sighed, pulling everything into a pile and sliding it back into Haru’s bag. He stood back up, only to right away reach into his pockets. “Oh, hey, Nagisa is calling me.” Haru’s grip on the pan in front of him tightened considerably. 

“Mako-chan!” Nagisa’s blubbering could be heard in a snotty sob, even from where Haru stood at the stove the minute Makoto pressed talk and held the phone against his ear. He wasn’t even crying coherent sentences. The only words Haru could get out of it where ‘talking’, ‘hate’, and ‘sorry’.

“Nagisa calm down!” Makoto tried to shush him, glancing at Haru for some help. Of course, Haru had none to give. “I can’t understand you. Go blow your nose.” 

Haru stirred the rice. 

“Okay, that’s better.” Walking and talking, Makoto made his way over to where Haru stood. “It’s fine. No, Haru is not off crying in a ditch somewhere. Yes, I’m with him. Yes, we worked it all out. Things are okay now. No, he doesn’t hate you. Nagi- Nagisa! I’m going to give him the phone and you can see for yourself.” Makoto handed the phone to Haru who already had his palm outstretched. 

“Nagisa.”

“HARU-CHAN IM SORRY!” His eardrums throbbing, Haru immediately held the phone away at arm’s length until he was done. “I’m so so so so so so so so sorry!” 

“Nagisa, calm down. I’m not mad at you.”

“But Haru-chan!” Nagisa sniffed, and Haru could practically hear the snot dripping down the blonde’s nose. “You looked so upset and it was all because of us- we just threw you out there without any concern of your feelings! Oh god you must hate us…”

“I don’t hate you, Nagisa.” Haru told him honestly. “I’ll admit it, you scared the shit out of me. I thought I might actually die from all the things I felt. But Makoto came and... well, managed to put me back together. If nothing else I should be thanking you for getting me here. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without the three of you.” 

“Haru-chan…!” The rest that he spoke was incomprehensible, but Haru gave a small smile anyways. He was rather well trained in Nagisa speak to get the gist of it. 

“Yes, yes. I care about you too. I’m going to give you back to Makoto now, okay?”

“O-okay.” Haru handed Makoto his phone back, giving most of his attention back the their meal while still keeping an ear on the conversation Makoto was having behind him. 

“See Nagisa? I told you. Yeah. Yeah. Y-yeah.” Whatever Nagisa said next then turned Makoto’s face bright red. “N-Nagisa! No, don’t ask it again!” Haru could hear the tinkle of laughter on the other side of the line. “Look I have to go. Haru said dinner is almost ready.” _Liar_. “Yes, I’ll let him know to call you. Yes. Oh my god Nagisa you’re killing me!” Makoto abruptly hung up the line. 

“Something wrong?” Haru couldn’t help but smirk a little. 

“N-nothing at all.” Makoto still hadn’t bounced back from his overall blush, looking in all directions that weren’t Haru. “So uh, what do we still need? Plates?” 

“Up there.” Haru pointed, watching him curiously. “You sure you’re okay?” Makoto paused from reaching up, looking at him with eyes that went from hectic to gentle. 

“Yeah. I’m good. More than good, actually.” Haru curled his toes, each tingling from his gaze. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy.” 

It was kind of funny. Haru could have said the same. 

 

 

It went without being said that Makoto was going to spend the night. Haru didn’t have to ask, Makoto didn’t have to tell. They ate their meal like they always did, sitting across from one another with minimal discussion taking up the air. There was, of course, a little bit of difference. When they made eye contact, they sung. When one of them wasn’t looking, they admired. And sitting right in the middle of the table was their hands, laying right next to each other with their pinkies interlocked. The desire to touch wasn’t stifling- they could have managed without any at all- but it was there, and instead of ignoring it they did it in the most comfortable way possible. By a simple touch. 

When dinner was done Haru left for a bath as Makoto offered to do the dishes. Sitting there in the tub he found that his need to be in the water decreased exponentially. He still loved it- the way it cooled his skin, hugged him in all its gentle ways and gave him an overall sense of tranquility and security.

But he wanted to be with Makoto. 

For the first time in maybe all of his life, he could have cared less if he sat in the water another minute. It wasn’t an act of betrayal for him to leave the water prematurely. It just meant that he had finally, in his young 19 years, found something that he loved more than his greatest treasure. The water was more than accepting on giving him away. 

That was why he was able to be gone only 15 minutes. That was why he didn’t even allow the skin on his palms to prune. That was why he, Haruka Nanase, could smile even as he drained the tub. 

“Wow that was quick.” Makoto peered over the couch from where he sat as Haru returned, the TV playing on low in front of him. All he could see was a cartoon cat and duck talking on the screen. Haru shrugged as he ran the towel through his hair, his pajama pants hanging loosely off his legs.   
“I didn’t need that much time. What are you watching, anyways?” 

“Oh, it’s this show I used to watch with Ren and Ran back home. It’s about a brother and sister getting into whacky adventures together.” Makoto patted the couch for Haru to come sit, to which Haru quickly complied to. 

“How can they be siblings? They aren’t even the same species.” 

“They have different parents.” Makoto informed him brightly. “See, that’s the mom and the dad should be coming home… right about now! I’ve seen this episode before.” 

“How often did you watch this show?” Haru raised an eyebrow at him. 

“They watched it religiously.” Sighing, Makoto leaned back. “Sometimes I wake up and the theme song will be stuck in my head… We can watch something else, if you’d like.”’

“No, this is fine.” Haru shook his head. He didn’t really care for TV anyways. He only took it from home because his parents told him to. “It reminds you of your siblings, doesn’t it?” With a warm smile, Makoto reached over to grab his hand. 

“Yeah. It does.”

Somehow they ended up watching it for quite a while. Maybe it was the snarky nature of the cat-boy or the fun-loving nature of the girl-duck that kept them intrigued with their opposite personalities. Maybe it was the fact that they were friends with an emotional boy-shark that had to be Rin’s spirit animal, it just had to be dammit. There was even an episode dedicated to him aspiring to swim in the Olympics for gods sake. But maybe it was just because it was nice to sit there and just… be. 

No expectations, no crash from reality, not even a fear or a doubt to ruin the time. Further and further away, the idea that their friendship would be tainted was becoming dust in the wind. 

Rin did end up calling some time later, offering his apologies just as Nagisa had done. Haru was quick to shutting him up, deciding to explain all that happened once the red-head left. He felt as if he owed Rin at least that much. A couple of heartfelt back-and-forths then transpired after he finished, Rin even calling Makoto an asshat for making things so complicated once Haru put him on speakerphone. 

By the time Rin gave them a final ‘I’m happy for you idiots’ and hung up, Haru was pretty much dead on his feet. With Makoto’s suggestion of sleep, they both took equal part in turning things off, heading towards Haru’s bedroom. 

“What do you want to wear to bed?” Haru asked him, bending to dig in his bottom drawer.

“I don’t think you have anything that will fit me…” Makoto chuckled. “I’ll just sleep in this.”

“Nonsense.” Haru leaned to the side so Makoto could see the drawer better. He had several of Makoto’s shirts, plus a couple of bottoms that would easily fit him. “What do you want?”

“Why do you have so many of my clothes?” Makoto laughed, his amusement reaching all the way to his eyes. 

“I… like to sleep in them.” Embarrassed from actually admitting it, Haru looked off to the side. To be fair, Makoto left a couple of them here himself. The orange and white shirt? Yeah okay he stole that a little bit ago. It was his favorite and he couldn’t resist. Haru flung some clothes in Makoto’s general direction, standing up with an overbearing cover of red on his face. 

“God, Haru that is…” Makoto hid his mouth with his hand, catching the clothes in the other. “Freaking adorable.” With a gentle tug Makoto pulled him over by the arm, kissing him on the temple. 

“I just… they’re nice and airy okay!” 

“Hmm.” Makoto smiled into his forehead. 

“G-Get changed!” Embarrassed beyond belief, Haru gave him a light shove and walked over to the bed and fussed with the sheets. He cleared his throat before speaking again. “How did you want to sleep? We could lay on the floor or go back to the living room.”

“The bed should be fine.” Makoto was already in his change of pants and yanking off his old shirt.

“But we don’t fit on it very well…” Haru lamely flopped the blankets up to catch some air in it before they glided down slowly. 

“I think we will this time.” 

“I don’t see how…” Fully changed now, Makoto walked over and bent around Haru, adjusting the sheets and pillows carefully before holding the comforter up. 

“Just trust me. Go ahead and crawl in.” Looking at Makoto doubtfully, Haru sighed and did as his best friend asked, making sure to scooch all the way towards the wall. Before Makoto joined him, he went back to turn off the lights. 

Immersed suddenly in darkness, Haru could only feel Makoto return to him, taking note of the shuffle of the blankets and indent of the bed.   
“This is just like before.” Haru pouted, looking at his shadow. “You’re going to fall off in the night, Makot-Oh!”

Alarmed as hands suddenly snaked around his waist, Haru physically jumped as Makoto attempted to pull him close, curling him against his side and laying him in the crook of Makoto’s elbow. He could feel the beat of Makoto’s heartbeat under his palm, his breath tickling the top of his head.   
Oh. 

Like this, there was definitely room for the two of them.

“Did I surprise you again?” Makoto snickered, squeezing his waist into a more comfortable hold. Haru pressed his nose into Makoto’s chest.

“Shut up.” 

“I think like this we will be okay.” Was it just him, or did Makoto almost sound _proud_ of himself? Well, whatever. Despite the initial shock factor, Haru found the position growing increasingly comfortable, curling his legs in so one of them slid in between Makoto’s. 

“Hey… Makoto?” He asked shyly. 

“Yes?” 

“Can I… kiss you?” There was a pause.

“Haru, you don’t have to ask. Kiss me all you like.” Taken aback from his words, Haru took a moment before he moved, crawling up the rest of Makoto’s torso before he was sure that their heads were level. Though dark, he could still see the intensity of the green. 

Haru gave nothing more than a light nudge with his lips, a kiss so G that even a little kid could do it, but to him it meant so much. He had something that he never thought he would have. A chance to be with Makoto. A soft kiss, a rough kiss, either of them would have meant the same. All he wanted to do was convey a simple message. 

“Makoto, I love you.” 

“I love you too, Haru.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God these losers are going to be the death of me...   
> I had so many feels while writing this, I could barely contain myself!   
> Can you die from feels? Has anybody done research on this? I need to _know_
> 
> Well, anyway, I hope that I have succeeded in making all the other 10 painful chapters worthwhile. It was definitely satisfying to me as a writer to reach this point. I just hope it was the same for my readers. 
> 
> WHO, by, the way, ARE AMAZING LOVELY CHILDREN THAT I DONT DESSERVE   
> all the comments and kudos I received from last chapter didn't just make my DAY they made my WEEK!   
> Seriously, I don't know what I would do without you guys! So thank you thank you thank you! You keep me going <3 
> 
> Well, until next chapter!   
> Keep rocking it guys!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of you have probably already been thinking it, that Makoto really needs his own chapter. Well here it is, another chapter all in Mako-chan's point of view. 
> 
> "We move forward in our own radiance."   
> -Haruka and Makoto in their duet "Always Here"

_“Makoto, I need you to do something for me.” Sitting at his kitchen’s table with research texts stacked up in front of him, Makoto was surprised with the sudden seriousness of Rin’s request._

_“Rin? What is it?” It wasn’t like Rin to be mysterious- He was upfront and brash, jumping into situations with straightforward honesty._

_“I need you to be completely silent for the next couple of minutes.” If he wasn’t concerned before, he was now._

_“Silent? What for?” It was at this time that Nagisa’s voice came into the picture, his tone lacking its usual carefreeness and instead reverberating in urgency._

_“Mako-chan it’s really important.”_

_“Nagisa?” Makoto rubbed at his neck. “Guys, I don’t understand.”_

_“Look, Makoto.” Rin paused, as if thinking about his words carefully. “Has Haru been… acting strange lately?”_

_“Haru?” Makoto sat up straighter. “No… Not that I have noticed. Why, Rin is something wrong?” worry leaked into his voice, his mind already jumping to the negative. Was Haru hurt? Injured? Off bleeding in a ditch somewhere?_

_“Haru’s… upset.” Rin answered vaguely. “And it’s all his own fault because he won’t freaking tell you anything!”_

_“Tell me what?” Unable to sit still, Makoto stood up from his chair and began pacing the living room. “What’s going on, Rin? Is Haru okay?”_

_“This is why you need to stay quiet, Mako-chan. You’ll find out soon enough.” That wasn’t enough. He wanted to know now! He had to know, if it was concerning Haru. His blood was flowing like lead in his veins and he could feel it weighing him down._

_“Nagisa-“_

_“Shush, Makoto.” Rin interrupted. “Nagisa, you and Rei know what you’re supposed to do, right?”_

_“Yeah. Are you really sure about this, Rin-chan?”_

_“I can’t leave this alone anymore. It’s too much to watch. Call him as soon as you can. And Makoto?” The world hung on Rin’s words. “Take good care of him. Haru needs you.” And just like that, Rin hung up._

_“Nagisa.” Makoto asked sternly, staring hard at his curtains as if that would suffice for staring right at the blonde’s eyes. “Please. What are you guys talking about?”_

_“Haru-chan has been keeping a secret from all of us.” The urgent tone from before was gone and instead was replaced with an emotional shake. “Rin-chan just told me and Rei-chan a minute ago. Trust me, you want to know. But not from us. Let Haru-chan tell you.”_

_“A secret?” Makoto didn’t understand. He knew everything about Haru. He made it his business to know. So how could he have missed something clearly important?_

_“We’re going to Skype with Haru-chan, okay? And you have to be quiet, or else it will all be ruined and Haru-chan won’t say anything. Just listen through the phone.”_

_“O-okay.” Makoto’s voice came out small, sitting down on the couch. It felt like his legs couldn’t hold his weight. “I’ll be quiet, then.”_

_Why was Haru upset?_

_Why did everybody but himself know?_

_Why was it so hard for Haru to tell him?_

_Makoto wanted to know these things. That was why he stayed silent as Nagisa began to skype call Haru._

_“Take care of him guys. I hate to run but I really can’t miss this. Cheer him up, get some mackerel in him, and try to talk him out of anything stupid.” Rin was talking to him. Makoto knew it. He could tell it from his tone. His stomach joined the weights holding him to the couch. His mind began racing back to previous days._

_Rin has asked him if he had noticed anything strange. He wanted to find evidence of that behavior, to at least have some inclination of understanding what everyone around him was purposely withholding, but Makoto could find none. This realization made him feel awful, as if he had somehow failed Haru._

_As his best friend, he should have noticed something. It didn’t matter if he knew exactly what, he should have at least realized that something with Haru was not okay.  
But he didn’t. He had no freaking idea. Makoto buried his face in his hands. _

_He had always made it his priority to make sure Haru was okay. Now all he could feel was failure. It was Nagisa’s wavering voice that broke Makoto from his self-deprecation.  
“Haru-chan, Rin-chan said that… you fell in love with Mako-chan. Is that… true?” Makoto could barely breathe from the way his shirt clung to his body in sudden sweat, his ears drumming with the pounding of his heart as the blood rushed from the truck that just hit him with no warning._

_Haru… what? He must have misheard. Something had been lost in the air between all the wires the conversation was flowing through. That had to be it because… well because he had already deemed it impossible._

_“Yeah… I love him. I love him a lot.” Oh god he was dying. Or perhaps he was already dead, sent to heaven and allowed to hear the words that he had only dreamed about for years. Haru’s soft voice, Haru’s beautiful lips… they had slayed him with the sweetest of words. Makoto had to cover his mouth from the intensity of it, his breathing coming out in rough gasps._

_“Haruka-sempai, do you… really mean that?”_

_“I’ve never been so sure about something in my life.”_

_Haru left a disaster in his wake, Makoto feeling as if he had been bombed with explosives until nothing was left but his heart, still beating but faint in the chaos of it all. All he knew, all he thought, gone. Like echos of a quake his words resounded across Makoto’s skin and ended with his lips, silently repeating what Haru had said as if testing its possibility._

_“See Mako-chan? I told you.” Makoto’s face was wet, though he had no memory of when he had begun crying. His voice replied in but a small whisper._

_“Haru…” An unimaginably horrifying sob ripped through the air and tore at Makoto’s still too visible heart, digging its claws in even deeper as he realized it was Haru who had made the noise. The noise was inhuman and raw, the distress and agony so apparent that Makoto was on his feet in an instant, fumbling to pull on his shoes._

_“Nagisa what did you do!?” Makoto now understood why he had not noticed anything. He had never been meant to. Whatever his reasons, Haru had never planned to utter those three words to him. The room was spinning as Makoto threw open his door._

_“I didn’t ask for anybody’s help! I- I just-“ he was terrified. Makoto could feel it just from his voice. Haru, who now was crying with no filter, was breaking himself apart._

_“H-Haru I’m coming over.” Makoto interrupted, his voice cracking as he tried to control his own emotions while simultaneously running down the steps. “We need to talk-“_

_“N-No!” Haru’s shout tore him in two. “I don’t want to talk about anything!”_

_“Haru-“ There was a sudden loud slam and Nagisa’s voice grew louder as if pressing the phone to his ear._

_Haru hung up on him._

_Haru didn’t want to talk to him._

_Haru, who had been by his side always, was running away._

_“Mako-chan, Haru-chan hung up!” Nagisa cried._

_“I’m calling him!” Aggressively ending the call Makoto didn’t even bother looking through his contacts, punching in Haru’s number with trembling fingers. It only rang once before the call abruptly ended._

_“Haru…” he cried to the air, dialing it again._

_Ignored. Makoto didn’t even hesitate. He would keep trying until his fingers fell off if he had to._

_Ignored._

_“Haru-chan please…!”_

_Ignored._

_“Don’t shut me out.” Suddenly the call went through. Relief flooded his vision. “Haru-“_

_“Makoto, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” Stop it._

_“Haru-“_

_“Its best for either of us.” Haru, you know nothing._

_“It’s not-“_

_“You have Hiromi, you don’t need me anymo-“_

_“HARUKA PLEASE!” Makoto couldn’t help but lose control then, his body shaking with a sob. He couldn’t listen to Haru talk like this anymore, not when he had it all wrong. “Don’t… Don’t say anymore!” Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Makoto tried to calm his voice._

_“Haru, listen to me.” He spoke louder as he entered the train station, the people in the background making it difficult to be heard. “I’m… I’m getting on the train now. Please just… wait for me.” Before he could listen to any more words of resistance, Makoto hung up._

_Seconds later he was bent into a crouch, crying into his hands as Haru’s words circled in his mind. Haru, who he loved more than life itself, who was the only one who made his world meaningful, who was at home crying and so sure that Makoto would hate him for revealing his feelings knew nothing._

_“Saying such stupid things…!” Makoto cried to the ground, holding his knees. “Haru you idiot! I love you too, you know!”_

_And he would prove it. When he got to Haru, he would hold him and never let him go._

_It didn’t matter if this was a dream or a nightmare. Makoto was ready to dive headfirst into the abyss. When it came to Haru, he was never afraid to enter the water._

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Makoto let out a breathy sigh, leaning against the brick wall of a bridge that overlooked a small pond below, ducks swimming in placid happiness, the fish doing their best to hide in the seaweed. 

It was still hard to believe, even now, that just yesterday his entire world changed. Not even 24 hours has passed since he had kissed Haru’s lips for the first time. 

There had been countless tears to wipe away from pale cheeks, many needed touches, and several smiles of reassurance that had filled the night, stemming into even this morning when Makoto woke with Haru still curled in his arms. Even if the stars had left and the moon was invisible, his world still seemed to have transcended reality. 

Makoto reached over to pinch himself for the millionth time. Nope, still awake he guessed. 

He was okay with that. It meant Haru still loved him. 

All that was left was to make himself available. That was the hard part. 

Texting Hiromi when he woke up had been nerve-wracking, even with Haru by his side. Haru, of course, was as wonderful as ever, supporting him with a soft touch of his fingers and an offer of a warm breakfast. It made telling her they needed to talk much easier when he knew the life he wanted to live was just around the corner. 

That didn’t stop his stomach, however, from feeling like a giant rock. 

Even he knew he had been a major dick. He had used Hiromi to try and get over Haru, which quickly had become a fruitless effort. No matter how many times Haru told him otherwise, Makoto knew he had done them wrong. He and Hiromi both. This was his attempt to fix things, even after having broken the glass into jagged shards. 

“Hey, Mako-kun.” Makoto blinked as he pulled himself out of his thoughts, glancing over to where Hiromi now stood. 

“Hey, Hiromi-chan.” He offered a smile, the force of it tensing up his cheeks. Walking over to him, she took her place at his side while dropping a duffle bag to the ground. “How was practice?” 

“The same as always. Couch yelling that we will never be fast enough, Mia-Chan fell and sprained her wrist yet again. Same old, same old.” 

“You look like you worked up a sweat. Want me to go get you some water?” Makoto offered. Hiromi shook her head. 

“No, I’m fine thanks. You said you wanted to talk to me about something?” At his side he watched Hiromi tighten her fists, grabbing at the brick with her nails. Guilt gnawed at his stomach.

“Yeah.” Makoto bit his lip fighting for the right words to speak. “Hiromi-chan-“

“You want to break up with me, don’t you?” Before Makoto could work up the courage to express this desire Hiromi beat him to it, saying it as easy as asking for the time. Completely taking off guard, Makoto stuttered out his response. 

“How did you-“

“Know?” she finished for him. Hiromi gave a trembling smile, her eyes turning wet. “Just a feeling I had.” He watched her take a deep breath, feeling as if she was taking the breath right out of him. Makoto looked back at the pond. 

“Does this have to do with yesterday?” A bit startled by the mention, she looked over at him with wide eyes. 

“What do you mean?” Her look was searching, trying to find some kind of answer for the questions raging in her mind. Makoto had always thought that her and Haru’s eyes were similar, and in this moment they did seem to reflect the same light and shine with the same glimmer, but they were different and ultimately he knew this. He had spent the past three months trying to persuade himself that they were the same, that he could learn to love them too, but in the end he had figured out the truth. No other eyes could make his heart swell like the cool, yet innocent glance that Haru lavished him with. 

He wouldn’t lie to them; Hiromi disserved the truth with nothing held back. Of forcing her on this train, by saying yes when he already knew his own feelings, she at least disserved to have honesty. 

With this in mind Makoto was able to face them straight on. 

“I went over to Haru’s last night.” 

“He told you?” Hiromi looked almost afraid, backing up a step as her voiced cracked in pitch. 

“Not by his own choice.” Makoto said sternly, his body subconsciously moving into a defensive position. “Haru isn’t the type to do that. He would have taken what you said to him to the grave. He is that sort of a person. I made him tell me. Hiromi-chan, you’ve always been kind. But what you did to Haru… I can’t forgive that.” 

“Well what else was I supposed to do!?” Dramatically she threw her hands up, tears starting to tremble down her cheeks. “Knowing what I know… He’s in love with you! You realize this, right?”

Makoto swallowed, unable to stop the small flutter that began to take flight in his stomach. Of course he knew. He hadn’t been unable to stop thinking about it since the words came muffled through the computer, nor when the words were thrown at him with despairing cries. 

Haru’s voice still rung in every silence, filling it up again and again with those three simple words. Soft and quiet, yet so powerful and sure. _I love you Makoto_. Makoto was sure he would never be able to unhear it again. He didn’t want to. 

“Yes. I know.” Makoto looked at her with a solid expression, not a single form of hesitation harbored across his face. “He was crying when he told me.” 

“What was I supposed to do..?” Hiromi repeated again, this time much more quiet and withdrawn. “I always... I always thought you guys were oddly close, but I didn’t really think much of it because you two were childhood friends. But… but then I figured out how he felt and suddenly I got scared! How could I compete with someone you’ve known your entire life? The more I thought on it, the more I felt like I was losing you.” She wiped at her eyes furiously. 

“Anyone would, you know. It’s not just Haruka-kun, Mako-kun looks at him with such a caring gaze! We’ve been having such a good time, and I didn’t want things to end! So I panicked and did the best I could.” 

“So you asked him to stay away?” Makoto couldn’t help but raise his voice in temper, his eyes a shuddering forest. 

“I thought it would be best for all of us.”

“Best for all of us?” Makoto shook his head. “No, best for you and me. Haru would have still suffered!” 

“I just wanted to keep us together! Was that wrong!?” Makoto, feeling a heat rise in his chest, took a second to look away and calm himself. 

Of course it was wrong. Why else would his blood boil this much? To selfishly allow Haru to hurt for his own sake was not something he could do. The fact that Hiromi could not see this was enough to tell him the reality of the situation. 

“If… you believed in our relationship, Hiromi-chan. Do you really think you would have worried so much about me leaving you?” 

“I…” Rolling her eyes to try and flush away the tears glittering there, her face contorting as she tried to push herself to smile. “Mako-kun I love you.” 

Like daggers, her words stuck right in the chest as her expression brought the final blow, and Makoto could feel his hands tremble at his sides. It was all his fault, the pain on her face, the tears in Haru’s eyes. He had caused this situation with his own selfishness. He had hurt the one he loved, and troubled an innocent girl who had had nothing to do with his unrequited feelings.   
Rin was right. He really was an asshat.

“I know.” Makoto closed his stinging eyes, ignoring them as best as he could. What right did he have to cry? 

He had to stop lying to Hiromi, to Haru, to himself. 

The truth was painful, but it was the right route to go. 

Only he had to ability to end this. 

“Hiromi-chan… I’m sorry. I can’t say it back. I can’t give you my love. I have none left to offer.” When he opened his eyes again he was greeted with a sad smile. 

“So you’re choosing him, then. You’ll return his feelings.” Hiromi didn’t say it as a question but a finishing statement.

“It’s not about choosing.” Makoto said quietly. “Haru has always been that person at my side. I don’t know what life would be without him. I don’t want to know. I love him, Hiromi-chan. I can’t even remember a time in which I hadn’t. “ 

Hiromi didn’t look startled at all by his words. She had probably learned the truth easily enough on her own. Wiping at her eyes with her fingers, she watched as a bird skidded along the water’s surface before taking to the air.

“The person you told me about. The one you said was the reason you couldn’t say you loved me because you weren’t over them yet. It was Haru, wasn’t it?” 

Makoto’s mind flashed back to when he and Hiromi fought, how he had left the warmness of Haru’s arms to try and fix things, and how he had given Hiromi an inkling of the truth that plagued his. 

He hadn’t been able to forsake his previous love for her. 

“Yeah.”

“For how long?” 

“Five years.” 

“How cold.” She gave a weak laugh. “You never should have said yes to me, Mako-kun. Not when you knew nobody else ever had a chance.” 

“I did try, Hiromi-chan.” Makoto knew he had to emphasize this, he really did, because he didn’t want Hiromi to feel like he was a waste of her time. Just like when she said I love you, he wanted to say it back wholeheartedly. But how can you give someone something you’ve already given away? 

The task had always been impossible. Makoto knew this now. It was his naivety that had made him try. But that didn’t mean he cared for her any less.

“You’re sweet, Mako-kun, and very gentle. I know that you wouldn’t intentionally do something cruel. But that doesn’t make this hurt any less.”

“I’m sorry.” Unsure of what to do, Makoto inclined his head slightly in a bow. 

“Apologizing doesn’t really help, you know?” Hiromi pushed the last of her tears off her face and took a shaking breath. “At least one thing came out of this.” She sounded miserable, though a hint of a smile did appear on her face. 

“What?”

“I can tell all my friends you’re gay.” Makoto couldn’t help but smile at this as well, allowing a small chuckle to escape. 

He hoped that one day Hiromi could forgive him for his actions. If it was possible, he wanted to be able to still consider her a friend. The smiles, the laughs. None of that had ever been fake. Those late nights working on projects and trips to the park and café breaks would always stay in his mind in a fond memory. As Haru had asked him, he would never look at his relationship with Hiromi as a mistake. After all, it lead him to this moment in his life. 

“I guess that’s it then.” Hiromi leaned down to pick up her bag. “I’ll see you around, Mako-kun. I… hope you two find happiness.” 

“Goodbye, Hiromi-chan. Find somebody that will treat you better than I did.” She nodded at him, twirling on her feet to walk a couple of paces away. 

“Oh, and Mako-kun?” she stopped to look back once more. “Tell Haruka-kun I’m sorry.” Admits the drying tears and puffy eyes, the sincerity was there in all truthfulness. 

“Yeah. I’ll let him know.” With a final wave he bid her goodbye, watching her weave through groups of people and across traffic before she turned out of sight. 

Turning on his heels to the other direction, Makoto began walking down the slope as he dug into his bag for his phone. 

“Makoto?” Haru’s voice was like the first ray of sun in the morning, and after being soaked from the storm, Makoto felt his jaw clench in stiff emotion. He wanted to see him. He wanted to see Haru really bad.

“Haru, I talked to Hiromi-chan. We’re… no longer together.” The other line was silent, and if Makoto was somebody else he would have assumed that Haru hung up, but because he was himself he could still feel Haru’s presence through the device, still sense his quiet tone. 

“Are you okay?” There is always two sides to every coin. While Makoto prided in his ability to understand Haru better than anybody else, he sometimes forgot that Haru could read him just as well.   
“I’m fine.” Makoto sniffed, his eyes stinging like before. “This was my choice, remember? I made this decision.” 

And it wasn’t something he could regret, even now with Hiromi’s distraught face fresh in his mind and the tears in his eyes threatening to break. He wanted this- he wanted to be with Haru so bad that the distance right now was _killing_ him. But that didn’t mean the path to get here didn’t hurt. 

It was a long five years. Five years of hoping, of wishing that maybe fate would change its mind and grant him this one thing. Five years of smiling beside Haru and keeping it in because he cherished his presence more than anything, and to see him go would be a life he could not survive. Five years and a single confession, one that never received anything in response but a confused stare and stutters of his own voice apologizing. 

It had been five years of lonely nights. Five years of keeping it together and not letting him know. Five years of desire. Five years of longing. Five years of shooting stars.   
And in a single night, it all ended. 

“Then why are you crying?” Makoto reached up to flick some tears away with his finger but stopped as the voice didn’t sound loudest from the phone he held but with him instead, a figuring coming into view. 

“Haru?” Makoto attempted to blink the blurs away, the phone still on call with Haru as his best friend came to light. “Why are you here?”

“I left practice early and took a train here.” Haru said quietly, shuffling on his feet as if unsure if that was something he should have done. 

“But why-?”

“I thought it might be like this.” Haru reached up to push some of Makoto’s struggling tears away before they could fall. “You, who is always so kind to others… You never put yourself first.” At Haru’s touch, Makoto felt his lip tremble. 

Was he allowed to cry?

Even though it was all his fault and only had himself to blame? 

Could such a selfish desire be okay?

“Stupid Makoto.” Haru’s voice was soft and soothing, his hand reaching up to ruffle Makoto’s hair next. “You’ll cause wrinkles if you keep it all inside.” 

With a hiccup Makoto reached forward and pulled Haru into his arms, pressing his smaller frame tight again his own as he buried his face into Haru’s shoulder. 

“Haru-chan!” He cried, his body shaking them both. “Haru-chan!” At the call of his name Haru held him tightly. “I’m so sorry! To you and Hiromi-chan! I made both of you cry so much I’m sorry!”

“It’s you who’s crying.” Haru whispered. 

“I told her the truth and said I would never be able to return her feelings.” Makoto continued to blubber, some of his words fading in and out of coherentness from the growing clog in his throat. “She somehow knew it, could feel it, and yet kept trying to hold onto our relationship and I feel so awful, wasting her time and leading her own when I knew how I felt about you! I should have known that this wouldn’t have worked out… But… But I just did it anyway!” 

Trying to compose himself, Makoto took a deep breath. 

“I was so selfish, trying to have everything. I don’t want everything anymore, I just want you. Can… Can I have that? Is it terrible of me to ask?” 

“Would that make Makoto happy?” 

“More than anything." To always be by his side, Makoto would have desired nothing more. 

“T-then you can have all of me whenever you want.” Makoto let out a sob but for an entirely different reason than he had before. 

“I don’t know why I’m crying so much, I’m so happy… Haru-chan loves me… Haru-chan wants to be with me… I don’t know what to do I’m so happy!” Makoto hiccuped into Haru’s shoulder. “You love me…” 

Haru grabbed him by the sides of his face and made it so their eyes met. 

“Yeah.” Makoto’s lips curled into a trembling smile as Haru gently kissed him, his heart thundering and yet cooling all at once. 

Immersed in the wonderful water that was Haruka, Makoto could be nothing but swimming in eternal bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One relationship ends, and another one beings.   
> Well, i hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! It was hard for me to write, to be honest, since it was ALL Makoto's perspective, but it was necessary to have Makoto handle the breakup himself. 
> 
> With that, what i like to call the 'Hiromi Arc' is finished. Now onto the next one!   
> What, you thought that would be it? HAH!  
> This fic will have three arcs to it in total, so we're only a 1/3 way through.   
> I still have a lot planned.  
> I wont be satisfied until i've rot your teeth to the core with fluff.   
> There will be some more angst, of course, and some shenanigans (Nagisa provided of course), but the main focus will still be to stitching you all back together. 
> 
> That being said, I feel the need to remind all of you that this fic is rated M for a reason, and it will reflect that rating soon enough.   
> If such things are uncomfortable to you, I'd recommend either this or next chapter being your stopping point. I know it prompts in the beginning about it, but since its already been 11 chapters and this fics been about as dry as you can get, I felt the need to remind you that there will soon be a splash zone so bring your raincoats. 
> 
> That was really dirty of me to say, wasn't it...?   
> Ah, well, anyways-
> 
> Until next time guys~


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *crawls out of the abyss that consists of homework, exams, and life responsibilities*   
> Well, I'm not dead, in case any of you were wondering.  
> not physically at least.   
> College hit me super hard the past two weeks and most of my days have consisted of class, homework, studying, and sleep. So fun right!? hahahahahaaaaa.... In order to deal with all that, I had to put the fic on the backburner. 
> 
> BUT LOOK I FINALLY DID THE THING   
> and holy shit it's 19 freaking pages. The longest chapter yet! I'm hopeful that that makes up for such a long delay at least a little bit. The content will definitely make up for the other part ;) 
> 
> So, without further delay, i present to you all the Halloween chapter, as per request for one of my friends! Hope you all enjoy it!!!

The water was alive. Haru knew that better than anybody. He could feel the liquid’s pulse, sense the vibrations of its breath the moment he submerged himself into it. Like an old friend it always greeted him with a comforting compression, wrapping around Haru with tender fangs in what could be considered nothing but embrace. Even the coldest of waters always had the heat of a burning soul. 

You couldn’t fight the water. Many a time Haru had given that advice to those asking for it, but they never seemed to understand what he really meant. After all, water was fickle. It could be loving, all caress and gentle touch. But it could also be vicious, passionate, destructive. In all the ways that it could kiss, water could also bite. 

To truly be accepted by the water, one had to in turn do the same. There could be no doubt when entering the pool. If you didn’t trust the water, how could it possibly trust you? You, who has by your own will penetrated without thought and reason, as if you could own something that desires nothing but to be free.

Haru understood all this. He knew how the water felt, could relate to it on the innermost part of his being. How others pushed and frayed your very framework to shape you into their ideals. That was why he was the best in the water. 

As he loved water, he could feel that somehow the water loved him in return. Each stroke with his wrist was met with no resistance but a playful hand, grasping at his fingers in joy. They tugged and twirled around him like a dance partner, neither pushing nor pulling him through the water but instead alongside him. It would giggle into his ears, tickle at his feet, and even utter words of encouragement. When they synched, Haru felt nothing short of invincible.

Like this, as a team, he felt free. It was when their duo became a group, however, that he truly felt alive.

Smashing his hand hard into the wall, Haru planted his feet to the ground and threw his head to the surface, gasping at the air that he had been neglecting to refill his lungs. 

“Aww man!” Came an out-of-breath whine to his left, other smacks to the wall filling in the air around them. “Every time I think I’m going to win, you shoot ahead.” 

Haru looked over at Hachiro Tono who, despite everything, was grinning at him. Like Haru, he was a first year freshman with a specialty in the breast stroke. Blonde hair stuck out from beneath his water cap in his previous rush to get it on, to which Haru just sighed. They swam together every day. His excitement to race really didn’t have to be so persistent. 

Well, Haru didn’t honestly mind it that _much_. Hachiro was excitable and crazy and a bit too clingy, but he was a good swimmer. He wasn’t like Rin that he created a fire within him, but there was something special he felt when he swam alongside him. There was definitely something interesting behind those wild sea eyes of his, and Haru’s interest was peaked enough for him to want to know what. 

“Oi, Nanase. Someone’s here for you!” At the sound of his coach’s sudden call, Haru shook his head free of clinging droplets and glanced over towards the entrance of the pool. Standing there with a smile focused on staying innocent was Makoto, waving ever so slightly in his direction. Haru felt his face warm slightly. 

Grabbing onto the pools ledge, Haru hoisted himself up and over towards their direction. Many curious glances were pointed towards them, and a couple even took the liberty of following Haru to his destination. 

“Why are you here?” Haru asked Makoto, pulling his goggles and cap off of his head and pushing the wetness of his hair back. “I thought I said I’d meet you at your house later.” Not that he wasn’t grateful to see him, though. He was always grateful in being able to see Makoto. 

“I thought I would come and pick you up!” Makoto smiled warmly in his direction. 

“You didn’t have to.” 

“Hmm, but I wanted to!” 

“Hey, Haru, whose you’re friend?” Interrupted Norihisa Kan -Nori for short- as he walked over with a big grin, wrapping his arm around Haru’s shoulder and shaking him with enthusiasm. Nori was a second year with a build much like Makoto’s, perhaps just a couple centimeters taller than he. His dark chocolate hair matched perfectly with his eyes, hidden behind a pair of thick black glasses. His stroke was the butterfly, the technique used very similar to that of Sousuke’s. Haru whapped his arm away quickly. 

“This is Makoto Tachibana… my…” Haru bit his lip.

“-Best friend.” Makoto finished. “We grew up together.”

“Whatttt you’re Mako-chan!?” Like a bullet, Yuki Satoya rammed into Haru’s side, nearly sending him forward as he grabbed onto his arm. Yuki’s soft brown hair practically bounced with him, his baby green eyes practically as expressive as the rest of his face. Just like his stroke his stature matched Haru’s, both their heads at the same height while they stood beside each other. Like Nori, Yuki was a second year. 

“Um, yes?” Makoto looked a bit confused, his cheeks growing a little pink from embarrassment. 

“Haru, you never said Mako-chan was a guy!” this realization seemed to hit him hard, and he looked at Haru with upset eyes. “You always kept ditching us for someone named ‘Makoto’, so we just assumed it was your girlfriend!” 

“Mako-chan isn’t real!?” whimpering behind them as he wiped his head off with a towel, Hachiro appeared from behind. “Haru, you bully! Here we thought you were some sort of stud.” 

“That’s what you get from making assumptions!” Haru replied hotly. “I never said Makoto was a girl.” 

“Well you never said he wasn’t.” Yes, because he was required to give them that information. Why must they be cursed with such feminine names? It was always such a pain…

“Wait guys, you’re not focusing on the big picture here!” Nori grinned. “He grew up with Haru. He _knows_ things.” Walking forward, he rest a hand on Makoto’s shoulder. “Are the rumors true? Does he really bathe in his swimming suit?” 

“Enough!” Using his own body as a wedge Haru forced himself between the two, his face growing pink. “Don’t ask him stupid questions!” 

“This is for the good of the team, Haru! Don’t you understand? We must _know_.” 

“No you-“

“He does.”

“Don’t answer them!” Haru desperately looked at his coach. “Coach, can I go?” 

“Yeah it’s fine.” He answered, sounding rather amused. “You did your laps for the day.” Haru bowed slightly. 

“Thank you. Come on, Makoto.” Grabbing him by the hem of his shirt, Haru physically started to drag him away before he could start answering another embarrassing question about him again. 

 

 

“There is a reason why I said I’d meet you at your house.” Haru grumbled quietly, pulling his jacket tighter as the autumn air tried to sneak through his clothes. “They get excited over the smallest things.” Makoto just chuckled at this, pressing himself close to Haru’s side. A natural heater if there ever was one.

“I dunno, they seemed fun! I’m glad Haru was able to find a good team.” 

“It’s still not the same.” Haru assured him, thoughts looking back to Iwatobi. Nothing will ever be able to compare to that. 

“It doesn’t have to be the same. As long as it makes you happy, that’s enough, isn’t it?” Makoto reasoned, fingers lightly grazing Haru’s own. A sudden urge filled him and he grabbed on, holding Makoto’s hand tightly. He received a squeeze back in return. Why did he _still_ have to get butterflies from something as simple as hand-holding? “You are happy, aren’t you?”

“…Yeah.” In more ways than one. “They’re good swimmers, at least. They’re only idiots out of water.” Makoto laughed at that, his chuckle eventually fading into comfortable silence. More than once Haru looked down at their conjoined hands, then back at Makoto, who was smiling so sweetly. A bit of guilt started to well up in his gut.

“Is something wrong, Haru?” Of course, Makoto was quick to notice. Haru bit his lip. 

“I’m… sorry for not being able to introduce you properly. You had to introduce yourself in the end…”

“Oh it’s just that?” Makoto gave him a gentle look. “Hmm… I don’t really mind. I mean, we may be doing stuff like this now-“ he squeezed Haru's hand for emphasis. “But you’re still my best friend. It’s not like we lied, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Besides, I don’t need the whole world to know about us. As long as I have you with me, I’m content.” Haru smiled at the pavement. 

“Me too.” Well, maybe that was a lie. He wanted to be able to show the world that he was in love with the most precious person to ever exist. But Makoto was right. There was no need to rush into anything. They would share when the time was best for them both. Right now, a world of just the two of them was enough. 

 

“I really do appreciate this Haru,” Makoto thanked for probably the millionth time as he continued to stretch newspaper across the carpet of his living room. Haru followed alongside him, plopping bright orange pumpkins on the black and white material. “and so does everyone else.”

“I already told you it’s nothing. I don’t mind helping.”

“So I can take back the mackerel then?” 

“No.” Haru jutted stubbornly. He thought back to the lovely stack of cans sitting in his apartment with a bright red bow and had to swallow to control himself. “They’re non-refundable.” 

“Oh are they?” placing the last of the paper down, Makoto turned around to face him, grabbing the final large pumpkin from Haru’s grasp. “Looks like you lucked out then.” He placed the pumpkin on the floor. 

To understand why they were filling Makoto’s apartment with pumpkins, one had to simply look back to a few days prior where Makoto and a group of his friends were running around like decapitated chickens. It was October and thus time for their University’s annual fall festival, which was known for its beautiful autumn campus and creative activities. Through one of his classes, Makoto was required to participate. They thought of an activity simple enough, but just two days ago they had realized something very crucial: they all had the artistic ability of a rock. As in none at all. This was where Haru came in. 

In a previous study session with Makoto, where the brunette had been desperately trying to get him to once again take English seriously, he had begun doodling on the cover of one of Makoto’s folders. It had been simple, just a sketch of a dog he thought resembled Makoto. Evidently his friends had noticed it, and after jibing Makoto for the artist (because let’s face it, Makoto could draw about as his siblings could), Haru’s name was uttered and they all began to beg Makoto for his assistance. Needless to say, Makoto was at his door that very night holding 12 cans of mackerel topped with a bow supporting a smile he just couldn’t refuse. 

“So, you guys want 12 pumpkins, all with different faces?” Haru looked at the sheet, to which they had all compiled. “This includes scary, gory, goofy and… cute?” he looked away to glance at Makoto. “It’s Halloween. It’s not supposed to be _cute_.” 

“It’s always good to have variety, don’t you agree?” Makoto laid the pumpkin-carving tools out in front of them. “We don’t want to scare away the little kids.” Haru set the paper aside.

“Got it. I’ll draw Iwatobi-chan then.” 

“Please don’t. That will _definitely_ scare them away.” Haru puffed his cheeks out in exasperation. Why did nobody see how beautiful Iwatobi-chan was? Their sense of beauty was skewered. The bird was nothing but precious.

“Fine.” Haru grabbed one of the jagged cutting tools and stabbed it into the topside of the pumpkin. “But it won’t be as good.” 

“Hai hai.” Makoto just smiled, cutting into the pumpkin he grabbed as well. 

 

 

Six pumpkins later, Haru stared at his seventh pumpkin with a sigh, stabbing into the top of it much like a serial killer already deep in their line of killings. Precise from lots of practice. As much fun as this was, Haru found that there truly was a limit to how much one could take the color orange in one go. Apparently it was seven. 

Cutting around the top, Haru pulled it off and stared into the pumpkin to look at its mushy insides. Ever since he was a child, he had always been a bit weirded out by how cold and slimy the stuff inside truly was. Why was it stringy? Did it _have_ to always be so cold? And that one person… how the hell did they decide they could make pie out of this?

With a blank look, Haru poked at it. It was then that a rather interesting idea occurred to him. How far could this stuff fly? 

“Hey, Makoto. Catch.” With sudden swiftness Haru scooped up the cold orange goop into his hand and proceeded to aim it directly at him, a smirk widening across his face. 

“Gwah!” with a cry, Makoto pathetically raised a hand in defense, only for it to skid over the top of his fingers and land right in his hair. A couple of seeds dropped to the ground. “Uck it’s so gross!” grabbing as much off from himself as he could, Makoto was quick to return the favor and threw it right back at him. “Ha!” 

Splattered across the neck, Haru looked over at Makoto with a growing glint in his eyes. The same message grew in both their minds: battle starts in 3…2…1…!

Like two dweebs in perfect harmony, the two of them dove into their pumpkins and threw, pumpkin slop flying everywhere as they both tried to slather the other, neither moving out of the way in hopes of better aim. Makoto got hit in the shoulder, Haru’s left arm was covered. Without even thinking they were pulling out more and Haru was on his feet, jumping from Makoto’s toss and managing to splatter all over Makoto’s legs. 

“I won’t lose!” Makoto shouted, actually picking up his entire pumpkin and jumping to his feet. “I’ll make you regret starting this!” They both were grinning like idiots.

“Oh really? Come at me then!” Haru dove into his pumpkin, pulled out more sludge while sacrificing the cleanliness of his socks, before leaping over the half-finished pumpkins and into the entryway in some sort of crouch. “If you have the courage, that is.” Makoto’s green eyes narrowed, a flickering flame eating at the forest. His gut told him to run, and run he did. 

With a leap, Haru hid behind the couch just as more came flying at him, throwing his own ammo and hitting Makoto’s upper chest. He thudded rather hard against the ground but ignored it, rolling into a squat with a slight loss of breath.

“There’s nowhere for you to run, Haru! Come back and take it like a man!” Makoto challenged overhead, and Haru could sense that he was on the move. 

Though successful with his throw, Haru came to the bitter realization that he was defenseless. He had to get to his pumpkin, and fast, if he wanted to beat Makoto. Luckily, speed was on his side. Though Makoto had a stronger throw, Haru was nimble. He could do this- he could win! 

“Ah!” Haru gave an alarmed cry as he felt cold goop smack into and then dribble down his hair, and looked over to see Makoto standing behind him. He shivered as some of it slithered down the back of his shirt. Well, at least he had ammo now. Grabbing as much as he could, Haru jumped back to his feet and tossed, only to miss Makoto by inches as the brunette jumped for cover. “Tch.”  
The two of them now out of stuff to throw, there was only one place to go: back to their stations. Their eyes met at this realization, and they both stopped only for a moment before bolting in desperate attempt to get back first and have the home-base advantage. Makoto attempted to swivel around the side. Haru just thought _fuck it_ and launched right over the top of the couch, rolling, and landing by Makoto’s previous pumpkin. 

With that decision shortening his time, Haru was able to nail Makoto right at the hips as he joined him on the floor. Haru’s arm was sacrificed as he dug for more. There was probably enough left for two more handfuls and so Haru grabbed them both, aiming one rather pathetically at Makoto’s foot before jumping back onto the couch and balancing on the cushion. This was it, the final stage.

“It all ends here, Makoto. Surrender now if-“ Haru wasn’t able to finish however, his mouth suddenly tasting like pumpkin guts.

“Sorry, did I hit your face?” Makoto grinned, not exactly sounding sorry at all. “Did I ever tell you orange looks amazing on you?” Oh-hoh-hoh…! Now Haru had nothing holding him back. He launched himself directly at Makoto this time, taking advantage of the brunettes surprise to wrap his legs around the giant’s waist and to tug open his shirt, shoving all he could down the front.  
Makoto immediately jumped with a squeak, completely taken aback, and attempted to balance the two of them and deal with the sudden coldness in increasing failure. He fell to the floor with a thump, Haru sitting on his lap. 

“Hah!” Haru smiled triumphantly, gazing at him with glittering blue. “I win.” 

“You so cheated!” Makoto whined, wrapping his arms around Haru’s lower waist. “You attacked me!”

“I told you I’d win. Besides, I gave you a present.” Haru smugly patted Makoto’s chest. “It was a kind gesture. You should be _thanking_ me.” 

“Thanking you?” Makoto shook his head, a sly look emerging on his face. “No, I should be plotting revenge!” 

“Wah- wait no Makoto, Makoto!” Haru could do nothing but flail as the much stronger orca physically pushed him on the ground below and began to tickle him. Under the armpits, alongside his ribs, across his waist, Makoto’s fingers were _everywhere_ , tugging and scratching and feathering his skin as heat stormed across his body and that sensation grew in his throat. 

“Come on Haru, let me hear it!” Makoto was laughing, a devilish look in his eye as he used his thighs to hold Haru’s squirming down. 

“N-No!” Haru protested, his face pink as he tried to force it down. “Never!” and then Makoto touched _the place_ , right along his lower hip. 

Like a tinkling bell, Haru’s laughter filled the room, beautiful and angelic in tone. The strength of it was strong enough to tickle his tummy and trickle along his skin, making his own body feel like it was somehow beaming. Its continuous purity put Makoto in awe, stopping his movements so he could just stare at Haru’s face and enjoy it as much as he could. 

As his laughter began end it faded into a smile, and Makoto leaned forward to kiss the upturned corner of his lips. The press was delicate, and Haru opened his eyes to look at him in curiousness. Makoto looked so happy, like he had been given the world right here in this very tiny apartment. It made Haru’s heart swell brightly, the feeling contagious. Weeks ago he would have never expected that this was possible. Now he was just basking in his wonderful reality. 

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

The day of the festival greeted Tokyo with a brisk autumn breeze, blustering colored leaves past those bundled deeply into their coats. On such a cold day Haru would have liked to do nothing more than to soak in a hot bath and cuddle into some blankets. Thanks to his promise to Makoto, however, he was stuck walking through pile of leaves that had yet to be cleaned up. Well, at least they made a satisfying crunching sound. 

When he reached Makoto’s apartment, he was greeted with pumpkins on either side of the door. On the left was a dolphin, sculpted to be jumping out of the water. The one on the right was Makoto’s. It was supposed to be an Orca. Haru could have sworn it was a very oval pig. Well, everybody had their weaknesses he supposed. Haru knocked at the door. 

“It’s open!” Came Makoto’s voice, and Haru grabbed the handle to let himself in. Makoto greeted him with a warm smile from his place in the kitchen, where he was fiddling with some papers on the counter. 

Already dressed in his costume, Makoto looked absolutely fabulous. He was a navy officer, wearing white pants with a single black stripe and a shirt decorated with fake medals cuffed in a black fabric that was striped gold. Around his waist was a belt, colored black to match the boots snugged to just below his knees. On his head sat a navy hat, tilted a bit to the side on the fluff of his hair. 

“Hey.” Haru said dumbly, closing the door behind him to keep out the cold. “Nice costume.” 

“Thanks.” Seemingly done with what he was doing, he walked over to help Haru take his jacket off. “It was Mei’s idea! She thought we’d look put together if we all came wearing the same costume.” He put a finger to his chin. “Something about being visually appealing I guess?” Visually appealing indeed. He had to remember to somehow thank this ‘Mei’, whoever she was. 

“Oh, um Haru?” Makoto sounded a bit hesitant now, looking Haru up and down. 

“Hmm?” 

“Where’s your costume?” They both knew the answer to this, and just intuition alone was enough to make Makoto bite his cheek. 

“I’m wearing it.” Haru said obviously, his face nothing but serious. To prove himself right, he grabbed the hem of his pants and pulled it down to reveal the swimming suit clinging to his hips.

“Haru please tell me you’re not-“

“I’m a swimmer.”

“Haru no.” 

“It’s a costume, isn’t it?” stubbornly Haru crossed his arms, looking off towards the left. 

“Not for you!” Makoto cried, grabbing Haru by the shoulders. “You wear it every day! Besides, it’s the end of October and we’re going to be outside! You’ll catch a cold!” Haru gave a huff.  
“I don’t have anything else with me.” Makoto just sighed with knowingness. 

“Luckily, I thought something like this would happen.” He reached down to grab one of Haru’s hands, pulling him towards his bedroom. “I took the liberty of buying you a separate costume, just in case.” Haru scrunched his nose in response. Well, he supposed it wasn’t like he tried hard to pick out a costume anyways. He had been wearing them since the morning. 

Reaching into his closet, Makoto fumbled around the back before pulling out something gray and fluffy. 

“Makoto no.” Haru declined immediately as he stared at the costume, his mouth open slightly in pure shock at what he had dared to choose. “I am _not_ wearing that.” 

It was one of _those_ costumes, the type that generally were created for kids to wear something fun for bed. The costume was pretty much footy pajamas, completed with a tail and cat ears on the hood. To make matters worse, there was an actual face of a cat on the hood, too cute that a six-year-old would be embarrassed to wear it. Why was this costume made in his size again? 

Makoto frowned, looking at the costume and then back at Haru. 

“Why not?” 

“It’s a _cat_ costume, Makoto. No, absolutely not. I’m wearing my suit. I’m not going otherwise.”

“And I told you you can’t!” Makoto huffed, shaking his head. “This is much better! Look, it’s like fur. It’ll be insulated and keep you all toasty. Look, it comes with mitten-paws.” He held them up like that would make a difference.

“In what world? Did you inhale too many pumpkin seeds the other day?”

“But you’ll be so cute!”

“I… am a man.” Even so Haru’s cheeks were flaming pink. I don’t want to be cute!” 

“I don’t think you can help that much, I’m afraid.” Makoto chuckled, taking a step towards Haru and laying the hood of the costume on his head, the cat ears drooping to resemble Haru’s facial expression. “See, very cute.”

“I’m not wearing it.” 

“Not even for me?” Makoto titled his chin up, making their eyes meet, and Haru could feel the reins to this rodeo slipping right through his grasp. _Damn him damn him damn him_... 

Makoto’s lips were sweet and pure, pressing with a faint amount of softness that drew Haru in like a moth to a flame, edging himself closer in the desire to feel more, to touch more… A kiss like this appeared to be that of an angels, but Haru knew better. This right here was the devil’s work. 

Makoto had realized how weak he was to kissing mere days after their confessions, and had quickly (and most annoyingly on Haru’s part) learned how to use them best to his advantage. Like a marionette Haru was at the mercy of the strings Makoto pulled. Because hot damn if he was going to ignore a kiss from _Makoto _.__

__“ _Please_?” Makoto cooed as he pulled away, and goddammit Haru waved the white flag up in complete submission. Stupid Makoto. Words like that should be illegal for him. _ _

__“I’m wearing the suit underneath.” It was his one cry of rebellion. It was all he had._ _

__“Hai hai.” Makoto smiled, happily victorious, and gave him another kiss, this time supplying Haru with enough affection that made him regret his choice a little less._ _

__“If Rin saw me wearing this he’d never let me live it down…” Haru murmured miserably, tugging at one of the sleeves as Makoto gave a last kiss to his forehead._ _

__“Don’t worry, I’ll only take pictures for me.”_ _

__“I will break your camera.”_ _

__“Then I’ll make sure you don’t see me take them.” Makoto really was in need for a costume change. A navy officer was too innocent for him. Grabbing the hem of his shirt, Haru began to undress._ _

__

__When they arrived, the festival was already well into motion. Booths were up and decorated, witches, monsters, and ghosts were running around campus, and lively conversation quickly filled up the air around them. Orange, black, and white was the theme, and almost every building and booth was coated in some sort of streamer, balloon, or spooky saying. Skeletons waved in the cool wind. The smell of roasted pumpkin seeks filled the air. Most beautiful of all, screams from the haunted house would sometimes echo throughout the air._ _

__Though Haru had been to Makoto’s university a couple of times, he was by no definition familiar enough with its setup. With this in mind he stuck close to Makoto, following him through the flow of people until they met up with the group of friends Makoto had talked about earlier._ _

__Like Makoto, they were all decked out in navy uniforms, hats all fancy on the top if their heads. He had to admit, together like this they had a sense of authority._ _

__The first one he was introduced to was Nakazo Tsumida, a tall, tanned guy with dark brown hair. Most of the time he sat back with a laid-back pose, the pierced stud in his nose glistening in the fading sun. When they arrived he was the first to take Haru’s hand, shaking it firmly with a nod of appreciation. According to Makoto, he was a third year and in charge, so to speak, of their specific booth. He was also apparently the first friend Makoto had made._ _

__The next was Shinichi Arai, though as he excitedly pointed out, his friends called him Ichi. The red of his hair could rival Rin’s, the curly mass on top of his head seemingly untamable. Ichi seemed unable to sit still, rocking on his heels the whole time and attention quickly jumping to whatever noise seemed the most interesting. He kind of reminded him of that Momo kid from Samezuka Rin swam with._ _

__Shoyo Yunokawa was a lot more relaxed than the former, sitting and simply nodding a hello with a gentle smile to Haru as his golden blonde hair was swept up into the wind. Behind his glasses were the most startling eyes Haru had ever seen, nearly silver in color. They made him feel as if he was staring right into the moon._ _

__Nishi Nanami only greeted Haru by a simple tilt of his head, going back to the very important work he had before him. That work, of course, was trying to balance a bunch of pencils on top of each other. Haru wasn’t exactly sure how he could even see in front of him, his black bangs so long that it had to be impossible for them not to be a hindrance. When Ichi purposely knocked into his handiwork, pencils were thrown in aggravation._ _

__Lastly, there was Mei Asuhara, the girl Makoto had mentioned before. As she was the only girl of the group, he had assumed so even before the introduction. She was short, feisty, and confident. Cropped to her shoulders was a sea of plum-colored hair that flew wild, natural waves creating curls at the tips. Nothing was more noticeable than her eyebrows, trimmed, crisp, and determined._ _

__Haru would have felt apprehensive about meeting Makoto friend’s, the key word here being _would have_ if it wasn’t for Mei. She clasped onto his hands as if she had known him for months and was simply greeting an old friend. Mei looked Haru dead in the eye. _ _

__“You’re cute. Work for us. We could use you.” Haru blinked at her, so surprised that he forgot to be anxious._ _

__“What?”_ _

__And just like that, Haru was roped into being part of the booth. It wasn’t like he really had any problem with it, he wasn’t one to mind it much. What got him was that it was so _easy_ for Mei to convince him to. One minute he was standing there next to Makoto, completely disarmed that she approached him so directly and the next he was standing in front of their booth, holding a large, candy-shaped sign, promoting their activity. He didn’t even get a can of mackerel out of it this time. _ _

__Makoto told him it was her face. It was too unwavering to withstand. Her major was apparently marketing. A fitting choice indeed. Still, she could work on her artistic ability. The sign looked like a five-year-old drew it._ _

__Oddly enough, though, it fit with what they were going for. Candyland was the theme, in which they had re-created the board game to be actual child-sized. They jumped across circles, spun a large wheel, and at the end received candy. It was all pretty fun, if the laughter from behind him meant anything. The pumpkins that Makoto and he had carved together (after a long and tedious clean-up break) decorated the grass around the colored dots, creating a rather cool ambiance if he had to say so himself._ _

__Believing that holding a sign for a couple hours would be boring proved not to be as true as Haru initially thought. For one he had Makoto, who did his best to spend time with him when time allowed it. In-between lulls he came over with chocolate, nibbling on his own while offering Haru a bite. Taking advantage of it Haru got Makoto to feed him quite a few times, which made up for his rather disdain for the sweet. Even when Makoto left him to do his job, Haru found that he didn’t hate it._ _

__Here, he could watch Makoto interact with children in person. No words could accurately describe the precious scene before him. Makoto, with his large hands, holding onto itty bitty ones with such carefulness as he helped them jump from dot to dot. Makoto, bending down in front of them and saying boo. Makoto, blushing like an idiot when he realized Haru was watching so intently._ _

__Makoto’s friends also had the courtesy of giving him some attention as well. Apparently the orca knew nothing about keeping his lips shut when it came to Haru, and so all of them at least knew some aspect of his life. Hiromi wasn’t the only one to suffer._ _

__Knowing nothing about them, Haru did his best to at least _try_ to respond to them. Nakazo was the easiest of them to talk to, as he too had been on the swimming team in high school and even often swam freestyle, though the backstroke was his specialty. He could quickly see why Makoto became fast friends with him. They had a lot in common. Haru tried not to let himself get too jealous, knowing that it was just as important for himself as it was for Makoto to branch out a little. _ _

__What actually became the most interesting part of the night, however, was when he met Mei’s girlfriend._ _

__Her name was Mira. Tall, sleek, and silent, she was perhaps the complete opposite of everything Mei could be. Long, autumn hair hung tight to her back as her white Roman dress hung loosely at her frame, light blue splattered like sky at its hem. On top of her head sat a flowered wreath, giving her the appearance of a Greek goddess._ _

__When she came up to Haru, her voice was gentle and sweet, asking if Mei was around. Just the sound of her was enough to make Mei turn. Like a lion, she pounced._ _

__“Mira-chan!” She cried, jumping into her and twirling her around despite their obvious height difference. “You came! I can’t believe it!”_ _

__“I managed to get all my work done on time.”_ _

__“You did all that work for me!?” Mei’s eyes went wide and she started rubbing at her eyes. “Wahhh Mira-chan! I’m so happy!” like a mother to her child, Mira pat her gently on the head._ _

__“I really wanted to spend time with you today.”_ _

__“Mira-chan.” Mei reached up and grabbed the sides of her face._ _

__“Mei.” Mira in turn bent down so they could be closer._ _

__Was it just Haru or was this getting awkward? He shifted on his feet._ _

__“Mira-chan….”_ _

__“Mei!”_ _

__Smooth as butter the two girls pulled at each other and kissed, as if the entire world ceased to exist for them._ _

__Yup, very awkward indeed._ _

__“Get a room!” came the shout of Ichi, who had the look of almost boredom. Haru was too busy trying to figure out where to look to not make this even more awkward for himself. Apparently these actions were quite normal for them._ _

__“Shut up, Ichi! You’re just jealous because you’re single and alone!” Mei broke apart to shout, then looking at Haru and giving him a wink. “Isn’t my girlfriend cute, Haruka-chan?” God if there wasn’t anything else worse in this world, it was having both of those used at the same time._ _

__“Mei, didn’t you say you wanted to walk around together?” Mira prodded, pulling at her cheek._ _

__“Oh yeah! We should totally hit up the haunted house!” She pulled away from her girlfriend so she could amplify her voice to the others. “Hey Nakazo, I’m taking my break!”  
“That’s fine.” Came his blasé reply. _ _

__Taking hold of her hat Mei tossed it to the other side, watching it land with a satisfying smirk. Then, like the wind Mira came in, they both faded off into the crowd._ _

__So distracted by the suddenness of events, Haru kind of just stood there. Well, to each his own he guessed. He couldn’t help but wonder what Makoto thought about such an act._ _

__“Mommy, it’s a kitty!” Startled, Haru looked over just in time to see a little girl dressed up in her own little cat costume, bumbling over towards him before tripping over her feet and falling into his leg. He was concerned for her at first, but the little girl quickly recovered herself, looking up at Haru with a big toothy smile. “You’re just like me!”_ _

__“Yeah.” Haru offered a small smile, bending down to be at her level._ _

__“I love kitties, they’re my favorite!” the little girl looked up at her mom as she approached, in firm belief that the information she was giving was important for everyone to hear. “At my house I have two kitties, Ponyo and Boots!”_ _

__“Do you now?”_ _

__“Yeah! We called him Ponyo cause she’s all orange like in the movie! Boots is boots cause his feets are the only part of him that are white!” she started stomping around, taking big wide steps to imitate walking in boots. “Hey, can I touch your ears!?”_ _

__“My ears?” Haru asked her with some confusion, and she bobbed her head up and down._ _

__“Yeah, they look so soft and fluffy!” Haru felt his actual ears burn red._ _

__“Go ahead.” He bent his head down for her to reach. Like two very small clamps, the little girl’s fingers gripped tightly to the fabric._ _

__“Meow!” she giggled at him, squishing the ears between her fingers. “That’s what my kitties say when I pet them like this! Meow!” Haru couldn’t help but humor her._ _

__“…Meow.”_ _

__“Come now, Reina-chan!” Her mother laughed, bending down to offer a hand to her child. “I think you’ve bothered this boy enough. Let’s go find daddy, shall we?” At the prospect of seeing her father the little girl’s head perked up, eyes practically beaming. She left Haru in favor of grabbing her mother’s hand._ _

__“Can we get sweet buns?!”_ _

__“I don’t see why not.” The girl looked ecstatic, jumping for joy as her tail wagged back and forth. “Say bye-bye now.”_ _

__“Bye bye, kitty!” she waved. “Meow!” Haru gave a gentle wave back. With a last look of thanks from the mother, the two immersed themselves into the crowd._ _

__When he turned around, he found Makoto staring at him._ _

__“What?” He asked, more than a little bit embarrassed. Of _course_ Makoto had to see._ _

__“Nothing.” Makoto simply smiled, fixing the hat on his head. All he managed to do was tilt it more. The fluff of his hair was too strong. “Just seeing how you were doing.”_ _

__It was when Makoto was turning around that Haru heard it._ _

__“Meow.”_ _

__He could have died._ _

__

__The rest of the evening was uneventful in the way most kind of things like this tended to be near the end. People began to fade out, the booths began to empty, and pretty soon all that could be heard was the bored chatter of college students who just wanted to go home. Only some remained, slowly staggering through the isles as they tried to soak in the last of the festival._ _

__It was towards this time that Haru and Makoto went off by themselves, wondering through it all much like the others. With less people around they were able to walk at their own pace, taking in the booths and decorations as they saw fit. Together they shared Taiyaki filled with orange-dyed custard, tried on various masks in contest to see who could find the most ridiculous mask, and played a game of goldfish scooping, where Haru once again earned them with little effort. Despite Makoto saying that he would like to keep them, they ended up handing the fish over to a group of children who were all pouting over the game from their lack of luck._ _

__After that Haru and Makoto diverged from the festival a bit, Makoto taking him on a tour of the other parts of campus. Though he had toured with Makoto the first time when the two of them had been looking at colleges earlier in the year, the buildings now took on a different light and he felt as if he were seeing them for the first time. Through Makoto’s bright eyes and excited smile Haru could feel how he had become connected to them, and so could always feel the specialness the university now had in Makoto’s heart._ _

__That building over there? His first class ever had been up on the third floor. So nervous, he had nearly tripped on the steps. It was okay, though, because nobody was around to witness it.  
And that one? Makoto made his first friend in that building. Unsure of where his classroom was supposed to be, he stumbled upon Nakazo. Like a kind senpai he showed him the way, only to pull up a seat beside him moments later._ _

__That over there was the cafeteria. He ate lunches in there, though sometimes if the weather was nice he would go and sit out on the campus green. There he could watch all the other students go throughout their day in the grace of the early afternoon sun._ _

__“You see that building over there, Haru?” Makoto asked, bending a bit to point past his head. “That’s where the pool is. I really want to swim with you in there someday.” Haru looked up at him._ _

__“We could go now?” His eyes were nothing but earnest._ _

__“I don’t have my swimming suit!”_ _

__“I do.”_ _

__“Well of course _you_ do!” Makoto laughed, grabbing his hand. “Come on it’s getting late. We should get back to the others.” A little disappointed, all Makoto’s fault, of course, because he had said the‘s’ word, Haru upped his pace so he could walk by his side. _ _

__Upon their return they were immediately given permission to leave again by Nakazo, who said that Haru’s added work was enough to grant them early leave. Makoto, as was his nature, protested, and promised to stay and help clean up._ _

__“Nonsense. Get going already. You two have done more than enough. No, Makoto. I refuse. Leave.”_ _

__In the end it was up to Haru, who bowed his head kindly before dragging Makoto off by the sleeve back to his apartment._ _

__

__~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~._ _

__

__“Well, that was fun.” Makoto gave an exhausted sigh, yawning into his hand as he plopped himself right down on the couch. Haru tugged down his cat-eared hood. “Thanks for the help, Haru.”_ _

__“It was nothing.” Haru crossed his arms, burying his hands into his sleeves to warm up his cold hands. Being outside for so long had set a chill some-what deep in his bones, and he was still trying to shake it out from his system. The costume could only do so much before it was no longer impermeable to the weather. It wasn’t really fur after all. Still… “I had fun.” Spending so much time with Makoto definitely filled up previously empty reserves._ _

__“I’m glad.” Makoto smiled, flipping his hat somewhere on the floor and starting to take off his boots. “They all said they liked you. Mei’s exact words were ‘cute as a button’ if I do so recall.” Haru scrunched up his nose._ _

__“Enough with the cute already.” The constant utterance of the word was like some type of curse. He was pretty sure he was losing a bit of his manliness with each pass of it. Well, two could play at the game. “If anyone’s cute, it’s you.”_ _

__Makoto must not have expected this because his face turned beat red, embarrassed beyond belief. His mind completely shut down, he buried his face in his hands in attempt to hide how hard he was blushing._ _

__With a smirk Haru made his way over, bending to try and see Makoto’s face. “What, cat got your tongue?”_ _

__“Shush Haru!” Makoto stammered, tugging Haru by the arm and pulling him onto his lap. “You can’t say such things out loud like that! And with such a straight face...” Strong arms wrapped around him and Haru melted into Makoto immediately, the coldness from the night air already starting to simmer away from his natural heat._ _

__“What? You _are_ cute though.” Haru looked at him, only to have Maktoto cover his mouth with the palm of his hand, the bottom of which tickled his lips. _ _

__“No more talking for you.” Fine. If Haru wasn’t allowed to talk, then he would just do something else to show him. Opening his mouth, he gently bit down on Makoto’s hand._ _

__It was hot, toughed, calloused. But moved with his tongue he could feel the softness of his flesh, taste the saltiness of his sweat and the leftover remains of cheap bathroom soap. The lines of his palm were deep enough to trace with his tongue and so he did, following it all the way up his lifeline to the center of his palm. Only then with a yelp did Makoto pull his hand away, leaving Haru with a tingling tongue and an unnamable taste in his mouth. He didn’t overall dislike it._ _

__“H-Haru.” Makoto stammered, his face still pink. “That tickles…”_ _

__“Sorry.” He shrugged, wondering if perhaps that was a bit weird of him._ _

__“No, its fine.” Was it just him or did Makoto sound even more embarrassed? So Makoto could initiate everything and be totally cool, but the moment Haru did something weird he reacted like this? He wasn’t even allowed to say Makoto was cute? Interesting. Haru actually wanted to play with this a bit. He smirked. Now who was the devil?_ _

__Reaching out, Haru grabbed Makoto hand again and pressed one of the fingers to his lips in a kiss, trailing along it with even smaller kisses until he reached the knuckle. He then proceeded to kiss the top of his hand as if he was kneeling before royalty. The feel of it was different than his palm, much more smooth and fuzzy with the little hairs there tickling his cheek._ _

__Exploring them like this, Haru was quick to realize that he really liked Makoto’s hands. They were softer than his own, warmer. His were smaller and thinner while Makoto’s were meatier, plump like a pillow in that Haru could lay in the softness of it for hours. He wouldn’t, though. He had other things to do._ _

__Haru bit at the access skin overlaying his knuckles, pulled at it a bit, then let it go, lifting up Makoto’s pointer finger with his tongue and pulling that into his mouth instead. To be honest, Haru didn’t know if he was trying to be sexy or was just acting weird and crazy, but he found that he didn’t really care. This was too fun, especially when Makoto was making such a face._ _

__And then the finger in his mouth was suddenly gone, pulled out with a loud pop and replaced by Makoto’s lips. They weren’t laced with gentleness or timidity. These lips were hungry. They ate at Haru’s like they had been starved for days, nipping at his bottom lip and pressing hard. Haru found himself quick to return the favor._ _

__Reaching for his neck Haru pulled Makoto closer, locking their lips and bringing a certain depth to their kiss. His body tingled with nerves and excitement, a feeling he had yet to become used to, as he slid onto his back and Makoto towered over him, lowered to the point that their chests were practically touching._ _

__Heavy fingers traced along his sides, pressed deeply into his back, and eventually weaved into his hair. Haru lost all sign of his own hands in the nape of Makoto’s neck, pressing deeper as Makoto moved his body closer, his knee sliding in-between Haru’s legs. Haru continued to kiss him, urging him farther, wanting more, _needing_ more. _ _

__Makoto’s lips were nothing short of magnificent, working with his desire as if they knew. They caused all else to fade into the background as they pressed into his own passionately, tongue licking, teeth nipping, persuasive as Makoto teased for approval. Haru all but raised his hands in surrender, allowing Makoto to kiss into his mouth with little hesitance._ _

__He shivered with a silent moan, becoming tender mush as Makoto completely made himself at home, licking along the roof of his mouth, across the bottom and then finally at Haru’s tongue itself, brushing against so slightly it tickled and sent burning chills down his spine._ _

__Void of all breath Haru pulled away, loose saliva threatening to spill over. Makoto left him for his own expedition, planting hot kisses down his jaw and along his neck, ending with a bite on tender flesh. Haru nearly hummed as his chest filled with fire to the point he could almost breathe it._ _

__He definitely wasn’t cold anymore._ _

__No, now he was hot._ _

__It was as if Makoto had never realized he had a neck before and was now giving all 19 years of missed attention, trailing up and down it like a xylophone and kissing each and every inch. He paid special attention to the hollow at the base of his throat, tonguing each and every cranny as if he might find some sort of gold there. When he seemed satisfied he sat up slowly, looking at Haru._ _

__“Haru looks really warm.” Makoto licked his lips, and Haru could barely stand anything anymore. His face, no his body, was probably brighter than the light hanging above them._ _

__“I am.” He fiddled with the zipper on his costume, cocking his head to the side. “Can you help?”_ _

__Makoto didn’t even dignify Haru’s question with an answer, instead pressing forward and sweeping him up into a loving kiss that made his heart flutter instead of spark._ _

__Careful hands stole the zipper from his, and Haru couldn’t help but look away in sudden embarrassment as the weight of his question rang in his ears to the tune of zipper clicks._ _

__He and Makoto had never gone this far before. Simple kissing had been it._ _

__Was this okay?_ _

__Was this too soon?_ _

__Did he push too far?_ _

__Makoto answered his questions and eased his worries with a gentle peck to his cheek. Turning his gaze, Haru was met with eyes that reflected all that he felt. Nerves. Desire. Love.  
So connected in mind heart and body, even from the start, it should have been obvious that their feelings were the same._ _

__Reaching up, Haru pushed Makoto’s hair back. It felt light and feathery in his grip, the coldness from outside still slightly trapped within its locks. How could a simple move of the hair possibly be so sexy? Haru had no goddamn idea, but with Makoto it was possible._ _

__Grabbing Haru’s wrist, Makoto kissed at the soft skin there, rubbing it with a light thumb press as he turned his head to kiss Haru elsewhere. One on his jaw, where he made sure to flutter his eyelashes. Another on his lips, which left a sweet smile in response. A third, then, fell on Haru’s shoulder, where Makoto slowly pushed away the costume to see the bareness of his upper arm._ _

__Haru grabbed at Makoto’s fingers as Makoto began kissing deeper against his skin, leaving wet marks along his shoulders and at the base of his neck, slowly trickling down his chest towards his belly button. Despite having the ability to breathe, the air around Haru seemed to be growing more and more thin._ _

__His lips were like a flame, burning the air right out of his lungs. That had to be it. That had to be why he was beginning to pant, his toes clenching as Makoto kissed his hips, half of it placed on the fabric of his swimming suit. And here Makoto was supposed to be cooling him down._ _

__The truth was Makoto was lighting him again and again, igniting the coals and letting them simmer until his lips returned and made the spot twice as hot as before. It felt good. Amazingly good._ _

__“M-Makoto.” Haru started to say, his breath airy. “I…” Wait, what was he even trying to say? His head was too fuzzy to remember even a thought. All that swam there was Makoto. His lips, outlining his ribs and following along his muscles. His breath, which was hotter than sin yet felt like heaven. And his touch, which curved and arched Haru’s position whenever he could feel them._ _

__“You want a kiss?” Makoto’s cheeks were as red as Haru’s body, and Haru couldn’t help but feel a bit bubbly over that, lost in the whisper of his voice._ _

__Shyly Haru nodded, not sure if that was what he had wanted before or no, but deciding it was what he wanted now. Makoto kissed Haru nose first before kissing him on the mouth once more, this time Haru being the one to invade and to tangle himself inside. At this point he wasn’t sure who was hotter, not that it mattered. He was more than ready to bask in this sun forever._ _

__“Mmm-“ Haru pulled away and bit his lip before the sound could escape, a moan nearly lost into the air. “What are yo- ah Makoto do-don’t ahh!” Haru was a puddle, having nowhere to go but shiver there in blissful agony as Makoto’s fingers continued to twist against his nipple._ _

__“Haru-chan is really sensitive here, huh.” Makoto kissed into his neck, Haru’s eyes becoming glazed from all the sensations that were making his suit grow too tight._ _

__“I’m I’m not….” He protested, closing his eyes as Makoto pressed it down with his thumb while licking at his neck. Haru shivered, all the while pressing into Makoto._ _

__“Uh-huh.” There was nothing but tease in his voice, and Haru came to the direct conclusion that there had been no chance for him to be the devil tonight._ _

__Makoto made a V with his fingers, squeezed his nipple and then leaning over, licked the erect bud. It was a sensation that had Haru in arch, biting his finger to keep his mouth shut while his heart pounded._ _

__Paying no mind to Haru’s reaction, Makoto continued to lick, this time putting all of it into his hot mouth as he swirled around it with his tongue._ _

__“M-Makoto-“ Haru panted, hoping to get his attention, but all he received was a sharp bite that sent a hand twisting into Makoto’s hair, pulling him closer to his chest as a result. Makoto slid his arms along Haru’s naked back and shortened the distance even more._ _

__Haru quickly became a mess. If his head was fuzzy before, now it was just impossible. He could focus on nothing but Makoto’s tongue, the way it flicked, and tickled and rubbed tender. The strength in his arms became rubbery, and as they both faded into Makoto’s mess of hair (completely undone by him), so did his will to stay quiet._ _

__When Makoto, who had been able to prove that he was _very_ good with his hands, reached over to twist the other half of his chest, he had absolutely no defenses to stop the moan that escaped between his lips. His body, his soul, his heart, they all felt too _good_ not to make a sound. _ _

__He hadn’t ever moaned out loud for Makoto before. At least, not to such an extent, and certainly not as erotic. It was enough to stop Makoto in his tracks, green eyes looking up as if they had just been graced with a gift from God himself._ _

__Haru just looked back at him, the embarrassment of it growing quickly and devouring his face in pink. It would have actually been visible if he hadn’t been so red already. Makoto smiled.  
“Does it feel good?” God don’t ask him _that_! Haru quickly turned his head away._ _

__“D-don’t be ridiculous! You should already know- ahh!” Haru instinctively arched his hips as Makoto’s teeth grazed against his sensitive skin once more, the area by now moist and covered with red marks. His insides felt like all him was trickling to his groin. “Makoto!” a breathless gasp clogged his throat._ _

__“It’s not enough.” Makoto whispered through kisses, sliding his tongue between nipple and finger. Haru squirmed, his head titled back. “I wanna hear what Haru’s feeling out loud.”_ _

__“But…!” Entirely at his mercy, he clutched at Makoto’s shoulders as the brunette began sucking at his throat again, tongue tracing along the lines of his neck. “That’s…!” Makoto then made _great_ use of his thumbs and Haru actually _whimpered_. He pulled Makoto tightly against himself, wrapping his legs around Makoto’s middle. “It’s good.” He finally answered softly, burying his face into Makoto’s neck. He wouldn’t have been able to admit so otherwise. “I feel like I’m boiling inside.” _ _

__“I’m glad.” Makoto kissed a series of sweet kisses against his lips. “Kissing Haru like this makes me feel hot inside too.” Well if he wasn’t turned on before, that certainly did it. Haru kissed him extra hard._ _

__“I love you, Makoto.” He whispered, nipping at Makoto’s lower lip. Makoto made a humming noise._ _

__“I love you, Haru.” Haru kissed at his nose. Makoto pulled him onto his lap and slid the costume’s sleeves off Haru’s arms. Together they embraced tightly, adorning each other with kisses. Haru focused on the puff of his cheek. Makoto took great interest in the curve of his chin. It was there, in the sweet intimacy of each other, that another sound began to register to their ears. The theme from Jaws was playing._ _

__Haru glared from the very depths of his eyes. You got to be kidding._ _

__Back in Iwatobi, Nagisa could have sworn that the balance of power had shifted._ _

__Makoto blinked at Haru, green eyes a bit hazed and confused._ _

__“Is that…Jaws?”_ _

__“Yeah. My phones ringing.” Makoto didn’t even take a second to think about it._ _

__“Rin?”_ _

__“Yes.” Completely skipping a chuckle, Makoto totally lost it, breaking into uncontrollable laughter that bouncing along walls around them. The pure innocence of it was enough to brighten a smile across Haru’s own face._ _

__“I can’t believe you still have that as your ringtone for him!”_ _

__“I’m keeping it until it stops being funny.” Which was never at this rate._ _

__“God if he ever finds out…” Makoto burst out into a fit of giggles again, burying his face into Haru’s chest. Haru just shrugged._ _

__“I’ll just turn him on his back. Sharks can’t move when they’re upside down.” Makoto looked up at him, his eyes bright with his laughter. The stupid ringtone rang again._ _

__“You should probably go get that.”_ _

__“Rin can wait.” Haru shook his head, reaching over to pull Makoto back to his lips. “I’m busy.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick question for you all. Would you prefer chapters that are shorter but come out faster, or longer chapters that take a bit more time to update? Just curious. 
> 
> Hopefully you all liked that chapter! definitely in my personal top 3! (i can do that right?) 
> 
> Now back to the abyss of college for me! until next time my lovelies!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what is this!? Uploading on a Saturday of all days!? The world is truly a mysterious place... 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Prepare to be jumping into lots of fluff and leave feeling like a _Sin_ namon roll.  
> Yes it's one of _those_.

There was always something about the inner-city of Tokyo that made Haru feel rather small. Perhaps it was the tall buildings, which towered over him like an ant to a tree, making him feel almost nonexistent. Maybe it was the unfamiliarity of the city, which was always able to make his gut long for home. It could have even been from the onslaught of people, who crowded the sidewalks and walked in packs to the point of uncomfortable closeness. Whatever the reason, it made him feel small and vulnerable, as if he were a tiny child trying to survive in the masses of Tokyo. 

Though being here for months had helped to stifle its overwhelming nature, sometimes when he was alone his stomach filled with a sense of unease. Haru liked to blend into the crowd. He didn’t enjoy being suffocated underneath it. 

A bit nervous now, Haru nuzzled into his jacket as he watched another couple walk by the bench he sat at. He hoped Makoto would get here soon. He always made the feeling go away. What, with his dopey smile and reassuring nature, Haru didn’t have time to be swept up by the city. 

Like an angel to a prayer, Makoto was quick to answer him. 

“Haru!” Makoto waved, parting from a particular large crowd of people to run the rest of the distance towards him. At his call Haru stood up a bit too quickly, his excitement at seeing the brunette more than a little obvious. 

“Sorry I’m late!” He rubbed his neck with a smile as he reached him, both of them gazing at each other with bright eyes. Haru just shook his head.

“We’re both early.” Makoto laughed at that, his eyes crinkling into smiles. Haru’s cheeks warmed. 

“I guess I just wanted to see Haru as soon as I could.” Makoto fidgeted with his coat despite the buttons being perfect. His hair pushed back slightly, Haru could see the tips of Makoto’s ears turning red. “After all… This is our first d-date. It’s good to be punctual.” Great, now they both were flushing like idiots. He was sure that there was more than _punctuality_ going through their minds. 

“Y-Yeah.” Haru curled his toes inside his shoes, finding interest in the grass attempting to grow beneath the sidewalk.

“Shall we go th-then?” Makoto coughed over his waver, trying to clear his voice in the hopes of coming off more confident. Haru didn’t understand why Makoto was so anxious. He was the one that asked in the first place! Even more importantly, at least he had been on a date before. On a scale of 1 to 10, Haru was a big fat 0. As in newborn chick, right out of the egg. What were you even supposed to do on a date? He had no fucking clue. Being all lovey with Makoto in private? Haru could do that. It was in public that Haru didn’t know how to act. 

It helped that they were going to a place they’ve been to before. The aquarium. Located in the hustle and bustle of Tokyo, it was considered one of the best in the country. There was going to fish from all over the world, sharks, turtles… dolphins. Just the thought was making Haru’s heart pound with eagerness, distancing the distracting nerves in his tummy. 

He could do this. There was nothing to be nervous about. He just had to… take a deep breath was all. Haru took his own advice and exhaled, looking up at Makoto to answer him. 

“Yeah.” Why was he always so hopeless in conversation? He prayed that his entire repertoire of words was not going to consist of one-word answers today. “Sounds good.” Genius. 

Makoto nodded with his still pinked face, taking a step towards the aquarium, only to stop before Haru could even begin his own. 

“Haru, before we go in do we…” Makoto gulped, as if searching for the right words to say. “Do we need to have the _talk_?” 

“What talk?” Haru looked at him curiously. Was there some date protocol he was supposed to be aware of? It’s not like they handed out brochures… Makoto cleared his throat.

“There’s going to be water.” 

“Very good, Makoto. I’m proud that college tuition is paying off.” 

“Haru.” 

“What?”

“You can’t swim in it.” Oh. _That_ talk. Haru pouted, but only a little bit. He had already prepared himself for this. 

“I-I know.” 

“So you won’t try to jump into the petting zone again?” Gee thanks for bringing that back up Makoto. You try to swim with starfish _one time_ and suddenly everybody is on your case. The security guy’s face was priceless, though. What made it even better was that seconds later the kids around him tried to jump in too. Makoto scolded him very hard that day. 

“I’ll try my best.” 

“Haruuuuuu...” Makoto whined, the stress of last time evidently still a very vivid picture in his mind. 

“I’ll be on my best behavior _mom_.” Haru couldn’t help but snort at Makoto’s face. Walking past him, Haru patted his best friend on the arm. “Don’t worry. I’m not wearing my suit today.” He left Makoto’s reaction up to his imagination, making his way to the entrance without him.

The aquarium, needless to say, was _huge_. The moment they entered they were greeted by bright white walls, pillars that stretched up to the ceiling, and various painted sea animals on the floor. While the registers sat near the entrance, farther back sat two tanks, one stretched along the back wall and another fixed in the center. Surrounding that was seating, where children were hungrily pressing their faces against the glass as the fish swam by. 

Haru’s eyes were dancing from the moment he entered, his heart already leaping with excitement like the water reflected on the floor. He had been here two times already, the last of which had been for his birthday, but the magic of it all never seemed to fade. 

“Let’s get our tickets.” Makoto smiled warmly, reaching over and grabbing Haru’s hand. Haru returned his gaze, squeezing the fingers tightly. He willed himself to calm down. 

“Yeah!” He sort of succeeded. 

Waiting to pay was madness. It was a Saturday for one, so kids were out of school. That couldn’t be helped, though. It was the only day they had free. Because of that he could at least understand the busyness. But come on. Did that old lady _have_ to pay in exact change? Haru was about ready to shove Makoto’s credit card into her hands and just have them pay for her so they could just get inside already!

Okay, so maybe he was a bit impatient. He hoped his grandmother up in heaven would forgive him. 

When Makoto finished the transaction and they were stamped with their passes (He tried to conceal his joy when he realized it was a dolphin), Haru dragged the orca away from the counter before he could barely stuff the card in his wallet. 

Bypassing the tanks in the room, Haru led Makoto passed the gathered children in quick pace towards a door lit up with the word “ENTRANACE”. Though he believed that the fish out here disserved just as much of his attention as the rest, Haru knew that the main attractions lived beyond these doors. He’d have to give the fish the time of day later. Makoto, thoroughly amused, allowed himself to be dragged through the automatic doors. 

This next room was massive, a large oval that was completely surrounded by tanks, save for a couple other doors that were meant to lead to other attractions, while in the center sat a large fish statue, making imaginary bubbles with its lips. Dimmer in light, the room was painted with a faint blue from all the aquariums.

Haru’s eyes were brighter than the water, sparkling in a brilliant aquatic hue that put all blues to shame. He was looking everywhere, from the blue fish to the gray fish to the orange fish. He took in the big and the small, the skinny and the fat, the odd-shaped and the elegant. This must be what it felt like to be Nagisa. To be so eager that you felt like bouncing. 

“Hey Haru, look at this one!” Makoto took the lead now, bringing Haru towards the glass and out of the way of the entrance. “His cheeks are all puffy!” Indeed, the fish was round and circular, almost the size of a basketball. As if to prove how amazing this was Makoto imitated it, puffing out his cheeks and bouncing his lips in attempt to look like the fish. 

“You two could be brothers.” Haru laughed softly at Makoto’s replication, cheeks burning slightly at the cuteness he just witnessed. 

Smitten, Makoto leaned into Haru’s shoulder as he pointed out a bright yellow fish. Like a cat and a laser pointer Haru’s eyes followed Makoto’s finger to the specimen, gaze twirling as the fish decided to race itself back and forth between glass and wall again and again. Makoto dubbed him the name ‘Banana’. Even Haru, who was _awful_ at naming things, scoffed at that. 

For a while, the two of them walked about the room, pointing out any fish that they found interesting. Since it was just the start of the attraction, it was only filled with the most basic fish of Japan. Because of this most of the children around them were quick to drag their parents off to new rooms as they quickly became bored. Haru and Makoto used this to their advantage, aimlessly wandering around without any desire to rush. 

As his excitement calmed slightly, Haru remembered that this was still supposed to be a date, only to realize that the initial nervousness was gone. There really wasn’t much to be considered different. Makoto was here, beside him, as always. Sometimes his heart would spark from surprise touches, and other times he had to look away because Makoto was shining too brightly. But it still was just them, doing things as they often did. Together. Now with the added bonus of being able to hold his hand.

“Ready to go to one of the other rooms?” Makoto asked, watching with a relaxed expression as Haru gently tapped at a fish frozen in front of the glass. 

“Sure.” Haru looked at him, only to pout slightly as his fishy friend decided to dash away. 

“Any room in particular?” Leading them both over to the doors, they stared at the signs that glowed above. Just the word dolphin was enough to cause the hairs on the back of his neck to fizzle, but he decided that it would only be fair if Makoto got to pick. 

They went into Makoto’s favorite. “THE CORAL REEFS”. 

This part of the Aquarium was always the most beautiful. When you walked in you stepped into a tunnel of sorts, the tank wrapping around like an arch. This allowed for the fish to not only swim beside you, but also overhead. The painting that all the exotic created was beautiful, decorating the water they swam in bright, colorful hues. These fish were a lot more active than the others, swiftly dancing around the tank as they weaved through corals, skidded along rocks, and blazed past one another. 

It wasn’t just filled with fish, though. As you continued down the path more oceanic life started to appear, lazily floating by like gluttons. This included shrimp, mini-sharks, turtles, and of course-

“Hey Makoto. Look. It’s Rei.” Haru lazily pointed at the sting ray feathering itself over some rocks. Makoto pretty much died, howling with unexpected laughter that forced him to lean against the glass to support himself. Haru took a picture of the creature to send to Nagisa. He figured the blonde would appreciate it. 

As they continued, the path they were on eventually weaved around the corner and down, bringing them into a large open area filled with individual tanks. In the center sat another tank that rose to about their stomachs, where kids could climb up the rocks decorated on the sides and actually pet and play with the organisms living inside. This was where Haru had his… incident.

Makoto was quick to drag him away from its sights, only to give a startled yelp as they passed the first tank and were greeted with the giant maw of a great white shark. In his alarm Makoto completely let go of Haru’s hand, instead taking shelter behind him. In the meantime, three little kids raced passed them and squished their faces up against the glass. He felt Makoto shiver.

“Why does it have to be so _big_?” He whined, attempting to hide his body as much as he could and failing miserably. “The other ones were cute, why can’t this one be?” 

“Because,” Haru walked forward so he could read the info epitaph, much to Makoto’s protests. “’He is a terrifying hunter that crushes its prey with its 300 teeth.’” Haru looked behind him. “His name is Sebastian.” 

“That does _not_ make it better!” 

Haru just shrugged, looking back at the beast as it started to complete its umpteenth circle around the tank. From the swish of its tail to the flex of his gills, Haru’s eyes glided along Sebastian until his gaze focused on the teeth. A couple of seconds ticked by. He pulled out his phone. 

“Haru don’t send a picture to Rin.” Makoto sighed, digging his forehead into Haru’s shoulder. 

“I gotta.” Was all he said in response. _I found your brother_. Was what he texted along with it. After he returned his phone to his pocket Haru decided to appease his best friend, re-grabbing his hand from his shoulder and tacking him to the next, less-frightening tank. 

Like before the two of them glided along the glass at their own pace, tuning out the shouts of all the other visitors and sticking mostly to themselves, enjoying each other’s company. Makoto got a kick out of the seahorses, who had him still marveling over the fact that it was the males that laid the eggs. Meanwhile, Haru spent a good 15 minutes following a bright purple fish that seemed hell-bent on avoiding him. It was like a game of tag, and he was going to _win_ dammit. 

With some luck, Haru was actually able to convince Makoto to let him play in the petting zone. Well, to be honest, it didn’t take much. All he had to do was stand on his tip-toes to make their eyes level and get really close and Makoto was putty. Haru was simply ecstatic, pressing his fingertips into the water with delight. 

His fingers slid alongside the roughness of a starfish, brushed against the tendrils of some harmless anemone, and even happened to touch the scales of an unsuspecting fish. 

“Hey, feel this.” Haru grabbed onto Makoto’s wrist, taking him away from the starfish he was stroking towards a sea urchin he himself had been just playing with. 

“Wait isn’t that supposed to be poin-ty?” Makoto blinked as he carefully pressed his fingers against the supposed spikes. With no sharp pain following he continued to touch it, feeling along its thin bristles. 

“Usually.” Haru hummed, a faint smile on his face. “But the one’s here are raised specially for people. They just tickle.” Grabbing Makoto’s finger, he gently sild it along the urchin’s side. “See?” 

“Oh, it does!” Face alight, Makoto continued to play with it. Haru just watched him, making friends with a starfish he had yet to touch. 

Despite having fun, Haru and Makoto decided they could only take up space at the petting zone for so long before becoming a hindrance to those around them. With this in mind, they washed their hands and clasped fingers once more, heading back through the tunnel that they came through. 

“Do you think we can ignore the octopus this time?” Makoto asked hopefully. Haru looked at him like he had asked for it to rain cats and dogs. “No? okay…” a bit miserably, he followed Haru’s lead into the darkened cavern, appropriately labeled “KRAKENS LAIR”. 

The atmosphere that the Aquarium had set up to such a title was spot on, wrapping the newest tunnel they stepped through into darkness. The only light that was emitted was from little lights hung up around the windows of the encircling tank and along the path on the floor. From inside the tank glowed a brilliant purple hue, emphasizing the creature within. Jellyfish.

They were as beautiful as they were frightening, their movements mute as their tentacles trailed from behind. 

Both Haru and Makoto could speak no words as they slowly traversed the path, both silently mesmerized from the view they were given. The way they all glided to their own tune was nothing short of amazing. Anything spoken would just wreck it all. Haru just settled for squeezing Makoto’s hand. 

Just as before, the room the tunnel spread out into was dimmed, tanks on either side of the area lit up much similar to the jellyfish. Most of the ones here were fish only found in the darkest reaches of the ocean, instilling a cool, somber air to their surroundings. 

The fish down here were always bizarre, composed in odd angels with the strangest evolutions he had ever seen. What could they possibly accomplish with such a flat head? And really? So many eyes was just creepy. And yet these fish had deemed it important to grow in this way. 

Since Makoto didn’t like this area very much, Haru didn’t stay too long to watch their strange behavior, leading the two of them to the main attraction of the room. Through a much smaller tunnel they emerged upon it. The giant octopus. 

A smallish crowd sat in front of the enormous tank, every now and then small flashes going off to capture what was inside on camera. As for the Octopus itself, it was as massive as it was lazy, suction cups latched onto the glass as it sort of just laid there, curled up into itself as it continued to nap. Just one of his tentacles was long enough to be taller than any normal man, probably fatter in size than Haru himself was.

“It’s asleep.” Haru informed Makoto, who was particularly focused on the floor below them and sweating Haru’s hand practically to death. 

“Oh is it?” Makoto sounded a bit too happy about that. Well, at least now he was willing to look at it. Haru understood well enough that it hit a bit too close to home in terms of his fear of the ocean, being a huge creature of the deep and all, and so was sure to offer him support. 

“I think they fed him not too long ago, so he’s probably just resting. Let’s go look at the next room.”

“Oh… are you sure?” Haru offered Makoto a gentle look. 

“The really big turtles are in the next one, aren’t they? We have to take pictures for Ren and Ran. Last time you forgot.” At this Makoto chuckled, and the two of them left the exhibit even as a little boy cried that octopus was stirring. Haru didn’t really care about it much anyways. Mackerel was a lot more delicious. 

“Yeah. It’s because they’re addicted to _Finding Nemo_ and won’t stop quoting the turtles.” 

“It’s a good scene.” Haru defended, huffing a little. 

“Hai hai.” Smiling, Makoto squeezed his hand in apology. “And fish are friends, not food.” 

“Except for mackerel.” 

“Except for mackerel.” 

 

The turtles in the “TURTLE TANK” were indeed as huge as Haru had alluded to, the green sea turtles nearly as big as himself. Mixed in with them were several other sea turtles, swimming slowly through the water with rather blank expressions on their faces. 

Though it was originally the intent to just take a picture of Makoto with the turtles, two very kind elderly ladies saw what they were doing and offered their service, playfully shoving Haru towards Makoto side. Unable to say no despite a strong urge to do so, he joined Makoto’s peace sign with his own. 

“Smile young man!” the old lady holding the camera yelled, making Haru jump in surprise. “You both have pretty faces let me see them!” Haru gave her a sliver of an upturn, if only to appease her.  
“Great!” She snapped the shot. “Ah… youth. Back in my day the men weren’t nearly as handsome as you boys.” 

“Don’t let your husband hear about that, Margret.” Her friend laughed. “He might get jealous!” 

“That old brute wouldn’t know beauty if it smacked him in the face. Did I tell you the other day he tried matching stripes with _paisley_?” Her friend looked simply disgusted at the mere thought. “I know! I’ll tell you what I did! I tore them clothes right out of his hands and smacked him upside the head. Men these days. Know nothing about anything.”

With small bows Haru and Makoto thanked them, only to turn to each other in laughter once they turned around the corner. There were just some things about the elderly that you couldn’t make up if you tried. His grandmother had been much the same, gifting Haru with stories from the past that made his stomach warm for hours. 

“I think the twins will like it.” Makoto praised the picture, sliding his camera into his pocket for safekeeping. “Do you think I should take some pictures of the otters next?” 

“I’m sure they’d love it.” Following the older women, they made their way down to the next exhibits. 

 

At the prospect of the next room, Haru was twitching. Dolphins, he was going to see dolphins. From his inability to stay still Makoto was laughing, leading the two of them to two open seats in the exhibit arena. Of course Makoto would be sure to plan their date around seeing a dolphin performance. This was _Haru_ they were talking about here. 

Like a child about to open his presents on Christmas Haru swayed in his seat, standing up slightly in hopes of seeing farther down into the tank. His wishes weren’t granted, however, and he sat back down next to Makoto with a huff. 

“It’s almost time.” Makoto whispered to him, stroking his thumb. “Excited?” Haru looked up at Makoto, his body warm. 

“Yeah.” He admitted, burying his face in Makoto shoulder, only to peak an eye out to look at the still water. “I hope it starts soon.” There was nothing more disappointing than waiting to see a majestic creature, only to be given the stupid human trainers instead. He huffed out loud again. 

This time the gods must have felt his pain for not even a minute later a resounding splash echoed through the stands, followed by a speeding bullet of grey. Like many of the kids in the arena, Haru sat up straight. 

It was the dolphins squeak that got him, really. After it twirled around beneath the water a couple of times the dolphin broke the surface, only to raise its head and squeak for all the audience to hear. Haru bit his thumb to keep his emotions in check. Three more dolphins joined. He couldn’t stop the smile stretching across his face anymore. When they did their first jump? Haru was completely lost in his euphoria. 

Needless to say the dolphin show was incredible. The creatures were well-trained and talented, doing tricks, flips, and creating music for the more-than-enthusiastic crowd. Haru had never felt so much pride in being compared to a dolphin in his swimming as he did now, he heart leaping with adoration as he watched the elegant creatures glide through the water like air. They knew what it meant to be free too. He just knew it. 

As the applause signaled the end of the show, Haru was on his feet, expertly weaving him and Makoto through the crowd towards the stairs and into the basement. Now that it was over, he could watch them swim in all their glory. 

The basement was huge, resembling the beginning room through its oval-like size. The entire wall of the room was the dolphin’s tank, circling around some seating and educational interactive devices for children to play with. 

“Ah, Haru wait up!” Being such a large size Makoto found it much more difficult to flow through the crowd, nearly losing Haru’s hand a half-a-dozen times. Haru paid him no mind, finally letting go of his warm haven to jump onto the step made for children and plant his palms against the tank’s glass. 

In an entourage of bubbles the four dolphins were quick to join him, one of them diving all the way to the bottom, only to swim up the glass beside Haru. Haru’s eyes followed him in wide wonder, nearly falling backwards if it wasn’t for Makoto’s steady arm catching him. 

“Careful.” Makoto whispered gently, green eyes catching on blue. Haru’s cheeks turned a faint pink. 

“T-thanks.” With the help of the step he and Makoto stood at the same height, and he could see straight into their magnificence without having to strain himself. Yet another sight he could get lost in for hours. 

Onii-san look at that one!” the cry of a little girl next to their right broke them out of their trance, Makoto actually jumping while Haru looked particularly startled. Somehow breathless without even moving, Haru turned to see what the kid had been so excited about, just in time to see a dolphin twirl rapidly in the water before skimming past one of its friends. 

“I want to swim.” Haru said affectionately, thinking it before saying it out loud, bright eyes reflected in the glass before him. With such intensity visible Makoto didn’t doubt him. 

 

Dragging him out of there was more difficult than either of them expected, Haru wanting to stay and indulge on the moment a little bit longer. They both knew that if they waited for the moment he grew tired of it, however, they might never get out of there. 

So with a kind, gentle tug, Makoto slowly pulled him out and back up the stairs, giving promises that this would not be the last time he saw his friends. 

As it was later in the day the rooms were a bit sparser, finding only a couple of families hanging around as they made their way back to the room they had started in. Here they took a seat, Haru purchasing a water for the two of them to share. It was hard not to be around so much water and not be thirsty. 

“Ne, Haru?” Makoto asked quietly after a while, his tone making Haru stop sipping on his drink to turn and look at him. Granted his attention, Makoto found he could no longer look at him, opting to look forward instead as his face slowly grew red. “I’ve been thinking… I haven’t really… Well, I guess I kind of did…? Sort of. Nagisa says it doesn’t really count, but I feel like-“

“Makoto you’re rambling.” Haru interrupted. 

“Oh, sorry.” He itched his cheek with an awkward chuckle, wiping his other hand on his pants before grabbing one of Haru’s. “It’s just… I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I realized I never properly asked, even though we’ve been like this for a couple of weeks now.” Makoto paused, probably to gather his bearings. Haru just stared at him dumbly, not grasping the situation at all.  
“Haru, w-will you go out with me?” 

Haru blinked at him, going from pale to a brick in .2 seconds. 

“Oh.” Shit he was not expecting that. Haru looked away in his embarrassment, unable to get his tongue to work properly in his mouth. “I… I thought...” He thought they already _were_. He had just assumed that Makoto breaking up with Hiromi and kissing him all the time meant that they were dating. Now the both of them were flustered beyond compare, their faces in contest to see who could get the reddest. 

“You thought we were dating already too…!” Makoto buried his face in his hands. “I _knew_ it.” 

“Well, aren’t we?” Haru stammered, fighting an urge to break one of the tanks open to cool himself down with the water within. It was just so hot. 

“I thought so! But Nagisa kept saying it wasn’t _official_ because I hadn’t really asked you up-front!” 

“So this date was a way to make it official?” Haru bit his lip as Makoto peered through his fingers. 

“Y-yeah. I wanted to make it special…” Haru couldn’t help but smile at that. He scooted closer so their thighs were tightly pressed against each other. 

“It is.” He said softly, shyly looking at Makoto through the strands of his bangs. “I’m having a great time.” Regardless of where they went, it wouldn’t have mattered. Haru would have enjoyed his time with Makoto just as much if they had just stayed at home and did nothing. Their relationship had never been about what they did, even as kids. It was the company. Just breathing the same air was enough of a thrill. 

“I’m glad.” Makoto reached out, bonking their foreheads together affectionately. Haru quickly flicked his eyes to the rest of the aquarium, only to not care if somebody saw them or not. He leaned forward and kissed Makoto gently on the lips. 

“I’ll go out with you.” He hummed, thick lashes tickling along Makoto’s cheeks. Even with the expectation that Haru would say yes, Makoto’s face grew bright with surprise and tears pricked the corners of his eyes. 

“Haru..!” Makoto pulled him close, snuggling him tight to his chest as he buried his face into black hair. A bit stunned, Haru shifted himself to burry further into the warmth, feeling incredibly at home. They sat like that for a moment, Haru wrapping his arms around Makoto’s back. 

“So what do you wanna do now?” Makoto asked him as he pulled away to look at Haru after a while, hands still planted on his waist. At his question Haru looked away with sudden bashfulness, his heart thudding with his answer. Curious green eyes watched him carefully. 

“Can we… go through again?” In reply Makoto leaned forward and kissed him gently on the temple. 

“Of course. We can stay until they close.” Haru’s eyes blazed with love. His best friend… no, his _boyfriend_ was too good to him. Just the word itself filled him with a new round of adoration. 

“I want to go see the dolphins again.” Makoto didn’t expect anything less. 

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

 

Takeout boxes from dinner littered the floor. Leftovers sat out without being properly put away. Used chopsticks laid unwashed. Normally, Haru would have been bothered. Right now, however, he couldn’t be driven to care. He was a bit… preoccupied. 

Both shirtless, the two of them sat on the floor as Haru lavished Makoto’s bare chest with kisses, aiming to mark and to claim. Makoto held on tightly to the back of his thighs while Haru kneeled in front of him, unable to do nothing but watch with darkening eyes as his body became wet with Haru’s mouth. 

“H-Haru…” Makoto panted, voice wavering as Haru sucked at the skin just above his nipple, tongue licking at the red spot his lips had started to form. “I thought we agreed on no hickeys.” 

“Yeah, on me.” He replied, kissing up to Makoto’s neck in a series of tender kisses. His hand slid along Makoto’s belly, who shivered at the contact. He loved the way Makoto felt against him, big and strong and yet smooth to the touch. The definition of his muscles was by far his favorite, still taut and defined from years of swimming. He loved outlining them with his tongue and feeling the tenseness his actions were causing. “Nobody will see yours.” 

Pouting, Makoto could do nothing but give a breathy moan as Haru pressed himself closer, his knees tight against his dick. 

“Something wrong?” Haru teased, nibbling lightly at his ear. They were beat red, heat practically sizzling off of them, and he couldn’t help but lightly kiss the lobe. Makoto was so cute when he was hot and bothered. 

“Haru…” With heavy exhale, Makoto slid his palms up the bareness of his back, suddenly pulling him so their lips mashed together messily. Makoto’s want was obvious, his actions rough in passion, and Haru was quick to match him. He heatedly kissed as his fingers massaged and rubbed along the muscles of Makoto’s shoulders and chest, loving the sounds that Makoto made so easily, the way he groaned and gasped from all of his touches like they were bliss. 

Lost in himself Haru rocked them forward, Makoto’s head colliding with his couch cushion as Haru kissed down into his mouth. All he could think of was how much more he wanted. More to touch, more to feel, more to love. Haru wanted to greedily soak it up until there was nothing left. 

It was the same with Makoto. Haru could feel it. He knew without words that there was a burning desire in both of them, one that was clawing at their insides with increasing need.  
Sinking, Haru rolled his hips right into Makoto’s with his own sound of desire, both trembling at the sudden sensation that filled them. Right in his groin Haru could feel it, the familiar heat that burned and coiled every time he dove deeper into Makoto Tachibana. 

It drove him dizzy, sending his head and body into a frenzy that made him wobble both within and outside himself. He loved it, loved how it tickled and tingled and was all because of the boy sitting in front of him. 

A second, a third, a fourth time, Haru grinded into Makoto with the ease of a dancer, hips flowing and pressing with increasing strength and urgency. In response Makoto was frenetic, bucking up without much thought in his lustful daze. His palms roamed Haru with light pressure, stroking his spine and scrapping nails against his back as he tried to somehow hold a grip. 

Haru’s body hummed at the touch, adoring when Makoto touched him gently, but finding something special in when Makoto started to grow rough as well. It was a new side, a new experience to learn and to understand. Haru wanted to embrace this new part of Makoto just as much. What did it feel like when those soft palms of his became rough and dominant? What would the grip of his fingers, his mouth, his body, feel like as they completely ravished him? And what could those lips do to bring him completely to the edge, laying him bare and taking him as his own?

He wanted to submerge himself entirely, even if in the end it destroyed him. If it was part of Makoto, he wanted it all. 

Separating their lips with a resounding pop Haru dived, his mouth hungrily trailing Makoto’s beautiful canvas as he licked and nipped and sucked all along his broad chest, tasting the sweat and the sweetness found there with a tingling tongue. 

When he pulled away his lips were bright red, wet and slightly bruised. He stared right into those green eyes as he quietly tried to grasp himself. 

Makoto was a beautiful mess, his hair tousled, eyes lidded, and body pink before him as he desperately tried to catch his breath. Nothing could be more alluring than such a sight. 

“Makoto.” Haru murmured, leaning forward so his lips faintly grazed Makoto’s own. He hooked his fingers in the hem of Makoto’s pants. “Can I take these off?” 

“H-Huh?” Makoto somehow got redder, taken out of his previous trance to look at Haru with embarrassed cheeks. 

“If you don’t want me to-“

“No!” Quick to interrupt Makoto grabbed onto Haru’s face. From Haru’s startled expression he quickly tamed his own. “I mean… It’s okay. I was just taken aback for a second… T-touch me as you like, Haru.” With a small smile Haru kissed the palm of Makoto’s hand. 

“Okay.” Haru went slow, not directly stripping the man out of his pants. Instead he loaded Makoto with more kisses, only pulling down his jeans when he felt satisfied that he had filled Makoto up to the brim with his love. The boxers that greeted him were stripped blue and green, and Haru couldn’t help but smile at the small little whale that decorated the hem. 

What came next were small bites to his abdomen, leaving Makoto breathless as his left him with even more marks that would stay with him for days. He kissed at the tender flesh, at the soft fabric, and then finally at Makoto’s noticeable bulge. 

Beneath his lips it was hard and shapely, Haru outlining what he could with the tip of his tongue. He could physically feel Makoto quake at the touch, legs trembling, and found that reason enough to slip Makoto’s boxers down to his thighs and release his dick. 

Immediately Haru couldn’t help but cover his face, cheeks flushing bright red, despite doing all this himself. He forgot how _big_ Makoto was. It wasn’t like this was the first time he’d ever seen Makoto naked, after all. He and Makoto had often bathed together as children, and even when they got older, changing at the swim club had pretty much desensitized the awkwardness of being naked together. This was, however, the first time he had ever undressed Makoto himself. It was also the first time he had done so with the intention of touching him like this.

Up close in such a position, he couldn’t help but be tongue-tide from looking at Makoto’s rather impressive package. He had no idea how to even _start_. 

“Wh-what?” Makoto’s nervous voice trailed down to him, and Haru looked up in fluster, never before having found Makoto’s shy expression quite so erotic.

“N-nothing.” Shit, he _really_ should have thought things through. All he knew was that they couldn’t leave things as they were, both of them filled with so much desire that it was impossible to _not_ and still be satisfied. But how was he going to do it when he had nothing in terms of experience? 

“You were making a fac-ahh!” Haru interrupted him with a kiss to his tip, licking at the slit as he carefully grasped onto Makoto’s length. He wasn’t going to hesitate, not if it made Makoto nervous. 

With flecks of his tongue Haru had Makoto hitching his breath as he bit back a moan, fingers ripping at the carpet. Moving forward and trying to concentrate, Haru licked further along the shaft, kissing all the way up to the base. Makoto was wet with pre-cum already so his lips glided over its hotness easily enough, filling his mouth with a strange taste that wasn’t overall that bad. 

“Haru…” Makoto moaned, his voice heavy. Haru could feel it weigh down on him and so he pulled back, rubbing his fingers down Makoto’s dick before finally sticking it into his mouth. 

He was unsure. Unsure of what to do, of what would make Makoto feel comfortable and good. His experience was nothing. His confidence was nothing. And yet he knew that there was nothing more he wanted to do then pleasure Makoto as best he could. 

It was hot, hotter than any part of Makoto’s body he had ever felt. It stretched his lips to an almost full ‘O’, pulsing to a sporadic beat as Haru pulled back slightly to swirl his tongue around it’s stiff heat. He repeated the motion with the addition of his hand stroking him up and down. 

Quickly Haru found a rhythm, running his hand down Makoto’s dick while licking and sucking and massaging over its skin with his tongue, being extra careful not to scrape him with his teeth. Too fast Makoto grew for his delicate lips to encompass him any longer and so Haru kissed and devoured along the thick vein underneath, licking at every line and crevice until Makoto could no longer speak, hands buried into Haru’s hair and pressing him closer in full-on need. 

“H-Haru..! Fuck Haru!” With nimble fingers Haru massaged his balls, listening to all the sounds Makoto made and working to amplify them. He wanted nothing more than for the room to fill up with the sounds of Makoto crying out his name. The constriction in his own pants was soaked, but he paid it no attention. He could deal with it later. “I can’t ho-hold back anymore..!”

“Then come.” Haru breathed out with order, sloppily mouthing the edge so Makoto could perfectly see him, mapping it with his tongue. 

“Bu-But AHH~!” Unable to hold himself back any longer Makoto came, thick spurts spluttering out as his head fell back in orgasm. It was a beautiful sound, one peaked with bliss, and Haru quickly looked up so he could see it in all its magic. 

Makoto looked decimated, his eyes squeezed shut and chest heaving in audible breathes as the sparks from release still echoed through his body. The rigid tenseness from before was gone, his muscles now lax as he tried to recompose himself and his surroundings. 

Haru reached up to wipe some come off from his cheek, feeling quite satisfied with his success. After a moment of contemplation he shrugged, licking it off from his thumb. It didn’t taste like he expected. There wasn’t much to it, though it was a bit salty. 

With a hum, Haru leaned forward so he could plant a chaste kiss on Makoto’s lips, green eyes opening at the sense of touch. 

“You okay?” he asked, gently petting some of Makoto’s hair back. Comfortable arms automatically wrapped around his waist. 

“Mhm.” Makoto nodded, head tilting into Haru’s fingers. 

“D-Did it feel… okay?” Blushing at his words, Haru wasn’t sure if direct feedback was worth the embarrassment. Makoto fingered Haru’s bottom lip with a gentle stroke, smiling away his insecurities. 

“It was amazing Haru.” Makoto pulled him closer for an additional kiss. “It felt really good.” Yet another kiss. “Wonderful.” Haru wrapped his arms around Makoto’s neck, kissing him deeply. 

“I’m glad.” He breathed, his lips sensitive as Makoto licked them. 

“Hmm. I guess now it’s my turn to make Haru feel good.” Hand’s slithering like snakes he palmed the front of Haru’s pants. From not being touched for a long time Haru sizzled at the contact, a quiet gasp filtering through his lips. He tried to kiss Makoto through it anyways. “You can’t be comfortable like this.” 

Haru didn’t respond with words, his body answering directly as his he gyrated his hips into his Makoto’s hand. His fingers pressed tightly into his dick and Haru quickly became breathless, his body sinking into the pleasurable digits. 

Makoto took that as his form of permission, teasing Haru’s tongue with his as he slid his fingers across Haru’s groin towards his zipper. He pulled the metal down with aggravating slowness, almost to the point that Haru was tempted to just pull down his pants himself.

“I’m surprised.” Makoto purred, hands sliding up Haru’s bare legs as his pants gathered to his knees. “You’re really not wearing your swimming suit.” 

“I told you I wasn’t.” Haru kissed at Makoto’s cheek, his nose, the corner of his eye. “Too tempting.” He added. 

“I’m proud of you.” Licking up his neck Makoto had him shivering, not even taking off his underwear to slide his hands up beneath the fabric and caress his ass. “You’re finally learning some self-control.”

Haru didn’t even dignify that with an answer, whimpering as Makoto finally removed his underwear and let them fall to his pants. The air was incredibly cold compared to the hotness of his previous prison and he reflexively curled into Makoto, burying his nose into his cheek with heavy exhale. 

“You’re so wet already, Haru…” Makoto cooed, fingers feathering down his thighs before caressing the along sides of his dick. “I haven’t even done anything to you yet.” 

“S-Shut up.” Haru went crimson. It wasn’t his fault Makoto was a total turn-on. 

Kissing his ear with a laugh, Makoto grabbed hold of his length and started to give it tender strokes, dazing Haru in very few rubs. The hotness in his abdomen had subsided for the most part while taking care of Makoto, but in seconds it was back, burning hot fire along his insides and drowning him in pleasure. 

Makoto’s hand was so hot he felt like he was swimming in lava, fire igniting in his ribcage and making it impossible to breathe. Incoherent sounds soon crossed through his lips without control as Makoto’s pace became faster and more rhythmic. The room was swimming now and Makoto’s tongue on his throat did little to help, purposely humming and sending vibrations all the way down to his groin. He sucked and kissed and nibbled, at times pulling Haru’s lips into a hot and wantonly spurt of passion. 

“Ma-Makoto..!” 

Haru’s knees shook and then he collapsed with quivering muscles, Makoto’s rapid stokes not stopping as he turned him around his lap and kept going. His head fell back into Makoto’s chest and he gasped hotly for air, unashamed of the noises he made as his desire took hold of him. 

Wordlessly he pulled Makoto down by the neck and kissed him and he could feel it, the tension growing too thin and he knew he was losing it, that everything was about to snap and so he kissed Makoto harder, licking the innerness of his mouth and sucking at his tongue…

And then the world was white and everything rippled in release, Haru silently moaning into Makoto’s mouth as his body pulsed, coming all over Makoto’s hand. All his senses were gone and he was left to floating along on his own, flowing on the high of pure pleasure. His went from tense, to lightness, and then gradually set back into exhaustion, where he took an uneven breath as he leaned more comfortably into Makoto. 

Silently Makoto readjusted him, pushing sweaty bangs back with gentle fingers and kissed Haru on the temple. 

“Feel good?” Makoto murmured, nuzzling him with his nose. Haru simply nodded in response, looking at him with bright blue eyes before closing them. 

“Yeah.” He honestly couldn’t remember a time he felt better than this. Every moment with Makoto was becoming something he wanted to remember for the rest of his life. From little things like holding hands to going on dates to doing intimate stuff like this. All long as it was with Makoto, he was sure to cherish it forever. 

In terms of response Makoto didn’t ask for anything more, instead relaxing into Haru himself and hugging him tightly. Haru wanted to do just as much, feeling a bit sleepy from such a busy day, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of something… stiff pressing up against him. He opened his eyes slowly. 

“Makoto, are you… hard again?” 

Let it be known. Makoto Tachibana was a lot more of a pervert than anyone would initially expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoh-hoh-hohhhh~ 
> 
> So is this an okay time to tell you guys that this is my first time writing smut for an audience like... ever? I blushed like mad writing all of this. IM SUCH AN INNOCENT LITTLE FLOWER OKAY!? 
> 
> Also it's been a while, so I just want to quickly throw out again how much all of you and all the wonderful comments that greet me after I post a chapter mean to me <3 I mean seriously? Over 700 kudos? You guys are all fantastic! It's been such a boost to my confidence and it makes me smile knowing that there are people out there who enjoy my writing. 
> 
> You all are very lovely people and I'm happy to write for you! 
> 
> Until next time~


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely people! I really wanted this out for Makoto's birthday, but clearly I did not reach that deadline.  
> I hope you enjoy the chapter anyways! :)

Haru’s parents were selling the house back in Iwatobi.

_His house_.

Needless to say he was not happy. Haru had been told weeks upon weeks ago about this, back in September when Makoto was still dating Hiromi and everything around him had felt a lot more bleak. It had been nothing but a papercut on an already deep gash.

“It only makes sense, Haruka. The house is just sitting there empty. Wouldn’t it be better for a family to make their own home there now?” Is what his mother had said, at least trying to appeal to the more intimate side of him. His father focused on nothing but the financial of it. 

“We’re paying a whole lot of money for a house nobody is living in. We just can’t afford it anymore, Haruka. Especially with you going to college in Tokyo. I’m sorry.” 

And yet all their words, all their apologies and reasons, fell on deaf ears. As far as he was concerned, his house wasn’t going anywhere. It was going to be a permanent fixture in both his life and Iwatobi. Nothing was going to change that. The skies could rain fire, plants could learn to speak, and Nagisa could grow to be taller than himself, but that house would always be his. 

His parents didn’t understand that there was something comforting in knowing that there was a place he could return to if Tokyo ended up not working out. It was his, dammit, _his_. His comfort, his happy place, his world of worlds. He wanted to shout this at them, make them understand that there were just some things you couldn’t take away from a person. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. He was an adult now. Throwing a tantrum was out of the question. That is why when his parents called him up, he stayed quiet as they told him they finally sold the house. 

“Okay.” Haru curled his legs into his stomach and buried his nose into Makoto’s knee, phone pressed tightly to his ear as his parents talked on and on about how this was important and necessary for their finances. _It will make a family happy Haruka. The money will be helpful to get you through college Haruka. It’s just a house we can buy another one together later Haruka_.

They didn’t care. That’s what he decided. His parents didn’t care that that house was his _home_. It was where he grew up, where he took his first steps and took his first baths. It was there that the majority of his memories with his parents happened, and where all the gentle times with his Grandmother were preserved.

That house took care of him when nobody else was left to fill the empty rooms. It was a place of familiarity, of warmth, and of safety. Even in the depth of his despair that even Makoto couldn’t heal, it had offered serenity, a place where he could curl up and cry without judgement. His home in Iwatobi was everything to him, and having to lose that after being a part of him for so many years was painful. 

He supposed he shouldn’t assume that parents who hadn’t lived with him in years would understand him. Distance did a lot of things. Disconnection was one of them. 

But Makoto did. He understood Haru’s feelings without the need for words, tenderly petting back black hair with feathering fingers as he listened silently. Haru could feel the deeply needed warmth seeping off those fingers and into his system. There weren’t enough in the worlds to describe how thankful he was for it. 

“Yeah. Mom, I get it.” Haru murmured softly, closing his eyes. “I know we can’t keep it.” Saying them himself was enough to make his stomach feel sick. He had heard them enough from his mother. Actually having to utter them himself just made it worse. 

“Thank you for understanding, Haruka.” Despite her words, his mother still sounded troubled. “This is hard for all of us. But as your father says, it must be done.” 

After a short round of goodbyes and miss you’s, a way too familiar conversation he was used to having when talking to his parents, and with the knowledge that complete strangers were going to be living in his house in a couple of very short weeks, Haru ended the call and hung his arm over the couch, phone falling to the floor. 

Miserably, he buried his face into Makoto’s leg. 

He didn’t want to give it up. 

He wanted to run home to Iwatobi right now and stake his claim on what was rightfully his, chain himself to the door if he had to. But that was childish and stupid and he had a presentation tomorrow so he settled for sulking into Makoto instead. 

Haru was allowed to do that, right? Sulk? Perhaps he was being a bit of a drama queen, getting all upset because his parents were selling their own property. It’s not like he owned any part of it.

But they hadn’t lived there. He had. 

They hadn’t been there for the days of playing shogi with his grandmother and fireworks with the Tachibana’s and sleepovers with his friends and spending days of doing nothing with Makoto. They didn’t cook at that stove. They didn’t snuggle under the kotastu in winter. They didn’t even know the brightness of the fireflies that came in the summer. How could it possibly be hard for them when they weren’t _there_?

And that bathtub. God he was going to miss that tub so freaking much. Haru groaned. 

“Makoto do you have a chisel?” Or perhaps a jackhammer would work better. He wasn’t very choosy at the moment, really. Anything would suffice. 

“What for?” Haru turned his body around so he could look at him. 

“I want to rescue my bathtub.” Despite being at least 75% serious Makoto laughed, and Haru scowled in response . Attempting to amend himself Makoto chose to pull Haru up into his arms, snuggling him to his chest. 

“I’m sorry Haru.” Makoto held him close. “I shouldn’t laugh. I know that house means a lot to you.” Haru mindlessly pulled at the fabric of his boyfriend’s plaid shirt. 

“I don’t want them to sell it.” He whispered almost tragically, as if he was about to give up something far more brilliant than a house. To him perhaps it was. 

“I know you don’t.” Makoto leaned in to kiss him on the forehead. “When is the other family supposed to move in?” 

“The end of the month.” Makoto looked thoughtful for a moment, resting his chin on the top of Haru’s head. 

“Do you want to go home this weekend?” Haru blinked at him. 

“…Why?” 

“Well, my mom mentioned something about me coming home for my birthday the weekend before, and since we haven’t been home for a really long time I’ve been considering it.” Haru tried not to think too hard about how Makoto had included him in his thoughts of going back to Iwatobi but ultimately failed, heart going pitter-patter against his chest.

“What do you think? We could spend some time with Nagisa and Rei too, and visit your house. I won’t overlook you dismantling the bathroom, but I think I can manage letting you at least say goodbye.” 

“I will have to stay with you…” he said quietly. All the furniture in his house has been gone for a while, ever since his parents had decided to sell the place. 

“Cause that will be a problem.” Makoto laughed, his eyes alight. “You know my family loves you, Haru. I’m sure Ren and Ran would be ecstatic if they learned you were staying overnight. Mom will probably end up cooking mackerel. Oh god, I should warn you. Dad’s in this… Dad phase where he won’t stop making jokes about every-“ 

Haru pulled his words to a standstill, kissing him gently on the mouth. 

“Let’s go home.” He smiled gently. “I want to see everyone again.” 

In all his pouting he had completely forgotten that he had more than one home to go back to. His house had structure and memories. The Tachibana’s had family. 

 

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The airport was crowded, and Haru couldn’t help but huff in annoyance as he and Makoto slowly made their way through the jumbled traffic. The problem with Iwatobi? It was a place for old people to live. Many of the people around them were at least over 65, shuffling in their slippers and dragging their suitcases behind them as if they had all the time in the world. 

Well they for one didn’t. They had plans to meet Nagisa and Rei at Samezuka academy in about forty minutes. At the rate they were going, it was going to be well over an hour before he got to see them again. 

Yet, by some miracle, they were still able to arrive mostly on time. Some lady had previously forgotten her bag on the train, and so departure time had been put back for them to help her find it. That allowed Haru and Makoto _just_ enough time to slide through the doors of the train right before they closed. 

Going back to Samezuka was a bit… strange to say the least. Not just because they weren’t high school students, but because they weren’t even alumni of the school. Still, it couldn’t be helped. Even after Haru, Makoto, and Rin had left, Nagisa, Rei, and Nitori had kept in touch and decided to continue the Iwatobi and Samezuka joint practices. It was nice, especially since they couldn’t use the outdoor pool in the winter. Haru had been informed about this many, many times. 

Signing in at the front desk, they walked the semi-familiar path to the gymnasium where everyone was waiting. 

“Haru-chan, Mako-chan!” Before their eyes could even adjust to the lighting inside the pool area Nagisa was on them, bonking the three of their heads together as he pulled them into a hug. Rei was quick to join their pile, and all four of them tightly embraced each other as if it had been years since they had last spoken. “I missed you guys!” 

When they pulled away, Haru became aware of the curious glances looking their direction. Though he recognized some as previous members of Samezuka, Nitori and Momo were the only two he knew by name, many of the faces were unfamiliar to him. He and Makoto had met them once before, when they had come home last summer, but it was nothing worth remembering. It was a bit too surreal to know that these unfamiliar people were considered the Iwatobi swim team. Haru had to admit it was a little bittering to know he no longer could call himself that. 

Ignoring that for now, Haru managed to offer a small smile and ruffled Nagisa’s hair gently as the blonde bounced on his toes excitedly, practically mewling for his attention like some kind of puppy. Makoto did much the same with Rei, patting him on the shoulder alongside that bright smile of his. 

“Nanase-kun, Tachibana-kun.” Nitori greeted them with a bow, and Haru and Makoto inclined their heads kindly in response. To his side stood Momo, eyeing them up with those bright gold eyes of his. “It’s great to see you both again!” 

“You’ve gotten taller, Nitori-kun.” Makoto praised. Haru, who had been a bit preoccupied with staring at the pool, looked over to analyze him himself. It seemed Makoto was right. As a third year, Nitori seemed a bit more developed, standing a bit taller with broader shoulders and a more confident air to him. Being a captain must have boosted him up in more ways than one. 

“Y-yeah!” Nitori blushed, his gray hair bobbing on his head. “I grew a couple of inches over the summer! Now I’m almost as tall as Momo-kun.” Haru was all too familiar with that and how it felt to compete with an underclassmen in terms of height. He couldn’t help but side-eye Rei. 

“Thanks for letting us come today.” Makoto inclined his head slightly again. “We know it’s a bit weird.” 

“Nonsense!” Nitori shook his head. “The both of you are special cases. You’re more than welcome here.” Nagisa grabbed onto Haru’s arm. 

“You guys will be swimming too, right?” Haru’s eyes lit up at the word.

“Of course.” 

“Don’t worry, Nagisa. We brought our suits.” Makoto gestured to the bags they had dropped to the floor in their hug. Both Rei and Nagisa were beaming at this. 

“Yay!” Nagisa turned around to face the members of their swim team. “Listen up, you scamps! The four of us are going to show you a proper relay!” A couple eyebrows raised at being called ‘scamp’, but nonetheless they all looked pretty stoked. “Be ready to take some notes!”

Momo, who had been staring at the entire exchange with a bored look suddenly pointed his finger at Makoto, his stance defensive. “I won’t lose to you!” 

“Momo-kun!” Nitori was quick to scold, yet Makoto was only surprised for a second before giving a devilish smile. For someone as gentle as Makoto, something like that always came off as unexpected. It made Haru’s heart go _ba-thump_.

“Even if it’s not a match I won’t hold back.” This seemed to be what Momo wanted to here, a bright grin stretching across his face. 

“You better not. I’ve been training for this rematch since that last relay!” 

“Now now Momo-kun…” Nitori pat him on the shoulder in hopes of calming him down. His facial expression showed he was far too used to this. Thinking of Nagisa, Haru couldn’t help but feel for him. “At least let them change first. Kaneki-kun?” A black haired kid who stood towards the back poked his head up. “Can you take them to change, please?” 

“H-Hai, Nitori-Sempai!” 

“It’s fine.” Haru shook his head, grabbing onto his pants buckle. “I already changed.” Well, more accurately slept in… but was there really a difference? His jeans fell to the floor with a _thunk_. Nagisa was laughing. Newer students blushed. Makoto just hid is face in the palm of his hand as Haru flew his shirt to the air. 

“Haru-chan lets swim!” Nagisa grabbed onto Haru’s wrist in excitement, tugging him along. Haru needed very little goading from the blonde to join him in a run, the two nearly sprinting to get to the water. 

“Nagisa-kun, don’t run!” Rei shouted, looking perplexed. Here they were supposed to be exemplary captains for their team. Instead Nagisa was running about like he was twelve. To be honest, the team had to be used to this by now. 

“I do what I want, Rei-chan!” Nagisa fist-punched towards the ceiling. 

“Ah, guys wait for me!” This time it was Makoto’s voice calling out. Normally Haru would have felt bad about leaving Makoto behind, but the water was messing with his senses. There was nothing more he wanted than to get into the pool as fast as possible. He hoped Makoto would understand. 

“Hurry up Makoto!” Haru called back, only to separate his hand from Nagisa and launch his feet forward, diving perfectly into the water. Those not used to it were gripped with awe.  
Here, in the water where he swam happily in sakura petals and burned with fire in his races against Rin, a switch kick-started and Haru was moving rapidly through the water, passion ignited within his heart. His head glided to the surface and Haru’s hands slithered out, graceful strokes pulling him through the water like nothing. 

He didn’t go his fastest- this wasn’t a competition after all and he wasn’t wearing goggles. Instead Haru swam with a flow, letting the water guide him as if he were in some kind of stream. Though they didn’t bother him as much as they used to, it was rather nice not having to be timed for once. Swimming at his own pace still had its own feel that competition could never give him. Relaxation. 

When Haru finished a couple of laps he stopped to catch his breath, only to look up and see Makoto bending down with an offered hand. 

“I can’t believe you dived in without me.” Makoto pouted, though the sincerity of it wasn’t really there. He looked like he was ten seconds from breaking out into a grin. 

“You took too long.” Haru shrugged, reaching up to grab his hand firmly. With practiced effort Makoto pulled him out of the water flawlessly, hands lingering as Haru stood beside him. 

“Mako-chan, you’re ready!” Happy, Nagisa pulled out of the water himself and walked over to splat his wet hand right against Makoto’s bicep. “Great! Rei-chan?” he looked over to see his boyfriend walking over, Rei adjusting the goggles on his forehead. 

“Fumi-kun, Kei-kun, Masato-kun, and Takeo-kun said they’re ready too.” The four boys in question approached at their names. 

“We won’t go easy on you, Nagisa-sempai.” One of them grinned, stretching his arm. 

“You guys won’t be the only ones teaching a lesson. I’ve been practicing my butterfly.” Rei looked so happy at this. The light in his eyes could probably rival the sun. Haru couldn’t help but be a bit proud of him. From having to be taught to now teaching himself, Rei had gone so far in just three years of swimming. 

“Ahh, I’m so excited!” The third danced on his feet, practically humming. “Nagisa-sempai, if we win can we go get ice cream?” The look on Nagisa’s face was clearly a yes. Haru doubted the aftermath of the race would have any impact on this decision. 

“Don’t go easy on me.” The last one finally looked at Haru. “I may not be your level, but don’t be treating me like a kid. I won’t forgive you.” A bit surprised, Haru met his fiery eyes. 

“I don’t plan to.” 

“Here that, Rei-chan? Looks like the munchkins think they can beat the four of us! Let’s show them what their sempais can do!” 

Standing in a relay line with Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei again was like a dream come true, and as he stood behind Rei, watching him fiddle with his hair-cap, Haru couldn’t help but let a smile slip through his lips. 

He had missed this feeling. There was just something so _warm_ about being able to stand here with the three of them, to gaze at their backs and watch them dive into the pool one by one.  
Makoto’s dive was as strong and magnetic as usual, his back muscles pulsing against the water in an aggressive dance that made Haru’s heart leap. He always looked so passionate in his back crawl, putting his all into each and every stroke of the arm. Makoto was swimming the least out of all of them, school taking up much of his time, but here that fact wasn’t shown. He was just as strong as the rest of them. 

Nagisa had definitely improved on distancing his dive from the pedestal, and Haru couldn’t help but widen his eyes, impressed, that someone so small could leap so far. He put it in the back of his mind to praise Nagisa later. It was something that he had struggled with way back in elementary school, and to see him succeed this much, Haru wanted to be sure to tell Nagisa he was proud of him. 

Rei, thank god, had lost the unfortunate habit of his goggles slipping moments after entering the water. Maybe it was because the water had finally accepted him. Haru _had_ put in a good word for him. His speed had improved since last time as well, Haru noticing that his arms repelled the water a little bit faster, his feet kicking a little bit smoother. 

On Rei’s return back to him, Haru’s heart was thumping, his legs automatically putting himself into position. He was excited to be able to swim for all of them again, to be able to use his talent for nothing but them. Nothing felt more free. 

Haru was jumping half a second after Rei’s fingers touched the wall, arching his back and diving with perfect curve into his aquatic world. The submersion was electric and Haru surged forward in its shock and gracefully broke the surface, arms pumping against the water as he met little resistance. 

To his surprise, his freestyle opponent wasn’t far behind. 

This kid was definitely not Rin and wasn’t Hachiro either. He didn’t start any flames. But there was something there, some kind of feeling that sparkled. Whatever it was, Haru wanted to treat it with care. He would swim his hardest as he had promised. 

Needless to say they won the relay. To be honest, it was to be expected. What, with Haru working on becoming pro, and them all having been able to make it to nationals, nobody could really be all that shocked. What mattered was that they all tried their hardest, and that all of them could gain some experience purely by watching.

Still, even with that all in mind the four of them were a bit over-emotional about the whole thing, months having passed since the last time they could properly swim together. 

Moments after Haru was pulled out of the pool by Makoto the four of them were all swept up into another giant hug, Nagisa and Rei looking like they were about to burst into tears. Several bouts of “miss yous” from all of them resounded around the room, and Nagisa professed his love for Haru and Makoto at least three times. 

The whole time a tough knot of emotion pulled in Haru’s throat and he had a tough time swallowing it down. 

Thank god Makoto could read him like a book and was able to speak his feelings for him, making promises to come back home more often so they all could be together. 

Many more times. 

Haru wanted to swim with them forever. 

He hoped that Nagisa and Rei understood that, even if he couldn’t find the right words to say it to them. 

After their little breakdown of sorts, they raced against Samukza’s relay team, this time the times cutting much closer than it had before. This was to be expected, especially since the Iwatobi swimmers were still learning while those from Samezuka had much more experience. In the end, however, Haru still was able to race past their freestyle swimmer, earning yet another jump hug from Nagisa. 

Momo looked a bit upset but took it with a smile anyway, promising Makoto as if he was his nemesis that he would find the strength to beat him someday. Whatever that meant. 

By now many of the Iwatobi swimmers were looking at him like a god, and several of them started asking for pointers. Blushing a bit, Haru nervously tried his best to advise them. 

He could tell that Rei had become a big influence on the team. Several of them called his swimming beautiful. Haru disagreed. He was just swimming free. 

 

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“Onii-chan! Haru-chan!” They weren’t even halfway to the door of Makoto’s home when it opened, two very excited twins throwing the door to the side and launching at them both, latching onto their necks like monkeys. Haru caught Ren with an umph noise, though still squeezing tightly at the pleasant hug that greeted him. 

“Hey you guys!” Makoto smiled, laugh mingling right in with their giggles. He pat his sister’s head warmly. Haru gave the same gentle touch to Ren. “We missed you too!” 

“Jeeze you two, let them get into the house first.” Came the tease of Mrs. Tachibana, who stood at the door with a smile that could rival her sons. More than likely she heard the twin’s shouts and came running over herself. 

“Mom!” If Makoto had a tail it would definitely be wagging. He let go of Ran, who then quickly latched onto Haru’s arm, and ran up to hug her. 

“Hello sweetie.” She brightly swayed them where they stood, giving a quick peck on the cheek. “Oh, how I missed you! I’m glad you two made it home safely.” 

“The plane ride went pretty smoothly, right Haru?” At his name Haru stood up, making his way over to the two with the twins in tow. 

“Yeah. Once we took off, at least.” Makoto did fine on a plane once they were flying through the air and wasn’t even bothered when they landed. It was take off that he was squeamish at. Haru’s hand had pulsed for a very long ten minutes after liftoff, and he had made sure to let Makoto know it. 

Mrs. Tachibana smiled knowingly while Makoto looked away with a guilty look. In her sons silence Mrs. Tachibana took the oprotunity to pull Haru into a gentle hug, giving him a sweet kiss on the temple. 

“It’s good to see you too, sweetie. Makoto hasn’t been too much trouble for you, I hope?” Haru shook his head, subconsciously pressing into her warm embrace. Just like Makoto she had this sort of orbit that pulled him in, giving a home in the warmth of her touch. 

In so many ways, Makoto definitely took after his mother. 

“No, he’s been a good boy.” Haru smirked. “For the most part.”

“Haru!” Makoto whined, looking as if he had just been tattled on. Haru just gave him a teasing look while Mrs. Tachibana pat him on the head affectionately. 

“Well come come, boys. It’s cold out here and both your heads are still wet. Let’s get inside already!” Pulling the door open farther she ushered Haru and her children inside the warm house, pictures on the wall already smiling at their entrance. 

Here Haru and Makoto kicked off their shoes and slipped off their jackets, the sweet smell of dinner warming their cheeks and rumbling their empty bellies. 

“So, for your birthday.” Mrs. Tachibana clapped her hands together. “Since were celebrating it tonight, I thought we could eat your favorite for dinner and then open presents after. Ren and Ran worked together and-“

“We made you a cake, Onii-chan!” Ran interrupted her mother, pouncing on her big brothers arm. 

“Yeah! It’s chocolate with chocolate frosting and chocolate sprinkles and it looks so yummy!” Ren added, joining his sister. 

“Sounds amazing!” Makoto praised, bending down to hug them both. “I can’t wait to eat it.” The twins looked thrilled. 

“In the meantime,” Mrs. Tachibana placed her hands on her hips. She clearly had a look that said _no cake before dinner or else_ to her three sweet-toothed children. Haru, not a big fan of sweets, was exempt from the stare. “Why don’t you and Haru-kun go get settled in upstairs. I had your father pull out the futon for you already. Dinner shouldn’t be more than 45 minutes.” 

“Okay.” Makoto nodded, releasing his pouting siblings to stand up. Together they grabbed their bags and made for the stairs in the living room, the twins attempting to follow but being scolded by their mother. 

“Mom no fairrrrrr.”

“We want to spend time with Onii-chan and Haru-chan!”

“You will have plenty of time for that after dinner. At least let them settle down first.” 

Makoto’s room was about the same as Haru remembered, albeit a bit more airy with most of his stuff sitting back in Tokyo. The walls still were hung up with some of his favorite posters of his favorite TV show, a kitty calendar still sitting on December of last year, and a few pictures his mother had framed during his absence. With a bit of pride Haru noticed that one of them was a picture of him and Makoto at graduation, the two of them hugging tightly with heads bonked together affectionately. It had been a very heavy day, and after the ceremony he and Makoto couldn’t help but cling together as they were filled to the brim with the day’s emotions. 

The futon in the middle of the floor _did_ at a bit more sense of space, however, and made the empty desk and closet seem a bit more comfortable. Haru tread around it carefully as he dropped his stuff against the wall. He wondered if he would actually have to use it. Quite honestly he had hoped he could just sleep on the bed with Makoto. 

Sighing, Makoto back-flopped onto his bed with exhaustion. 

“It’s been such a long day.” He complained, limbs flailing mindlessly. “I could take a nap, quite honestly.” 

“Yeah.” Haru wondered over to him, laying against the bed on his stomach. He’d deal with his stuff later. “Let’s do it.” 

“Hmm.” Makoto hummed with a smile, playing with a loose strand of Haru’s hair. “We might miss dinner though.”

“You really want that cake, don’t you?” Haru smirked, scooching closer. 

“ _I dooooo!_ ” Makoto whined, eyes closing tightly. “It’s like… three layers of chocolate. It sounds like a heavenly coma right now.” 

“Plus Ren and Ran made it for you?” He teased Makoto’s nose with a light pinch. 

“Yeah, there’s that too.” Makoto opened his eyes with a twinkle. “Unlike me they somehow did not inherits dad’s affinity for cooking.” 

“You’re just cursed.”

“Mm. Luckily Haru’s a good cook. Otherwise I’d probably starve to death someday.” 

“I’ll keep you alive and healthy.” Haru promised, leaning closer and giving him a kiss on the lips. When he pulled away Makoto was blushing, cheeks dashed with pink. “What?” 

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just… It’s our first kiss in Iwatobi, isn’t it? And in my old room to boot.” Makoto chuckled softly. “It kind of feels like we’re teenagers again…”

“Makoto you’re still 18.” Haru deadpanned, but smiled afterwards anyways. He never would have thought a day would ever come where he’d be kissing Makoto in his bed. It was a pleasant change of fate that he was glad to have been given. 

“Well, yeah I suppose.” Makoto rolled onto his side and propped his elbow up to lay his head against. “It’s kind of fun to imagine what life would have been like if we would have started dating in high school. Holding hands as we walked to and back from school. Going over to your house for study dates.”

“We did that, though…” I mean, it hadn’t really been a date back then, but Makoto had been over quite often to work on homework. It was less distracting when you didn’t have rambunctious twins running about. Makoto just laughed, however, as a mischievous grin overcoming his lips. 

“How about doing naughty things while my parents sat down stairs? Always that threat of getting caught… the twins could barge in at any moment… Mom might come up with some snacks because she thinks we’re ‘studying’…” Haru unconsciously licked his lips. 

“That is an interesting idea…” His response was pathetic, but it was all he could say in the heat of the moment, his gaze now lingering a bit too long at the V of Makoto’s shirt. Laying down didn’t really help situations, the fabric having fallen down to reveal what normal was hidden. “But you’re so loud, they’d hear you anyways.” 

Makoto pouted, opening his mouth to respond, but then closed it, instead reaching out and pulling Haru closer by the waist. 

“I can’t help it when it’s Haru.” He finally replied. “I’m too happy.” Haru’s ears burned at his words. To be honest, he _liked_ that Makoto was loud, and so was not about to condemn him for it.

Instead Haru decided to switch to a different topic, one that had been bothering him the past couple of days. 

“Makoto, about your family.” Haru started, picking at the comforter to try and calm his nerves. “Should… should we tell them about us?” Makoto wasn’t nearly as shocked about the question as Haru had expected him to be. Perhaps he had also been thinking about it as well. That was comforting, at least. 

“Do you want to?” he whispered, whisking away some of Haru’s bangs. 

“I feel like…” Haru bit his lip, a little embarrassed. “Keeping it from them would be like telling a lie. I don’t like the idea of lying to them. They’re… family, you know? We shouldn’t keep something so important a secret. B-but if you’re not ready for that,” Haru added hastily, because these weren’t his parents and his revelation after all. He would only do what was comfortable for Makoto. “Then that’s okay. Whatever you want to do, Makoto, I’ll do it.” 

“Haru…” Makoto kissed his forehead softly. “Of course I want to tell them. If you’re okay with it, then let’s do it.”

“You’re sure?” To be honest, he was nervous about it. He valued the opinions and wishes of the Tachibana’s as much as he did of his own parents and Rin, Rei, and Nagisa. They were like his second family, and it would mean so much to know that they accepted him with their son. More than that, he wanted to know that their love would not stop coming once they revealed they were together. It was a scary thought, though, to know something like that _could_ happen. It always turned his tummy into knots. 

“Yeah.” Haru took a deep breath at his boyfriends reply, outlining Makoto’s toes with his own. “Nervous?” 

“A little.” It’s not like he was going to feint confidence when Makoto could read him like a book. 

“It’ll be okay.” Makoto traced gentle circles on his hip. “I can’t see them not accepting us. And well, if they don’t… then we will just have to give them some more reasons why they should.” Haru’s heart filled with warmth at that. 

“I love you Makoto.” Haru whispered quietly. He always filled him with hope and dashed any fears that came his way. Like an angel of the earth Makoto was always there to fill him with beautiful light, and Haru loved him for it. 

“I love you too.” Makoto leaned in for a meaningful kiss, only to tear his lips away when the sounds of his siblings echoed through the upstairs hallway. 

“Onii-chan, Haru-chan, lets play Mario Kart!” Ren and Ran’s shouts reached them mere seconds before they had actually made an appearance, streaking into the room with remotes already in hand. Apparently Mrs. Tachibana hadn’t been able to rein them in in the end. 

The four of them became one big pile on the bed as the two launched themselves from the carpet, and then _someone_ \--Makoto—decided a tickle-fight in this instance was needed. Soon they were all in giggling fits, Makoto tickling the feet of Ren and the side of Ran and then actually _daring_ to attempt to tickle Haru as well. 

It was so on.

Teaming up with the twins, Haru launched a vengeful counterattack that had Makoto dying from laughter, his words splutters as he tried to convince them to stop. Haru was a bit too bitter to listen, considering it payback for when they had carved pumpkins. Ren and Ran were very helpful at pinning the orca’s arms down while he executed his revenge. 

The problem with small children? They were very quick to turn on you. 

To be honest, Haru didn’t mind it _that_ much. This house was always filled with so much love, and he was happy just to be a part of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been one of the easier chapters for me to write, especially because I'm in love with writing Makoto's family.  
> I hope you guys are excited for some fluffy Tachibana interactions _because i sure am_! 
> 
> They're all just so precious and I may or may not be a little bitter of how much Haru was sort of neglected by his own parents. I could rant about it, but I won't. Who has time for that? 
> 
> He just needs this fluffy family, okay!? Also fluff with Nagisa and Rei is coming up too~ 
> 
> Also, I've been meaning to do this like chapters ago, but I do have a tumblr! If any of you want to chat about Makoharu stuff, free stuff, or anything at all really, feel free! I go by Dreamingwithwings, same as on here. 
> 
> Until next time my doves! 
> 
> (p.s. that kid was purposely named Kaneki. Tokyo ghoul has a very broken fandom right now and I needed something to make myself feel better. T.T )


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could give you all a whole list of excuses as to why this has come out so late, but i figured it would just be better to get straight to the chapter, yeah? 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy and I promise there will be more frequent updates for this fic.

No matter how hard he tried, Haru still couldn’t wrap his head around how _competitive_ the Tachibana family could be. It was all sweet smiles and generous gestures until one of them was placed into a game and then they just became wild and completely ruthless. He would have liked to blame it on society or something except for the fact that _the parents were the exact same way_. Apparently their competiveness was _hereditary_. Haru really didn’t mind if he won. Losing with some dignity, however, would have been nice. To this day he still won’t play a game of poker with any of them. His own parent’s stance was much the same. 

Makoto and Ran had the worst of it, the two of them often aiming to try and take down the other in a fit for dominance. It wasn’t even that they felt the need to win exactly, but they had to play as if the world might end if they didn’t put 110% into it.

This was Makoto and games to a T. The orca himself was never a sore loser. If it ever came down to either you winning or killing the both of you for a draw, however, hell yes Makoto would freaking do it. Haru supposed it was that drive of Makoto’s, always trying to put effort into everything. He personally found that exhausting, but he couldn’t help but admire the quality in him. 

Still, after the sixth time of being knocked off the racetrack savagely by one of the Tachibana children yet again, Haru quit and tossed the controller aside, narrowing his eyes towards Makoto. He was given a sweet look, but Haru just shook his head. As far as he was concerned, Makoto was dead to him right now. You couldn’t exactly pretend it wasn’t you when the screens were sitting right next to each other. 

Leaving the dejected siblings behind-

“Haru-chan you can’t leave!”

“I’ll stop hitting you with things Haru I promise!”

“Haru-chan you have to be Luigi so we can stay sets!” 

-he wandered to the kitchen, where he found Mrs. Tachibana busily stirring at food on the stove. 

“Need any help?”

“Oh, Haru-kun! I thought you were busy with the others playing a game.” 

“Talk to your children about that.” Mrs. Tachibana smiled at him, knowing pretty well why she would be told that. “I think I’ve done enough cliff-diving for one evening.”

“My babies are ruthless.” The pride on her face was obvious. “Well, if you want to help I certainly won’t turn you away! Can you go get me the rest of the carrots from the fridge?” 

Not that he would go screaming it across rooftops, but Haru secretly loved cooking beside Mrs. Tachibana. It was a lot more fun when he didn’t have to worry about the person beside him burning the food even if he so much as glanced away. With his own mother being a very minimal cook and his father knowing next to nothing, Haru got most of his cooking knowledge from his Grandmother. Tied with matching aprons, he and his grandmother had cooked many meals together, Haru learning many special cooking secrets that he still held very close to this day. When she had passed he found comfort in cooking beside Mrs. Tachibana instead, who not only welcomed him with open arms, but taught him a few tricks and recipes herself. He liked to think it was something special for her too, what with her entire family being culinary deprived and all. 

Together they whipped up Makoto’s birthday meal of green curry in easy teamwork, the whole time making idle chit-chat of Haru’s school life and her whacky adventures in raising twins. While Haru complained about the English language and discussed his current workout routine, Mrs. Tachibana told him quite the story on how Ren somehow managed to infiltrate a chipmunk into his elementary school. 

They were working on the last aspects of dinner when Mr. Tachibana arrived home, giving Haru a pleasant greeting of hello and complimenting them on the deliciousness of what was about to be their feast. Haru busily set up the dishes on the table as Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana greeted each other with a smile and a kiss before he went off to greet his son and to get dressed into more comfy clothes. 

“Need any more help?” Haru asked once the plates were all set, glasses already all filled with milk. 

“I think that’s about everything.” Mrs. Tachibana smiled at him, reaching down to put what was on the stove to a simmer. “Do you think you can go get the children?” 

Haru nodded in response, glancing at the cooked food for a moment with satisfaction before heading out towards the living room. He found it rather amusing that his own boyfriend was considered one of the “children”. Upon entering, he was greeted with quite the sight. 

Makoto sat on the couch, hunched over with a face incredibly focused. Well, Haru supposed it would have to be. Because Makoto was in the lead, both Ren and Ran stood on either side of him, pressing their backs against his sides to try and make him mess up. 

“Onii-chan stop cheating!”

“ _I’m cheating!?_ ” 

Amused, Haru felt slightly bad for interrupting their game. That was until the sting from his earlier decimation made a comeback. He silently hoped the two would drive him off the edge.  
“Dinner’s ready.” He informed, stepping forward. 

“Okay Haru we’ll be there in a- a minute!” Makoto replied, totally distracted. Haru made a hmphing noise. Walking over, he reached across the couch and pressed his fingers against the back of Makoto’s neck. So focused, this completely startled him to the point of jumping. The twins flew with him, tumbling off the couch and somehow managing not to spin their karts out of control. Makoto wasn’t so lucky. Haru _happened_ to pick a time where Makoto was about to make a turn and ended up flying right off the cliff. Oops. Sweet, sweet payback. 

“Yes!” Ran fist-bumped to the air, bolting passed him and smacking Makoto right off the cliff yet again. 

“No no no!” Makoto cried, exasperated. His head fell back, hair brushing against Haru’s fingers. A pair of puppy eyes looked at him. “That was cruel, Haru.” Haru didn’t even feint an apology. He pat Makoto on the forehead. 

“I said dinner was ready. Consider it retribution.” 

“But I was in _first_!” 

“If you start moving now- oh never mind.” Haru watched as the last racer zoomed past Makoto and the big 12 popped up in the corner. Makoto made a whimpering noise.

“Yes I won!” Ran began doing a little dance down in her spot on the carpet. “Ha, now you have to do whatever we want, Onii-chan!” She jumped up into his lap. Ren, who managed to get fourth, joined her.

“Yeah! You agreed, remember!?” 

“I did huh.” Makoto sighed with a look of defeat. “We can discuss payment after dinner though! Come on, Haru and Mom made it so it’s going to be delicious!” Excited like little puppies at the idea of food the two scampered off, leaving Makoto to close out the game and turn off the TV by himself. 

“What were you going to get if you won?” Haru asked, waiting for him to finish. 

“A promise for some alone time tomorrow.” Makoto smirked, making his way after the twins. _Oh_.

Following after Makoto, Haru couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge of regret for making Makoto lose. He had a feeling that any kissing sessions with him were going to have to be very minimal while staying at this house. 

With everyone finally in the kitchen they all took their seats at the table, the smell of the kitchen making all their tummies rumble. As both Mrs. Tachibana and Haru had worked on the dinner, there was great promise in it being delicious. 

True to their talent, on the first couple of bites all eyes lit up like stars, mouths already watering just from the taste of the food. Haru, who didn’t really like to brag about his cooking skills, even had to admit that the two of them had done a pretty good job. 

The first part of the meal was mostly silence, some small talk bouncing around here and there, but a main portion of their focus concentrating on eating. Halfway through his own plate, however, Haru couldn’t help but look at Makoto, thoughts falling back to their conversation they had had back in his bedroom.

A quick return of Makoto’s gaze told him that the brunette was thinking along the same lines as he was. They were only going to be in Iwatobi until Sunday morning, Saturday already pre-planned to be spent with Nagisa and Rei. If they were going to say something to Makoto’s family, it would have to be tonight. Otherwise they would have to wait until their next visit home. As for when that could be, well they really didn’t know. This wasn’t something you could do over the phone. It had to be in person. It was the only right way. 

Taking a deep breath, Haru gave a small nod to Makoto. Thoughts linked, he received a soft smile in return, a gentle press passed between knees. It was the green-light to go ahead. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana.” Haru started, his heart thudding deeply beneath his ribs. “There’s something I-I want to say. Um…” All the Tachibana’s at the table looked at him with stuffed mouths and high interests and he was sure his brain was short-circuiting. 

Biting his lip Haru looked towards Makoto once more, his heart beating twice its original speed. He had said this was what he had wanted, had meant it too. That was a fact that hadn’t changed. But to actually be here in the moment, to feel the tingling sensation of their reveal dancing on his lips was enough to make him falter in nerves. 

Out of a desire for comfort Haru reached over to Makoto and gripped his fingers tightly. To his surprise, and almost relief really, Makoto’s hands were just as sweaty as his were. The nerves weren’t just his. They both shared them. There was something comforting in their touch and the feelings behind it. Confident was perhaps a too strong of a word, but at least now his stomach was no longer protesting his last bite of curry. 

To this Haru gave another light squeeze to Makoto’s hand, trying to give the orca some encouragement as well. 

“What is it sweetie?” Mrs. Tachibana asked politely, dabbing at her lips with her napkin in a delicate pat. Mr. Tachibana responded in a similar action, lowering his fork to focus on them. Perhaps they were able to sense the atmosphere Haru and Makoto were projecting, both their eyes showing encouragement for them to continue. Ren and Ran stopped what they were doing as well, mouths opened in curious little “O’s”. It was at this point that Makoto decided to take the floor. 

“Mom, Dad. Haru and I… We’re dating.” 

The room was dead silent, the walls beating to a rapid pulse. Well, perhaps that was just the blood rushing through Haru’s body, pounding loud enough to make the room feel like it was alive. His gaze was too preoccupied to think clearly. The unreadable expression of the Tachibana’s were filling his lungs with lead. 

Another second passed. The clink of Mr. Tachibana’s fork echoed through the room as he set it down, him and his wife exchanging looks. The twins matched them, looking like they were trying to comprehend what this information meant. 

If silence could kill, Haru would be riddled with bullet holes by now. It was ages before someone spoke. The harsh reality of the clock, however, told that barely even five seconds had ticked by. 

Before she spoke, Mrs. Tachibana smiled. It was warm and sweet, like honey swirled into heated milk. 

“Well isn’t that lovely.” She put her hands together in a firm clap. “See dear? I told you it would work itself out somehow.” 

Folding his arms, Mr. Tachibana looked at his wife. Haru was pretty sure there was a gleam in his eye. 

“As always you were right. Though to be fair I never exactly said it _wouldn’t_.” she shook her head at him. 

“Hmm, I wouldn’t count putting your trust in fate as a firm belief that it _would_.” 

Either way it all worked out.“ He shrugged. “I don’t think we have to bring the money into this.” 

What… was going on? Haru could feel his face heat up from their banter, Makoto’s looking much the same. 

“You’re just saying that because you can’t admit you got it wrong.”

“Mom?”

“It didn’t work out as you expected either, you know. So obviously I don’t have to give you the 1,000 yen-” 

“Dad!?” 

What is it honey?”

“What is it son?” Makoto looked at his parents with an open mouth, completely caught off-guard by their reaction. Haru just stared dumbly, his mind completely blank. Of all the reactions he had expected… this was not one he had put into his top five. 

“Umm…” Makoto attempted to control his expression and cleared his throat, his fingers absently playing with Haru’s pinky under the table. His unsureness eventually resounded into a chuckle. “I don’t… what exactly-?” 

“Makoto,” Mr. Tachibana looked over at them, probably realizing by now that they were _completely_ lost on what had just transpired. Better late than never. “A relationship is like water. In most instances, it’s expected to only go one way: following gravity. But that isn’t always true, is it? There’s evaporation, for instance, that goes the exact opposite direction. Then there rivers, which may perhaps go down, but twist and rise. A drop of water, in turn, may remain forever stationary under particular conditions. That is the natural order of things. Not all particles of water are meant to follow the same path. That doesn’t make them any less amazing and necessary than any other particle of water. Do you boys understand?” Haru could clearly state that that had not made things any easier. 

“What your father is trying to say,” Mrs. Tachibana interrupted, patting his hand as a gentle sign to shut up. “Is that if you and Haru-kun are happy together, then we support you. Both of you. As long as you’re happy, we’re happy.” 

Both Haru and Makoto’s eyes met then, each pair of orbs lit up with vibrant emotion. The feeling tickled all the way to his tummy, down his legs, and enveloped his toes. He could barely stop himself from smiling, a battle he eventually decided he was more than willing to lose. Face warm, Haru strengthened his grip on Makoto.

“T-Thank you very much!” Haru emotionally bowed his head slightly. “I promise to take care of him as best I can.” If forever was possible, he’d do it. 

“Mom! Dad!” Makoto was practically beaming the sun, looking like he was about to burst into tears. He settled for a watery, light-hearted laugh, one that made Haru’s chest rumble with butterflies. “Mmm! We’re very happy! I love Haru-chan very much.” 

A bit red-eared, Haru bit his lip before shyly admitting to feeling the same. After all, if he couldn’t even say it to his second family, then how could the words spoken be considered true? 

“I love M-Makoto as well.” 

Then, as do most event that happen within the Tachibana household, Ren and Ran interrupted the scene with their very own proclamation and words of wisdom. 

“I love Onii-chan too!” Ran raised her hand.

“Me too me too!” Ren waved his arms like some kind of strange dance. “and Haru-chan too!” 

“Say Onii-chan,” Ran looked practically devious now, hiding her mouth behind her hand with squinted eyes. “If you love~ Haru-chan and are dating him does that make him your girlfriend?”

“Ummm…” Makoto scratched his cheek as Haru pretty much combusted into flames, the Tachibana couple across the table both suppressing giggles. “I guess in a way he is?”

“In what way!?” Haru couldn’t believe the conversation had gone in such a way already. “Last time I checked I’m not a girl.” He was pretty sure Makoto was quite aware of this, too. 

“What but that’s not fair!” Ran pouted. Apparently nobody was listening to him. Haru fought back a pout.“I was going to marry Haru-chan! No fair Onii-chan, no fair!” 

Woah woah woah how the _hell_ did this become a conversation about _marriage_? 

Of course, Makoto did nothing but make it worse, appearing almost jealous as he pulled Haru closer to him. 

“Too bad!” Makoto chided, sticking his tongue out like a child. “It’s too late. Haru-chan is mine!” 

Oh my god Makoto _why_? 

“No! I’m using my Mario kart win to take him from you then!” Ran pointed at them both with a determined expression. She looked confident beyond belief, cheeks puffed and eyes glittering. This child was going places. Apparently walking down the aisle to Haru was one of them. 

“What about me!?” feeling left out, Ren pulled at his sister’s sleeve in urgency. “I made the bet too!” 

“You can marry Onii-chan.” 

“Whatttt!?” 

“Sweetheart weren’t you saying not that long ago that you wanted to marry your big brother?” Mr. Tachibana mused. It must have been nice to be supplied with both a dinner and a show. At this Ran stuck out her tongue. 

“Not anymore! Onii-chan is Onii-chan, but Haru-chan can cook! He would make a better wife than Onii-chan.”

“I don’t wanna marry Onii-chan!” Ren protested. “I wanna have Haru-chan as my wife too! You’ll marry me right Haru-chan!?” While Haru was trying to come to terms with the fact he was being labeled a _wife_ , Makoto was trying to deal with something else. 

“My-my siblings don’t want to marry me anymore…” Makoto looked practically distraught at this revelation, his wonderful life of being a doted on older brother shattering before his eyes.

“My my Haru-kun.” Mrs. Tachibana giggled. “You’re very popular. So many of my children are after you this evening.” Haru looked at her with a pleading look, but it just made her laugh louder. Mr. Tachibana ended up reaching out to grab another plate of curry. Whoever said adults were helpful was a goddamn liar. Thankfully Mrs. Tachibana at heart was a kind soul and reached out to help. 

“Now now children. I think we’ve teased Haru-kun and your brother quite enough. Let’s get back to this meal before it gets too cold!” 

This seemed to be enough of an incentive for two growing children, for as soon as she said this they looked down at their plates and quickly began reintroducing their forks to their mouths.

Haru was quite thankful to Mrs. Tachibana for her transition, not sure of how much more embarrassing he could take in one sitting. With a last glance towards Makoto, who was swirling his curry around with a dopey grin, he joined the Tachibana’s in finishing up Makoto’s birthday meal. 

 

 

When it came to gifts, Makoto really was that difficult person to shop for. It wasn’t that he was without interests. He loved many things –swimming, chocolate, cats, the color green. It was just that nothing screamed Makoto. Sure, many things he would claim to like and appreciate, but to actually get those eyes to ignite in pleasurable surprise- it felt like it was a daunting and almost impossible task. 

_“I’ll like anything you get for me Haru!”_ Bullshit. Haru wanted to get it perfect, to make his love show so much Makoto would explode. For the occasion of Makoto being brought into existence, only the best would suffice. 

Because of that, Haru was most envious of Mrs. Tachibana, who seemed to have a talent for knowing exactly what would make him happy. Truly a mother’s intuition was unparalleled.  
After his packages were opened, Makoto was ordered to close his eyes as the twins shared the duty of carrying him his birthday cake. Together they all sang to him, at the end both Ren and Ran surprising Makoto with simultaneous kisses on either cheek.

The cake was certainly a pastry made by the twins, the amount of chocolate frosting and sprinkles clearly showing their creativity as well as their addiction to sweets. Though a perfect amount of sugar for the Tachibana children, for Haru it was a bit too much for him to stomach. If they had had a dog, Haru would have slipped it to him. Instead he settled for Makoto.

“Hot Tea?” Draped in Makoto’s new blanket, of which Makoto had wrapped him up in upon opening (stupid Makoto, knowing when his feet were cold), Haru took his gaze from the cake-smearing fight the Tachibana children currently were having to look up at Mrs. Tachibana. In her hands were two cups of tea, steam rising with the promise of heat.

“Thank you.” Haru said quietly, taking the offered glass and holding it carefully in his hands. 

“No problem sweetie.” Beside him Mrs. Tachibana moved a pillow to the side and took a seat, blowing at her own cup. Haru mimicked her, bringing the rim to his lips and taking a small sip. The taste was a mixture of nutmeg and vanilla with a touch of cinnamon, a perfect tea for the later part of autumn. 

“It’s delicious.” Haru said with gentle smile, taking another drink of it. 

Together they watched with amused expressions as Mr. Tachibana himself got into the fray, glasses askew as he tried to draw a smiley face on Ren’s forehead with the frosting. Beside him giddy with laughter, Makoto managed to draw a poorly-shaped heart onto his sister’s cheek. Both twins seemed against this, using the next opportunity to throw chucks of cake at both the culprits faces. Haru couldn’t help but laugh at Makoto’s expression, the frosting smeared across his cheek and nose while cake dripped off his chin. 

“You know…” Mrs. Tachibana started, leaning back slightly. “When Makoto told me that he gotten a girlfriend all those months ago, I was surprised. He never had showed much interested in dating, always focusing on school and swimming and his friends. I suppose I expected that to just carry on into college.” She looked down at her mug with a slight smile. “Maybe I just didn’t want my little boy to grow up quite yet. A mother’s only young if her children are, you know? Well, I tried to be suportive for my son. I’m sure you did the same.” Mrs. Tachibana reached over and gently shook his foot, eyes affectionate. Haru’s toes curled at the touch. 

“That girl was kind. I spoke to her a couple of times, if just by luck. Hiromi-chan, right?” Timidly Haru nodded, not exactly sure where this conversation was heading. “She was sweet and polite. Very energetic too. I didn’t see anything wrong with her. Yet, she didn’t feel right. Maybe for someone else but… not for my son. “ Mrs. Tachibana said honestly, watching Haru carefully. He tried to do his best in keeping his face still, taking in each and every word she spoke. 

“It’s not that I felt she didn’t treat him right. Perhaps it was just the mother in me but… well… My son is always happiest when he’s with you. I just always figured you’d always be by his side. So when he told me that there was someone else, I was shocked. I never pictured him bringing a girl home to me. It was always, Haru-chan that, Haru-chan this. Was there really someone out there who could bring my child the same amount of happiness? No matter how hard I tried, the only one I could picture beside him was you. Sitting here now, I can see that Makoto felt the same.”

Brightly Mrs. Tachibana beamed as if she had unearthed a priceless gem. “Haru-kun, my son could be interested in girls, boys, or even nobody if suited him. I would love him no matter what. And I feel the same for you. As long as you two are happy and make each other happy, that’s all that matters.” She reached forward and squeezed his hand. “You’re already family as far as I’m concerned. As for someone to love, I don’t think Makoto could pick anybody better.” 

Haru bit his lip, pushing down overwhelming feelings. After hearing such heartfelt and kind words, he couldn’t help but feel a bit choked up. Not only did Mrs. Tachibana support their relationship, it felt as if she had known it was going to happen perhaps even before they themselves did. A strong mother’s intuition indeed. 

“T-Thank you.”

Mrs. Tachibana reached over to tilt his chin, tapping his nose with a finger. 

“There’s no need to thank me, sweetheart. Now come on, drink your tea while it’s still warm.” Haru nodded, bringing the rim back up to his lips, testing the heat of the liquid with his tongue. Luckily the warmth was still there, and he sipped it lovingly. Added with the pleasant feeling he had already circulating throughout his body, he couldn’t have felt any more at ease.  
“I’m glad we came home.” He admitted to her. “I missed being here. He doesn’t say it much, but I know Makoto misses it too.” 

“Both of you are welcome to come back whenever you want. It doesn’t always have to be for a holiday.” From the sound of her voice, Haru felt a twinge of guilt. Just like with Nagisa and Rei, he felt like they might have to come home more often. 

“If you’ll have us.” He tried to offer her a soft smile, hoping that would be enough to make up for their distance. “I’ll try to bring him back before New Year’s, then.” 

“Speaking of holidays,” Mrs. Tachibana took a quick sip of tea. “Any special plans for Makoto’s birthday? A romantic evening perhaps?” she winked with a giggle. Haru immediately blushed in response. 

“I might have a few things in mind.” He made an attempt to clear his throat in hopes that it might clear his blush as well. Not really. At least he tried. “Right now I’m more worried about what to give him. I couldn’t find anything I feel he would like.” 

Mrs. Tachibana pushed a lock of hair from her face, thinking. In the end she gave sweet but not really helpful advice. 

“I’m sure my son would love anything you got for him. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“That’s what Makoto said too.” Haru pouted. To be honest he had hoped she would be able to give him at least a couple of ideas. “But I want it to be special… Not just some random thing I found.” 

“Lesson number one of relationships, Haruka-kun.” Mrs. Tachibana said, setting her now empty cup down. “As long as you put your heart into it, it is special. If you give it to him with love, there’s no way he won’t come to cherish it. It is coming from you after all.”

Haru looked at her for a second, then responded with a gentle nod. 

“I’ll try to keep that in mind. Thank you.” Perhaps there was something helpful in what she said after all. Drinking up the last of his tea, Haru thought that maybe he was trying to think too much out of the box. Maybe he just needed to dive deeper instead. 

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

 

“I don’t really have to sleep on this, do I?” Haru pouted slightly, kicking the futon with his foot. As with the rest of the Tachibana family, when the clock ticked to 11 they had decided to call it a night, climbing the stairs as a pack and dragging two very sleepy twins over their shoulders. Makoto looked over at him with a laugh, sitting with a crossed leg on his bed. 

“I mean if you want to…” Haru scowled towards Makoto’s direction. “But I might get a bit lonely.” He finished. Kicking the futon once more, Haru walked over to sit beside Makoto. 

“Well we can’t have that now can we? You might get afraid of the monster under your bed.” 

“Ahhh, why would you say that right before bed?” Makoto whined, sounding almost half-serious. “Now you have to sleep with me. I don’t think I can manage now. ” 

“Oh shucks.” Haru grinned. “I’ll get the lights.” He bounced onto his toes, heading for the switch as Makoto started pulling back the covers. When he returned in the darkness Makoto was holding the sheets open for him to climb in. 

Haru slid into the blankets happily, wrapping his arms around Makoto’s back as Makoto carefully tucked the blanket over his shoulders. It was nice and warm under the covers and Haru quickly made himself at home, curling his legs in-between Makoto’s and nuzzling into his neck. 

“Comfy?” Makoto asked, hands finding their usual place on his lower back.

“Mm.” Haru nodded, soaking in as much of Makoto as he could. It had been a while since they last got to share a bed together so he was going to make the most out of what he had. To be honest, even if he would have started sleeping on the futon, he wouldn’t have lasted long. “Much better than some stupid old futon.” Makoto chuckled, his breath ruffling Haru’s hair. 

“You used to sleep on it all the time though.”

“Yeah, well I’ve upgraded since then. This newer model is better.” 

“Is that what I am to you now!?” Makoto sniffed, voice suddenly dramatic. “Just a bed for you to lay on!?” 

“Yes.” Haru deadpanned, looking up at him. 

“Haruuuu!”

“Oh quiet.” Haru grinned, pulling Makoto’s pajama pant leg up with his foot and pressing his toes against Makoto’s skin. Immediately Makoto jumped from the chill. 

“Haru, your feet are so cold!” He whined. “You really should wear socks to bed!”

“No way! They’re too constricting. My feet don’t feel free.” With a sigh Makoto grabbed Haru’s feet with his own and attempted to de-thaw them. 

“They’ll really be free when we have to chop them off.” Makoto muttered, but continued to try and get them warm regardless. Too tired to reply Haru just snuggled in closer, listening to Makoto’s heartbeat as it bumped to a steady rhythm.

“Ne… Haru?” Makoto asked after a moment, his voice becoming a whisper in the silence of the room. 

“Hmm?” 

“I’m glad we told them.” Haru nodded into the fabric of Makoto’s shirt. 

“Me too. You might want to watch out for Ran, though. It seems you have some competition.” 

“Don’t be silly.” Makoto cuddled him tight. “Haru-chan’s all mine.” 

“Yeah.” Haru moved up a bit, burying his face into the crook of Makoto’s neck and leaving a light kiss on the exposed skin there. “I am.” 

On that subject the two of them didn’t say anything more, both starting to shut their eyes as fatigued threatened to take them. After all what else could you really say in words about the gratitude one felt when your family accepted who you loved? Love was love. It didn’t need approval to be real. For people to see it, though, and to claim that it existed and to offer support and encouragement, nothing could replace how amazing that felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This family is so precious I just can't... Anyway, hopefully you enjoyed it! Next chapter will be all about Makohau and Reigisa! 
> 
> Until next time, keep on swimming and happy 2016 everyone! Let's fill this year with lots of Makoharu love~


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So somehow a chapter I expected to only be what, 12 pages? turned into 20. Oops. Not really sure how that happened... Anyway, just so you're aware it'll be a bit of a longer read. I think it's completely worth it, though :). 
> 
> This brings this fic officially passed the 100,000 word mark! *throws confetti* Thanks for making it this far with me, everyone! Thats a lot of reading so I'm glad you've stuck around and have enjoyed this fic thus far! 
> 
> Makoharu and precious Reigisa up ahead! Enjoy!

“Ren, Ran! Don’t run!” Two pairs of winter boots scuffed to a sudden stop. 

“Come on Onii-chan, hurry up! You too, Haru-chan!” Bundled up in their jackets with matching cat and dog hats on their heads, the twins looked like two little puffed marshmallows, their impatience showing as they waited at the edge of the street for the other two to catch up. In response to this Makoto just sighed into the cold air, his breath dancing in a small puff of smoke.

“Honestly, these two…” The brunette sniffed, rubbing his nose pink as it started to run. “Where does all this energy come from?” Though silent at his side, burying his face into the warmer part of his jacket, Haru was pretty much questioning the same exact thing.

This morning had abruptly began with a startling crash, Ren and Ran somehow managing to wake up the entire household as they tried- and failed- to make them all a surprise breakfast. Makoto had nearly kicked him out of bed with a yelp, chest heaving in surprise as he sat up and tried to comprehend what had exactly happened. Haru just kind of blinked as he laid in disarray, mind trying to adapt to the sudden change of consciousness. Downstairs they could hear the yells of Mrs. Tachibana.

“What are you two doing!? You might as well have woken up the whole neighborhood! And Look at the kitchen it’s a mess! I thought someone broke into the house your father went and got the bat-!” 

Rubbing sleep from their eyes Haru and Makoto finally managed to disentangle themselves from their blankets and meandered down, just in time to see Mrs. Tachibana patting two tearful twins on the head with a sigh. Her hair was a mess and she was dressed haphazardly in a pink robe, yet she managed a smile as she came to terms with her children’s efforts. To be honest nobody really could be upset for that long, knowing that Ren and Ran were just trying to surprise them all. 

From there it was a constant cycle of excitement. After being served a breakfast of cereal and toast, they were dragged into the living room to watch cartoons, of which Ren and Ran began to bicker over whether or not it was cat-boy or girl-duck who got their head stuck once in a pickle jar in a past episode. Whereas Ren believed the duck would be more willing to stick her head in the jar _“Cats don’t like water Ran!”_ , his sister was firmly stuck on the logic that the duck’s bill wouldn’t fit so the cat must have. _“Just like your fat head!_ ” was her sparkling conclusion. 

Mouths around their spoons Haru and Makoto just sat there immersed in their argument, eventually Makoto leaning over to inform him that he was sure it happened instead to their shark-boy friend. Haru just stared at him. Clearly some people just liked to watch the world burn. 

The bath was maybe his only time of actual silence, though that didn’t last very long either. He was in for probably 20 minutes before soft fists knocked at the door, a pouting Ren on the other side. The tiniest of voices informed him that Ran had roped their big brother into a game only meant for two people, leaving poor Ren all by himself. No person with a heart wouldn’t drain the bathtub after hearing that. 

Grabbing a towel and lightly patting himself down, Haru changed into his clothes for the day and led Ren to play a game in Makoto’s room. They ended up playing Candyland. Of course, this just made him think of the big-sized version from Halloween and of Makoto, all dressed up in that navy officer uniform that clung to his hips and defined his arm muscles. All in all, not a bad picture to start his morning out with. 

About halfway through their game Makoto and Ran joined them, Makoto pouting when he realized that Haru hadn’t dried his hair. At all. 

“You’re going to get sick one day.” Makoto scolded, sitting behind Haru as he ran a towel through the dark locks. Meanwhile Haru contemplated his inability to beat children at board games, setting his candy piece back at the stupid candy cane forest. He could race a 100m freestyle in record time but god forbid he be able to draw a good card from the deck. What was a potential gold metal to the loss of his dignity? 

A sharp tug to his hair brought him back to attention. 

“Are you even listening to me Haru?” Makoto sighed. 

“Sorry what was that?” He asked, looking over his shoulder innocently. Haru had to bite his lip to keep from grinning. Ren and Ran seemed to find it just as funny, both covering their faces to stifle the noise they were making. Even Makoto had to work to keep a smile from wiggling out, just from the pure sass of Haru’s voice. 

From games to wild stories to chaotic jump attacks, the twins kept them ever busy, not leaving them alone for even a second. When it finally came time for them to announce they needed to go pick some things up for tonight, however, Ren and Ran were all pouts, looking utmost betrayed that they were going to be left behind. 

Sitting at the table eating the sandwiches they all had made together, the two made many protests, going as far as saying that both Haru and Makoto were “big meany faces”. 

“You can’t leave onii-chan!” 

“Yeah! You have to stay and spend all day with us!”

“Ren, Ran. You two know we can’t do that.” Makoto smiled apologetically, though his expression remained stern. “We made a promise to our friends. You wouldn’t want us to break that, would you?” 

The responding faces showed that the answer to that was no, both staring at their sandwiches in defeat. Haru, who was coming to terms with the fact that he was so, _so_ weak to the disappointed look of any Tachibana, no matter which one it was, finished taking a bite and turned to the twins.

“You know,” Haru said carefully. “I remember you two making a bet with Makoto yesterday, and if I recall _correctly_ , this big meany face lost.” He jerked a thumb to the party in question. “I’m sure if you asked him to come to the store with us, he wouldn’t be able to say no.” Both pair of eyes lit up at this prospect. 

“He’s right Onii-chan! You made us a promise!” Ran looked up at him with her hands on her hips.

“And we don’t break promises, remember?” Haru had to stifle a laugh at Ren’s words, amazed at the amount of sass the young boys response had. He had trained him well. 

“You are right about that.” Makoto chuckled, chancing a look towards Haru. “It looks like my hands are tied. Sorry, Haru. It looks like they’re coming with.”

“Oh what a shame.” Haru sighed dramatically, as if he hadn’t just spoon-fed them all the idea in the first place. 

“Yay!” The twins both cheered, giving each other a high five. 

So here they were, the four of them strutting the cold streets of Iwatobi as they headed towards the grocery store, two energetic twins leading the way as Haru personally contemplated whether or not it was worth removing his fingers from the warmth of his pocket to reach for Makoto’s hand.

By the time they reached the store he still hadn’t made a direct decision, though he supposed it didn’t matter after that point. With the promise that they would both get to pick out a chocolate bar with good behavior, they all perused through the aisles as Haru pushed the cart and the Tachibana’s worked together to pull things off the shelf. It actually worked out with pretty good teamwork, and soon they were waiting in the checkout line, Haru and Makoto both picking through their wallets to pay for it all together. 

The moment they crossed the store’s threshold the twins were begging for their chocolates, Haru and Makoto shaking their heads with should-have-known smiles before stopping by a nearby bench to pull them out of the plastic bags. 

“What do we say you two?” Makoto asked, holding the chocolatey dessert above both their heads, just out of reach. A wonderful height advantage if there ever was one. 

“Thanks Onii-chan and Haru-chan.” They recited perfectly, gloved hands ripping at the wrapper as soon as they fell in their clutches. It was Haru’s turn to dig into the bag. 

“And what about you Makoto?” he smirked, wiggling a third chocolate bar passed his boyfriends nose. Like a puppy Makoto’s eyes immediately snapped up, following it with a slight sway of his head. “What do you say?” 

“Please grace me with your kindness, Nanase-sama!” Haru nearly fucking dropped the chocolate to the ground, his face blushing like mad at Makoto’s choice of words. Was Makoto trying to kill him?! The brunette had sure gotten cheeky in his later years, spouting out silly things like cat costumes and his freaking last name. True to this Makoto looked rather smug, taking in Haru’s reaction in all its glory. Finding this and his palpitating heart reason enough, Haru turned around with a shake of his head. 

“Nope! Wrong answer.” 

“Wha Haruuuu!” Makoto whined, looking positively crestfallen. 

“Better luck next time, Onii-chan.” 

“Yeah Onii-chan.” Together the twins looked at their older brother with less than sympathetic stares, biting off the corner of their bars in unison. 

“I’ll just have to eat this myself then. Too bad.” Haru started to tear of the wrapper. 

“No that’s mine! Gimmie!” Makoto lunged forward, his left arm circling around Haru’s waist to hold him still while his other tried to grab the chocolate. Caught off-guard Haru made an odd “gwah!” sound, nearly falling forward from Makoto’s added weight. Add that with the touch of Makoto’s hand around him and the closeness of his overall being and Haru was all but ready to cave.  
“I-Idiot!” Haru stammered, trying to keep up his defenses regardless. That all ended, however, when Makoto leaned forward and pressed a small kiss to the lobe of Haru’s ear. It was like a bolt of lightning and brought Haru to life, reflexively pushing the chocolate bar into Makoto’s hand before he could be shot with any more electricity. “J-Just take it, Makoto!” 

With a satisfied grin Makoto did, his cheeks dashed with a little pink themselves but still looking quite confident. Well lucky him! Haru was practically jelly, blood racing through his veins as his skin still tingled with Makoto’s previous presence. 

They had never been so… _playful_ in public before. Hand-holding? That was as tame as a rabbit. Haru could handle that in public. They’d even kissed a couple of times before, like when they said goodbye to each other at the train station or if the atmosphere felt particularly right. Haru didn’t tend to mind because who cared what other people thought anyways? Not him, certainly. But they never really aimed to have an audience, least of all the _twins_. This act of physically touching in public was new and honestly exhilarating, yet Haru couldn’t help but be all flushed about it. 

Embarrassed from his thoughts, Haru squatted on his knees, covering his ears as he stared at the sidewalk. He was so red at the moment, he could cover as a holiday ornament. It was a simple kiss, and just on the ear at that. So why was he making such a big deal about it? Perhaps it was because it had been so sudden, his mentality hadn’t been able to prepare. Then again, he could always chop it up to being because Makoto had touched him. Nothing energized him more than that these days. Even after all these years, Makoto never failed to surprise him. 

“What’s Haru-chan doing?” Ran asked her brother, staring up at him curiously. 

“Just being cute.” Makoto responded with a smile, this clearly appeasing him in every way possible. Hearing this but having nothing to respond with, Haru turned around and narrowed his eyes. 

“Shut up!” He was going to get Makoto back later. Haru could assure that. 

“Come on Haru, we don’t want Nagisa and Rei to beat us, do we?” Grudgingly Haru took the hand that was offered to him and stood up, picking up the bag he had been previously carrying. 

At least this time around he _did_ get to hold Makoto’s hand on the way back.

 

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Walking up to his house when he knew it would be empty was _weird_. It filled Haru with a sense of discomfort, like his link to this house was fading by the second. This would be the last time he would ever get to return here. The final hurrah, as Nagisa had put it. His part in Iwatobi felt like it was coming to an end, and Haru couldn’t help but feel unnerved by that. Change was something he never had been good at. 

Shifting the bag he was holding to his non-dominate hand Haru dug for the key in his pocket, a piece of metal that had been part of his life since he was in middle school. He inserted it into the keyhole and turned, anticipating the emptiness and the loss of his past. 

Instead, when the door swung open, Haru was hit with a brick of nostalgia. Sure it was strange that the furniture was gone. There was no table set up for meals, nor a couch fixed up around the TV. Pictures no longer hung from the walls, there wasn’t any hangers for them to hang their coats, and no carpet on the wood to keep their feet away from the cold, not to mention the thin layer of dust everywhere. And yet, he still felt at home. The lack of things did nothing to stop him from feeling happy at being inside these walls once more. 

Behind him, Makoto flicked on the lights. 

“I’ll go put these in the kitchen.” He said gently, sliding the plastic bag out of Haru’s grip and meandering down the hall. Haru let him go- it’s not like Makoto didn’t know the way, after all- and instead turned the other way, following faded footsteps down an all-too-familiar path. 

He was glad to see that his tub could still sparkle, even without a drop of water in months. Upon entering the bathroom Haru couldn’t help but sit at its ledge and place a careful hand on the porcelain. How many minutes, hours, days had he spent sitting in this very bathtub, wasting away the time until he would be considered normal? Well, he was nearly there. In less than a year he would be 20 and become ordinary, according to the saying his late grandmother had taught him. 

Haru had contemplated that phrase into dust in his daily visits to this very spot. It had been a saying he would chant almost religiously, hoping for a chance to no longer be defined but his innate talent. He had wanted to live without change, to be here in Iwatobi in its safe and stagnant life. Now he was on his way in becoming a pro swimmer in Tokyo. 

Haru smiled, petting the cold edge of his previous world. So much had changed since then. This tub had seen it all. 

It knew of little baby Haru, splashing around in the water with innocent joy and grumpy toddler Haru who threw fit after fit when he was forced to withdraw from his tub. It knew of Swim Club Haru, who may not have splashed around, but still didn’t love the water any less, and of the struggles he dealt with as he tried to figure out what swimming truly meant for him. It knew of the melancholic mess that was middle school Haru, quitting the club without a vocal reason for why and regressing into himself, upset that he hurt Rin, traumatized that it might happen again. It even knew of High School Haru, whose single solace was a bathtub and a brightly-smiled best friend as everything around him seemed to grow dimmer, only to be reawakened and to remember what it meant to be _happy_. He was able to give the water smiles again, to liven it up from its previously tranquil state. 

The tub knew every stage of Haru’s life, and now, Haru supposed, it was time to show it the very last. A grown up Haru. A Haru that no longer had to rely on being able to come back. A Haru that would focus on only moving forward.

“Haru? Oh there you are!” Haru turned his head to see Makoto’s beautiful face standing in the doorway.

“Makoto, do you think we can both fit in here?”

“Huh?” Confusion at his question creased Makoto’s eyebrows. 

“Do you?” Haru pressed, looking up with blue eyes that told he was being serious. Makoto frowned for a minute, thinking. 

“Hmm… Well, it’d probably be a bit tight.” 

“Only one way to find out.” Already taking off his jacket and dropping it to the floor, Haru began to wrap back the cover protecting the inner part of the tub from dust. 

“Haru, we don’t have time for that!” Makoto sigh was exasperated, as if condoning himself for not seeing this coming. 

“Relax I’m not going to fill it.” He offered a hand to Makoto, who was looking more confused by the second but took it anyways, sliding his own jacket off onto the floor beside Haru’s.  
“Brrr it’s cold.” Makoto shivered. Haru nodded in agreement as he helped Makoto step into the tub. It was to be expected since the heat hadn’t been turned on since high school. They were already planning on brining over some mobile heaters Mr. Tachibana had stacked away in the attic. 

After Makoto sat down and pressed his back as far as he could go, Haru crawled in after him, seating himself between Makoto’s legs with his back pressed against his chest. Tight had truly been the right word to describe how it felt to squeeze the two of them in there. Poor Makoto’s legs were too long to lay properly and so he had them up, knees acting like a wall on either side of Haru’s head. Haru decided to copy him, pulling his own knees to himself and placing his palms on top. Makoto was actually unable to fit his arms in comfortably so he settled with displaying them along the rim of the tub, acting as a final circle of defense between them and the outside world. 

The two of them sat there for a second, silence echoing across the tiles. It was a rather comical sight, two adult boys squishing into a one-person tub. He sort of wish he had a camera to capture the moment. 

“You’re right. It’s too tight.” Haru found himself smiling lightly at this news, laying his head back against Makoto.

“Well yeah.” Makoto laughed, adjusting his position a bit. “It’s not really meant for two.” Haru scrunched his nose. 

“Then I can’t have this tub.” he sighed. “I need one that will fit us both.” Though it was strange, to Haru it made perfect sense. His bathtub was a special part of him, and as with this tub that had grown up with him, he needed another tub that would continue on into his future. Makoto, who had only been a part of his present, was now part of that future. It only made sense that the water should grow enough to hold them both. 

“And here I thought I was going to have to stop you from dragging it out of the house.” Makoto leaned forward and laid his chin on the top of Haru’s head, his cheeks a bit pink from Haru’s words. 

“Nah. I forgot to get a chisel.” At this both of them snickered, Haru’s chest filling with a warm feeling. Was this what acceptance felt like? Haru was still down that they were selling the house, but he no longer felt like throwing a fit that would rival his toddler days. Instead he felt… content. Maybe this was his closure, saying goodbye to one of his greatest friends. Perhaps he wasn’t as afraid of the future as he had believed. 

“Hey Makoto…” Haru twisted himself around, grabbing Makoto’s cheeks as the warmness continued to build in his chest. This was actually a pretty amazing feat in itself because he was freezing, touching moment or not. Well, that was Makoto for you. Haru gently kissed him, closing up the distance and reaching behind his neck. Here, during the last time he would probably ever sit in this bathtub, Haru was glad to have Makoto with him.

From then to now time could clearly show the truth. Haruka Nanase had grown up. 

 

 

“Mako-chan, Haru-chan!” Despite not even being 24 hours since they last saw each other, Nagisa jumped Haru and Makoto like it had been months as soon as they opened the door, his tippy toes caressing the paneling as he hung from Makoto’s broad shoulders. Rei, always being the tamer of their kouhai, simply walked in with a sweet smile, a big silver tray in his hands. 

“Makoto-sempai, Haruka-sempai, I hope this isn’t a problem but my mother offered to make some brownies for us.” From Makoto’s expression this clearly was not a problem. 

“Thanks Rei.” Haru nodded, obligating himself to take the tray before it got into the wrong hands. “I have no doubt these will be gone before tomorrow.” Rei clearly agreed with this. 

“Nagisa-kun already stole three so…”

“Rei-chan!” Nagisa pouted, sticking his tongue out. They _are_ for all of us! It’s not really _that_ big of a deal if I eat a couple…”

“It is when you’re not even there yet!” 

“But they are so yummy it would have been a crime to wait!” Rei sighed, showing that this probably hadn’t been the beginning of this conversation. Luckily Makoto was there to diverge them.

“We appreciate it Rei, be sure to thank your mom for us.” He smiled. Together the three of them made for the living room while Haru went to the kitchen to set the brownies with the rest of the food for the night. Then, after a moment of contemplation, Haru grabbed the tea kettle borrowed from the Tachibana’s and filled it with water to boil. Fortunately, though the home’s furniture was gone, the plumbing and electricity was still on. 

To manage the lack of everything else, Haru and Makoto ended up having to borrow quite a few things from the Tachibana household. Dishes, blankets, pillows, even a couple of games for them to play. Living so close really did have its advantages sometimes. 

When the water was hot enough for tea, Haru made it up into four mugs and carefully went to join his friends, the fear of spilling the hot liquid on his fingers dropping his pace considerably. Well, he had to do what he had to do. He didn’t have a tray. 

The design of his living room had been all Makoto’s work, really. Over the years he and his family had hoarded quite a few blankets in the closet, and Makoto had taken full advantage of that, spreading blankets all across the room for a massive layer of comfort. The mismatched comforters did lighten up the room, taking away the fact that the rest of it was pretty barren. For a special touch Makoto had blown up a couple of balloons and stuck them to the ceiling. While Haru had raised an eyebrow at that, Makoto defended himself by saying _“It was a farewell party for the house, wasn’t it!?”_. Haru really couldn’t argue with that, so he let Makoto keep putting them up while he fixed up the heaters. 

“I made us tea.” Haru said upon entering, drawing all three sets of eyes towards his direction. Makoto immediately hopped onto his feet, making his way over to help. 

“Oh thanks Haru-chan!” Nagisa bounced on his knees from where he sat on the floor, taking the mug from Haru with glee. Rei responded much the same at his offered beverage, the two boys not hesitating to press the mugs right against their lips. Haru had figured such a reaction since it was such a cold day and they had had to walk a rather long distance to get here. 

“So Makoto-sempai,” Rei started in-between sips, licking the warm tea off of his lips. “How did seeing your family again go?” 

“It’s been great, right Haru?” Haru nodded. “I’ve really missed being home. Going from living with four people to living by yourself is such a huge change and it’s nice to get back to how it used to be now and then.” 

“Did you do anything special for your birthday?” 

“Well, Haru and Mom made an awesome meal for us. Oh, and Ren and Ran baked me a cake!” His face bloomed with pride as an older brother. “Then we just played around and all talked for a bit. Everybody really liked this blanket I got. Haru wouldn’t even share it with me!” Haru couldn’t help but grin at the statement, knowing that the statement was 100% truthful. 

“Oh! Speaking of which-!” Nagisa piped up, shoving his half-finished drink into Rei’s hands and stumbling to where the two had thrown their bags. 

“Ugh Nagisa-kun!” Rei whined, having nearly spilled the drink all over himself in his sudden possession of it. Either Nagisa didn’t hear him or chose not to, the blonde continuing to dig in his duffle until he jumped up with a glorified “AHA!”

“We have your birthday gift Mako-chan!” Excitedly he flashed them a package wrapped in orange and white polka-dots, a big grin on his face. “I know your birthday isn’t technically until next week and I was going to send it to you but then Rei-chan was all like “just give it to him when he visits home this weekend” and I was all “Oh Rei-chan you’re so smart!” and so here we are and here’s your gift!” The fact that he barely took any breaths as he relayed all this was a feat in itself, Nagisa’s chest lightly heaving as he finally allowed himself a chance to breathe. 

“I figured it would be nicer to see your face when you open it.” Rei added, a small smile on his lips. 

“You two didn’t have to get me anything!” Makoto protested but took the gift from Nagisa anyway.

“Oh shut up and open it, Mako-chan. Jeesh!”Nagisa plopped back down beside Rei, taking his drink back with a swift kiss on the cheek and snuggled right up close to his side. 

After a second of thought Makoto did just that, placing his drink carefully behind him before reaching down to tear off the wrapping paper. 

“Oh Nagisa, Rei!” Makoto cooed, running his finger along the front. It was a picture album, bound in a light green coat and trimmed with white. On the cover was a picture of them from their race at nationals. Inside the first page was an inscription that read We Love You Makoto Tachibana! Rei and Nagisa. “This is lovely!” Both Nagisa and Rei were beaming with pride. 

The volume was thick with pictures, a single photo for each page. At the bottom of the tanned paper was some writing, written in the recognizable scrawl of their kouhais. 

“Rei-chan and I thought it would be fun to caption them all.” Nagisa confessed, sipping his tea. “So we wrote little things on each page, you know, to help capture the moment.” 

“Nagisa, there’s a picture in here of Haru and it just has the word ‘free’ written all over it.” 

“What can I say? Inspiration struck us.” The blonde grinned. “Flip to the next page it’s one of my favorites.” 

At this instruction Makoto did so, Haru leaning over to see. Staring back was a photo of the two of them, both sitting in their suits at the Iwatobi pool. Neither of them were looking at the camera, instead staring into the eyes of each other. Though Haru could clearly state that the camera was unable to capture the true beauty of Makoto’s eyes, it was close, both green and blue lit up perfectly in the light of the sun. To match, laughter created bright smiles on each of their faces. Makoto’s was large, wide, and happy. Haru’s was smaller, delicate, but just as cheerful. Together they looked absolutely perfect. Simply looking at it warmed his cheeks. 

“When was this taken?” Makoto asked without looking up. 

“Hmm… last summer, right Rei-chan?” He looked over to Rei, who nodded, adjusting his glasses. 

“It was after nationals, I believe.” Haru tried to think back and remember, but no specific moment captured his memory. It was as if there was nothing significant about it, like it was just a normal day. In hopes that maybe Nagisa and Rei and written down something helpful, Haru looked down at the inscription, only to frown slightly. Below the picture was the word ‘Makoharu’ and a heart. That’s it.

“What the hell is a Makoharu?” Haru asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“It’s your couple name, silly!” Nagisa said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Couple name?” Makoto tilted his head. 

“Yeah! When people get together you combine their names into one!” Nagisa demonstrated this by holding up two fingers and pressing them together. “Mako-chan plus Haru-chan equals Makoharu!” 

“Uh-huh.” Makoto and Haru exchanged glances. Wait, so why did Makoto’s name get to be first? Why not Harumako? Harukoto? Hamarukokato! 

“Rei-chan and I are Reigsa!” Nagisa continued, pinching Rei’s cheek. Rei attempted to swat it away. 

“I’m assuming you came up with these Nagisa?” Makoto chuckled, finding it all rather amusing. 

“Of course!” he made a peace sign in their direction. “Where else could you find such genius?” 

“Nagisa-kun, all your doing is taking the first few letters of everyone’s name and pressing them together!” Rei tried to argue. 

“Like I said! Genius!” 

“Any chance you thought of one for Rin?” Haru couldn’t help but ask, knowing that if this would annoy anyone, it would be jaws himself. Teasing Rin really was becoming a nasty habit of his.

“Well duhhhhh!” Sitting up, Nagisa looked as if he was about to divulge his greatest of secrets. “Rin-chan and Sou-chan are Sourin!” 

“Pft!” Haru couldn’t help but snort at that, picturing Sousuke’s face if he ever heard that sentence come out of Nagisa’s mouth. The image was _priceless_. 

“Haru-chan, don’t laugh!” Nagisa whined, crawling over to him and aggressively shaking his shoulders. “Mako-chan not you too!” 

“S-sorry Nagisa!” Makoto apologized, trying to stop the light fists attacking his chest, and attempting to stifle his laughter. He quickly lost the battle, the room building up on energy until Rei was laughing with them too. 

“Why is everyone laughing!?” the blonde pouted until he decided he had enough and began laughing himself, falling onto his back in the center of their little circle and clutching his ribs. It soon all became out of a hand and Makoto, Haru, and Rei were following his lead, stomachs howling in pain as they giggled into the carpet. Haru couldn’t even remember what was so funny anymore. All he knew was that he couldn’t stop and neither could the other three. 

By the time they started to settle down they were exhausted, staring up at the ceiling as they attempted to regain their breaths. Haru wasn’t sure if he needed to do the home workout he had promised his coach anymore. He was pretty sure this covered it. 

“Ugh my tummy hurts.” Nagisa moaned, wiping tears from his eyes. 

“I haven’t laughed like that in a while.” Makoto agreed, ever the trooper and being the first one to sit up. He offered a hand to Haru and helped pull him into a half sitting position, Haru lazily leaning against Makoto’s leg. 

“Studies do show that laughter is more prone in groups.” Rei stated reasonably. 

“Hmm. That’s nice Rei-chan.” Nagisa hummed, patting his boyfriend’s face. “So you guys wanna play twister?” three sets of eyes leered on him. 

“Nagisa we didn’t bring twister.” 

“Oh, don’t worry!” the blonde flipped onto his stomach, smiling brightly. “I brought it!” 

“You… brought it.” Haru looked at him skeptically. 

“How much of what you packed is actually clothes?” Makoto sighed. 

“Sadly very little.” Rei looked at them with all too knowing eyes. Haru had a feeling Rei got roped in helping Nagisa make everything fit. “But more than you’d think.” 

“So what do you say?” The look of enthusiasm on his face was contagious and somehow, someway, they all ended up saying yes. 

Let it be known: playing twister with four grown boys was no easy feat. Makoto was the first to be knocked onto his butt, his large status not exactly ideal for a game made for children. Rei did okay for a while since he had long limbs, but he was no match for Haru’s flexibility and Nagisa’s small stature. This soon, however, became Nagisa’s end. Stretched across the board and looking a lot like a knot proved fatal for Nagisa when red was called and his fingers just weren’t quite able make it. In a loud thud he collapsed to the ground and left Haru the victor. Upside-down and doing the splits, this was music to his ears. 

After a couple more rounds, Haru proving to be twister champion besides that fluke where Makoto knocked him out _with him_ , they reached into the pile of the Tachibana board games in hopes for a tamer competition and pulled out Battleship. Teams randomly drawn by a flip of a coin, Haru and Rei sat on one side while Makoto and Nagisa sat on the other. 

It was a rather interesting dynamic to have competition enthusiast Makoto and go in guns blazing Nagisa on one side while analytical Rei and do what you want Haru sat on the other. Many moments of the game were sat in silence while they all stared at the sonar picture in front of them, trying to devise a strategy to find the other team first. A couple of times Haru and Makoto even battled in the air, eyes locked and reading in attempt to try and unravel the others mind. Unfortunately, it was rather hard to pick up something as elaborate as this. Contrary to popular belief, they actually weren’t telepaths. 

When the first, as well as the next two games came a close, ships and pieces flown everywhere by curtsey of Nagisa, Haru and Makoto decided now was a better time than any and called for a break so they could call and order pizza. It was rather nostalgic of previous times, back when they’d sit around his table after practice and eat pizza delivered by their old couch Sasabe. Of course now the pizza would be delivered by some stranger and they didn’t actually have a table, but it was still a nice memory to think about. 

30 minutes later they were all back on the floor, two large pizza boxes in the center and plates on their laps. It was about as cheesy as Haru remembered, long lines of cheese stringing from the grease monstrosity to his lips. By the third time that his cheese just wouldn’t let go Haru couldn’t help but pout, staring at the piece with a look that showed how _done_ he was. This was why he preferred mackerel. It never betrayed him like this. 

Makoto seemed to find this all extremely hilarious, laughing at his expression behind his hand. Haru scowled at him, quickly finding retribution when Makoto took his next bite and lost half his toppings. His own pout was unbearably cute as his cheeks puffed out and eyes frowned, a little bit of pizza sauce leftover on his cheek. In a sort of truce Haru reached over with a napkin to wipe it off. And here they ordered pizza because they thought it’d be easy. 

When all was gone and eaten, and Haru was talking Rei through how to make a special type of _dangos_ he read about somewhere, dishes already put away and the brownies of Rei’s mom sitting in the middle where their dinner had been, Nagisa energy was more than revived and ready for round two. 

“Hey guys, you know what would be fun? Let’s play truth or dare!” the blonde grinned, standing up and throwing his arms up towards the ceiling.

Makoto, halfway through a brownie, nearly chocked on his bite. Well, Haru couldn’t say he hadn’t seen this coming. It was technically a sleepover. Nagisa had an infinity for doing all the sleepover clichés whenever the four of them got together. He wouldn’t be surprised if one of them got smacked in the face with a pillow and the cry of “PILLOW FIGHT!” later. He also had the expectation that there would an attempt at a prank call and at least one suggestion of spin the bottle. 

“Makoto-sempai, you okay!?” Rei gave a couple of light pats to Makoto’s hunched back, trying to help him through his little ordeal.

“Y-Yeah I’m fine.” Makoto cleared his throat, accepting the water Haru offered with thanks. 

“Whats with that reaction, Mako-chan?” Nagisa wiggled his eyebrows. “Got some hidden secret you don’t wanna share?” 

“N-No!” Despite that, his face was turning redder by the second. Granted, that could also be because of the brownie recently lodged in his throat. Haru would have probably been curious too if he didn’t already understand the reason for such a reaction. Playing truth or dare with Nagisa was fun to say the least, but it was also incredibly _risky_. The last time they played Makoto got to be a pretty pretty princess, Haru was wrapped in toilet paper to resemble a mummy, Rei had to revisit the horror of his first B on a test, and Rin… Well Rin got asked what his favorite sex position was. They never _did_ find out, but Nagisa got quite the hairdo afterwards. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather do anything else, Nagisa?” 

“Oh relax, Mako-chan!” Nagisa waved it all away like it was no big deal. “It’ll be fun! I’ll go first.” That was precisely what they were afraid of. As pink eyes scanned across the room, Makoto’s heavy sign of defeat echoed and Haru couldn’t help but pat him on the shoulder. It was about time they go ahead and face the facts. They were all too weak to Nagisa’s whims. Might as well embrace it.

At least they knew they had time to mentally prepare. Nagisa may have acted like he was trying to decide who to pick on first, but they all knew which special glasses child Nagisa loved to pick on most. 

“Rei-chan, truth or dare?!” 

“Why do I have to go first?” Even knowing this Rei whined, only to sigh in defeat when Nagisa started laughing. “Okay fine. I’ll go with dare. Logically speaking you won’t think of anything too ridiculous. Yet.” Haru grimaced at Rei’s naivety. 

“oh hoh hoh Rei-chan!” the blonde looked practically _devious_ as he eyed him up. “You underestimate me! I dare you to strip down to your boxers until it’s your turn again!” Haru snorted. Makoto looked sympathetic. Rei just looked like he was cursing himself over and over.

“What!? I am not stripping, Nagisa-kun I’ll get _cold_!”

“Tut-tut, Rei-chan! I thought you were a stickler for the rules!” He shook his head like a disappointed mom. “You can’t back out of a dare. That’s like the first rule.” Struck by his own morals, Rei had no choice but to follow through with the dare. Maybe next time he will know better than to taunt _Nagisa_. 

“This is ridiculous.” He mumbled, standing up and tugging his shirt over his head in a slick motion. It came quite easy when you had to do it all the time for your sport. Bending down, he then tugged off his pants to reveal dark blue boxers. Nagisa whistled. 

“Woo, go Rei-chan!” Sitting back down and yanking his socks off, Rei scowled at him. 

“Just you wait until my turn to ask you, Nagisa-kun. You’ll regret this I assure you.” 

“Mmm, I don’t think I’ll ever regret seeing Rei-chan stripping.” He chirped, happily relishing in the fact that he not only made Rei blush hard but Makoto as well. “If you get cold we can always snuggle~” 

“Stay where I can see your hands, please.” Hugging his arms to his naked torso, Rei looked over to where Haru and Makoto sat. “Well I guess it’s my turn to ask. Makoto-sempai, truth or dare?” Just looking at Rei sitting there without clothes was enough to decide that one. 

“I’ll go with truth I think!” 

“What would be a good book recommendation of yours?” 

“Rei-chan that’s lame!” Nagisa whined, digging his head into his boyfriend’s arm. 

“It’s my question I’ll ask what I want!” Rei defended himself with a humph, ignoring the complaints targeted at him. “Besides, I finished my reading list and really need some help on this.”

“Don’t worry about it Nagisa, it’s a good question.” Makoto smiled warmly, obviously pleased for getting such an easy one. With so little time to spare already, Haru always wondered how Makoto could still plow through books. “Try out anything of Emily Bronte. She’s originally an English author so the translations are a bit rough, but she’s worth the read. My copies are all worn out already I’ve read her so much.” Rei seemed absolutely pleased with this response, committing her name to memory. 

“Thanks! I’ve actually heard of her before but I have only taken up Japanese works, really.” 

“No I get it.” Makoto nodded. “But sometimes it’s nice to read foreign novels. It gives a little cultural perspective, you know?” 

“Mako-chan, it’s your turn to ask!” Nagisa moaned, probably bored that he had no way to add input to the conversation. “You guys can be all nerdy later!” 

“Hmm? Oh yeah!” Makoto turned his gaze towards Haru, smiling. “Haru, truth or dare?” Looking into such cheery green eyes, Haru didn’t believe he had anything to fear in taking a risk.

“Dare.” 

“Umm… Okay! I dare you to call me Mako-chan.” Haru’s eyes went wide just as Nagisa made an “oooo” sound in the background like he had just heard the juiciest gossip. 

“What?” 

“You heard me.” Makoto grinned. God he had but he wished he hadn’t. In the entire course of his life, Haru had never called Makoto anything beside his given name. Sure, when they were babies he probably had called him some distorted version of his name, but Haru hardly believed that counted. He didn’t even know how to _count_ yet. 

With this realization Haru began to blush, staring at Makoto as if he had asked him to say the most embarrassing thing possible. Heck, he would probably settle for something like that right now instead of having to utter such a name. He wasn’t quite sure his heart could take it. Still, it was the name of the game and it’s not like it was going to combust into flames if he did it. Hopefully. 

“Come on Haru-chan, its easy! I do it all the time!” Yeah, well Nagisa was always an exception to most things. Chewing on his lip and mentally preparing himself, Haru took a deep exhale and ignored Makoto’s eyes, staring right at his nose. Everyone’s eyes were on him, probably wondering if he could actually do it. 

“Mako…-chan.” Haru murmured, his voice small as the name tickled on his tongue. Surprisingly enough it didn’t feel that foreign. It was a little weird, not adding the rest of his name and using a honorific, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Actually, it felt rather… _cute_. Huh. Well maybe now he understood why Makoto liked calling him Haru-chan all the time. 

Even cuter, though, was Makoto’s reaction, falling to pieces at his own dare. The brunette was practically hiding behind his hands. Nagisa made it worse by pointing his reddening face out, and Haru, who never considered himself that nice of a guy anyway, tugged on his fingers with his own playful look, his own embarrassment quickly forgotten. 

“Are you okay, _Mako-chan_? You look a bit flustered. Would you like some water?” Makoto moaned in exasperation, probably regretting his life choices. 

“Haru stoppp!” he reached out, covering Harus mouth with his hands. “You only had to say it once!” grabbing the wrist to pull them away, Haru looked thoughtful.

“I’m not sure. It’s kind of fun, actually. Maybe I’ll just call you this for now on, _Mako-chan_.” Nagisa was in sheer giggles, falling back to laugh into Rei’s lap. 

“Okay, okay I won’t call you Haru-chan anymore!” Though teasing Makoto was always fun, this was a deal that he couldn’t pass up. 

“Or the other thing. The one you said today in front of the twins.” 

“I promise!” pleased, Haru lightly pat Makoto’s knee. What a productive game this was turning out to be.

As it was now his turn to pick on someone, Haru looked around, about to call on Nagisa before he noticed that Rei’s skin was starting to form goosebumps, the temperature of the room starting to get to him. Even with two heaters, it’s not like it was warm enough to be comfortable in just your underwear. With pity, Haru called out Rei instead. 

“Rei, truth or dare?” Purple eyes blew up like balloons at this sudden turn of events. Nagisa just looked dismayed that the fun was over. 

“Aww already?” he pouted, Rei working around the lazy blonde in his lap to pull on his shirt. “That’s no fun!” 

“Oh shush, Nagisa-kun.” Digging his arms under Nagisa’s stomach he pulled him into a kneeling position so he could pull on his pants, Haru and Makoto looking over respectfully while Nagisa watched with no shame. To the blonde’s happiness, however, when Rei finished redressing he grabbed Nagisa by the waist and pulled him back into his lap. Though practically he could be doing it for warmth, Haru highly doubted that was the reason. The thought made him smile.

“I’ll go with truth this time, Haruka-sempai.” Realizing that this meant he had to actually have a question, Haru furrowed his brows together in thought. 

“What…” Haru’s eyes traveled the room, as if they would give him any ideas. When nothing still came to mind, he decided _fuck it_ and went with the first thing that popped into his head. “What’s your favorite part of swimming?” 

It was so very Haru that even he himself felt like laughing from the sheer obviousness of it, but the more he thought about it the more he realized he was curious about it. He knew why he himself swam. For himself, for the team, and to be free. He even knew, at least partially, that Makoto and Nagisa swam for enjoyment and because they loved the connection that came from it. But Rei… he never had really let on why he chose to swim. Sure he talked about the beauty in it, but Haru wasn’t so positive that an aesthetic surface was enough to create a true love of the water.

“My favorite part about swimming?” Rei repeated, as if he hadn’t given it much thought before. 

“Should’ve known Haru-chan would ask something swimming-related.” Nagisa giggled. Haru ignored him, waiting patiently for Rei to answer. 

“I suppose it’s because it’s… different.” When Rei did start to reply, he went slowly, as if he was just realizing this all himself. “It’s beautiful, obviously. You’re living proof of that Haruka-sempai. When I watch you, and even sometimes when I swim myself I can’t help but be in awe of the way it feels. But… I think my favorite part is that no matter how hard I try, I can’t calculate everything. There’s always that hidden variable that I can’t control. It’s exciting. It’s a _challenge_. It’s different than any other thing I’ve attempted.”

Rei smiled in Haru’s direction. “I guess you could say it’s freeing. I’ve always been used to using theories on everything, so being a part of something that I can’t control is almost relaxing. The urge to perfect angles may still be there, but I don’t feel overwhelmed by whether or not I am capable enough. Before when I made a mistake it was because my equation was wrong. Swimming gives me the chance to… have fun for once. I guess that must be why. Having fun is rather… enjoyable actually.” The room was quiet for a moment, Haru reflecting on Rei’s words and approved of them with a tender sensation in his heart. 

“That was deep, Rei-chan.” Nagisa said in awe, looking up at his boyfriend with glittering eyes. “But you forgot, your favorite part of swimming is also that you get to be with me, right?” Caught up in himself, Rei didn’t even get embarrassed by that, smiling at Nagisa with a gentle look. 

“Of course, Nagisa-kun.” Blushing at the easy agreement, Nagisa hugged Rei’s arms to his chest with a hum. 

“So who’s it going to be, Rei-chan? You get to pick next.” 

“Let’s see… I do believe I owe you some payback.” Grinning, Rei looked down. “Truth or dare, Nagisa-kun?” 

“Dare, duh!” In all the games of truth or dare they’ve played, Haru didn’t think Nagisa ever answered anything but. 

“Then I dare you, Nagisa-kun, to let us draw anything we want onto your body.” 

“Heh. That it, Rei-chan!?” 

“Anything.” Rei’s voice was so sturdy and confident that Nagisa stopped whatever he was going to say next and gulped instead. 

“What are you going to write with?” Makoto asked, clearly getting to the fact that they didn’t have much to work with. 

“Luckily,” Rei began, shifting Nagisa off of him so he could stand up. “I was able to confiscate some markers from Nagisa-kun’s bag earlier today. I think they will suffice.” 

“Rei-chan you stole my markers!?” Nagisa feinted hurt as if this had been a huge betrayal. 

“Don’t act like you didn’t have any bad intentions with these.” Rei shook his head, digging in his bag. When he returned he handed both Haru and Makoto each their own marker, keeping one for himself. “Now, shall we get started?” Looking down at his marker, Haru shrugged, following the other two as they made their way to where Nagisa sat.

Drawing on Nagisa was definitely an adventure, one that was filled with a couple of kicks, some shouts, and one particularly noisy whine as Nagisa was informed that Haru had cleverly drawn Iwatobi-Chan on the bottom of his foot. Hey, at least his was original. Makoto and Rei both had done the usual type of drawings, Makoto scribbling an attempted cat on his shoulder and a smiley face on his cheek while Rei added a rather goofy looking mustache under his nose and a butterfly on his neck. Deciding that there had to be at least one dick drawing, Haru sculpted one on Nagisa’s ankle. 

“See, Haru-chan knows how to do this!” Nagisa complimented, gotten used to the fact his body was going to be covered and was actually handing out ideas. 

“I don’t know, Nagisa, I think my puppy looks great!” Makoto proudly stated from Nagisa’s rib, where both he and Haru were adding their own drawings on his stomach. 

“Makoto that’s not a puppy that’s a monster.” Haru chided, loving the pout he received. “Here.” reaching over, Haru fixed it up so the ears looked a little less like horns and a bit fluffier.

“I don’t want a puppy I want a dragon!” Nagisa complained. You know what, Haru was trying his best! On his side Haru was doing exactly as he requested, fire breathing and everything.

“Nagisa-kun you’re not supposed to be _enjoying_ this.” Rei frowned, looking up from where he was drawing on Nagisa’s back. 

“Well if I’m going to be a canvas I might as well be beautiful!” Nagisa stuck out his tongue, body jerking as Haru started to color in. 

“Don’t move, canvas.” Haru scolded. A rainbow, unibrow, geometric… _thing_ , and a finished badass dragon later, their artwork was finished and Nagisa insisted that they would sign and take pictures so he could remember his awesome tattoos when they would get erased. 

“So now that that’s done, it’s my turn to ask again!” Nagisa announced to the room, grinning as he eyed them all mischievously. His eyes finally lingered on Haru, devil horns seemingly growing out of thin air. “Haru-chan, truth or dare?” 

Haru looked at him, contemplating. Nagisa was always such a wild card in his unpredictability, and even the safe choice felt like the wrong choice. To be honest, there really was no way in deducing whether he should say truth or dare. So, using the previous fact that he had picked dare the first time, Haru went with the obvious next choice.

“Truth.” The simplicity of his decision, however, wavered when he saw the look Nagisa made. Apparently this was the wrong choice. 

“Okay, Haru-chan.” Nagisa sat up on his knees. Before he even could ask, the blonde burst into giggles. 

“Nagisa-kun, just ask already!” Rei sighed, fixing his glasses. 

“I am I am!” Nagisa shook his head, as if preparing for this himself. “Haru-chan, you have to tell us. What did having your first kiss feel like?” 

“N-nagisa!” Makoto looked at Nagisa as if he had asked Haru to dance naked on the street, his face reflecting that of a tomato. 

“What, Mako-chan, it’s not like you have to answer it!” Nagisa teased. 

Their noise was like static in his ears.

Haru understood what Nagisa was going for. It was an obvious cliché of sleepovers to discuss relationships and romance and all that kind of stuff that they do in the movies. He also understood that asking Haru was a prime choice because he didn’t _do_ this stuff. It was supposed to be harmlessly embarrassing. It was supposed to make him blush and push away the question, but then he would finally gush his feelings or whatever bullshit that happened in front of the camera. 

But none of them knew. None of them knew Makoto wasn’t his first kiss. And so the embarrassment never happened but instead turned to guilt, a gnawing guilt already started to make his stomach hurt. 

It wasn’t as if he blamed himself for getting kissed. That he had had no control over. Sure, he would have liked it to be with somebody else, but he was over it. It may have seemed like a big deal at the time, but in relationship to finding out his feelings for Makoto it had been like dust in the wind, fluttering out to the very far recesses of his mind. That, coupled by Haru reinforcing the idea that he had left the club for its ambience in general, had left it to be buried for the rest of eternity. At least that’s what he had hoped. 

No, the guilt was there because he had failed to tell his friends, failed to tell _Makoto_. Now he was confronted with their assumption that Makoto had been his first. Even without using words, Haru had become a liar. To continue the charade that that was the truth… Haru didn’t know if he could. He couldn’t lie, not to them. Realizing that he might had to shatter their ideal was enough to make his chest feel like it was full of needles. 

Cheeks gone pale instead of pink, Haru’s sudden behavior was enough to be of notice and it elicited a little worry from his friends. 

“Haru?” 

“I choose dare instead.” He said abruptly, focusing on nothing but the floor and especially not Makoto. One glance towards him and then it would all break whether he tried to keep it going or not. 

“You can’t do that, Haru-chan. You already chose truth! It’s the rules!”

“I don’t care.” Haru replied stubbornly. Maybe somehow, someway he could talk Nagisa out of this. The only problem was it already was out there. Makoto would already have picked up something was wrong, even without actual contact. He really wished he was blushing right now. At least then he could have chalked it all up to embarrassment. 

“Fine!” Nagisa huffed. His eyes were like claws, trying to pry Haru out from behind his façade. “Then I _dare_ you to tell us!” Haru couldn’t help but reflect right back with his own electricity. 

“Pick something else.” 

“Why? I think it’s a perfectly good question!”

“Nagisa if he doesn’t want to…” There it was, the waver in Makoto’s voice. Haru felt like he had been kicked it the gut from how it sounded. Unsure. He hoped with all that he could that Makoto might think he didn’t want to talk about it because at the time he had been crying. That was, however, a far-fetched dream. Haru knew from first-hand experience that during that kiss his tears had been furthest from his mind. 

“Not all of us got to be there, Mako-chan!” Nagisa actually looked _mad_ , as if he had been holding back some sort of anger that he couldn’t hold back anymore. “It’s not fair! You and Haru-chan are dating but you never talk to me and Rei-chan about it! It’s been what, over a month now? Yet we barely even know anything about your relationship and you’re _our best friends_. Haru-chan we didn’t even get to hear that you loved Mako-chan from you! It was from Rin-chan! I know you guys are in Tokyo and have busy schedules, but we still want to be part of your lives.”

“Nagisa…” Makoto cooed softly. Over the layer of guilt he was already feeling, Haru was now given a fresh feeling of shame when he noticed the tears in Nagisa’s eyes. 

“So I’m sorry if it’s invasive to ask about your love life but I want to know!” Nagisa continued, wiping at his eyes. “That’s what friends do! We talk about the butterflies and the adorable things we do and all the embarrassing stories! That’s how it supposed to be- that’s how it used to be! And yet… I don’t understand why it’s not anymore. Mako-chan, back before you confessed to Haru-chan the first time-"

“Nagisa!” Makoto cried out but it was too late. 

And just like that, the strained glass Haru had created from earlier shattered. 

“You confessed to me?” Haru looked at Makoto as he felt something sting in his chest, a small tremor starting in his hands before he even realized it was there. Nagisa understood immediately that he had said something he shouldn’t have, his distress and tears vanishing in light of the sudden change of topic. 

“Umm..!” The blonde looked from Haru, eyes glowing, to Makoto, who was biting his lip hard, but could think of nothing to salvage the conversation. “That is-“ But Haru didn’t want to hear anything from Nagisa. 

“Haru, it’s nothing.” Makoto tried, the look of his facing showing anything but. 

“It’s not nothing!” Haru shouted, blood buzzing inside his veins. “You can’t call a _confession_ nothing.” Haru was yelling and hated it, yet it was all he could do to stop his mind from panicking at this sudden news. A confession meant that Makoto had told him that he loved him. A confession meant that Haru should have _known_. And yet, he hadn’t. He had no memory of this at _all_. 

“Did you not tell him about this, Makoto-sempai?” Rei asked quietly, a bit of disbelief on his face. “I would’ve thought-“

“I didn’t because it doesn’t matter.” Makoto emphasized yet again, interrupting Rei in hopes of getting his point across. “It’s not like it would have changed anything for you to know, Haru.” 

“Bullshit!” Haru bit back. How could something like this not matter? He looked right into Makoto’s eyes, asking the same question. “Something like this… How could I still not notice when you _confessed_?” 

“It’s not as simple as that…” 

“Haru-chan, just because you didn’t know-“ 

“But you knew, Nagisa?” Haru snapped, eyes leaving Makoto to stare directly at the blonde. 

“A-a little.” Nagisa stammered, shrinking under the waves that Haru’s gaze was creating. “But I figured it out myself first!” Apparently that was supposed to make him feel better. It didn’t. Actually, it made him feel worse. Where Nagisa had noticed, he had not. 

“Rei?” Haru eyed the bespectacled boy, who hesitated before nodding slowly. “And Rin too.” Haru didn’t need the affirmation to know that Rin knew just as much as the other two did. It made too much sense now for it to be any other way. Why Rin kept pushing him to tell Makoto how he felt, why Rin always had so much encouragement. They had all known how Makoto felt even before Haru had. 

The realization made him clutch his hands tight enough to turn his knuckles white. 

“Everybody knew but me.” Haru whispered. 

In a sudden desperate desire to _not_ be here, to be anywhere else, Haru stood up and made for the stairs. He couldn’t sit here any longer with the knowledge that out of the four of his friends, he had recognized Makoto’s heart the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, as much as I enjoy fluff, a new dose of angst is always healthy once in a while. Until next time!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, you're not crazy. I'm just late. Like really late. Four months late. Sorry about that.
> 
> I did not realize my semester in school was going to be so difficult, and I barely had enough time to sleep half the time, let alone sit down and write. 
> 
> I can't really think of a way to apologize other than giving you guys a new chapter. I also plan on responding to anyone that leaves a comment because if you're still following this fic after months of inactivity, you deserve to be thanked and appreciated <3 
> 
> Updates will be more frequent now since I'm on summer vacation. The goal is to finish this fic by the time I have to go back. 
> 
> Now, thats enough yammering from me. I hope you enjoy the chapter guys.

Basking in the pale light of the moon, Haru’s room looked like nothing but an empty shell of what it once was. There was no bed set up in the corner, no desk or dolphin poster, not even the small scribble on the wall he had stupidly drawn when he was four because he thought it could use some color. Now there was only the walls and the darkness that clung to them. Along with the cold that sat in the air and the dust that graced the sill of the window, Haru couldn’t have picked a more fitting atmosphere for how he felt if he tried. 

Closing the door behind him with a gentle click, Haru slowly walked past the ghost of his lost bed and sunk to the floor against the opposing wall. He stared at his knees for a moment, blinked three times, then buried his face into them. 

He felt pathetic. He had run away again. At the first sign of a hiccup he had caved under the pressure and ran away, not even staying long enough to listen to what Makoto had to say. Everything had just felt too stifling, like too much was happening at once. Instead of dealing with it, he bolted. 

His previous thoughts about growing up in the tub were lies. Haru hadn’t grown up at all. Eyes squeezed shut, he wondered if he ever would. 

“Haru?” Makoto’s voice was soft as he opened the door by a touch, the light from the rest of the house spilling into the room to accompany him. 

Haru didn’t answer. Instead he curled his legs in tighter, pressed his nose in a little deeper. 

It wasn’t a request for him to leave and so Makoto didn’t, blinding the room with a blast of light for a second more before he closed the door behind himself and walked towards where Haru sat. Sliding down the wall he mimicked Haru’s pose, green eyes looking only forward to a wall that held nothing. There was then only silence that hung in the air. The only words that spoke were from the press of Makoto’s shoulder. Warm and gentle, Haru couldn’t help but stagger under the weight of two simple words: 

_I’m sorry_. This was enough to cause Haru to bite his lip and scoff, because here Makoto was again, taking the blame as if this was all his fault. If there was a fatal flaw to Makoto, it would be this. He would force the world onto his shoulders if he had to, just to make sure Haru had nothing to feel upset about. 

But the issue was that Haru _did_ , and Makoto was trying to take that away from him, as if he could soften the burning embers inside his chest. This guilt was not one he could transfer over, not this time. It hurt to know that Makoto had kept this information from him, but even more so was that all this time, he had known nothing. He had _seen_ nothing. How long had Makoto loved him? How long had he looked at him when he had been too distracted to notice? The thought of it made the touch of his shoulder burn and the inside of himself ache. It was almost too much, and yet Haru couldn’t bring himself to pull away. 

“Don’t.” Haru cut the air with a sharp whisper, eyes glancing towards Makoto even as they continued to be buried in his knees. “That’s not what I want.” 

“Then what do you want?” Makoto’s voice was soft and patient, ready to spill whatever Haru asked of him. 

“How long ago?” Haru mumbled into his legs, nails scrapping against the denim of his jeans. He didn’t have to clarify his question. Makoto would already know.

“Two years.” Haru couldn’t help but flinch. 

“And…” Haru swallowed, not sure if it was a question he really wanted answered. And yet he did because he had to know. “How long have you loved me?” He could feel Makoto’s hesitation even before he spoke, legs twitching inward with the sudden stop of breath. 

“I have always loved you, Haru.” Makoto began quietly. “Even when we were little I knew you were special to me. That feeling hasn’t changed. It _will_ never change. But the love that I have for you now… It is different. It had taken me a while to figure out what this meant, why I always felt so warm when you touched me, why I kept thinking how beautiful you were. It wasn’t until our last year in middle school that I really could put it together.” 

“Middle school!?” Haru’s head shot up with alarm, his eyes wide and bright as he studied Makoto’s features. “Are you kidding me? Five years!?” Makoto shook his head, his face a vulnerable softness. 

“It was the first time I had wanted to kiss you. I still can remember it. We went to the beach with my family and I was really nervous so I stayed back on the towel while you went out to the water with Ren and Ran. The three of you looked so _happy_ , and I was jealous of them because I wanted to be in the water with you too. But I was scared. I remember my hands had been shaking so much since just the day before a huge storm had come through. It brought back too many memories.” Makoto paused, eyes staring out of the window for a moment as if he could somehow see the scene unravel from here. 

“Something back then must have crossed over my face because after a while you stopped playing with the twins and frowned before walking over. You didn’t say anything for a moment, just kind of stared, and then you offered your hands to me. I was so awestruck by it that I grabbed them right away. My hands had been shaky but in yours they were so steady. I felt so safe as you lead me to the water, I didn’t even know I had made it there until it splashed against my feet. 

"And then you smiled. That cute, adorable smile you have that I don’t even think you realize you give. Being with you in the ocean, holding your hands, and seeing your face light up, my heart skipped a beat. I thought of nothing but leaning forward and kissing you. And then all of the pieces fit into place and I knew. I was in love with you. Sitting here, five years later, that feeling has never wavered. I loved you then just as much as I do now.” 

“You’re a complete idiot.” Haru shook his head, the beat of his heart a dull ache against his chest. He had to resist the urge to itch at his eyes, the corners of which were stinging from frustration, from guilt, from sadness. “Why would you love me for so long? Idiot. _Idiot_!” Haru bit his lip, using it as his only method to stop chanting the word over and over again. It wasn’t even meant to be directed at Makoto. After all, it was Haru that was the idiot here. 

He remembered the day at the beach Makoto was talking about just as clearly as the brunette did himself. The crisp crash of the oceanic waves, the smell of salt water stinging in his nose, and the troubled eyes of a wavering meadow, looking so forlorn as they sat off to the side. They were images that were forever ingrained into his mind.

When he had walked up to Makoto that day, he had done so with the intention to rid those eyes of sadness and brighten them up with their usual glow. The core of a sun couldn’t fizzle out. If it did, how could everything feel warm? And so Haru did what he thought would be best to sooth a person: bring them to the water. 

Knowing Makoto was scared, Haru made sure to offer him both his hands and lead him there carefully. Seeing him enter the ocean and not looking nearly as afraid as before was enough to make Haru happy, glad that he had been able to make Makoto feel better, glad that something he loved was willing to try and make Makoto happy too. Of course, at the time, Haru hadn’t even fathomed it might have been himself that had done the job. 

Was he really that oblivious? Or perhaps he was just stupid. Sitting here beside Makoto, fresh with the knowledge that he had been loved for years, the latter option seemed the most accurate. And in his stupidity, he had without a doubt caused Makoto a great deal of loneliness, not unlike what he had felt when Makoto had dated Hiromi.  
Just that thought alone was enough to heighten the guilt sinking in his chest. He had barely been able to withstand a couple of months of unrequited feelings, let alone _years_. And not only that, Makoto had showed no sign. He was always smiling, always happy, always… _Makoto_. There had never been a crumble in the wall he had built around himself. 

“You should have told me this years ago.” 

“But I did Haru. Or… at least I tried.” That felt like a slap to the face and he had to look away from Makoto as it hit. 

“I don’t understand.” Haru whispered quietly. “If you confessed, why don’t I _know_ about it? Did I not look up in the sky when you wrote it in the clouds that day? Did I miss the balloons falling from the ceiling- no stop laughing Makoto this isn’t funny!” and yet Makoto was giggling into his hand, cracking the first smile since everything had been thrown out into the open. 

“Sorry. I just- is that what you wanted?” 

“Of course not!” Haru replied hotly, cheeks growing slightly pink. “It’s not like I gave you the best confession myself.” At his words Makoto’s face lost his joy, reaching over and grabbing Haru’s hand. A bit surprised Haru let him hold it, instead moving to place clasped fingers between them on the floor. 

“No, it wasn’t anything like that. I almost didn’t do it, to be honest. But Nagisa was persistent, saying how my love-life was pathetic and I needed to up my game or I was going to lose you to the pool or something.” Haru gave him a look. “No, I was _not_ afraid that you would choose a pool over me, but I was… afraid. You were happy. Happier than I had ever seen you. We had the swim club, Rin was back and swimming with you again, your parents even came back for a small visit. Everything seemed so perfect for you. I didn’t want to ruin it by admitting how I felt. And yet, when Nagisa put the idea in my head I wasn’t able to get it out. Somehow, someway, I was going to try telling you.”

Makoto exhaled a shaky breath.

“It was during that last week of August, back when the five of us decided to go to that onsen up in the hills. Do you remember?” He paused, as if waiting to see if Haru would respond. 

In fact Haru did, however hazy the details might have been. It had been all by Nagisa’s luck, having somehow managed to earn five tickets for a free night’s stay at a new onsen trying to gain some customers. None of them really could say no to a promise of a relaxing trip, the summer’s training having taken its toll on their muscles, and so they decided to go. Rin was more than willing to come with, and Kou even had the heart to let them off of a day of training. 

To his remembrance it had been a pretty uneventful time. Perhaps there was a falling towel incident somewhere, maybe Makoto swooned a couple of girls hearts, and he _actually_ was pretty sure Rin had managed to pull him into some kind of race, but nothing felt out of the normal. From Makoto’s eyes, however, this didn’t seem to be true. Haru nodded his head slightly to tell him to continue. 

“Nagisa always manages to get his hands on the strangest things. I suppose I shouldn’t really question it too much. We all needed it. The place was quite nice. The baths were big and not too busy since it was still pretty new. We spent most of our time in the water, just sort of… existing. It was nice. I think it was the first time all five of us were able to just sit down and be together. It was at night, after dinner when everyone was tired and lazing about, that you wanted to go back into the water. I really didn’t like the idea of you going by yourself, and so I decided to go with you. I didn’t really think about it, at the time, of what kind of situation I was making. I just didn’t want you to be alone. The idea made me nervous. 

“To my surprise, it was empty when we got there. You jumped in right away, of course. I followed after, and for a time I was rather soothed with it just being the two of us. While you swam, I watched and was happy. But then you commented on how bright the stars were, and I couldn’t help but notice that they were beautiful, not just in the sky but in the ripples around you. ‘beautiful’ I had thought. It had been a dark night, but that just made everything seem more private. Like the world only was us two. 

“Just like that, I slowly lost control of my thoughts. My head was filled with stupid little imaginations that made everything dizzy. Stupidly, I ruined it for myself. I could no longer think about how the night was nice and peaceful. Instead, everything felt romantic. The starlight, the darkness, you. I began arguing with myself. I swear Nagisa was sitting behind me, egging me on. 

“I realized I wanted to tell you, right there, right then. I was so unprepared for this. I had convinced myself that I would be able to articulate a plan and portray my feelings in a well-rehearsed manner. Instead things felt right now and I couldn’t hold the urge to tell back.” Makoto swallowed hard, as if the sensations of then were with him now.  
Haru’s eyes may have been opened, but his vision was elsewhere, picturing the scene just as Makoto described. He couldn’t place it well, not from his own memory, and so he threw those useless half-images aside entirely and instead decided to see it through the eyes of Makoto.

He imagined that the brunette’s skin would be flushed from embarrassment, encasing not just a few select places, but all of him. Pink would spread across his cheeks, along his ears, and down his neck where it would tickle across the expanse of his shoulders and chest. His fingers, in their timidness, they would fiddle with each other, maybe tug at the ends of his hair. Haru supposed that, in his eagerness to speak, Makoto’s mouth would open and close repeatedly without sound, attempt after attempt to confess failing in fear of rejection. 

And where was himself? Haru didn’t need Makoto to figure out where he was in all of this. He could picture it clearly. ‘Haru’ was swimming through the water with complete obliviousness to his friends peril, living in ignorance that this day would one day come back to haunt him.

“I think more than once you asked me if I was okay.” Makoto admitted. “I blamed it on the water, saying it was too hot. It was an excuse I could have used to leave, but I didn’t want to get out. At the time, it felt like there would be no other opportunity to say what I wanted to say. Now that the chance was there, it felt like now or never. So I… did.”

There was a pause. 

“I’m pretty sure I commented on the weather, actually.” Makoto chuckled, itching his chin. “Then I somehow managed to get it on topic. I told you… I appreciated you. I told you so passionately and you listened so clearly that I was positive my feelings came out. And then I did it. I asked you out.” Makoto shifted in his spot uncomfortably. Haru did the same. He could practically feel the lump Makoto had to swallow in his throat before he could continue. 

“The look you gave back to me was confused. You stared at me, probably trying to read what I was asking, and then simply responded with “we can go back inside if you want”. You hadn’t understood me. Not at all. At first I was taken aback, unsure with how your response fit the situation. And then I understood. Our thoughts at that time were not in the same place. My feelings were alone.

“From then I decided to keep my feelings for you a secret. Our friendship was important to me, Haru, and I didn’t want to ruin it with something like this. I made sure Nagisa and everyone wouldn’t say anything to you….and… well that was that. I decided getting to love you at a distance was better than not being able to love you at all.” 

“If I would have known…” Haru whispered. His insides felt like they were crumbling, and he was forced to clench his hand un-clasped hand into a fist to keep it from shaking. “If I would have listened to what you had said more closely…” 

“It’s okay.” Makoto squeezed their hands. “I don’t blame you for not realizing what I had meant.” 

“You should have tried again.” Haru shook his head, refusing that the past had had to be formed as it was. “You could have made me understand, and forced me to hear your confession.” 

“Haru.” Makoto interrupted, and the seriousness of his voice made Haru curl his limbs into himself. “Did you love me then?” 

“Huh?”

“If… I would have made it clearer, do you think you could have said ‘I feel the same?’” Haru’s heart skipped a painful beat. His inability to answer proved enough of a response, even without words. 

“You didn’t understand what I had said because at the time it meant nothing to you. You didn’t love me then, Haru. I know, and it’s okay. I realized it the moment I said something to you and all I could see in your eyes was confusion. You wouldn’t have been able to say it back.” 

“But I love you now!” Haru shouted, his eyes sparkling with tears. He knew Makoto was right about this, but having him be the one tell him so was even more painful. “Doesn’t that count for something?” 

“Of course it does! Hearing you say that means the world to me.” Makoto reached over, pushing Haru’s hair back and rubbing his temple with his thumb. “And I know those feelings are genuine. But I’m not going to try and convince myself that your feelings have always been there. I’ve loved you long enough to know that they haven’t.”

At this Haru couldn’t help but collapse into Makoto’s chest, burying his face in tightly as he gripped onto the hem of his shirt. Makoto’s arms curled around and enveloped him, holding him tightly as he pressed his nose into the top of Haru’s head.

“I’m sorry.” Haru whispered, voice washed out and cracked as he tried to keep himself in check. “It must have been so painful for you. To go through five years of this, you really are such an idiot.” And this time Haru did mean Makoto. “I wasn’t worth the wait.” 

“Yes you were.” Makoto pressed a sweet kiss to Haru’s forehead. Haru shook his head at this but gave no verbal response, instead taking a deep breath to calm himself and let Makoto’s scent take over him. “Just this past month has been enough reassurance of how much you are worth it to me.” 

Unable to stop a blush from that, Haru shyly hid as much of his face as he could. As far as he was concerned, Makoto himself was priceless. He was willing to sell all of himself if that meant he could admire even a single speck of the being that held him so affectionately. 

But just as comfort settled and Haru finally felt the shock of Makoto’s confession ebb away, he was struck with untimely previous thoughts. It reminded him that he wasn’t nearly so deserving of what he had when the word liar was clearly etched across his forehead. 

How fair of it was he to have made Makoto tell his stories, to divulge Haru with all of his history when he wasn’t even able to admit a truth that should have been shared long ago? The answer, of course, was that it wasn’t. He was always doing this to Makoto, making him suffer in ways that, though not creating them on purpose, were still all entirely his fault. 

Haru was such a coward, hiding behind the fact that Makoto was always willing to be blind to his faults if he wished it. 

“Makoto.” Uncertain, Haru pulled away, looking up into bright green eyes. “I have something… I should tell you.” Though Makoto seemed to be ready for whatever this was, perhaps connecting Haru’s words to earlier himself, Haru found himself at a loss for words, never being quite the conversationalist in general. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be honest to Makoto. The problem was that it was hard to articulate out loud what he wanted to say, and to do it in a way that wouldn’t make it sound worse than it was.

After all it was just a kiss. Haru kissed Makoto all the time! Sometimes for reasons, like in greetings or formalities, but often times he would kiss Makoto purely because he felt like it. Sometimes when he was being cute, other times when he would be agonizingly irresistible. Many times he kissed him just to kiss him because it just felt right. 

And yet, this wasn’t just a kiss. It was his first. There was something special in its loss, and to have it be because of a total stranger made the magic lose its spark. The kisses that would follow would always be second. It wasn’t as if their kisses didn’t ignite. The problem was that for Makoto, as a boy who had been pining after him for five years, he would have to come to terms with the fact that someone got there before he did. 

So, without words to articulate everything to make this not seem like a big deal Haru started to play with the tuffs of Makoto’s hair, running his fingers through the fluff and standing it on end. After a few moments of this, there was a sigh from Makoto’s direction and he reached up, clasping each of Haru’s wrists to a stop. 

“If you don’t want to tell me, Haru, then don’t force yourself.” Makoto said kindly. 

“No!” Haru shouted, biting his lip. “I have to. It’s only fair.” Slouching, Haru sighed closing his eyes and placing his forehead back into Makoto’s chest. So much comfort was there and he really needed a home at the moment. “I’m just… not good at stuff like this. I’m sorry.”

“Take your time.” Gently Makoto tugged him closer, adjusting himself so they could be seated a bit more comfortably. Haru took this response greedily, silent minutes ringing in the air as he tried to arrange his thoughts appropriately. 

“Makoto,” Haru started shyly, looking up at him. Before he could even say a second word, however, an overwhelming desire to kiss Makoto filled him, and he could do nothing but appease the sensation, reaching up and tugging Makoto gently to his lips. It was swift, careful, and sweet, a warming symbolization that they both still kissed each other with equal love. “I love you. And despite how much I hate it, what you said earlier is true. I didn’t know about these feelings, at least not yet. But I do now. I’m sorry for hurting you.” Makoto meant to speak up but Haru silenced him, placing his finger against Makoto’s lips. 

“Listen to me.” He whispered quietly. “Believe it or not, there are things in this world you deserve and an apology is one of them. I’m sorry for not being there for you. I’m sorry you had to wait. And I’m sorry that there are some things that I can’t give you. But… even so I want to give you all that I can. Is… that okay?” 

“Of course.” Makoto smiled, as if Haru was asking questions that didn’t need to be said. Then the smile was replaced with a frown. “What’s wrong Haru? You’re making me a bit worried…“ Sighing, Haru pushed himself away slightly to create some distance between the two of them. 

“Do you remember back when we went to that club a couple of months ago?” Makoto nodded slowly, looking confused but nonetheless encouraging. “You know how I told you that I left because there were too many people?” Another nod. “I lied. It was because Zuki kissed me.” 

There was a freeze in Makoto’s arm for only a second, an instinctive possessive tug following that pulled Haru tight against Makoto. Immediately after the grip slackened, as if Makoto became aware that he had done it. The feeling left a buzz on Haru’s skin. 

“She kissed you?” Makoto asked. Shying behind his bangs it was Haru’s turn to nod. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Haru, you were so upset that night.” 

Haru ignored him. Instead he posed his own question. “Are you mad?” He found himself clutching Makoto’s shirt in his hands with nerves, unable to look up for fear that disappointment would be looking right back at him. Instead what he received a gentle squeeze as he was pulled closer. 

“Why would I be mad?” Makoto shook his head, as if the thought of being mad at Haru was crazy. 

“I wasn’t able to save my first kiss for you.” 

“So it was your first.” Makoto voice was quiet, his eyes reflecting sadness that caused Haru’s heart to still for a moment. It sped up just as quickly when Makoto reached up to trace his thumb along Haru’s bottom lip. “Did it… feel special?” 

Haru looked up to meet Makoto’s eyes.

“No. I hated it.” He was unable to keep himself from making a face, the memory of her lips not completely gone. “The whole thing felt wrong.” Makoto’s reaction was one of mixed emotions, both looking pleased that Haru didn’t find enjoyment in being kissed by someone else and also saddened that Haru’s experience was such a terrible one.

“Haru… ” 

“It was because it wasn’t you.” Haru said firmly, cutting him off. The suddenness of his words made Makoto’s eyes go wide. They soon narrowed into bright fondness. “It doesn’t matter what kind of kiss it was. It still wouldn’t have felt any better. It only feels right with Makoto.” 

“What makes me different?” Makoto hummed, knuckles stroking against Haru’s cheek. They were soft and gentle, caressing him sweetly. He closed his eyes to fall into the touch.

“Everything.” He breathed. 

“That sounds like an easy answer.” Makoto’s voice was louder now, his breath tracing across Haru’s skin as he leaned in closer. Haru slowly opened his eyes, just in time for their lips to meet.

“It’s the truth.” He breathed into their kiss, arms wrapping around Makoto’s neck. With smooth movements Makoto had his hands sliding underneath Haru’s shirt, fingers gliding against his stomach. The kiss, which started sweet, quickly turned hot and possessive, Makoto’s jealousy shining through as he pressed his lips open and licked inside his mouth. 

Moaning, Haru tightened his thighs around Makoto’s hips as his back was lowered to the ground, Makoto now hunched over him and kissing him breathless. The floor was cold but Makoto was hotter, overheating his senses and burning his skin as his shirt rode up and hot hands grazed across his nipple. His own hands followed much the same path, fingers roaming the muscles of Makoto’s defined back before they traveled dangerously close to Makoto’s peeking boxers. 

By some miracle, Haru apparently still had enough commonsense left in him to realize that right now probably wasn’t a good time to get carried away. If they continued for much longer, they probably wouldn’t be able to stop. He managed to tilt his head to the side and let Makoto trail kisses down his chin so he could at least manage to speak. 

“Makoto,” Haru panted, eyes heavy as Makoto began sucking on his neck. “we-we should go back downstairs. Nagisa and Rei are still down there.” Startled by their names, Makoto pulled away with an alarming pop, saliva linking his red lips to the wet spot on Haru’s skin. 

“I’m sure they are worried.” Makoto bit his lip. Haru wished he wouldn’t. It was very distracting, among other things. 

“We’ve been up here a while. They might come looking.” 

“They could walk in on us.” Makoto said bluntly. 

“Yeah.”

“That would be awkward.”

“Definitely.” Makoto looked a bit perplexed, staring down at Haru as if he was suddenly an object he was forbidden to touch. 

“Let’s go down.” He finally agreed, leaning forward to place a chaste kiss against Haru’s lips. Knowing it might be a while until he could get another one, Haru savored it, closing his eyes and pretending to not be disappointed when Makoto pulled away. 

In the end, it was probably the smartest choice they could have made. After they pulled each other to their feet and left the world of darkness for one of light, they were greeted with a rather strange sight on the stairs. 

Nagisa had apparently been at his limit for waiting. 

“Rei-chan let go! We have to check on them!” His hands clutched tightly to the railing of the stairs, Nagisa barely had his feet touching the ground as Rei tried to pry him off. The result was an almost horizontal Nagisa. 

“No we do not! I’m sure Haruka-Sempai and Makoto-sempai want some alone time to- Oh.” Seeing them emerge at the top, Rei stopped himself short. Both his and Nagisa’s faces leapt at the sight of them.

“Mako-chan, Haru-chan!”

“What… are you two doing?” Haru asked, looking from one to the other as he tried to piece together the situation. 

“Well Um.” Nagisa made a popping sound with his mouth, rubbing the back of his head. “Well Rei-chan and I-“ Rei cleared his throat with a stare “-um, okay well _I_ thought it might be a good idea to come check on you, since you have been up there a while. L-Looks like everything is fine though, no need to worry anymore, right Rei-chan?” he was smiling at first but then it faded, looking up at Haru and Makoto with a wavering gaze. “…right?” 

Silently grabbing Makoto’s hand with a tight squeeze, Haru led him down the stairs towards where Nagisa stood. That look on his face really didn’t suit him. If Makoto was the sun and the stars, Nagisa was the cloudless sky, always promising a day of excitement and positivity. A rainy day did not become him. He would much rather see him happy. With this in mind, Haru smiled softly towards him, reaching over to ruffle his hair as he met him on the steps. 

“Right.” He promised. Nagisa’s hair seemed to floof in response, the blonde of his hair crackling with joy. They were barely on the main floor before Nagisa was leaping at them, pulling the two of them into a giant hug. Haru didn’t mind. Just as much as he craved the affection of Makoto, sometimes he needed the love of Nagisa and Rei too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter felt a bit OOC. I wrote half this chapter months ago, and the other in the last two days so my thought process is totally different in various parts of the chapter. I just couldn't push myself to start over, so i worked with what i had. Can't say I'm very impressed with it, to be completely honest.   
> So much dialog... so much. I just ugh.. bleh. yeah. That sums up my feelings for this chapter pretty well, actually. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed it anyways.  
> The next chapter should be up soonish. It won't be a very long one, so i shouldn't take too long in writing it.  
> Until next time.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys came for some cheesy fluff because that's exactly what you're getting this chapter!   
> Though, at this point, you should be used to it. 
> 
> Before that though, I just wanted to quickly thank all of you for still staying interested in this fic <3 reading all your wonderful comments made me so happy, and are a huge part of me writing through this chapter so fast. Your enthusiasm keeps me going, and it really makes my day to know there are people who look forward to my updates.  
>  All of you are amazing! 
> 
> Now, to what you guys are ACTUALLY here for. I hope you enjoy the chapter!!

After the sky had long since faded to pitch black, the world lit up with nothing but the inner lights of homes and the glitter of stars, Nagisa pulled out another surprise from his bag. Sparklers. 

“A little light show to say goodbye, you know?” Nagisa smiled softly, holding the box of sparklers and a lighter in front of them. “We should send Haru-chan’s house off with a bang!” Figuratively, Haru hoped. The last thing he needed was to have to call up his parents and explain to them that unfortunately they couldn’t sell the house because Nagisa blew the place up. 

Together the four of them pulled on their jackets and stepped outside, right away greeted with the crisp wind of the night. Because of the time the air was quiet, the November chill giving a sense that everything around them was frozen. It was quite peaceful, and right away Haru sunk into contentment within the dark. 

With a rather dopey grin, Nagisa passed them each their own sparkler. The sight was actually rather comical, since he was clearly trying to keep his teeth from chattering. Next to him Makoto was making a similar face, one hand smooshed underneath his armpit while the other held his stick. With a faint smile Haru pressed himself tightly into Makoto’s side. 

The lighter in hand, Rei flicked the switch and held the little orange flame to the tip of Nagisa’s sparkler. Seconds later the sparkler sprang to life. Within the sound of sizzling a bright array of golden lines sparked from the center, lighting up the yard with its glow. They all watched it in amazement, eyes discolored in the brightness that leapt from it. 

“Mako-chan!” Nagisa said excitedly, holding out his sparkler to Makoto’s non-lit one. Makoto complied, holding his out so it could be sparked to life and Haru followed suit, holding out his own sparkler so Rei could do the same. After Haru returned the favor and lit Rei’s, they all stood there in a great circle of light. 

They didn’t really emit much warmth, and yet Haru felt himself grow warm, a sense of fondness overtaking the cold with each passing second. He watched Nagisa run around the grass and twirl his in circles, chuckled as Rei began to use his to create beautiful poses, and blushed as Makoto laughed at the twos antics. 

As he watched Haru came to the conclusion that he was unbelievable lucky. He had no words capable for describing why he felt so, just an intense feeling in his chest that left him speechless, watching his friends be nothing more than themselves. Haruka Nanase didn’t need things. He honestly didn’t even really need people. But he need _them_. This moment of simplicity was enough to show him that. 

Maybe he was just tired. Today _had_ been exhausting. That still didn’t make this moment feel any less important.

He couldn’t imagine a life where they weren’t apart of his. Them and Rin, they had this special knack for drawing something out of himself that he couldn’t quite understand. They inspired him, made him feel alive. More than that, however, was that they made him feel… happy. With them, Haru could be Haru. There was nothing more wonderful than that. 

For his luckiness, Haru couldn’t be more grateful. He loved them. More than he could ever express in words, he loved them. 

“What are you doing?” Haru asked, looking over as Makoto just pulled his sparkler away from making a square around his head. 

“Just taking a snapshot.” He replied, his breath white puffs emitted from his lips. The glow of Makoto’s face looked especially radiant with the lights of the sparkler making the green shine. “You looked so thoughtful, I couldn’t help it.” 

“Hmm.” Haru puffed his cheeks, hoping the night would hide his blush well enough. Since his own sparkler had died, he reached over to grab an unused one and pressed the tip against Makoto’s. When it ignited, he tugged it away, but only slightly. 

Haru started making squares with his sparkler, first framing Makoto’s face, then his chest, his shoulder, and then all of him. The entire time he couldn’t _quite_ keep the smug look from appearing on his face. 

“What are you doing?” Makoto asked, shaking his head with a laugh. 

“Just taking some snapshots.” Haru replied. “You looked so Makoto I couldn’t help it.” The flustered expression on Makoto’s face was glorious, made even better by Nagisa calling out to them. 

“Hey you two, stop flirting!” Nagisa was grinning wildly as he panted slightly, having just been chasing Rei around with his own sparkler. “We only have four sparklers left, we have to do something special!” 

“Makoto started it.” Haru shrugged quietly, waving his sparkler back and forth in front of him, glad that it was dark enough now that his face was mostly hidden as Makoto’s sparkler died out. 

“What should we do with the last of them?” Rei asked, getting back to the topic at hand. Thank god for that.

“Hmm…” Nagisa bit his lip in thought, crossing his arms. “Oh, I know!” They waited until Haru’s sparker finished before Nagisa reequipped them each with a new one. “Rei-chan, can you light all four at once?” 

To his request Rei nodded, handing Haru his own as he fumbled with the lighter and flicked the little flame on once more. Haru, Makoto, and Nagisa pressed the tips of the sparklers to the orange heat, the sticks pulsing in gold in no time at all. Haru handed Rei his sparkler back, and then the three of them looked towards Nagisa for guidance.

“Sparklers up!” he shouted, and Haru couldn’t help but smile as the blonde held his sparkler high in the air. Following him, the sparks that flew off their four sparklers made their heads glow like halos. They stood as an ignited wall, all looking towards the shadow of Haru’s home. 

“Haru-chan’s house!” Nagisa shouted, not loud enough to disturb the neighbors but enough to be prominent in the night. “It’s been fun. I always loved being able to come over to Haru-chans and play. No matter who lives here next, you’ll always be Haru-chans house to me. ” Nagisa nodded distinctively, blonde hair bouncing. “Now Rei-chan, you go!”

“Uh.” Rei fidgeted with his glasses, probably trying to think of something to say. “I don’t have a lot of memories here, but the ones that I do are special.” Underneath the red of his glasses, an equally red tint was gliding across his cheeks. “I will never forget them, especially tonight’s. Goodbye, Haruka-senpai’s house.” 

“Mako-chan.” Nagisa addressed him next, glancing at him from his spot in their line. 

“Right.” Makoto cleared his throat, appearing a bit nervous. “Well, I have spent a lot of time over here throughout the years. I probably could claim it as my second home with how much I’ve been over. My mother always did say if I wasn’t home, I was at Haru’s. We have had a lot of good times in this house, and it makes me sad to have to say goodbye. But…”

Makoto paused, as if thinking for the right words to say.

“I don’t feel like it’s the end of anything. The house will be gone, but the moments will always be with us. I think that’s enough to keep it alive.” A smile fell over his lips. “Enjoy your new family. I’m sure they’ll be just as great.” The air then fell silent save for the crackle of their dying sparklers and Haru knew it was his turn to say farewell. 

He could have said anything to this house, maybe recounted some previous memory or went into some grand speech on how much it meant to him. Instead he chose a word of finality, weighing it with all the thoughts he felt he could never provide clear enough. In the end, for Haru it felt like it was all that needed to be said. 

“Goodbye.” Haru said simply, eyes lidded with fondness for his home. _Thanks for everything_. Like flickering candles, the sparkles sizzled once more and then went out, leaving them all the dark that felt much blacker than before. 

“We should go back inside.” Eventually came Makoto’s reasoning, breaking up the silence. His voice quiet. “It’s getting late and we do have to fly back to Tokyo tomorrow.” Dropping their dead sparklers in the water bucket Haru had set out to prevent an accidental fire, they all slowly made their way back inside.

After dressing in their matching pajamas and switching off the lights, they all but flopped on the floor, Makoto and Rei taking up the edges as Haru and Nagisa were sandwiched in the middle. A couple of giggles eventually escaped, a few random comments were said, and then the four of them slowly drifted off to sleep, snuggling into the blankets to rid themselves of the nights chill. 

When Haru woke early that morning he found that he was being hugged tightly by Makoto from behind, his face buried in the back of his neck. Nagisa lay horizontal on his back, head and arm smooshed into Haru’s stomach while his feet draped over Rei. The position was suffocating and hot and made him unable to move. He would have expected nothing less, nor wanted anything more. 

 

 

“Nagisa, I can’t breathe.” Haru spluttered over the noise of the airport, actually feeling the back of his feet lifting off of the ground as the he hugged him tighter and tighter. This was rather impressive, actually, since there was at least a heads height difference between them. With a final, lasting squeeze, the blonde set him back down on the floor.

“Sorry Haru-chan.” Nagisa said guilty, his face looking down enough to make Haru give him a light pat on the shoulder. Rei hugged him next, being a lot gentler and actually keeping his feet on the ground. 

“We’ll miss you, Haruka-senpai.” Rei said, his expression sad as he pulled away. “Good luck on your studies.” 

“Thanks Rei.” Haru replied softly. “Take care, okay? Don’t work yourself too hard. Watch out for each other.” Both Nagisa and Rei looked like they were about to tackle him for another hug again, eyes brimming wet, but the sound of the Tachibana twins protesting was enough of a distraction. 

Looking over his shoulder where Mrs. Tachibana and her children stood, he watched as Makoto tried to stand up from hugging his siblings and be pulled back down as they grabbed onto his sleeves. This was always the most difficult part for Makoto when he came home. Saying goodbye to his family. It always acted as a reminder of the distance between them all, and how much they missed each other when they were apart. 

This was also the reason why Makoto didn’t come home that often. Every time he did, the first few days back in Tokyo filled him with homesickness. 

“Ren, Ran…” Makoto sighed, his eyes closed from the difficulty of saying goodbye. “I’ll be back soon I promise.” 

“We barely got to spend time with you.” Ran pouted. “You can’t go back yet.” 

“We still have more we want to do with you, Onii-chan.” Ren’s lip trembled as he said this. 

“You both know I can’t stay. Haru and I have school tomorrow.”

“Then don’t go!” Ran protested hotly. “You’re our Onii-chan!” It was like trying to say no to puppies. Makoto knew how to deny them candy, give them time outs, and send pouting children to bed, but nowhere in his repertoire was the ability to deny them his own presence. Mrs. Tachibana gave them warning looks. 

“Ran. Ren.” She said with a firm yet gentle voice. “We can’t be selfish now, can we? As much as he would love to stay with you, your brother has other things to do.” 

“But we never get to spend time with them anymore!” Was Ran’s protest. To everyone’s surprise, it was Nagisa who knelt in front of them. 

“Rei-chan and I feel the same all the time. We get sad and miss them a lot.” Nagisa told them seriously, hugging his bent knees to himself. “We always wonder ‘what is Mako-chan up to?’ or ‘I wonder if Haru-chan is swimming right now’. Those sorts of things. Just like Ren-chan and Ran-chan, the last time they came to visit was in the summer. It’s a long time, isn’t it? It can feel lonely. But you know what?” 

Nagisa paused. 

“We can get through it. Wanna know how?” the twins looked up at him, nodding their heads when they waited for Nagisa to answer. “We remember all the days we spend with them and think of all time times we get to see them in the future. You two had fun on Friday when they came home, right?” 

The two nodded shyly. 

“Then hold onto those feelings real tight and save them until you see Mako-chan and Haru-chan next. Then it won’t feel like you’re missing them at all. It’ll feel like you just saw them.”

“O-okay.” The twins nodded after a while, still looking sad but also happier. Makoto shot Nagisa a heartfelt look. 

“Thanks Nagisa.” He said, standing up and pulling him into a hug. 

“Bye bye, Mako-chan.” As Makoto finished hugging Nagisa and moved to hug Rei, Haru took his time giving one last big hug to the twins. 

“Be good.” He told them gently, cradling one of their hands in each of his. “I’ll bring your brother back soon.” The twins nodded tearfully, giving him another hug before he could stand up. 

“Take care of yourself, sweetie.” It was Mrs. Tachibana’s turn, grabbing his face with her hands and leaning forward to kiss him on the forehead. “I’ll miss both my boys.” Haru gave her a soft smile, reaching up to squeeze her hand. 

“You too.” Pulling out of her embrace, Haru took a deep breath and went to stand close to Makoto.

“Remember to tell Kou that we said hi when she gets back from visiting Rin.” Makoto told Nagisa, shifting his bag on his shoulder. It was rather unfortunate timing, Haru and Makoto deciding on coming down to Iwatobi during the two weeks Kou and her mom had went to go visit Rin and Sousuke in Australia.

It was the first time that Rin had invited them out there and she had been incredibly ecstatic, excited to see where her brother had grown up without her. Apparently she had also been doing research on the muscles of Australia’s Olympic team, the pictures of which had ended up taped to the wall of the locker room. Written beneath it in big capital letters was the word GOALS. But yes, Kou was excited to see Rin. For the most part, anyways. 

“Aye aye, captain!” Nagisa saluted, giving Makoto a big smile. “She was super bummed she missed you two.” 

“The five of us will have to do something when we come back next time.” Makoto nodded. A large overhanging clock turned to twelve and thrummed through the entire airport. 

“Makoto.” Haru tugged on his sleeve, indicating that they needed to get going. 

“Well, I guess this is goodbye!” Makoto smiled warmly. “We will visit soon, promise.”

“Have a safe flight, honey. Don’t you dare forget to call me when you land.” 

“Of course not, Mom.”

“Bye-bye Onii-chan.” 

“Bye-bye Haru-chan.”

“Let us know when you guys are free for the next Iwatobi date night!” 

“Safe travels, Haruka-senpai, Makoto-senpai!” 

After Mrs. Tachibana planted yet another kiss on each of their cheeks, Haru and Makoto left with smiles, their arms aching by the time they finally went around the corner and let their goodbye waves fall. 

“Oh, Haru, this is for you.” Digging into his pocket, Makoto pulled out two neatly folded pieces of paper and handed one of them to Haru. “My brother and sister drew us matching pictures.” His heart thumped with an emotional pang, and Haru almost couldn’t bring himself to look down. Almost. 

Drawn in crayon was a picture of a black cat, its large eyes matching the color of his own as it frowned forward. In the corner were the words “to Haru-chan, love Ren and Ran”. When looking over, he saw that Makoto’s was a big brown puppy, tongue falling out and eyes an intense green. The same signature was in the corner. 

“I told them you’d probably frame it.” Makoto teased, reaching over to grab Haru’s hand. 

“Of course.” Haru pulled him closer. He already knew a place on his fridge where he would hang it.

“Leaving always sucks.” Makoto sighed. 

“Yeah.” Haru agreed. Maybe it wasn’t just Makoto who had issues with homesickness. “It does.” They stepped onto the hanger that would take them to Tokyo together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a bit shorter than normal, but I didn't have it ready for the last chapter and it doesn't fit in very well with the next chapter. It was just easier to give it its own space, to be honest! 
> 
> Speaking of next chapter, we get to see Rin again! Him and Haru have _quite_ the conversation. As of right now, I do have about half of the chapter written already so I should probably have it posted in about a week. 
> 
> In the meantime, I wish you all well and will see you next time!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I said that I would probably have the next chapter out in a week, but i ALSO told myself that this wasn't going to be that long of a chapter. Apparently I lied to both of us. 
> 
> In any case, today marks a year since I started posting this fic! Wow can't believe it's been that long already. And look at how far we've come! When we started out Makoto was an asshat with a girlfriend and Haru was a painful puddle of sadness! Now look at them, all in love and in fluff hell. 
> 
> I'm actually really happy this chapter ended up being the anniversary chapter because I've been looking forward to writing it for a very long time. I had this part with Rin planned out way in the beginning, and the ending of the chapter (and what follows) is in my top five moments for this fic!  
> Of course, I won't spoil anything for all of you!  
> Just know that I think (and hope) that you all will be left both satisfied and eager for the next chapter. 
> 
> Thank you all for your lovely support this past year <3 972 kudos is no easy feat, and i never expected so much! You're amazing and wonderful and couldn't have done it without you!

“So how’s life going, loverboy?” Rin’s greeting as their Skype call connected sounded as cocky as it looked, the red head’s eyes raised suggestively while he looked right at Haru. 

To respond, all Haru could think of was to tell him to shut up, distracted that his face was getting warm and mad that his cheeks were turning pink. He seemed unable to keep his face his normal color anymore, always turning red at the smallest provocation these days. 

“That good, eh?” Rin laughed, leaning into his palm. While Haru sat against the wall beside his bed, snuggled in his blankets, Rin sat with his legs crossed on his own bed, leaning forward into his laptop. In a huff, Haru turned his head to the side. He contemplated the idea of slamming his computer shut. “Oh, don’t be like that Haru.” 

“Like what?” Haru asked, feinting innocence. He was well aware how difficult he could be. 

“Like you.” Rin gestured towards all of him with a flashy wave of his hand. “Smile a little! You and Makoto are dating now!” Before he could stop himself a little smile did appear on his face, and Rin leaned back looking quite satisfied. “That’s more like it.” 

“You’re so annoying.” Haru shook his head, taking time to look down at his keyboard before looking back at Rin. 

“Hey, excuse me if the last time I saw your face you were crying because your whole life was falling to shit. It’s nice to actually see that you’re happy sometimes. God forbid I get chewed up for _caring_.” Haru thought Rin was being a _touch_ overdramatic, since it wasn’t as if this was their first time talking since then. But this was _Rin_ , and well, when wasn’t he overdramatic really? Even still, Haru couldn’t help but role his eyes. 

“Thanks.” And because he knew that Rin probably _was_ worried, he decided that he might as well give him something to chew on. “Things are… good. Now, is there an actually reason you wanted to talk tonight orr…?” Haru let his voice fade at the question, raising his brow at Rin. He had other things to do, like sit in a bath or procrastinate on homework. Both of which, of course, included a slight low-key freak and thoughts about Makoto. 

“Geeze, does a guy need a reason to talk to his best friend?”

“I thought Sousuke was your best friend.” Haru reminded him. 

“Well, he is. But you’re like the other best friend. The one I’m not sleeping with.” 

“Thank fucking god for that.” Haru fiddled with his toes under his blanket. “How… are things over there, by the way?” 

“Oh my god Haru. Are you actually taking an interest in my life?” Rin dramatically started to fan himself, as if he was about to faint from the news.

“Fuck off.” Haru narrowed his eyes. If Rin was physically there he’d probably kick him. 

“Okay okay. Things are good. Great, actually. No complaints. Did I tell you Kou and mom came over to visit?” Rin perked forward at this revelation, almost looking like a dog. Haru would peg him as a Doberman. “It was so great, showing them around. Taking them to see the team might have been a mistake, though. Kou took so many pictures… so many.” He paused, as if having flashbacks. “Besides that, though, it’s pretty much been the same. Training. Sousuke. School. Training... Sousuke. You know, the usual. What about you? I heard you went to back home last weekend?” 

“You know, if Makoto already tells you what we’ve been doing you don’t need to ask me about it too.” Rin shrugged at this. 

“It’s not like I’m not used to it. You two have been joined to the hip since I met you, so.” Haru scowled. 

“It’s bothersome.” 

“Oh come on, babemufflin.” Rin clasped his hands together, batting his eyelashes. “Tell me about you’re weekend.” 

“Do _not_ call me that.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is that a special name only for Makoto?” 

“Don’t make me swim all the way to Australia to kick your ass.” Haru scowled, his face burning. He threw his blankets off in the sudden intense heat, wondering if it was possible to hear rapid heartbeats through a computer screen. He hoped not. 

“Hmm.” Rin grinned. As much as he hated it, Rin probably enjoyed teasing Haru just as much Haru enjoyed teasing him. “Speaking about your babemuffin-“

“-I swear to god-“

“What are the big birthday plans?” Reaching across to his bedside table, Rin came back moments later with a bag of popcorn. He tossed a couple into his mouth. “This will be the first birthday since you guys started dating. _Any special plans_?” Rin wiggled his eyebrows. Haru glared at him. 

“I have… a few things in mind.” Haru repeated the same answer he had given Mrs. Tachibana, resisting the urge to smother the screen with a pillow when Rin arched his eyebrows at him. 

“And that would be?” 

“Well…”

“What?”

“Don’t laugh.” Of course, just him saying that was enough to cause Rin to snicker. At Haru’s look he held his hands up in apology, not actually looking sorry at all. “I mean it, okay?”

“Jeeze, I get it already.” Rin stuck a pretzel in his mouth and gave him an encouraging look to continue. Haru took a deep breath, playing with his fingers as he worked to vocalize his thoughts. 

“What’s sex like?” 

If Rin would have been drinking, he would have spat it out all over the room. Instead he began to choke, the remains of his snack swallowed painfully in his dramatic reaction to Haru’s words. Haru pouted, sinking into his mattress as Rin began spluttering. 

“W-wait so you guys haven’t… you know… “ Rin’s voice got low, as if someone might overhear them. “...fucked?” Haru shook his head shyly. He contemplated whether or not it was worth asking Rin. 

“Oh my god you guys are still virgins…!” Rin shook his head, the news slowly setting in. He rubbed at his temples. “You and Makoto are literally the posterboys for the slow-build relationship. It’s been what, 19 years?”

“S-shut up.” 

“Have you two done _anything_?” Rin asked, now his voice becoming more curious then anything. 

“Of course!” In a desire to prove he wasn’t _that_ inexperienced, Haru said it rather loud and quick, the two words energetically bouncing around his bedroom. The result was both him and Rin blushing like idiots, caught in a silence that they themselves had made awkward. 

“We’ve done… things.” Haru continued quietly, deliberately not looking at Rin. “And it’s not like I don’t _want_ to have sex with Makoto. But it’s a big step.” Both for their relationship, and Haru in general. He didn’t do well when it came to vulnerability. Even if it was with Makoto, he couldn’t help but feel anxious.

“But now you feel like you’re ready.” Rin nodded, following Haru along his train of thought. He itched his cheek, a smile starting to form. “You know, birthday sex is pretty great.” 

“Thanks for the input.” Haru pulled his blankets close, burying his face into the fluff. He could practically feel the embarrassment from this entire conversation sizzling off of him. Rin must have been able to sense how he felt somewhat, for his expression grew soft.

“It’s not that big of a deal that you haven’t done it yet. I think it’s rather… sweet. Very you and Makoto. Waiting for the right time is _never_ a bad thing, Haru.” 

“Thanks Rin.” Haru sighed, warmed by the comment because he knew Rin honestly meant it. 

“Do you… know what to expect?” Rin asked delicately. 

“Yeah, sort of. I did… some research.” 

“So you know what goes in where.” Rin laughed, leaning backward to stretch his back. “It’s a good start. Make sure you have condoms. And lube. Lube is your friend.” 

“Does it really hurt?” Haru’s stomach dropped a little when he watched Rin bite his lip, his expression wary. That wasn’t exactly the reassurance he was looking for. 

“It… can,” Rin said slowly, “if not done properly. But as long as you prepare carefully and take things slow it-“ Rin paused, frowning. “You know what, fuck it. Haru. It’s gonna hurt. I’ll tell you right now. It would be stupid to tell you otherwise. Not only is it your first time, Makoto’s a big guy and if he’s anything like Sousuke…”

Haru was grateful when Rin decided that that information was a little _too_ much. The last thing he needed was to be able to picture Sousuke’s dick. With a cough and a blush to match his hair, Rin continued. 

“Just…make sure you’re prepared well. Use the lube, for god sake. There’s no such thing as too much. Make a fucking slip and slide if you have to. Sex isn’t about one person, it’s about both of you. It’s no fun if only one of you is enjoying it.” Haru frowned. 

“How do I make sure?” Rin looked at him for a moment, probably deciding on what to say, and how much to share. Haru was finally coming to terms that he was asking for sex tips. 

“Listen to him.” The redhead finally said. “Sounds are very telling. If he’s feeling good, you’ll know it.” Haru nodded, but inside he still wasn’t so sure. He knew Makoto’s body well enough, all the places he liked to be touched and the ways in which to do so, but there were still places he didn’t know well, and those were the parts that worried him. 

His unsureness must have showed because Rin leaned forward, as if he was just about to pat him on the back. Instead he just pat the top of his laptop. “You worry too much. You’ll figure it out, when the time comes. Don’t forget, I’m sure Makoto has thought about this stuff too.” 

“You think so?” Haru asked. 

“Haru.” Rin shook his head. “The man has been in love with you for _forever_. I would be highly surprised if he hasn’t thought about fucking you at least once. If nothing else, he has at least looked up how to have sex with a man.” 

“Right…” There was… actually something really encouraging in that thought, even if it was in the crudeness of Rin. It didn’t eliminate the pressures of their first time, but it did make if feel a little less strenuous on his shoulders. Whatever would happen, they could figure it out together. 

“It’ll be fine.” Rin smiled encouragingly. 

“What does it feel like?” Haru asked quietly after a while, deciding to say fuck it and just _ask_. It’s not like they hadn’t crossed into the deep end by talking about this anyways. More than the others, it was probably the thought that had bothered him the most. Websites may explain the method, but they didn’t express the moment. Rin tapped the side of his laptop, eyes narrowed in thought. 

“You know how you feel when to are about to dive into the water for the relay? It’s sort of like that. Sex is exhilarating… Intense. Intimate.” Haru found his pulse throbbing in his veins with each word Rin added. “There’s really nothing like it.” 

“You really love him, don’t you?” Before Haru knew, he was saying it, embarrassing him and Rin both as he abruptly moved the spotlight to the other side of the screen.  
“Who Sousuke?” Haru nodded. There had been something on Rin’s face that had made the thought come to him. His eyes had been too adoring, too honest to be false. To be honest, he probably wouldn’t have asked Rin about any of this at all if he didn’t think it was true. No matter how much Sousuke unnerved him, their relationship was never something he had doubted. 

“I mean yeah, I guess.” Rin rubbed the back of his head, looking as if he was guilty of something. “He’s pretty cool, if you’re into the tall, brooding type.” Haru smirked.

“Yeah, sounds like babemuffin material to me.” Rin’s eyes lit up in horror. How could he not have seen that coming back to bite him in the ass was beyond Haru. 

“Haru-“ the clicks of a knob sent them into sudden silence, Sousuke appearing in Rin’s room a few moments later. He was just about to pull off his shirt when he noticed Rin and Haru nearly dying from concealed laughter in their respective places. For a guy with no sense of direction, he was really good at bad timing. 

“Speaking of him.” Haru raised his eyebrows suggestively. “I guess he’s out of the oven.” He was going to hell for this, but it was all too worth it to care. Rin seemed to be in the same boat, jumping from embarrassed to amused in seconds. Clutching his stomach, the redhead pressed his forehead to the keyboard as he lost himself in giggles from Haru’s expression. 

To them, this was probably the funniest thing in the world, but to Sousuke, who was lost in on the joke, they looked like a couple of idiots who were in desperate need of sleep. To be fair, they were probably both. Didn’t make it any less funny. 

“What are you two going on about?” Sousuke asked, his expression reflecting that he already regretted asking. 

“Your sex life.” Haru deadpanned, because honestly, having to say that out loud was well worth the disgustedly embarrassed expression of Sousuke and Rin smothering his own face with a pillow in a pathetic attempt to hide himself. 

“We were _not_!” Rin protested. 

“Um, pretty sure his dick was mentioned.” 

“That’s because you asked!” Sousuke’s eyes went wide at that, and his entire body froze, like maybe if he didn’t move he could just vanish where he stood. Meanwhile Haru was spluttering, looking at Rin with murderous eyes because that was _not_ the subject of the conversation, thank you very much!

“Not about _him_.” Haru gestured at the screen, scowling. 

“Don’t worry, Sou. I only showed a couple of pictures.” Sousuke looked like he was living a nightmare for a second, but then deciding he might as well join in. 

“As long as it was the good ones.”

“Oh my god.” Haru covered his face. “I hate you. I hate both of you. I did _not_ ask to see pictures of your dick.” 

“Well, now that he’s here, I can show you the real thing.” Rin reached for the belt of Sousuke’s pants, beginning to undo the belt loop. 

“Goodnight!” Haru slammed his laptop shut, his body now way too awake from the conversation to go right to bed. He sat there for a moment, tried to calm down, and then sighed. “Shit.” He ran his hands through his hair, now hoping he wasn’t going to have nightmares about Sousuke tonight. Well, even if he did, Haru wasn’t going to regret talking to Rin. The idiot may be an asshole sometimes, but he still had made him feel better. 

Grabbing his phone, Haru texted him _thanks._ before shoving everything aside and stripping his shirt off. If he wasn’t going to sleep, he might as well take a bath. 

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

That Thursday afternoon on Makoto’s birthday, Haru found himself waiting outside Makoto’s school with his stomach in knots. His fingers, wrapped tightly around the strap of his duffle bag, pet at the material aimlessly while his eyes went from examining his shoes to the area Makoto would be coming from. With each shift, he was reminded of was inside and had to fight yet another bout of nervousness. 

Though rather unheavy itself, the meaning of the contents inside made the weight of the bag increase tenfold. 

Clothes for tomorrow. 

Makoto’s birthday present. 

Lube and condoms. 

One set was clearly not like the other and made him have to hide underneath the bangs of his hair anytime he made contact with anyone walking around campus. Haru wasn’t sure why, but every time eyes met his it was like they instantly _knew_ what he was planning. 

Haru would been in denial if he thought he wasn’t scared. 

It wasn’t having sex with Makoto that made him uneasy, however. Haru knew that he wanted this, more than anything. He craved the intimacy like he craved the water, so much so that an image of a naked Makoto sprawled across the bed, panting, wet and wanting, was becoming a rather _problematic_ vision of his. Never before Makoto had Haru thought about sex. Now he was thinking about it more with every passing day. 

No, what twisted his stomach was the fear how today would play out, and more importantly, his ability to execute it all. Words were never his strong suit, and Haru was sure that come later this evening, his mouth would stall and he wouldn’t be able to covey himself effectively. Makoto could understand his mind, but not always his lips. The thought of messing up was what made his palms sweat, and his anxiety peek.

“Haruka-chan!” Distracted with his thoughts, the voice barely registered before Mei, of all people, came crashing into him. By some luck, Haru saved himself from falling under her weight. “It’s been forever!” Scowling down at her, Haru was quick to pull her off. “Oh come on, don’t say you don’t remember me.” Mei pouted, putting her hands on her hips. 

“You’re Mei.” He said with a sigh. “From Halloween.” Mei instantly grew brighter again. 

“Yes! And you’re Makoto’s cute little cat boy.” She giggled in spite of the death-glare Haru was giving her. He had on that very day decided to never think about that costume again, thank you very much. He didn’t need reminders. 

“Have you seen him?” Haru asked, probably a bit too cold. This didn’t seem to bother Mei though, the girl bouncing on her heels with a hum. 

“Who Mako-chan? I just had class with him. I think he had to go run something to a professor quick. I’m sure he will be out soon.” Haru nodded to this, leaning back against the wall and adjusting the strap.

It was then out of the corner of his eye that he saw her, black hair tied in a braid that danced around the back of her jacket. Hiromi. She wasn’t alone, gathered in a group of five around a bench on campus. He recognized one of them as Zuki. 

“What are you looking at?” Mei asked him with a concerned expression, noticing the look of apprehension that fell over his face. As if he didn’t have enough already. She followed the line of Haru’s gaze and took notice of Hiromi. “Oh.” 

Hiromi must have sensed them looking, standing up straighter from her lazed position and looking from left to right. It only took her a moment to find him, their eyes finding each other. Haru immediately shrank from the blue abyss, hiding beneath his hair. This was definitely the last thing he need right now.

“Fuck.” Haru whispered under his breath, clenching his fist in his jacket. The last time he had seen Hiromi was when she had told him to stop seeing Makoto. Even though Haru often frequented Makoto’s university, luck had been on his side to where their paths never had crossed. Well, so much for that. 

“Ex-girlfriends suck.” Mei sympathized, patting his arm. “I’m sure she won’t come over. Probably.”

“Probably.” Haru repeated. When he looked back up at her, Hiromi was back to looking at her friends, and he reminded himself to breathe properly. That was, of course, until he lost air entirely as she started to walk over, one of her friends beside her. Probably his ass. 

“Oh.” Mei spoke again. “Oh boy. Umm…” Haru shot her a look, half annoyed, half grateful she was here as a witness as Hiromi stopped in front of them. 

“Hello Haruka-kun.” Hiromi nodded her head forward politely, hands clutched tightly together in front of her, a white piece of paper in her grip. Her friend stood close to her, arms crossed as she looked Haru up and down. He couldn’t help but wonder all the stories she had heard about him. Haru doubted there was much good ones. _Manstealer_ was a word that popped into his head. 

“Hi.” He nodded to her as well. Against his shoulder, the strap of his bag felt uncomfortably hot and heavy. Even though it was thick and definitely not see-through, he felt like Hiromi knew exactly what was inside. He had half a mind to throw it away and pretend that the thing didn’t belong to him. 

“It’s been a while.” Hiromi appeared to be trying to fight her own awkwardness as hard as she could, even going as far as smiling kindly at him. “How are you?” 

“Fine.” Deciding that he wasn’t allowed to act like a child forever, he finally looked up at her. “things are… good.”

“Waiting for Makoto-kun, I suppose?” she reached up and tucked a loose strand behind her ear. Haru couldn’t help but tense at his name, but it was clear he wasn’t the only one who had a reaction. 

“Hiromi.” Her friend whispered as she grabbed Hiromi’s arm, a look of concern clear on her face. “You don’t-.”

“It’s okay, Karin.” Hiromi brushed her hand away gently. “I’m fine. This is my choice.” Looking at Haru, she held out the paper to him. He took it, realizing it wasn’t just paper but an invitation. “In a few weeks, a bunch of us on campus are throwing a huge bonfire on the beach. It’s sort of a tradition to have a big party before we have to start studying for finals. It…” she paused, as if she needed to be sure of what she was going to say next. “Well, it would be great if you could come. You and Makoto-kun, of course. Together.” 

Haru looked down at the invitation he held, taken in the exclamation points and bolded text on the card without really seeing it. 

“You’re talking about The Inferno, right?” Mei piped up, looking at Hiromi. Apparently all second-hand awkwardness fell away in prospect of a campus party. “I went last year! Damn, those senpai’s really know how to throw a party. You should think about it, Haruka-chan.” Mei elbowed him, wiggling her brows. “Let the cat out of the bag, if you know what I mean.” 

“I’ll talk to Makoto about it.” Haru said after a moment. Though not an official yes, this response seemed to be enough for Hiromi. 

“Don’t force yourself.” Hiromi nodded. “I know this isn’t you’re thing. But I think you guys would have some fun. We’ll be near the ocean, you know. It’ll be too cold to go swimming in it but well… I’m sure you’re willing to prove us wrong.” She smiled, grabbing her friends hand as she backed away. “Think about it. Have a good day, Haruka-kun.” 

Haru simply nodded as the two turned around and returned to the group from which they came from, all of them surrounding Hiromi as if she had her own gravity. Bit by bit, Haru could feel the balloon that had stayed inflated in his chest during the whole conversation deflate. He let out a sigh. 

“Well, it could have been worse.” Mei’s shrugged as if he had said something for her to respond to. “She could have slapped you or something. I suppose this is her way of saying she’s fine with how things turned out.”

Haru looked at Mei, at Hiromi’s back, and then at the invitation. From the way things had turned out, he supposed this was true. Still, Hiromi wasn’t the first thing he wanted to mention when he saw Makoto, especially on his birthday. Being careful to not let any of the contents of the bag be known, Haru shoved the invitation into his duffle. As far as he was concerned right now, it was future him’s issue to deal with. 

“Are you going to go?” Mei asked, peering up with a curious look. 

“If Makoto wants to.” Was his response. Before he could be asked more about it, Haru was offered respite as the reason he was here in the first place finally came into sight.  
“Haru!” Makoto waved happily, walking across campus towards their direction. His dopey grin pushed the issue at hand even further from his mind, and Haru was quick to offer a small smile in return. 

“Well, I guess that’s my cue to leave.” Mei winked towards them both as Makoto stopped next to Haru. “Have a good birthday, Mako-chan, and Have fun, boys~. Don’t do anything too crazy. Remember to ask yourselves, ‘what would Mama Mei-chan do?’.” Blowing a kiss for them to share, Mei left. She seemed to be one of dramatic exists, apparently. 

“Is she always like this?” Haru asked. Makoto laughed. 

“Pretty much.” 

“Reminds me of Nagisa.” Naturally starting to walk in unison, the two of them made their way off campus.

“You may be onto something there. Sorry I was late. I had to run something to my professor. You weren’t waiting too long, I hope.” Haru shook his head. 

“Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t by myself, anyways.” Makoto’s response to this was a happy hum. Haru wasn’t sure if Makoto had just had a good day, or the prospect of them being together all night was making him like this, but either way it made him feel blessed to see it. 

“Makoto?” he said gently, pulling them to a stop as they turned the corner. 

“Hmm?” Haru stood on his tiptoes and kissed Makoto on the cheek. 

“Happy birthday.” 

 

 

“So where are we going?” Makoto asked. Their bags dropped off at Makoto’s apartment, the two of them were once again on the streets, Haru leading Makoto by the hand as they continued to past older buildings. It was a way unfamiliar to both of them, as it went in the opposite direction of both the train station and Makoto’s university. Haru only knew where he was going because he had memorized directions. 

“You’ll see.” Haru didn’t need to look to know Makoto was pouting, but did so anyways, enjoying every inch of those puffed up cheeks. Taking a left and pausing to make sure the road was clear, Haru tugged Makoto part-way up the side-walk before pulling them to a stop. 

Shoved between a pet grooming salon and hardware store was a small restaurant, sheltered beneath a white and yellow awning. Written across the fabric was the name of the place in fancy lettering. Through the large windows, decorated on either side of the door, they could see a few couples already seated at tables. 

The atmosphere inside was pleasant, not quite fancy but not unkempt, as guests were swirled around by waitresses with trays on their hips and smiles on their faces. Haru would have described it as one of contentment, a restaurant made for everyone who entered to feel comfortable in their own skin. It would never become some famous place talked about in magazines, but it didn’t seem like that mattered much. While their own menu mostly consisted of sandwiches and soups, they did have a big display of homemade sweets as well. 

“This is nice.” Makoto smiled, lowering his menu a while after they had been seated. “How did you find it?”

“My… teammates dragged me here a few weeks ago.” Haru shrugged, grimacing a bit at the memory.

“Oh really?” Makoto looked amused. 

“They’re idiots. Somebody mentioned getting food, and then the next thing I know I was being shoved into the train and we ended up here. I didn’t even say I wanted to come.” Haru took a sip of the water the waiter had brought him out of his straw, chewing on the end in agitation. 

“Sounds fun.” Makoto continued to smile. 

“It was fine.” Haru refused to agree that maybe he had had a bit of fun and that watching Yuki make an ass out of himself was rather entertaining. 

“Hmm, well we are here so you must have liked something about this place.” Makoto swirled his straw with his finger. 

“Nori said that the sweets were pretty good.” Haru continued quietly. “I thought you might like to try them too.” Affectionate green eyes softly gazed at him. “It’s on me so… get what you want.” 

When the waiter came to get their orders the two of them did just that, Haru ordering a tuna club while Makoto decided on the baked chicken sub. As they waited for their meal they helped themselves to hard rolls that were set on the table. 

From there, they discussed little things. Their day, how classes were going, things that they had thought about today. Haru listened intently as Makoto expressed his concern for an upcoming project, while he himself tried to illustrate the new style of swimming his coach had him try. Since his greatest strength was his hips, he was shown how to pivot them differently to give himself more power. 

Haru himself wasn’t a huge fan of it, if he was perfectly honest. It made him think too much and feel aware of his body. When he swam, he’d rather lose himself to the water and feel part of it then be something distinct. He had never been one who cared for technique and thought. It was all feeling for him, and no new style would ever be worth more than that. Still, if it was required of him, he would at least give it a shot. 

When their food arrived, Haru and Makoto dug into their plates greedily, both famished for their own separate reasons. He found that he didn’t have much to complain about in taste, though he was positive the meal would have tasted even better if the fish would have been mackerel and not tuna. Makoto said he was being ridiculous but, well, was he wrong? In any case, what mattered most about this place was the sweets, not the meal. 

“What one do you want?” Haru asked, watching as Makoto’s eyes scanned across the desserts in very deep thought. 

“Hmm… they all look so good~!” After a long five minutes of contemplating, Makoto chose a large chocolate truffle cake slice, topped with a huge mound of fudge frustrating and dripped over with fresh strawberries. He grimaced at the size of Makoto’s first bite, wondering how on earth his best friend had gotten by all these years without any cavities. Makoto, of course, noticed him staring. 

“Do you want to try?” already Makoto was scooping up a piece of cake onto his work, folding it out for Haru to eat. Biting his lip as it suddenly felt like all eyes were on him, Haru leaned forward and quickly took the fork into his mouth. The chocolate was sugary on his tongue and the strawberries made it sweet, the combination balancing well enough together that Haru found he didn’t dislike it. 

“How is it?” Makoto asked. 

“…good.” Humming as he took another bite, Haru watched as Makoto continued to eat his cake, the blush on his face never quite leaving him. He decided that looking at the table was a much safer option. 

After dinner, the two of them took their time heading back to the apartment, hands lazily connected between them as they walked back as dusk started to turn to night. Far in the horizon, though mostly hidden by the buildings and homes around them, the sky stretched with orange before fading into the darkened ground. 

It was cold for sure, but walking like this with Makoto was enough to keep the cold off of him for a while. They didn’t talk much- maybe a mumble passing through their lips here or there. Being together was enough of a comfort, and there was no need for talking to make the walk more comfortable. 

Eventually the night covered them and the wind was enough to force them back to warmth, their feet luckily having enough commonsense to not stray them too far from Makoto’s apartment.

“I’ll make us some cocoa.” Makoto promised with a hum as they returned, both of them sliding their shoes off in familiarity. Haru’s first reaction was to worry- Makoto had burned enough things on the stove to create such a reaction in him- but he settled as he remembered it could be made in the microwave. 

While he waited for Makoto to make the beverage, Haru wondered over to the windows and peered out. Though forgotten most of dinner, Haru’s heart was once again pumping with anxiety as he knew his plans were drawing ever closer. 

He could already feel the warm breath of Makoto as he trailed hot kisses down his neck, could feel the soft yet urgent placement of his hands on his hips. They would start slow, of course, like they always did, but then Haru would grow impatient and Makoto would become needy. Clothes would fly off, shirts then pants, until they would be laying together, bodies pressed and dicks wanting and-

“Here you go Haru.” Haru jumped a little at Makoto’s interruption, then took the warm mug offered to him with a guilty expression. “You okay?” Of course Makoto would be concerned. 

“Yeah, fine. I was just… distracted.” Well, it’s not like it was a lie. So he didn’t have to say anything more, he pressed the cocoa to his lips. He ignored how heated his skin felt and the slight tightness he felt in his jeans. 

“The sky is pretty clear tonight.” Makoto said, looking over Haru’s head and out the window. 

“Yeah. Usually you don’t get to see so many stars here.” Haru followed the stars with his eyes for a minute before taking a deep breath, holding his cup close to himself as he walked back towards the couch. Makoto stayed for a couple of moments longer, he head held up with deep thought. 

Haru left him to himself for a moment, instead finding how own joy in watching the subtle movements that Makoto made. He watched his throat bobble as Makoto swallowed, following the shift from his right to his leg as he adjusted his position. The way he stood was relaxed; comfortable. Though silent, Haru could practically feel the hum reverberating off of him. 

It was obvious to him that Makoto was happy, and that made the feeling feel mutual. 

“Makoto.” Haru spoke quietly, fingering the rim of his mug. He could feel his heart beat against the ceramic. 

“Hmm?” Makoto looked around at him with a smile, finally leaving the window and coming over to join him. 

“I want to give you your present.” 

“Present?” Makoto faked surprise, as if the idea would have never crossed his mind. Still, his expression was obviously excited, as if he had been waiting on this all day. Haru thought it was much like a puppy, knowing that it would soon get a treat and trying desperately not to beg for one as it waited. 

“Yes.” Setting his drink down, Haru got up and went over to where his duffle bag sat. With a bit of effort, Haru extracted a medium-sized package, wrapped up in green-starred wrapping paper. He was careful to keep all the other contents out of sight of Makoto, using his own body as sort of a shield. The last thing he needed was to pull the present out and have a bottle of lube clatter between them. 

“You’re always so good at wrapping things.” Makoto praised, taking the present as Haru walked over to hand it to him. 

“I’m good with my hands.” Haru shrugged, and Makoto looked up with a wiggle to his brow. 

“Yes you are.” He agreed. 

“Just open the present!” Haru sputtered, deliberately looking away before he burst into flames from embarrassment. Leave it to Makoto to remember some of the _other_ things his hands were good at. 

Once Makoto started ripping at the paper Haru looked back again, watching as he carefully tore the green paper away to reveal what was inside. Sitting there was a large, knitted scarf, fluffed and beautifully stitched. At the ends of the scarf was a pale, tan color that flowed across the fabric into a slightly darker shade. All throughout were specks of white and brown, dotted without pattern. It looked as soft as it did warm. 

As he peeled away the last of the paper Makoto reached forward and gently ran his fingers down the knitted string, pressing down to feel the plush against his palms. 

“It’s very soft.” He complimented, eyes open wide in wonder. “You didn’t make this, did you?” Haru shook his head. He might have tried, if he had had enough time. Truth was, he barely was able to greet Makoto’s birthday with a present at all. 

“No. I... saw it in a store on my way to class the other day and thought it would look nice on you.” Haru mumbled, feeling his cheeks burn as the words left his lips. Makoto made it so much worse when he purposely picked up the scarf and wrapped it around his neck. It took two rounds and the result was a very fluffy Makoto. He was right. It suited him perfectly. 

“Does it?” Makoto asked, gently enough that Haru knew there was a smile even if he couldn’t see it. 

“Yes.” Haru nodded, twiddling his fingers. “It matches your hair… and stuff.” 

“I love it.” Makoto began kneading the end with his thumb and pointer-finger. “My other one is nice, but I’ve had it for a while and it’s starting to lose color.” He pulled down some of the scarf so his mouth would show his smile. “I really needed this.” 

“There’s something else. I um… slept with it.” Haru murmured, Makoto’s expression turning from happy to confusion at his words.

“Huh?” 

“At night.” He tried to elaborate. “When I went to bed I wrapped myself up in it and slept in it. That way when you wear it… it would remind you of me.” 

_Fuck it_ was cheesy. He knew it was, even while he was doing it. Hugging it close, nuzzling his face into the fabric, Haru had thought many times of how ridiculous such an idea was. Yet, it made his gift feel important; special. It wasn’t just a scarf he had bought, but instead one he embedded himself with. He had gotten the idea from how much he loved to smell Makoto’s shirts. Part of him hoped that Makoto received the same feeling. 

“Do you ever realize how cute you are?” Makoto pulled the scarf to bury his face, hiding any expression that he might have from Haru. “I seriously can’t take it.” 

“You said you wouldn’t call me that…” Haru pouted. The list of Makoto’s forbidden words was growing by the day. Even so he fell easily into Makoto’s lap as the brunette pulled him over. 

“I lied.” Makoto held him close, nose pressed close to Haru’s ear. “Thank you Haru, I love it. I will wear it every day. Even in the summer.”

“Please don’t.” Haru advised, pulling away to look him in the eye because the last thing he needed was having to take Makoto to the hospital for having a heat stroke. “I don’t need to be mopping up your puddle.” Makoto laughed. 

“Okay, then when it’s practical.” Nodding his approval, Haru leaned forward and kissed Makoto gently on the lips.

“Happy birthday Makoto.” He gave another kiss, harder this time, running his tongue along Makoto’s lower lip. His hand found the back of Makoto’s neck and pulled him closer. 

“Haru.” With a gentle pull Makoto moved Haru’s thigh so Haru was straddling him, Makoto kissing back at him with rising desire, biting at his lip and opening Haru’s mouth for him to enter. Haru hummed from the back of his throat, his fingers tingling as Makoto licked at his tongue and his hips naturally bucked down into Makoto’s crotch. Already he could feel the heat mounting as his dick hardened, Makoto’s hands palming up his back as Haru’s own already did the same. 

His heartbeat was loud in his ears as he kissed a bit rougher, pressing his body tighter against Makoto’s chest. They both bounced into the fabric of the couch, Haru kneeling taller so he could loom over Makoto and kiss down into his mouth, running his hands down the sides of his cheeks. 

He loved this face, this mind, this soul. Haru would have never believed that someone could love like this, that an entire person could mean so much. No more would he have believed that _he_ could ever feel for someone else in this way. He, who three years ago thought the world was nothing. That _he_ was nothing. That young, foolish self would have believed that for forever, if there was nothing to wake him up. 

But now he did. 

Makoto, who was always there to teach him, to stand by his side and help him understand a world that, quite frankly, confused the _hell_ out of him, had shown him the way. 

He taught him what it meant to love. Both sides of it.

The rough stuff, the parts of love that hurt like knives and taught him how to cry until he was numb. Not all love was painless, and not all love bloomed without regrets. Love may feel pure, but that doesn’t make it so. Haru had learned that love was exhausting, heart-wrenching, awful. Love made you want to give up, but all the same made you want to hold on tighter because there had to be, _just had to be_ , a chance that it could be true. It felt like forcing your own stake into your heart, feeling with every inch the splinters that drove towards ending your life. Even so, you keep pushing. With luck, the pain is nothing, _nothing_ compared to the good stuff. 

Haru could easily decide right here, right now, the good stuff was all worth it. The lazy days and the sweet kisses and the intimate touches. Nobody told him that love would be able to warm him like this, to make him feel like he was constantly swimming in a pool of sunlight. He had never felt safer; never felt happier. Haru had never expected there to be a smile that made his own spread, a laugh that made his day brighter, and a touch that would burn him to life but there _was_. Love gave him an embrace that was home, sweet and gentle and _his_.

Love was worth it, _especially_ this love, the one Haru cradled in his hands. It meant more than he could say, and he wanted nothing more than to hold tight to it forever. He would give himself over for this love, and that’s exactly what he hoped to do. All he had to do now was say it. 

“Makoto.” Haru whispered, kisses grazing down Makoto’s cheek. After kissing the corner of his lip he pulled away, hands nearly shaking on Makoto’s shoulders. His heart was beating profusely, thoughts and emotions swirling in his head. “I want more.” 

“More?” Makoto sounded confused, hands resting on Haru’s thighs. Haru sighed, realizing that at this pace he was never going to be able spit the words out. 

“Of you. Of us.” Feeling shy, he leaned forward and buried his face into the crook of Makoto’s neck. His lips felt numb, but he was sure it had nothing to do with how Makoto had been kissing him. “I want to have sex with you.” 

“You... do?” Makoto asked quietly, grabbing Haru’s face and forcing him to look Makoto in the eyes. The expression of them were soft but to Haru they felt nothing but intense, filling him with so much green that he thought he might be smothered. 

“Only if you want to…” 

“Haru I love you.” Makoto kissed him lightly on the mouth. “Of course I want to… Of course.” Haru closed his eyes as Makoto pulled him closer, kissed him deeper. He let his fingers trace along the muscle of Makoto’s neck into his hair, where he cupped the brown locks softly. 

“Me too.” He breathed, opening his eyes. Their kiss breaking, they pressed against each other’s foreheads instead. “I want to be with you.” He wanted to know what it felt like to be completely and irrevocably part of him, to be filled to the brim with the one who made his stars shine. 

Kissing at Makoto’s nose, Haru pulled himself off of Makoto’s lap and made his way towards his bag. Makoto’s eyes followed him, biting his bottom lip with his teeth. 

“I brought… stuff.” Haru informed him, bending down to rummage in the bag. 

“Stuff?” Makoto repeated. Instead of answering him directly, Haru found what he was looking for and held it up. In his left hand was a bottle of lube, not yet opened. In the other was a box of XL condoms. Makoto went bright red in a matter of seconds. 

“Extra-large?” Makoto sputtered, walking over to pick the box from Haru’s hands. Of course Makoto would fucking start reading the label. “Haru, I-”

“Makoto.” Haru raised an eyebrow, deliberately looking at where Makoto’s dick was. “Trust me.” Makoto was smart enough not to argue. His face a good shade of a crimson by now, Makoto turned the box over in his hand, as if making sure it contained what it said it did. 

“A-are you sure this is what you want-“

“Yes.” Haru interrupted, stepping closer to place a hand on Makoto’s arm. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” The worry was clear on Makoto’s face, his green eyes wide with nerves that were not unlike his own. Haru thought about what Rin told him, then stood up on his toes so he could wrap his arms around Makoto’s neck. 

“I want this, Makoto. I did my research. I know what to expect.” He gave a soft smile, hoping it would hide his own anxiety and calm Makoto’s. “I still want this all the same. I want _you_.” Makoto gave a big sigh, his shoulders relaxing. 

“I want this too.” He murmured. 

“Then why are we still out here?” Haru set himself back down to the flats of his feet, now grabbing Makoto’s unoccupied hand. 

“Bedroom?” a rather mischievous-looking smile passed over Makoto’s lips. 

“Bedroom.” With a simple tug, Haru had Makoto following his footsteps, leading him towards where the bedroom sat. The blood in his system was boiling him hot, but it was a good heat, one that was setting him on fire in the best of ways. 

Then a small thought, a previous image of today that had no business interrupting the moment, brought Haru to an abrupt halt, stopping him and Makoto besides the counter of his kitchen. The moment it struck him, it felt as if two hands had reached out to strangle his throat, making it difficult to breathe. He didn’t understand how the thought had never occurred to him before, but now that it did his mind was in a state of panic. Haru couldn’t do this, not if… 

“Makoto… Did you and Hiromi ever...” Haru’s voice was a cracked whisper and he tried to hide behind the safety of his hair. Makoto forced him out immediately by lifting him up and setting him on the counter, their eyes now level with each other. With a careful gesture, Makoto pushed Haru’s bangs back so he could look right into their oceanic blue. Unable to hide, Haru cast his expression to the side. Makoto looked right at him just the same. 

“No.” Makoto shook his head earnestly. “I never slept with her, not once. How could I?” Haru slowly felt the choking hands leave his neck, and he had enough strength to look back at Makoto. “I was in love with you, not her. It never would have felt right.” 

His eyes stinging with emotion because all of this was too much at once, Haru pulled Makoto forward and hid his face into his stomach. All the nerves and anxiousness for their first time was making him queasy, and now coupled with for a quick second believing that Hiromi had even beat him in his regard made his head pound and the world around him blur. It took him a moment to regain his composure as the exhilaration of everything ran through him and Makoto, without needing to hear any words, understood completely. 

“So you’re still a virgin.” Haru said quietly into Makoto’s shirt, taking a deep breath before looking up at him.

“Yes.” 

“We’re going to be a mess in there.” Two virgins, armed with nothing but basic knowledge of how to do it and some means of protection and lube. What a team they were.

“Maybe.” Makoto chuckled. “But we’ll be together. That’s enough for me.” 

“Yeah.” Haru brought him close for a soft kiss. Makoto was always good at this, calming him down and once again reminding Haru of how much he loved him. “Me too.” 

Suddenly grabbing him behind the thighs, Makoto effortlessly pulled Haru off the counter and into his arms. Panicked, Haru latched onto his neck and held tightly, pressing his nose into Makoto’s cheek. It took his body a good few seconds to realize no, he wasn’t actually going to fall. 

“Don’t… do that!” Haru scolded, pulling away enough to scowl. 

“Sorry.” Makoto laughed, but made no indication of putting him down. Instead he started walking across the kitchen to the bedroom after making sure to grab the lube and condoms. 

“No you’re not…” Haru grumbled.

“You’re right. I’m not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heheh. You guys know what this means, right?  
> The entire next chapter will consist of Makoharu smut and nothing else.  
> I am SO ready. Hope you all are too. 
> 
> Fun fact #1: if you guys don't remember who those two people are from Haru's team, don't worry. I forgot all of their names too. I actually had to go back and find the chapter where I introduce them because they completely slipped my mind. Then, while i was there i ended up scrolling farther back and reading Haru's confession again. Wow this fic was REALLY angsty, wasn't it? Thank god that's over.... right? 
> 
> Fun fact #2: The reason why the restaurant they go to for their date doesn't have a name is because i for the life of me couldn't think of one. All i had was something lame like sweets n' treats or the yellow submarine (haha get it? cause they have subs....) anyway, if any of you have some random suggestions, I might be willing to edit them in! I'll be sure to give you recognition in the next chapter, of course ;) 
> 
> Well, i think I've blabbered on long enough. Thanks for reading guys, and i hope you enjoyed the chapter! 
> 
> Until next time!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I probably spent way too much time writing this chapter. I know it was long for you guys, but it was pretty long for me too. 
> 
> Also, i wrote 14 pages of smut and feel an increased need to go to church and cleanse myself. Doesn't help that i wrote most of this within the company of my cat. It's a good thing cats can't read. 
> 
> anyway, I hope you guys enjoy and sorry about the longish wait!! Enjoy that Makoharu goodness.

As they entered the bedroom, Makoto’s lips just grazed Haru’s forehead as he was gently placed on the bed. Even such a chaste kiss made Haru’s stomach tingle and lurch with anticipation. Because of that feeling, watching Makoto take a step away from him was like being pulled away from the water’s edge just after getting to stick a toe in; it made him grit his teeth in annoyance. Still, Haru grudging let him go, his eyes never leaving Makoto as he pulled himself backwards to the center of the bed. 

By some strange luck, today had been one of the few days where Makoto had actually made his bed, the fabric cleanly folded underneath the mattress. This made it easier for Haru to glide across it smoothly, where he tucked his knees into a kneel. From there he watched as Makoto walked to close the curtains and shut the door. With no light from the hall, the room was covered in darkness. 

This only lasted for a couple moments, however, until a small click echoed and Makoto’s desk light lit from the corner. 

“How’s this?” Makoto asked quietly. 

“Mood-lighting.” Haru smirked, the light enough to show off Makoto’s shy smile. “I like it.” The lamp emitted an amberish color that was bright enough to light some corners of the room in gold and others in shadows, making it feel private and secure. It was intimate. Romantic. Haru found it incredibly endearing. 

As Makoto made his return to the bed Haru was already reaching for him, leaning forward and grabbing him by the neck as he kissed him. Haru hummed at the contact and pressed rather roughly, drawing oxygen from the breath that escaped between Makoto’s lips. Right away Haru began wetting the roof of Makoto’s mouth with his tongue, shivering as Makoto ran his fingers along the skin of his stomach and was slowly pressed onto his back. 

Makoto looming over him sent a sizzle down Haru’s spine, a rush of dizzying exhilaration hitting him as his legs were clenched between Makoto’s thighs. Their kissing grew rushed; hotter. Tongue met with tongue as their mouths opened up to each other, rolling together as lips grew tender. 

Haru had to hold back a moan as the pads of Makoto’s fingers slowly made their way up his stomach, hot and tickling up sensitive skin. Even though the touch was gentle, it burned, Makoto’s presses leaving ignited fires as he traced around Haru’s naval before sliding up the faint lines of his abs to his chest where he grazed a nipple. Haru heart hammered beneath the touch, his body naturally pressing into it like some kind of magnet. The more Makoto pressed, the harder Haru was pulled until his body felt like it could melt from the contact. 

Mouths shamelessly wet, the two of them parted with saliva connected between their lips. Makoto looked as Haru felt, his cheeks flushed and breath uneven against Haru’s skin. In the shadows of the room, his eyes looked like two green coals, bright and smoldering like a fire just getting started. 

“You got something on your face.” Haru whispered quietly, reaching up to wipe some of the leftover saliva from Makoto’s lips. To be honest it was just an excuse to get to touch him, Makoto’s radiance causing his toes to curl. At this Makoto nipped at Haru’s thumb playfully with a small chuckle. 

“So do you.” Makoto wasn’t speaking about the wetness of Haru’s lips but instead his shirt, which in Makoto’s touching escapade had wound itself tightly under his armpits and neck like some kind of scarf. 

“I wonder whose fault that is.” Haru sighed, feinting annoyance. Grabbing a hold of his shirt, Haru slid out of the sleeves in record time and tossed it to some far corner of the room. Where exactly that was, he really couldn’t have cared less. “Is it gone?” he asked. 

“Yeah.” Makoto murmured, and Haru’s hands naturally slid into the brown fluff of his hair as Makoto pressed a wet kiss to his bare stomach. Like his fingers, his mouth trailed upward, leaving a long line of wet marks behind. The touch of his tongue tickled his skin and made Haru’s skin shiver.

“Hah-“ Haru’s mouth made a little “o” shape as teeth soon grazed his nipple, his body naturally grinding up at the contact into Makoto’s crotch while his fingers tugged at Makoto’s hair. Makoto moaned at the sudden movement and pressed the flat of his tongue roughly against the bud before sucking his nipple erect. 

The licks had Haru holding his head back and moaning softly, his breath now pants as Makoto continued to turn his chest pink with his mouth. His body was practically humming, his heart racing as electricity thrummed from the places Makoto kissed all the way down to his dick. 

Haru was all too aware of the tracing fingers on his back and the hot breath against his skin, the little doses of Makoto acting like adrenaline shots that kept him hoping for more. Most arousing, he could feel the mass that was Makoto’s dick against his thigh, already hard even though they hadn’t done anything beyond what they were used to. To say that his own pants were a bit tight was an underestimation of the situation. 

Hands sliding down Makoto’s back, Haru became painfully aware of how much clothing the two of them still had on.

“Take your shirt off.” Breathless, he tugged at the hem of Makoto’s shirt for emphasis. After placing a last kiss on his collar bone, Makoto looked up. 

“Or you could.” he teased, eyes playful. It was loving, of course, but also a bit challenging and Haru couldn’t called himself an athlete if he didn’t feel a bit inspired. Pushing himself forward and maneuvering his legs around Makoto’s waist, Haru more or less found himself sitting on Makoto’s lap. 

He kissed him with a small smile. 

“I _am_ pretty good at stripping.” He kissed Makoto again, this time longer, deeper. His fingers began playing with the top button of his shirt, one of five. “How would you like it done?” With the first button gone most of Makoto’s neck was revealed and Haru took full advantage of it, spreading his fingers out and caressing from his collarbone to his neck. “With my fingers?” He slid a single digit to the second button and held it down, pressing a light kiss to Makoto’s neck. “Or my teeth?” 

Haru could tell Makoto’s reaction from his words from his body alone, the brunette going rigid as Haru fingered the second button undone while licking Makoto’s neck with a gentle scrape of teeth. It wasn’t a moan exactly that managed his way between his lips, but a slow-rumbling purr that excited all parts of Haru. 

Both. Both was good. And the way Makoto was clenching his ass, Haru knew without words that both was wanted. 

Looking at Makoto with a suggestive bite of his own lip, Haru never lost that gaze as he lowered himself and grabbed one side of the shirt with his hand while biting the other with his teeth. Makoto licked his lips. 

Haru tugged. 

Instead of just one, two buttons popped off and exposed Makoto’s muscled torso in a single stroke. All that linked the halves together was a single button now, and Haru took care of that with a simple swipe of his finger. 

Shirt now open, Haru was pushing it off in a rapid movement, palms sliding over the bare of Makoto’s shoulders and down his arms until they were finally free of the shirt. Now chest to chest, Haru pulled Makoto by the back of the head and kissed him with great intensity, biting at Makoto’s lower lip and licking at the mark his teeth left. 

It was crazy how fast desire was overwhelming him, making his heart thunder and the need to touch Makoto grow with every passing second. He had given Makoto his fair share of touching, his chest still tingling with tongue prints. Now Haru wanted to trace him however he desired. 

He decided his lips were a great start. 

Hands roaming over the glorious expanse of Makoto’s back, Haru kissed hard enough to bruise both their lips. Together they became completely breathless, the room filling with wet noises as they continued to penetrate each other’s mouths. 

Haru’s body was starting to leave thought for instinct, pressing a little closer, hands touching a little lower. He followed down the length of Makoto’s spine before hooking fingers in Makoto’s belt loop. 

“Makoto...” Haru breathed softly onto Makoto’s lips with half-lidded eyes. Raising himself, Haru pressed his hips forward and purposely began rubbing their hidden erections against each other. Hot and hard in his own pants, touching Makoto’s similar status was nothing short of sweet bliss. At the contact Haru couldn’t help but give an embarrassing squeak of euphoria, the heat and stiffness of their dicks enough to drive his body crazy. 

Slower and more deliberate, Haru played with the sensation and pressed their dicks together while he half-licked, half-kissed up the side of Makoto’s neck. Makoto’s body shivered with a moan and he practically grinded Haru into himself with his own hands. The noise was low and rough, definitely not a sound that came out of somebody like Makoto, but it did, and Haru knew it was all for him. 

Nothing could have been more of a turn on then such a thought, and Haru thought that maybe, just maybe he was in trouble here. 

“Haru.” Makoto’s use of his name was far more broken, a small breath of pleasure interrupting his voice as Haru continued press against him. “H-Haru… should we maybe…?” 

“Yes.” Haru came to a stop, pulling out of his kiss to look at Makoto. 

“Can I?” Makoto asked, cheeks pink, hands slowly sliding from Haru’s ass to the button of his pants. 

“I-If you want.” Was Haru’s dumb response, because god dammit his heart still went pitter-patter at the thought of his boyfriend wanting to undress him. 

Haru watched as Makoto slowly breached the button, his eyes watching each and every fleck of Makoto’s fingers on the small metal piece. It was aggravating, the slowness Makoto was displaying, Haru’s breath caught in his throat as he _waited_ … waited for more. He craved it, like a pool nearly finished that Haru would soon be able to dive in. 

Haru didn’t want to dip his toes on the surface anymore. He wanted to plunge into the deep end. 

The chinks of his zipper filled the room as Makoto started to unzip him. The sound made him feel dizzy, spinning either himself or the room around in circles. Haru wasn’t sure which. 

“Wearing your swimsuit today.” Makoto commented, as if he was discussing something as mundane as the weather. For who they were, Haru supposed it was. 

“I did have swim practice.” Haru shivered as Makoto’s fingers slid beneath the waistband of his suit and smoothed down his hips because _yes_ , finally they were _moving_. 

“Of course.” He said affectionately. Already wet and hard, Haru’s dick sprang free from its prison with a small slap to his stomach. Compared to where it was, the air was chilly and had Haru sucking in a sudden breath from the brush of it. He then closed his eyes for second as Makoto placed a sweet kiss on his chin and moved him so Haru was once again on his back. 

Makoto was still annoyingly unhurried as he slid Haru’s pants off, pulling them down with a slowness that quickly went from agonizing to unbearable. Haru had no qualms about being naked; he never had. But the process of being stripped, slowly and deliberately made his knees tremble and his cheeks hot.

As Makoto _freaking finally_ pulled the pants off his ankles and threw them somewhere, he gently ran his hands up the outer side of Haru’s legs with so much softness it tickled. Each leg was on either side of him now, bent slightly at the knee and opened so Makoto could easily lean through if he wanted to. 

Makoto took no issue in staring at every little inch of him like this, drinking in the tan lines of previous summers, the curve of his hips, and Haru’s quite obvious arousal like he was making a map. The bright green of the day was gone from his eyes by now, replaced with a darker version that had no shame and hid no desire. He looked at Haru with adoration, but also with lust, like he was trying to find what place he might devour first. The expression sent tingles down Haru’s spine and made his dick throb.

“What is it?” He asked, heart pounding. 

“Just looking.” Was Makoto’s reply, looking embarrassed himself but feeling guilty of nothing. 

“It’s not like it’s your first time seeing me like this.” Haru reminded, though he couldn’t help but grow red the longer Makoto looked. It was embarrassing to be in such a vulnerable position like this, legs open and spread around Makoto himself. 

“I know.” Makoto smiled, fingers reaching up the stroke Haru’s cheek. 

“We used to bathe together until we were like 8.” With pictures to prove it.

“Yeah.” 

“And you’ve sucked my dick.” 

“Y-Yeah…” 

“So stop looking and take your pants off, already.” Makoto laughed then, and Haru was ready to smack him with a pillow. Not five minutes ago he was wondering if he was going to _make it_ to the sex. Now he was thinking of smothering him. 

“ _What_?” he demanded. Makoto just shook his head, leaning forward to press a kiss to Haru’s forehead. Haru accepted it, grudgingly of course. 

“I’m just happy, is all.” That wasn’t the answer Haru expected and it caught him off guard, his heart fluttering in his chest from embarrassment. 

“Come here…” Haru mumbled, face beaming red, and he pulled Makoto closer to himself by the waist of his pants. He was much faster than Makoto, flicking the button open and undoing his zipper within a couple of breaths. As impatient as he was, Haru didn’t stop to appreciate the type of boxers Makoto was wearing or palm the glorious V of his hips. Instead he reached behind the brunette and in one giant tug pushed the pants down as far he could reach in the way they were positioned. 

Makoto’s ass free, Haru greedily ran his hands across the firm buttocks with a knead of his thumbs. Not for the first time, Haru had to wonder if Makoto was some Greek masterpiece sculpted out of stone. There was very little flab and instead tight muscle, a couple of tiny dips along the skin of his butt. Deliberately, he circled his finger around where he knew a small freckle was. Right cheek, near the curve of his ass. 

“I’m happy too.” He murmured, kissing the corner of Makoto’s mouth. “Now take off your pants.” The way they were, Haru couldn’t do much more anyway, and it gave him deep satisfaction to feel Makoto gasp into his mouth at the words. He decided that if Makoto got to stare at his body for a while, then Haru got to too. It was only fair. 

Makoto stripping himself wasn’t nearly as erotic as Haru hoped, the giant orca somehow almost tripping himself as tried pulling his pants off from behind. Yet, it was all very Makoto, silly and innocent and _normal_ , and Haru loved that just as much. This was them, wholly and truly. 

As Makoto regained his balance Haru stifled a laugh, loving the pout that was reflected back at him and the warmth in his chest that came with it. 

What’s more, even with losing his balance, Makoto still had managed to flex some of his more prominent features while he had reached back, and Haru was _definitely_ for that. Absolutely. 

From his neck to his hips, Haru wet his lips as he followed the lines of Makoto’s body, his gaze at long last falling on Makoto’s dick. Swollen in size and pressed to his stomach, it twitched as Makoto took in his stare. He was definitely right in getting the XL condoms, Makoto’s size clear as day despite the dimness of the room. A bit of panic ran through him as he remembered that that would be inside him, but he quickly pushed the insecurity inside as he pulled Makoto back into his arms. 

Skin against skin, both of them hissed as their bodies pressed together and Haru locked his legs around Makoto’s waist. Laying so close, he couldn’t help but press their dicks against each other and rub them together in a sudden, desperate need for touch. The friction was amazingly hot and wound the coil below Haru’s abdomen into knots, breathlessly panting as Makoto sloppily pressed a kiss to his cheek, his nose, and then finally his mouth. 

Haru sucked in his lips as he reached up to run his fingers through Makoto’s hair, letting their hips do the pressing as he smoothed bangs back to see more of his face. His hands preoccupied with holding himself up, Makoto couldn’t do much more then kiss into Haru with all that he could, sometimes breaking them so he could selfishly place chaste ones along the side of Haru’s face. 

It was suffocating in all the good ways, Haru’s mind becoming intoxicated as Makoto made him drunk with his lips. Even as he left him for his body, sucking his nipples wet and leaving red marks with his teeth down his chest, Haru continued to grow dizzy. He forgot that there was a world outside of this and that time continued to move, lost instead on the graze of Makoto’s slightly chapped lips and how smooth Makoto’s hand felt as he moved down his body to kiss at his thigh. 

“Ngh!” Haru squeezed his eyes shut as a moan played on his lips, hands squeezing the sheets as Makoto scrapped teeth against the inner part of his thigh. Makoto had kissed his legs before, but nothing like this and not nearly so close to his leaking dick. “M-Makoto.” Haru’s breath was lost as the brunette pushed his legs open further and slicked his tongue against the skin, unable to stop the small mewls that escaped as Makoto sucked the tender area between his lips. The area was left red and raw, wet with his saliva. 

“I said no marks.” Haru panted breathlessly, his thigh trembling as Makoto continued to kiss up his thigh, wetting yet more marks with mouth. 

“No one else will see these.” Makoto looked up between Haru’s legs. 

“ _I_ will.” Was Haru’s weak protest. Because he really was in a state to argue. 

“Good. Then it will remind you that you’re all mine.” Heat pooled to Haru’s stomach and his dick twitched, Makoto sitting front row to see it all. Embarrassed beyond belief, Haru looked towards the wall like that might somehow cool down his head. 

“..Idiot.” Haru mumbled lamely, only to curve his back with a surprised cry as Makoto’s mouth moved from his thigh to his dick. “Ma…Ma-“ Haru couldn’t seem to find his voice, his mind only seeming able to focus on the places Makoto was going with his tongue. 

Lipping the tip and licking the flat of his tongue along his length, Makoto continued to wet Haru’s dick with suggestive noises. The sensation was enough to arc his head back into the mattress, voiceless moans on his lips, and Haru knew he was in trouble, deep _deep_ trouble because Makoto’s mouth felt amazing and _hot_ and oh _god_ \- 

“ _Hah_ \- Lets do it already!” Haru nearly shouted the words to the room, afraid that if he didn’t they would never get to leave his mouth. He could feel himself nearing the end, and his body throbbed at the neglect as he tried to gently pry Makoto off of his dick. 

“You sure?” Makoto asked, kneeling back and tracing gentle shapes on Haru’s legs. There was hesitation in his touch. 

“Yeah.” Haru’s responded quietly, eyes lidded. He wasn’t sure what was beating faster, his heart or the area between his legs. Makoto bent forward, pressing a loving kiss to Haru’s knee. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes spoke a lot. Excitement. Lust. Nerves. 

Haru understood all of those. 

Propping himself up with his elbows, Haru sat up and pressed a tender kiss onto Makoto’s chin. He then reached over to where the bottle of lube sat and held it in the small space between them. 

“You’re supposed to spread me open.” Haru whispered quietly, ears burning. He flicked the cap open. “So it’ll… go in easier.” 

“Mm.” Makoto nodded, pressing his forehead against Haru’s while Haru started to unravel Makoto’s fingers. Together they watched as Haru flipped the bottle over and squirted the substance into Makoto’s hand, neither quite sure exactly how much was needed in the first place. To be fair, most of Haru’s advice came from Rin, and while _“make a fucking slip-and-slide if you have to”_ was quite the visual, it wasn’t exactly a unit of measurement he could follow. Haru just settled for a lot, putting the bottle somewhere nearby while Makoto started squishing it between his pointer finger and thumb to wet his hand. 

Closing his eyes, Haru made sure that their next kiss was gentler, sweeter. He leaned in with a careful press and moved their lips slowly together, savoring the moment so he could burn it into his mind and remember it for years to come. When the kiss broke, Haru pressed his nose against Makoto’s, nuzzling it softly. Then without a word, the two returned to their previous positions and Haru was once again pressed down onto the bed. 

“I love you Haru.” Makoto whispered, looking down at him with eyes that looked like fireflies. Haru wanted to reach out and catch them, the amber hue mesmerizing like he was staring into stars. Brightness could be blinding, but here it was soft and loving and _home_. Reaching up, Haru caressed the side of Makoto’s face. 

“I love you Makoto.” Haru whispered, breath hitching slightly as Makoto rubbed the back of his hand against his inner thigh. The knuckles rubbed the tender marks left my Makoto’s lips and sent silent shivers down his spine, amplified as Makoto’s hands slid under his crotch. 

Grunting, Haru had to press his hips down into the mattress as Makoto’s hand slid down from his crotch to his ass, fingers slipping in-between his cheeks and rekindling the fire Makoto had already started. They were slick and wet, smoother than Haru had ever felt from Makoto’s naturally calloused hands, and it made his body tremble with anticipation. 

Watching Haru carefully, Makoto’s finger circled around the rim of his entrance not once, but twice, wetting the hole thoroughly before slowly slipping inside. 

Against his tight inner heat, the finger was cold and it took away Haru’s breath for a moment, his ass clenching at the foreign touch. It was a strange sensation, having something inside of him. It wasn’t painful, which he was glad for, but it didn’t make his body twitch in pleasure either. It mostly just made him feel full and strange.

“How does it feel?” Makoto asked, curling the finger experimentally. He gaze was on Haru’s face, reading any and all expressions that crossed over it. 

“Weird.” Haru scrunched his nose, because honestly this wasn’t what he had expected. 

“Does it hurt?”

“No.” Makoto slowly pulled his finger out, only to press it back in a little bit quicker. _This_ Haru felt, and shivered unintentionally. Soon Makoto started to develop a little bit of a rhythm, and Haru quickly started to feel a deeper coil starting to wind. 

With each tender stroke the feeling started to grow until Haru could feel it all over, immersing him in a heat that slowly stared to rise from previous embers. Makoto kissed him then, biting his lower lip and kissing into his mouth wantonly. 

Haru then breathed in harshly as Makoto pulled his finger out and left him empty, only to slide back into him with two. 

“Oh.” Haru’s voice was little and his hips bounced up, pressing Makoto’s fingers further inside himself. It no longer felt weird; it felt _good_. Sweat beading on his face, Haru started to breathe in pants, his legs opening for Makoto naturally as he continued to press into him with rhythm. 

“Does it feel good?” Makoto murmured, his hot breath grazing Haru’s skin and making him dizzy. Running his hands along Makoto’s back, Haru could only nod as a series of moans passed through his throat as Makoto experimented with flicks and presses and curls. “It sounds like it does…” 

The words sounded twice as sexy when coming out of such a sweet mouth like Makoto’s, and pumped a new fire into Haru’s lungs that burned him so good. He used it to smolder hot, half-kisses along the bridge of Makoto’s nose and the sides of his cheeks. Makoto was panting too, Haru forcing out moans as he licked him down with his tongue because those felt just as good vibrating in his mouth, just like Makoto’s breath and his hand and dick and fuck he was losing his senses and all there was in the world was Makoto and Makoto and Makoto-

He hadn’t realized how used to the feeling he got until Makoto’s fingers left him completely and he whined, hips reaching for a contact that was no longer there. 

“Makoto-“

“I’m getting more.” Makoto soothed, stroking his knee. He reached over and flip the lid of the lube back open. “hold on.” Haru didn’t understand why Makoto felt the need for more, he already felt so wet, his dick and ass _dripping_ , but he didn’t have any energy to argue because he needed _more_ , and if this got him that then so _fucking_ be it. 

“Nhhh-“ Haru squeezed his eyes shut, this time not one or two but _three_ of Makoto’s fingers playing at his entrance, wetting the hole once more before sliding in. Haru sucked them in easily and forgot to take a breath, the digits tight and rubbing against him. When he realized he exhaled shakily, hands digging into the sheets as if it would somehow give him stability. 

And then Makoto touched it, some spot inside him that made him cry out in ecstasy and the world go dark for a second as his vision turned watery. It felt like he was melting into Makoto’s hand, his whole body pooling to his groin and he was thrusting his hips, trying to push that bundle of nerves because it felt so freaking _good_ …

“Shit, Haru.” Makoto’s finger’s quickened rapidly, slicking down Haru and fingers twitching to touch his own dick. In another few presses Makoto had Haru arching as he hit that special spot again, waves crashing against Haru as his body trembled with the pleasure it brought. 

“Makoto.” Haru moaned, saliva dripping down his chin. “Makoto stop, before I come…!” Haru begged, his voice the only one that seemed to have common sense here, and heaven beseech him Makoto pulled his three fingers out. Haru was not a begger, but here he was anyways, beyond his limits and needing more than what fingers could offer him. 

Clumsily turning to his side Haru grabbed the lube that was waiting and squirted some on his hands, rubbing it quickly over his fingers before slicking them over Makoto’s dick. His member was hot and throbbing against his hand, Makoto pressing into the touch with a hefty breath. It didn’t matter that his hand was shaking, from nerves and from the adrenaline pumping through his veins, Haru made sure to coat it wet and forget all the rest. 

The fact that he and Makoto were finally going to have sex. 

The fact that he and Makoto were going to be together in the closest way Haru could think of. 

The fact that he was so many emotions, scared and happy and excited and nervous.

All that really mattered was the two of them and now, and how much Haru wanted to _feel_. 

“Condom.” Haru blearily recalled, and he let go of Makoto for a second as the brunette reached over him to grab them off the bedside table. After a little fumbling, Makoto had the box open and was ripping one from the plastic, his lubed fingers making it rather difficult for it to go smoothly. 

“I’ll do it.” Haru reached for the object when it was free, enjoying immensely the blush touching Makoto’s ears, because Makoto was always cute no matter how turned on they were. Kissing him quickly on the lips, Haru rolled the condom on in a few tender strokes. “There.” He whispered, unashamedly staring. 

“There.” Makoto repeated, and then the two of them looked up at each other with a last final gaze. The fireflies were gone; so was the sunshine. Now Haru was filled to the brim with dark green emeralds, which still looked at him as if he was the most precious thing on the planet. Haru could only hope that his own eyes reflected back the same. 

“Remember to breathe.” Makoto reminded him, visibly biting his lip. “And If I’m hurting you let me know right away! I’ll go slow, I promise.”

“I know.” Haru smiled, reaching over to quickly intertwine their hands together. “I trust you. Now fuck me already.” 

“You don’t have to say it like that!” Makoto flushed. “It sounds like were doing something… _dirty_.” Haru frowned. Makoto had just fingered him with three fingers and he was worried about him sounding _dirty_? He decided to amuse him anyway. 

“Then how would you like me to say it?” 

“… Make love to me… or something…” That was far more embarrassing, Haru thought, but Makoto’s expression showed that it meant something to him, and for Haru that was enough to make it important. 

“Then…” Haru swung their fingers, heart hammering in his chest. It was so incredibly cheesy. Haru loved it anyways. “Make love to me, Makoto.”

Makoto’s face lit up at the words, sparkling softly in the mood lighting, and he pressed a soft kiss to their shared hands. _I love you_ , it said. _I want to be with you_ , it said. 

“Okay.” Letting Haru’s hand fall to his side as he let go, Makoto reached down and grasped his own protected dick with one hand, pressing Haru’s legs open farther with the other. To help him, Haru arched his hips for easier access. 

When the tip of Makoto’s dip pressed against his entrance, he shuddered. 

“Breathe.” Makoto whispered, words for them both because each of them were holding their breath as their bodies thrummed. Haru had to clench his toes to keep his legs from shaking, blood roaring in his ears because his body was already _aching_ for Makoto to press inside him, like it was already familiar with his touch. 

“hahh-“ Haru breathily exhaled as Makoto pushed past the rim and slowly slid inside him, the slickness of the lube not enough because Makoto was _too much_ , the fingers not preparing him at all for this. He felt sparks of pain like he was being pulled too tight, Makoto’s dick forcibly stretching him open as it was sucked inside. Body quivering and nails buried into the sheets, Haru painfully whimpered as Makoto tried to push in a little bit farther, feeling like he might snap in half from the pressure. 

“Haru I can’t do this. I can’t.” Immediately the pressure was gone and Haru felt sudden relief as Makoto pulled what little he had pressed in, out. Tears glittered in his green eyes, threatening to fall. “I can’t hurt you.” 

“Shhh.” Haru reached forward and grabbed Makoto by the cheeks, wiping the tears from his eyelashes. In the end, he knew Makoto would be far more nervous about this than he was. “Makoto, it’s okay. I’m fine, see?” Though his body ached a little, the pain was gone. 

“What if we do it wrong? What if I really hurt you?” Makoto continued, pressing his face into Haru’s palm. 

“I trust you.” Haru said quietly. “More than anyone. I want to be with you.”

“I want to be with you too.” Makoto’s face looked pained, as if he knew he was the reason he was being kept from something he wanted. “So much.” Instead of responding with words, Haru reached up and pulled Makoto towards him with a loving kiss, tenderly brushing their lips together. 

He could feel Makoto shaking and attempted to sooth him by running his hands down Makoto’s arms, caressing the skin with circles of his finger. 

“It’lll be okay.” He promised. Makoto nodded, pressing their foreheads together with a soft nuzzle, before pulling back and pressing his dick once again against Haru’s entrance. It was, if only a slight little bit, a bit easier to press in this time, Haru’s breath hitching as Makoto slid inside him. Makoto’s dick practically throbbed against his inner heat, the head burying inside him as it continued to painfully spread him open. 

Another low whimper past through Haru’s lips, and yet there was still _more_ to press in, Makoto still pushing, and Haru was convinced there was no more room for him, his lower half feeling like it was tearing in two. Body feeling weak as he trembled, Haru bit his lip from crying out and held his eyes shut while tears gathered in the corners.   
And then the pressure started to leave, Makoto dipping into a deeper part of him, his dick now filled inside up to the hilt. With some uncertainty Haru opened his eyes, a few tension-driven tears slipping down his cheeks. 

“You okay?” Makoto was there, pushing the wetness from his cheeks with concern. 

“Y-yeah.” Haru let out an unsteady breath, checking to see if that was the truth. He certainly felt full, filled with Makoto both above him and inside him, but the pain was ebbing away quickly to a much more bearable pressure. He no longer thought he was going to snap. 

And Makoto was inside him. The thought made him giddy. He, Haruka Nanase, _giddy_. 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah.” And this time Haru sounded a lot more so, letting go of the sheets to wrap his arms around Makoto’s back. He couldn’t help but smile. “I think I’m getting used to it.” Deciding to test that theory, Haru moved his hips forward a little. Both of them hissed at the contact, Makoto’s dick rubbing tightly inside him. 

Pulling his hips back, Makoto’s dick slid partially out, only to thrust right back in and press them closer together. The sensation made Haru shiver as electricity wound up his spine, toes curling against the fabric. 

“Do that again.” He whispered, locking his ankles behind Makoto’s back. Makoto obeyed, sliding out and rocking back into him with a moan on his lips. Haru bucked his hips at the sound, mewling as Makoto’s dick stroked tender skin. 

Wrapping his arms around Makoto’s shoulders, Haru pulled him forward into a heated kiss while he thrust them together for a third time, the word _more_ lost in his throat as his craving for it grew. With every new press of Makoto’s dick Haru felt the pleasure inside of him expand, their bodies slowly finding a rhythm. He couldn’t even remember what the pain from before had felt like.

“You feel amazing.” Makoto panted, kissing at Haru’s throat and wrapping his arms behind his back to pull them closer. Haru melted into him, running his hands through Makoto’s sweaty hair and caressing the back of his neck. “Haru…” 

“God, you’re so hot, Makoto.” Haru moaned, head tilted back. “So good… faster.” Heart pounding as lustful need took over anything else, Haru found himself begging for more contact. Makoto was more than willing to oblige, ramming into Haru with faster strokes that left him desperate. 

Hands sliding down to Makoto’s back, Haru nipped forcefully so Makoto had to kiss him, licking into his mouth and sucking at his tongue. The whining moans Makoto responded with made his untouched dick _sputter_ , the pleasurable feeling of everything driving him to his limits.

“Ah~!” Haru’s sobbed, his nails digging into Makoto’s back as his dick hit the special spot from before, hips bucking forward because he needed to feel _that_ again, needed _Makoto_ , and oh god _yes_! Makoto thrust forward and not only brushed the spot but hit it head on, Haru _wailing_ as he panted Makoto’s name, over and over. 

Haru was on the verge of insanity with how _good_ it felt, his hips off the bed as Makoto pushed into him deeper with his own cries of ecstasy. His dick rubbed along Makoto’s stomach and left shiny marks of pre-come, so wet and on the verge of release. 

“Makoto, I can’t-“ Haru’s body felt like he was going to rip open, his dick so hard it _hurt_. “I’m so close…!” 

“Haru.” Makoto thrusts were becoming frantic as his breaths. “Haru…!” Makoto’s voice was spread thin in his pants, Haru’s name rough and desperate on his lips. “ _Haruka_.”  
And then the thread holding him all together snapped and Haru was coming, his back arching as his head fell back in a voiceless cry of pleasure. It was like the world vanished and all Haru was seeing was white, his orgasm coursing through him and draining him dry. 

In a few more thrusts Makoto was coming as well, spilling into Haru with only a condom for protection. Falling into Haru’s limbs, the two came off their high together in a lazy tangle of themselves. 

“That was…” Makoto was breathing too hard to finish his sentence properly, but Haru didn’t need him to.

“Yeah.” Exhaling deeply, Haru found a new wave of exhaustion falling over him, his body now feeling like dead weight. Though his stomach was sticky and Makoto was still inside him, all he could think about was that he really could use a _nap_. 

“You okay?” Makoto asked softly, reaching up to push back some of Haru’s sweaty bangs when he noticed Haru had shut his eyes. 

“Mm.” he huffed lazily, opening them half-way so he could see Makoto. He looked beautifully ruined, hair tangled and sweat glistening down his chest. “Kinda sleepy.” Makoto chuckled, caressing his temple. The touch was very lulling. 

“We can go to sleep soon.” He promised. His breath now more or less having returned to him, Makoto slowly pulled out of Haru and got up and threw the used condom in the trash. 

It felt strangely empty without Makoto inside him, like a big part of him had just been removed. As content as he was, Haru probably would not have minded if Makoto stayed inside a little longer. The idea even sounded… nice. _Next time_ , he thought, and then a sense of smugness hit him because _next time_. 

When Makoto came back to the bed, he had a towel with him, and he began lightly patting Haru down, starting from his stomach all the way to his thighs. In that time, Haru must have faded out a bit because he noticed Makoto start, but had no idea he was done until gently pushing his nose with his finger. 

“Hey.” He swatted with a pout as he pushed the hand away. Reaching up, Haru wrapped his arms around Makoto’s middle and turned them onto their sides, hugging him close as if to protest any movement at all. Against him Haru curled his legs in and entwined their toes, burying his face into the crook of Makoto’s neck. Now _this_ was comfy. 

“Haru!” Makoto complained, though he snuggled Haru close the moment he pressed into his arms. “We need to put pajamas on first.” 

“It’s fine like this.” Haru murmured quietly, nuzzling his nose into Makoto’s skin. “Let’s sleep naked.” 

“It’s the middle of November. We’ll get _sick_.” Stupid Makoto, being all practical. “I don’t think either of us can afford that.” Haru huffed. 

“Fine. But I’m not moving.” To further his tantrum, Haru pushed himself out of Makoto’s arms and turned over to face the other side, curling in his body in because fuck now he _was_ getting cold. The movement of the bed told him that Makoto got up, and for a couple of minutes all Haru could hear was a couple of shuffles and the door opening, followed by Makoto’s return and a bottle of water being pressed gently into his hand. 

This man seriously knew him too well. 

Unscrewing the cap, Haru sat up a bit and gulped nearly half the bottle down before he was satisfied. When he was done he crawled over to the bedside table and set it next to the box of condoms. The _opened_ box of condoms. 

“I thought you said you weren’t moving.” Makoto teased, now dressed in a pair of pajama bottoms with a bundle of clothes for Haru in hand. 

“Shut up.” Stubbornly Haru took the clothes from him and quickly shoved the pair of underwear on, followed by Makoto’s familiar orange and white T-shirt. He had to admit, he felt much more comfortable in the clothes. 

After a few seconds of discussion, the two decided that they might as well strip the bed of the dirty sheets too, so while Makoto went into his closet for a new blanket Haru was lazily tossing the used one to the floor. By now Haru was ready to flop and never move again, his body already starting to ache with some soreness. 

Unfolding the new blanket they would use for the night, Makoto enfolded it around Haru like a cape and left to go turn off the light. Meanwhile, Haru wrapped himself up in the blanket. It was soft and feathery against his cheek, and he was already curling into a fluffy ball on the mattress when Makoto came back. 

Half-scooping him up, Makoto managed to curl Haru in his arms without disturbing his position too much. They naturally slid into each other comfortably, and Haru once again buried his face in the warmth of Makoto’s chest. 

“Goodnight Haru.” Makoto whispered, kissing him on the head and pulling him tight to his body. 

Already half-asleep, Haru’s voice was soft as air. 

“g’night.” He wanted to tell him that he loved him too, but by then he was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, about the future.   
> I'm not 100% sure where I'll be going from here in the story. While i had things planned, I recently decided that what i had thought up doesn't work the best within the context of this fic. It just feels like too much of a stretch, and since this makoharu fic has already gotten quite lengthy, i don't want to draw it on for too much longer. Still, i don't think Always Beside you is quite ready to end. It needs a bit something else. I'm just not exactly sure what that is yet. 
> 
> Basically, from here on out things will be a surprise for all of us. 
> 
> See you next Makoharu time, guys~!


End file.
